Summary: Yoh and Hao, 15-year-old siblings. Follow their insane lives just being twins. Contains an evil Anna, a strangely dense Yoh and a very hot Hao...but he was already hot to start with.
Author's notes! Just spare me; my first SK fanfic was based on absolutely nothing at all. Except for Hao, 'cause he's hot.
It was a quiet evening in the Asakura household. The parents, grandparents and everyone else was gone. It was quiet enough for Asakura Hao to snuggle up against the brand new sofa and drift into a peaceful, awesome sleep...
...But that was too good to be true, right?
"HAAAAAAAAO!" Yoh yelled out, as his long-haired elder brother got himself up wearily from the sofa. Yoh grinned eagerly, as he voluntarily pulled Hao from his sleeping position.
"Wh-WHAT?!" Hao barked angrily at his twin, as he groggily let Yoh guide him through the hallways of their mansion. His eyes drooped and his exposed chest needed a shirt for privacy's sake (not like he had any...he even had to share the same e-mail as Yoh!)
"Tomorrow's Valentines' Day, Hao!" Yoh replied cheerfully, "and since I made the kitchen explode last year, you need to help me make some stuff for Anna or she'll..."
"Kill you, stir-fry your heart and lungs and then sell them off to the needy?" Hao asked sarcastically, though he very well knew Anna was capable of such sadistic actions. She was expelled from her Biology class because she stole the sheep's hearts and played dodgeball against the whole class. Bloody mess.
"Y-Yeah, that..." Yoh muttered, before breaking into a grin, "but I just bought a bullet-proof vest just in case!"
"...Right." the 15-year-old boy muttered, as he struggled to keep up with Yoh.
Hao always wondered if Yoh's birth certificate was authentic and true. Hao knew he was the older one, but by 3 minutes? That was rather illogical.
Yoh was so innocent that he thought that a 'fiancee' meant 'servant in some really cool language', or that was what Yoh put it as. He learnt that word pretty quickly when Anna, upon hearing that, punched him and made him memorise the dictionary...not like Yoh ever did do that.
He was so stupid that he cut Hao's hair once so Anna would be confused and wouldn't know who's who. Hao got so angry, he shaved Yoh's hair at night. Of COURSE people could differentiate Hao and Yoh even when Hao had short hair; Hao was hotter (and the elder brother took much pride in that)
Hao always wondered what would happen if he wasn't there watching Yoh all the time. Maybe Anna would kill him in a span of a few seconds. Maybe Yoh would go brain-dead in a few seconds. Maybe someone would be calling Yoh every few seconds to tell him what not to do.
Maybe...
He felt Yoh come to a complete stop, and the elder brother sighed.
"So...whaddya wanna make? Cookies, cake, ma-!"
"Can we give a banana?"Yoh asked eagerly, "because I THINK Anna likes them..."
Hao groaned, and he smacked the back of Yoh's head angrily, "She doesn't, Yoh. She hates them. And we can't make bananas in a kitchen..." He checked the kitchen, scanning the area for a banana, "...since we don't have any to begin with."
Now Hao wondered why HE had to know everything about Anna. He hated that blonde girl, but because his little brother had an immensely low EQ and a terrifyingly bad memory, Hao would always remind Yoh on how to act, what to say, what to do, and whatever information he needed to get Yoh out of trouble...and away from Anna's insane punishments. He was the brains, and Yoh was the little puppet...in a good way for Yoh, of course.
"Then..." Yoh mused over this predicament (Hao just thought 'predicament' would fit better than 'choices already given' in his situation) and he sighed dejectedly, "WHAT CAN I DO TO PLEASE ANNA-SAN?!"
Hao rolled his eyes, "Cookies...?"
"Does she like cookies, Hao?"
"She does, Yoh. She does."
"Alright, cookies it is! LET'S START!" Yoh grinned cheekily, before he stared momentarily around the kitchen. "Uh..." He looked at his elder brother, eyeing him closely, and Yoh pouted.
Hao groaned again, "Yeah, yeah, I'll help..."
And I thought he finally KNEW how to start...
"Yay!" Yoh cheered, and he plopped down into a seat, ready to do whatever Hao instructed him.
Not like Hao would let him do anything.
"...Are you done?"
"No, Yoh, I'm NOT."
"Oh, okay," Yoh replied, yawning lazily as Hao mixed the flour and stuff together. When he saw Hao pause for a moment, he asked again, "Done?"
Hao didn't bother to reply, but that was a fatal mistake.
"YOU DONE ALREADY?!" Yoh pulled his brother's face close to his own to yell at him. Hao bashed his forehead onto Yoh's, causing his younger brother to tumble back, before falling off his chair.
Hao smirked, "That's what you get for messing wit- URF!"
Yoh kicked him behind his knees, and Hao threw the bowl of cookie mixture up into the air, collapsing into a heap next to Yoh, who started to laugh really hard.
"THAT'S NOT FUNN- GAH!" Hao soon found his hair, his bare chest and his jeans soaked with flour and water and chocolate. Yoh laughed even harder. The bowl landed right on Hao's head, such that he now had the bowl for a helmet.
Hao glared angrily at Yoh, "Look, if you're gonna screw this up, I'm goin-WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!"
He watched (and felt) in horror as Yoh started to claw at Hao's chest with his grubby hands, before licking up the cookie mix. Yoh cocked his head to the side at his brother's shocked expression, "What?" He licked his lips happily, and instantly, his face lit up, "Hey, this ain't half bad!...I can taste my sweat in it though..." He continued sucking on his own hands and fingers.
The long-haired boy smacked Yoh again, "It's MINE, you BAKA!" He stood up and frowned in disgust at his dirty self, "I need a BATH! Dammit, Yoh..."
"W-Wait!" Yoh pulled himself up (using Hao as his support, as usual) and Hao arched an eyebrow.
"What?"
"...Are you sure that's your sweat I tasted? 'Cause it's really like mine!"
After an hour of Hao screaming "I FEEL SO DAMN VIOLATED, DAMMIT!" in the bathroom, Yoh finally got up to find the dictionary to search 'violated', but since the dictionary was downstairs by the book shelf, he decided against it.
Hao emerged from the bathroom, smelling of strawberries. His hair was soaked, but neat (he always had a comb hidden somewhere in every room) and he had a sleeveless shirt on that showed his thin yet muscular arms. He had a towel wrapped around his lower body (he didn't want the edge of his jeans wet, and he certainly didn't want Yoh to see him in his boxers) and when he saw Yoh, he flinched.
"Mmm, strawberry?" Yoh asked innocently, as Hao nodded sheepishly, locking himself in his room to change into his jeans.
Once he was done, Yoh held Hao's hand gingerly and headed towards the kitchen. "We need to start NOW!"
As the duo neared the kitchen entrance, Hao ran in front of Yoh, blocking the entrance.
"Now, Yoh, before we start, promise me that you would just stay there and don't do anything." Hao wagged his finger, poking Yoh's nose playfully.
"...Okay."
"Good," Hao clasped his hands together in satisfaction, "so I'll start, while you sit somewhere."
"...Hao?"
A sigh. "No, Yoh, I will not let you lick the spoon."
The two sat in silence for a moment. They were seated on the floor, just in case...anything happens.
"Then what about-!"
"No, Yoh, you can't open the oven just yet. We have 5 more minutes til it's done." The long-haired brother gestured towards the dustbin, filled with the rejected cookies that Yoh screwed up. Hao had left Yoh to take note of the time while he took a nap ("You deprived me of one, so now I'll sleep!") but when he woke up an hour later, he found Yoh snuggled up, next to him, sleeping soundly, his head buried in Hao's chest. After a few seconds of stroking Yoh's hair, Hao smelled something burning.
"Yoh...YOH! You idiot! The cookies!"
"...Huh?" Yoh blinked, and he stretched in satisfaction, "Oh, morning, onii-chan!"
"JUST BRING THE EXTINGUISHER!" Hao yelled, as he scurried to save the cookies.
There were no fatalities. Just a very pissed Hao, a very confused Yoh and some very burnt cookies.
Hao sighed as he drearily checked his watch. "Three more...minutes, Yoh, and you can brin- ugh."
He stared at Yoh, already dozing off in a peaceful sleep. A small smile was evident on his face, and he had his headphones plugged into his ears for musical comfort.
"Ah," Hao muttered, as he pulled Yoh's head to rest on his shoulder, "you baka."
He pulled Yoh closer to him, listening to Yoh's quiet snores, the music blasting out from his headphones, and he rolled his eyes.
His mind is like a black hole; sucks in everything but nothing ever comes back out. Baka.
Hao checked his watch, and he gently let Yoh lean against the wall. He stood up and dusted his jeans, heaving a sigh of relief as he equipped his right hand with an oven glove. He pulled out the tray of cookies, laden with 8 red M&Ns, since the number 8 was auspicious, and Anna liked the colour red. There were 8 cookies for Anna and 8 cookies for Yoh and Hao to share.
Glancing at Yoh, who was starting to snore even louder, Hao shook his head. He lifted Yoh up in his arms, bridal-style, and he threw Yoh up in the air for a brief moment, remarking on how light he was.
He trudged to the living room, and he lay Yoh down, ruffling his hair. Hao smiled softly, as he entered his bedroom to rummage for a red ribbon, and a transparent plastic to wrap up the cookies.
With Yoh asleep...peace and complete sanity.
Hao walked back to the kitchen, holding the materials for the perfect gift for Yoh to give to Anna. He took a whiff of the aromatic cookies, and he grinned in delight.
Someone spoiled that for him.
"Yuuuumm..." Yoh exhaled, patting his stomach contentedly, before letting out a burp. He grinned at the 7, repeat, SEVEN remaining cookies, "Red M&Ns are awesome..."
Hao stared at the scene before him. "...Yoh...?"
"Oh, heya, onii-chan!" He picked up the cookie with the different assortments of colours of M&Ns, "want some? They're colourfuuuul!"
"You..." Hao pointed a shaky accusing finger at Yoh, as he grew wide-eyed at the 7 cookies. "are SO dead when Anna finds out that you ate her coo-!"
"HAO. YOH." Anna strode in, twirling the beads in her necklace. She smirked at Hao, who froze and glared at Yoh, who waved at her, looked at the cookie in his hand, and popped it into his mouth.
"I-!"
"HAO-SAMA DID IT HE BAKED THE COOKIES AND I DON'T KNOW WHERE THE COOKIES ARE!" Yoh screamed in response, as he dived towards Anna's legs, hugging them so tight that the girl almost fell, "SO PLEASE DON'T KILL ME 'CAUSE IT'S VALENTINES' DAY AND I WANNA LIVEEEEEEE!"
Hao gaped at his brother in shock, and he dropped on his knees, crawling to Anna, still holding that cold nonchalant look on her face. "DON'T HURT MEEEE I JUST WANTED TO SAVE MY LIL' BROTHER FROM YOU BECAUSE YOU'D KILL HIM AND STIR-FRY HIS ORGANS FOR LUNCH IF HE DIDN'T GET YOU ANYTHING FOR VALENTINES'...!"
Did Hao ever mentioned that Anna was evil?
"1079 cookies...1080 cookies...!" Hao managed as he shoved in the last cookie into his mouth. Now he wondered why Anna had to punish her brother-in-law to-be as well.
"Heh...cookie." Yoh burped out, as the two collapsed in the heap of cookie crumbs. Anna glared at the two siblings before she waved her hand dismissively.
"Yoh, scrub the hallways. Hao, clean up this mess and scrub the living room clean."
"NOOOOOO!"
Hao never looked at a cookie the same way again.
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