Summary: The twisted nature of the Undertaker creates a problem for Ciel. A jokes a joke, but what joke did dear Sebastian tell to create such a reaction?
Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroshitsuji.
A/N: Ello! Yes...I realize the controversy over what joke Sebastian told to gain the Undertaker's wonderful giggle but, I have solved it! ...well this my depiction...rather what I believe happened. Trust me, it makes perfect sense.
Warning: Laughter will ensue.
Chapter: Mr. Happy
The curving red head eyed the dank establishment. Her pretty features somewhat obscure. She, nor any of the others...except maybe that perfect butler of "his" knew...where the tiny master had taken them.
Back side of town, dark and dreary the construction itself held no identification other than the creaking sign hanging beneath the slanted roof "The Undertaker"? The cherry haired beauty pursed her lips, chills worming up and down her legs; regardless of her tights. Sighing she turned to her petite nephew as the back of her dress was tugged on.
"Where on earth are we!?" the shrill voice exited the shaking brunette butler, his gloved fists knotting in the back of his lady's dress.
Curling his lips slightly the tall Chinese male tilted his head to the side, trying his best to hide his uneasy feeling. His closed eyes rolled around beneath his lids; trying desperately to remove the vision of the crooked coffins pilled in front of the only spider webbed covered window.
Ciel frowned at the question, his small hands wrapped tightly around his walking stick. He hated coming here, he hated that question...and most of all...he hated what he knew was going to happen.
Griding his molars, the navy haired haired boy stood straight up, his look of defiance ever prominent. Motioning his butler, the rest of his entourage entered the dark building.
An aura of death and misery pooled in the dismal atmosphere. Damp and chilly, every eye was on the morbid scene of the region. Stacks of old books and papers lay askew and pilled over the tables and floor. The dusty floorboards creaked with the weight of the company as the many shadows flickered off the faint candle light. Anatomy dummies and dolls of sorts sat in odd positions, their empty glass eyes staring at the warm mass of bodies.
Grell whimpered slightly, the reflections of the assorted vials and the guard dog skeletons were causing him to feel faint. Attaching his self to the back of his Madame, the skittish butler chewed his lip in fright.
Ciel cleared his throat, the one navy eye darting around the room. Backing against a wall, the child looked over to his butler. His face calm as the dead...an appropriate metaphor. The silky brunette stood next the youth; waiting for a command.
" Undertaker...?" the tone was annoyed and loud.
Nothing.
Lau, Madame Red, and the shivering butler stood in anticipation. Wide eyes peered and smoothed over every seen object in the room...waiting for movement. Put on guard they waited, an endless vortex of time had seemed to pass, yet the ticking grandfather clock in the back chimed that only a few seconds had passed.
Almost about to huff in relief, a heavy creak bent the ears of the visitors. To the left of the young master stood a large ebony and silver lined coffin. It's hinges shrieked and moaned, the dense door failing wide open.
" I knew you would come..." the shaking voice echoed off the walls.
All three, jumped in unison. Sebastian ever cool and little Ciel depressed and annoyed.
The lanky figure, sneaked from the containments of the body box; his high heeled boots scrapping against the hard wood floor.
Raising his sleeved covered hands the creepy male glided next to Ciel. Long gray strands swirled in the air as the odd man towered over the irritated boy.
" Have you finally decided to come test one of my special coffins, dear Earl?" a special ring was elicited from the taller male's throat, his pale hand peeking from beneath his cloak like garment. A long sable colored nail poked the soft flesh of Ciel's cheek.
Ciel bated the opposing hand away, a deep scowl over his features. Tapping his cane on the floor, the youth motioned towards the Undertaker.
" Hardly, but no, not today. I need to ask-" the boy was immediately hushed by the dark cloth of the Undertaker's sleeve.
"Now, now. Are you here on account of those dead women?"
Ciel's lips tightened, his head shaking "yes". The Undertaker, swirled around; his outstretched arms almost knocking over a full urn.
"Of course...I have a price...for certain information..." a gentle chortle followed as the peculiar mortician wrapped his baggy sleeves around Ciel's shoulders.
Lau's pale eyes popped open, standing to attention he smiled greatly.
" How much? Three, four thousand?" he felt confidant in his bribe.
A loud grunt broke the Chinese man's self-assurance, the Undertaker flung his sleeves around, almost smacking Sebastian in the face.
"No amount of the Queen's money could suffice me, no-no-no. I am in the mood for a modest laugh!!" Clasping his long fingers together, a wide grin perched on the edges of his pearl lips.
Lau's eyes went cross, all were apparently were confused.
" Ah, a joke. Just one. Make me laugh!!" a light giggle followed.
Ciel rolled his eyes; spying the slight smirk on Sebastian's lips. "What is he smiling about....?" Clearing his throat and standing with an uproar; the Asian male pointed a finger towards the gray haired male, his brown eyes shinning.
" Listen up then. The New Year festival's of Shanghai is know as the Sleeping Tiger!" Lau smiled with his precise " joke".
Grell's eyes widen, his Madame's mouth dropping open with the quite breeze of the room. The Undertaker frowned.
Sucking in her breath, the red decked out lady stood; pointing a ruby nail at the pale haired funeral director. Pressing her shiny lips together, the crimson dame narrowed her eyes.
"No matter! Poem from the man or not, THE GREAT MADAME RED, shall expel the world's gossip. Be prepared to split you sides!" the satisfaction of her words sent her mousy butler into a beaming admiration.
" So I was -beep-, and he was -beep- but we were just going to -beep- and she said that I should -beep- but he -beep-." the Undertaker covered his ears in protest.
The ever quite silky butler had remained quite till now, before releasing his grip on Ciel's ears. Apparently the so called "carmine dutches" "joke" was not child friendly.
" Well...then...I suspect that my dear...Earl is all that is left?" the retired Shinigami smiled devilishly, swinging his hips in a happy motion.
Before the man could lay even one cold finger on the child's shoulder; the slick butler had stepped forward, his hand's busy pulling down one of his gloves.
Ciel's eyebrows raised, he hadn't told or given an order....could he possible make this silly man crack a laugh?
"It is time. I will continue." the tone was soft and demanding; Sebastian's bloody orbs stationary on the funeral man's humble cloth hat.
"Oh...is it your turn now?"his diabolical grin grew.
" All of you. Go outside, you must remain there and under absolutely no circumstances may you look inside." the handsome butler's tone was threatening, his eyes barren.
Madame Red puffed out her bottom lip but grudgingly tugged her manservant behind her. The oriental, and lastly the young master waded back through the mess of the room; closing the door tightly behind them.
Smiling ever so menacingly, Sebastian moved closer making sure that the others had obeyed his request. Positive that no one was peeking; the glossy handyman began to back the Undertaker against the coffin in which he had first made his appearance.
Within seconds the demon had slipped both of his whitely gloved hands onto the Undertaker's waist and up underneath his armpits.
Tensing from the sudden intrusion, the Undertaker whimpered slightly. Quickly and swift the butler's hands massaged and pressed the spots of peak beneath the gray haired male's pits.
In almost a whisper, the Undertaker's lips formed a perfect "O" his mouth crinkling into a horrendous guffaw. The tickle was deliberate, almost violent but those wonderful fingers kneaded and brushed the sensitive flesh blow the giggling mortician's shoulders.
Sebastian mentally sighed, a lucky shot that the goofy Undertaker was so ticklish. Backing away from the shivering male, Sebastian simply watched as the Shinigami howled in laughter; his body shaking with tremors from his heavy titter. Falling over atop a slightly cluttered table, the Undertaker drooled and cooed at his aching sides.
Outside, the rickety sign had fallen from it's hinges, as the Undertaker's chortle surprised and somewhat frightened the others.
Bursting through the doors, Madame Red, Lau, Grell, and even the modest Ciel stood in dismal at the overturned Undertaker and the shrugging Sebastian.