This story takes place at the end of the season 5 episode - Unfaithful. It opens at Cuddy's house where the ceremony for Rachel's Simchat-bat has just concluded. This is a Huddy story and Rachel does not make an appearance.

Chapter 1

The ceremony had turned out to be a very nice event. Rachel looked beautiful. Everyone had been appropriately attentive to her, making a fuss and generally having a very good time. Even Lisa Cuddy's sister, who had braved the icy roads to make it to the celebration, behaved herself. Why then, Cuddy wondered, did she feel so let down?

The only people left in the house at this late hour were her mother, who spending the night and had decided she would be the one to put her new granddaughter to bed , and James Wilson who was helping Cuddy clear away some of the left over plates.

"You know James you don't have to do that. The caterers are sending around a cleaning crew in the morning. They'll take care of all this."

Wilson put down the plate he was holding and looked closely at Lisa. He knew she was upset and didn't want to leave her while she was feeling so sad.

"Lisa you know he would have come if he really thought you wanted him here."

" I know, -- that's just it. I didn't want him here. I mean I did, but I didn't. Cuddy looked at Wilson with hurt and confusion on her face.

"I told him not to come." she confessed in a quiet voice.

"And now your surprised and disappointed that he listened to you?"

Wilson shook his head. He didn't know what to make of her. She was certainly a match for House. At the moment, if he were to be asked, Wilson would be hard pressed to say which one of his two best friends were more screwed up. In fact, he thought, in the race for most screwed up person, Lisa Cuddy and Gregory House, were neck and neck in his book.

Wilson once again turned his eyes on to Cuddy, "Well you hurt him" he said. "I honestly think he wanted to be part of --- .

" Part of what, Jimmy? Rachel's Simchat bat!? A religious tradition!? Come on, you know he would have mocked everything about this night."

Wilson shook his head sadly and gestured with his hand.

"No not this, he said, "or, not JUST this. - "You -- Rachel, all of it . I think he wants to be part of that. -- Part of your life. And I really believe he would have behaved himself tonight - for your sake."

Cuddy bowed her head. When she spoke her voice was low and caught in her throat.

"He is part of my life." she whispered. "He's an important part."

Cuddy could see the doubt on Wilson face.

"Well you have a strange way of showing it," he said. " For someone who is supposed to be your oldest friend you sure did go out of your way to hurt the guy."

Seeing the pain on Lisa face Wilson quietly took two steps over to her and kissed her on the cheek. "It's ok Lisa. House is a big boy. He'll get over it and everything will go back to the way it was before."

Cuddy bit her lip, not quite sure if that was indeed what she wanted. With that Wilson walked over to the hall closet to retrieve his coat. As he walked out of the front door he turned and saw that Lisa was still standing there alone in the middle of the room just as he had left her. The discarded plates of left over food and half drunk drinks bearing witness to her sadness and regret.

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An hour later Lisa Cuddy found herself, in the middle of a snow storm, in the driver's seat of her car, maneuvering around minor traffic accidents and stalled cars. Cuddy didn't know what possessed her. She only knew that she had to see him. Now, tonight, before she had time to think things through. She was always thinking. Weighing the pros and cons. Doing what she thought made the most sense. But not tonight, tonight she could only think of him and how lonely she had felt in a house filled with her friends and family. She wasn't sure of the reception he would give her, but she knew she had to try. She kept herself from thinking about what she would say to him when she got to his house by concentrating on driving through the icy streets.

Thank God her mother hadn't asked too many questions when she had told her she was going out. She seemed to know something was bothering Lisa all night. Cuddy suspected her mother might have some kind of idea where her daughter was headed. Earlier that evening she had asked her where Gregory House was. Lisa lied and said he had an emergency at the hospital, but she knew her mother didn't buy it. Lisa had been lying to her mother since she was 12 years old but somehow her mother always knew the truth, even if she didn't call her on it.

Cuddy thought back to the conversation she had had with her mother the evening of the day she had discovered her old med school desk in her office. Her mother had been surprised to hear from her that day. She usually only called on Saturday mornings, but that she did like clockwork. When Lisa asked her about the desk her mother confirmed that it was indeed Greg House who had paid to have it taken out of storage and to get it refinished and shipped to her office. House had made Cuddy's mother promise not to say anything and spoil the surprise. Cuddy had been shocked to hear that House had actually driven out to meet with her mother at the storage facility. She said Greg had been very excited about the whole thing and acted like a young boy with a big secrete. Cuddy's mother had laughed at the memory. When she asked her daughter if she had enjoyed her gift Cuddy told her it had made her very happy. But they both knew she was lying.

Cuddy knew her mother wanted to know what was wrong but she could never bring herself to discuss her feelings with her, or anyone else for that matter. She was a private person and she liked feeling in control. She had learned early on that being in control meant keeping a tight reign on your emotions. She knew that if she told her mother about her hurt and disappointment upon seeing House with that other woman she would lose the little control over her feelings that she had left. Just thinking about it now made tears well up in Lisa's eyes. Between her tears and the icy snow falling down in sheets Cuddy knew she could no long drive safely. She pulled the car over to the side of the road. and waited. After a few minutes she slammed her hand down on the steering wheel. She was still a few of blocks from House's apartment and a few miles from her own home. She was mad at herself for still being affected by the vision of House and that woman - together - so playful and animated with each other.

God what was she doing? she thought. Out in the middle of the night, in the middle of a snow storm. On her way to see House. House?! She should be safe at home with her daughter, getting ready to climb into her large comfortable bed. Was she crazy? Only House could effect her like this. Only he could make her lose control . Cuddy got angrier by the minute. She thought about trying to drive home but she knew the roads had become too dangerous. She reached for her bag so she could pull out her cell phone and call a cab but realized, in her haste to run out the door, she had left her phone at home. Damn that James Wilson for making her feel guilty she thought and damn House too. Knowing there was nothing left to do Cuddy stormed out of her car and began walking the 4 blocks to House's apartment.