He's Just Not That Into You
(As seen in the movie, just kidding.)

Summary: Aiyu (OC) used to play with Kurama when they were children. She moved to the United States. Now she's back as an idol, with hordes of fans at her feet, hoping to catch Kurama's eye, but he's just not that interested in a superficial fan girl, famous or not. At least his friends are on his side, and they plan to bring her down. By the way, he swears she's killing his social life.

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I don't need a disclaimer! ... At least that's what I want to say... however, I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho...

Author's Note: I wanted to try a sort of parody for the Mary Sue fandom. I'm hoping to mature it into a good story at some point, but let's see how this goes. Enjoy.

Chapter 1

"He's my boyfriend, so back off buddy."

"He- he- he, the Minamino Shuichi is your boyfriend?"

"That's right," Aiyu glowed as she tilted her head to peck the corner of Kurama's lips.

"Why? Why is it always him? Every single girl… I'll remember this, Minamino!" The boy jabbed his finger at Kurama and stormed off in a huff.

"Um, excuse me miss," Kurama addressed the girl clinging to his arm. He tried to pull away but her grip was stronger than the grip of the fan girls he dealt with back in high school, and he was afraid his demon strength would harm her.

"Thanks, hon, you really saved me back there. That guy just couldn't understand the meaning of "not interested."" The girl commented off handedly.

"Glad I could help, now if you would please-."

"I'll treat you to a drink as a "thank you." C'mon," She pulled at Kurama's arm to get him to follow.

"I'm afraid I must decline," Kurama protested, as politely as he could. None of the girls back in high school were ever that pushy with him. They idolized him and placed him on a pedestal, so no one girl ever got to monopolize him, especially since he has such a strategic way with words to get them to back down.

"Why?" The girl tilted her head at an angle, Kurama imagined she must've blinked a few times to enhance the innocent I'm-not-up-to-anything look, but her huge shades obscured her eyes and half of her face. "School hours are over, I'm sure your mother wouldn't mind you having a life once in a while."

Kurama's eyebrow twitched. Was the she trying to imply something?

"I really can't," Kurama grinded out.

"Aww, don't be like that Shu-kun. We haven't seen each other for eons."

"Who-?"

"Did chu (1) forget me already?" The girl loosened her grip and Kurama extracted himself from her hold to face her properly. "You're so heartless. And to think you proclaimed your undying love for me before."

Kurama took a step back, he did not like where this conversation was going. The girl must be delusional to think he'd ever say that to a fan girl willingly. She was wearing heels, so even at his human speed, he could certainly outrun her. He'll just have to find a way to avoid this route from not on. It wouldn't be too hard. Rooftops were always an option when you're a demon.

The girl sighed, and Kurama got ready to run. The girl took of her shades, shook her hair back and looked up at Kurama with bright hazel eyes.

"Remember me?"

Kurama took in the chestnut hair streaked with blond and pink, and the provocative form fitting outfit. None of it was reminiscent of the girl he once knew, but the expressive eyes were unmistakable.

"Aiyu?"

"The one and only, Hanasaki Aiyu, at your service," Aiyu gave Kurama a flourished bow. She grinned at Kurama as she straightened and Kurama could see the dimpled face of a chubby girl in his memories.

"Surprised?" Aiyu asked grinning from ear to ear.

They were sitting at a two person booth in a homely little café downtown. The décor was simple but mildly pleasant.

"When did you get back to Japan?" Kurama asked instead.

"I've been back from the States for two weeks actually," Aiyu spooned a mouthful of ice cream, and paused mid-response to enjoy the treat. "Mmmm. The ice cream here is the best. Don't chu agree? It's just the way I remembered it. I'm so glad they haven't taken this shop down yet. So I was mostly trying to readjust to the time change and settling things down at home and with work the first week. The second week I was completely inundated with work. I just finished work as a matter of fact. I didn't even bother to change because I couldn't wait to see you. I found out you go to Tokyo U so I wandered around hoping to bump into you. And then that boy you saw earlier recognized me and wouldn't stop tailing me. Then I saw you waiting by the cross section, and- well you know the rest." Aiyu ate another spoonful of ice cream.

Kurama just stared. His quick brain had already processed all the information, but he was surprised at how much breath Aiyu had. She was never much of a talker before, he didn't know she was capable of talking his ears off. Maybe she picked it up from one of the foreign countries she moved to. Hopefully Japan can reverse that. As a childhood friend he feels obligated to help her get re-accustom, but he didn't think he could stand five minutes with her if she continued like this.

"So how long will you be back?" Kurama finally asked.

"Chu make it sound like chu don't want me back, Shu-kun." Aiyu stuck out her lower lip. Kurama didn't know how to respond so he just took a sip of his honeyed, lemon tea. Truthfully, he wasn't sure if he was thrill or depressed to have Aiyu back. If it was, say, seven years ago maybe he'd be more grateful for her presence, but the years have dulled his memories, and the new Aiyu was, how to put it mildly, grinding on his nerves.

"I'm staying here to attend university," Aiyu smiled, exuberant. She seemed like she was having trouble staying in her seat at the news. "And if I'm accepted here, I might even be able to have a permanent residence here, except for the occasional tours, you know."

'Occasional tours?' No, Kurama did not know what she was talking about.

"What kind of work do you do?" Kurama asked, eyeing her outfit dubiously. A tub top that showed off some of her cleavage, a sleeveless hoodie with a fur hood, and a leather skirt complete with several belts draped diagonally across her waist and hips and boots with two inch heels.

"You don't know?" She sounded surprised and a little disappointed.

Kurama's eyebrow twitched. Something about Aiyu was really making him tick for some reason. Of course he didn't know, she never said what it was.

"I'm-," Aiyu started. The store bell chimed to announce new costumers.

"Hanasaki Aiyu-sama? Is that really you?" Aiyu perked up at the voice and turned around to see four junior high girls standing in the shop's doorway.

"Oh my god, it is Aiyu!" another girl exclaimed. The other two squealed and the group quickly advanced to their table.

"I saw you from the store window. I'm a big fan of yours," a girl with her hair in braids gushed.

"Oh, really?" Aiyu looked a little taken aback. "That's… nice."

"I just bought a copy of your latest album; will you sign it for me?"

"Sure," Aiyu rummaged around for a writing implement. Kurama was beginning to guess what was happening. He pulled out a sharpie from his school bag and handed it to Aiyu. She smiled brilliantly at him and accepted it.

"Will you sign my notebook?"

"Of course."

Kurama noted that Aiyu at least did not decorate her signature with hearts.

"Thank you so much," the girls sighed.

"It was a pleasure to meet you," Aiyu smiled holding out her hand. The girls looked shock for a second before one of them timidly shook Aiyu's hand; her friends quickly followed her example.

"The pleasure is all ours. We wish you the best of luck in Japan."

"Thank you. Your support means a lot to me," Aiyu smiled.

The girls squealed and exited the shop, chattering excitedly with each other.

"I shook hands with Aiyu-sama, Mia will be so jealous when she fines out." Her friends giggled along with her.

"Thanks," Aiyu returned Kurama's sharpie, "That's the second time you helped me out today."

"So, is this your work?" Kurama arched an eyebrow in amusement.

"Basically. I do a little modeling on the side and among other things. Ah! My ice cream melted," Aiyu sobbed. She recovered in a second and waved for a waiter's attention. "Mister, another parfait please." When she turned her attention back to Kurama she paused, "What are you smirking about?"

"Nothing much. It's just that, with your personality, it's hard to imagine you as an idol," Kurama's smile grew more secretive and amused, "You used to get bullied all the time and come running to my house with snot dripping down your nose."

Aiyu took in a sharp breath of air, "I. Did. Not." She made her voice sound scandalous.

"No, I'm serious," Kurama lost the smile, "this kind of stuff wasn't your style before."

"Well, people change," Aiyu said, defensive, and confirming the truth that Kurama dreaded. "Don't you think I'm classier now?" Her voice softened, and her eyes glazed over with something that Kurama wasn't too keen on investigating. "Beautiful? Desirable? Enough to stand beside to you?"

Yes, Aiyu really have changed, she wasn't the same girl that Kurama used to have a soft spot for. Kurama shook his head, not meeting Aiyu's eyes. He wasn't sure if it was in denial or an answer to Aiyu's questions.

"I should go now. I have somewhere to be," Kurama stood up and placed down a couple of bills, more than enough to cover his drink. "I'll see you around, Aiyu." Kurama said without commitment.

"Shu-kun?" Aiyu called softly after Kurama as he left the shop, the bell chiming his departure.

"Miss, your parfait," the waiter place a scrumptious glass of ice cream in front of Aiyu, but her appetite had went out the door with Kurama. She left some tips on the table and exited the store.

Footnote(s):

(1) Her form of saying "you." For some people they pronounce it as "chu" because of accent or they say the word too fast or unclearly. Some people use it as a "cuter" form of you. The last case applies to her.

A/N: If you're interested in being my beta for this fan fiction please PM or e-mail me. If you like it please review! I want to know your thoughts on this. Constructive criticism is highly appreciated.