Title: Chasing After You
Themes/Genre/Prompt: Idolatry, Admiration
Pairings: RenjixByakuya
Rating: M, for language
Summary: One day, I will stand next to you

Hey guys~~~!!! D: If you've been reading "Playing Nice" and your wondering why I haven't updated? It's because I'm stuck D: STUCK STUCK STUCK D: So I'm trying to maybe... give myself some inspiration? But here D: this junk in my brain :] I've gotten rid of it. It's a little bit on the short side... maybe?? :] Please don't kill me D: I promise I'll update "Playing Nice" soon D: PROMISE D: (gimme like a month )

Disclaimer: I obviously obviously obviously don't own Bleach. Did I mention this was really obvious?

His face? I wouldn't know how to describe it. The women tell me he's beautiful, and handsome. A real Adonis, and damn what they wouldn't give to sleep with him. But no, I can't describe his face, his wonderful profile that the women swoon over. To tell you the truth, I don't even recall what he looks like. Me? I'm always watching his back. Always...always, behind him.

We live different lives. And still, I am below him on the rungs of the social ladder. I, a rat from Rukongai, could never compete with him, the head of the noble Kuchiki house, because in his eyes, I am nothing more than the dirt beneath his feet.

I'd grown up an orphan, and I've survived on my own in Rukongai. My strength is indeed an asset. Compared to him though, I am still second in command, a lieutenant to a captain. I fought him once, for Rukia's sake, but I was utterly defeated. I raised my head, only to see that precious scarf of his, descending upon my broken, battered body. But I found him walking away, his back, turned toward me.

Rukia. I thought I had a good chance with Rukia. The orphan I grew up with, the child I went to school with, and the precious young woman that was taken away from me. That bastard. Have I become second in Rukia's life too? Because I don't want to lose her. My friend. My family. No...not mine, because he's taken that from me as well. Rukia is his family now.

Sometimes, when I walk behind him, I think the number on his majestic captain's haori is mocking me. The number, so similar to a badly drawn stick figure, laughing. Laughing at the fact that I am below him. Laughing at the fact that I trail in his dust. Laughing at the fact that I cannot even match him. Laughing...ever laughing...

"Abarai."
I blink. Kuchiki Byakuya is glaring at me from his desk. His paperwork? All done. Mine? I haven't even started. I meet his gaze again. Seems he's trying to indicate that I should do my paperwork. Grumbling, I remove my feet from the desk and start filling out the blasted fucking papers. Only Kami knows what that bastard will do to me if I don't.

An uncharacteristic sigh escapes from the captain, and I peek at him. He's massaging his temples, yet another uncharacteristic development. Next thing I know, his lips are where they shouldn't be. On mine. And he steps back a few minutes too soon, and I nearly whine, but I have no right to ask for more. I watch him remove a stack of paperwork from my desk. He glances at me again. As if he's telling me to keep working. And keep working I will, because only Kami knows how mad he'll be if he has to help even more with my paperwork.

I'm watching his back again, as he heads toward the Kuchiki house. But it's at times like this that I don't mind as much, watching his back like this. I know that maybe someday, I'll be able to match him. Someday, I'll be able to look him in the eye when I'm standing next to him. Someday, maybe I'll even surpass him, and he can watch my back.

I'm still waiting for that someday.

But for now, I will be content to stand behind him. To be the dirt beneath his feet. To be the Rukongai rat. To be the orphan, without a family. The one that everyone mocks. I will be all that, as long as I can stand behind him. Right now? I will be content.

Watching him walk away. So close, but still out of reach. There are still many years to go before I can stand next to him. And so... I chase after him.

If only to give him that little push, a nudge that I lay on his back and he quickens his pace toward the Kuchiki house, knowing full well that I'll follow, that I'll chase after him. Because not even Kami knows that there's nothing more heavenly than the feeling of his fingers in my hair, and his skin against mine.

Ahaha :] I seem to have some issue with lines... WHY ARE THERE SO MANY??? D: bwaaah D: the junk has left my head :] hope it's not too disappointing :]