Disclaimer: I lied. It's in chapter one.

And then… SUDDENLY… AN EPILOGUE! This was meant to be a tiebreaker for the contest, but I lost before I even had a chance to see the outline because of Internet issues. I'm still using the outline but ignoring the word count, and I've rewritten all the previous chapters to be a little longer and generally more tightly edited. So, enjoy!

---

How many years have passed since then? How many ships have I had and lost, nakama that I've had by my side and left? The years are long and an old man's mustaches get long with them. I might have been a captain for a while, but there had been times I was forced to be a cabin boy again to other ships. I traveled through every status of pirate one can imagine while still being a chef in each and every crew I was in.

I got to the point where I felt I had enough strength to go into the Grand Line myself. I was reaching the age where most men had settled down with a wife, bought a cradle and hired a midwife, and lived their lives out in a little shack on land, and indeed saw many men go down that path if the seas didn't claim their bodies first. I couldn't really see myself settling down—as nice as some women are—before I found the All Blue, and I had an inkling I'd be too over-the-hill to try after I either succeeded or gave up my ambition. And the sea tried more than once to claim my life. A pirate or a Marine was no problem for me; I was Red Leg Zeff, after all. But when I had gotten stranded by the elements without food or water… so many times… so many times I wished…

But I had the money and the clout to have a respectable crew, so I did just that. I was captain and chef again, and I took to the Grand Line in hopes that I could find that great sea. My crewmen, good fighters and sailors though they were, and easy to get along with (once you know them), didn't know where my ambitions lie, assumed it had to do with the One Piece, for Gold Roger had died by that point, and jumped on board with visions of gold and jewels in their heads.

We didn't succeed in anything except making our names that much more notorious. They didn't get One Piece, even while they did manage to plunder many ships and villages, and I didn't get to that sea I had so longed to find. It crushed my heart a little, I think. Even while I left the Grand Line with a stance of victory for surviving, I felt old with a little of my life wasted. Had I really succeeded in anything I'd wanted?

"Doing this sort of work…" Brumley growled from where he kneeled on the deck. He threw his cloth into the bucket of soapy, dirty water he'd been cleaning with and leaned back, intending to rest his head on a coil of hemp rope. He met with my foot instead.

"Don't you start slacking off on me," I growled, "Just because we're out of the Grand Line doesn't mean you can shirk your duties!"

"But I'm first mate now, right?" Brumley complained, rubbing his black-whiskered chin and peering at me with the childish eyes that said "I don't wanna…", "Shouldn't swabbing the deck go to someone else?"

"When you become king, then you tell me that you don't want to clean up." I lightly nudged him back to sitting up with that foot, implying with a quirk in the gesture that I could have punted his head like a football if I wanted instead. "But for now, you'll scrub till your hands become raw!"

He frowned and leaned forward to retrieve his cloth. "Aye aye, captain."

"And change that water! What use is it cleaning the deck if the water you use is filthy!"

"I know, I know!"

There was a blow of a whistle, and my attention was brought on a passing ship with a different Jolly Roger. We were being hailed. I knew the ship, and I knew that they weren't going to attack us. I gave the motion to pull up along side.

The captain looked over at me with a smug grin on her butterface. "If it isn't the man who fell for me but dumped me for the Grand Line. It's been a while, Zeff."

"I didn't fall for you. I just had a mild infatuation which had me bashing my head against my desk later on." I gave a shrug, but those weren't pleasant memories. "Anyway, you seem to be healthy, Catarina."

"That's 'New Moon Hunter' to you, Red Leg. I'll be going to the Grand Line myself, soon. You have any tips for me?"

"Yeah. Don't ram your ship into anything. Is that all you hailed me over for?"

"You make me tired," she said with a sigh, "Can't I talk to my dear old Zeff after his long haul through the most dangerous ocean in the world?"

"The feeling is mutual… on the tired part anyway." I turned to my men. "Who do I have to butter up to get some coffee around here?" A slight nostalgic pain hit—something about what I had just said reminded me of a burly gangster from my youth—and I laughed. "On second thought, nevermind. None of you can make a decent cup, even though I always tell you how to do it right."

"You're still offensive to everyone, I see," she mused.

"Once again, mutual," I shot back.

"Hey captain!" I heard a shout from the crow's-nest. "I see a cruise ship coming up!"

I shrugged and looked at Catarina. "You mind…?"

"No, no. Go ahead and take them." She turned away. "Consider it our your homecoming present from us to let you take them yourselves. Besides, there's a storm on the horizon."

She went along her way, so I took my position at the helm and crossed my arms. "Get to the cruise ship!"

"Aye, aye, sir!"

The occupation went quick. It was really surprising how much a little trip through the Grand Line will make people just roll over and play opossum.

"Red Leg Zeff? What do you want from us?"

"Take over! Take all the treasure!"

Swords flashed. Women screamed. Gold glittered.

"Captain," Brumley said back to me, "We need to hurry before the storm hits us!"

"I know."

But even still, some of my men lacked discipline. I even had to beat up Elkins when he tried to steal their food, even though they should've had enough table manners from sailing with me by now to know better. But still, it was easy. It was the same old motive.

"What are you doing, you little brat?!"

Now that old phrase was nostalgic to hear.

"Hey kid, it's dangerous to play with knives. See? I'm bleeding now."

"SHUT UP!"

"No, Sanji! Don't fight them!"

"Kid! Don't annoy them!"

"Do something! He's a member of your crew!"

"Sanji! Step aside! Step aside!"

Children really don't have any manners these days. I turned to him. "Kid! Do you want to die? I'll help you!"

"Who wants to die? You'll kill us anyway, right?" He had two cutting knives that I'd never let leave the kitchen even in a desperate situation like this, but he was just a kid and didn't know any better. "So I better kill you first!"

Just a stupid kid. Like those ones I so easily took care of on a hundred ships before this. Like those ones I had to kick out of the way when they futilely tried to protect their fathers from getting the thrashing for not paying up Thom. So I kicked him away, just like one of those kids and knew he wouldn't get up to bother me again. The knife flew in the air, and he was thrown into the nearest pile wooden box that broke from the hit.

"Sanji!"

"He beat that kid up!"

"He has no mercy at all!"

Of course I don't have any mercy. I'm a pirate.

I didn't expect another motion at my feet. The kid had managed to get up enough to literally bite my ankles. A persistent little insect…

"I have a dream! …One day, I will find All Blue!"

"Wait, what? What did you just say?"

I thought I had spoken, but it seems I was silent because everyone was still talking around me like I hadn't. I don't think the expression on my face had even changed. Just how long have I been a hardened pirate, anyway?

My men burst into laughter. "All Blue? What a stupid dream!"

"Why don't you tell him, Captain! Even in the Grand Line there's no such place!"

They were right. And this kid needed to learn a little bit about life, so I kicked him again. Though the hostages gasped, they didn't scream for his name anymore. Kid should have realized he was alone by this point.

But still flat on his back, he continued to rebel. "I won't allow a cold-blooded pirate like you kill me in a place like this!"

Weird, why did this kid seem familiar to me? I never met him before.

"Let's go, Captain!" Brumley called me out of my daze, "The storm is coming faster than we thought!"

"Okay. Bring all the treasure to our ship."

Just like Brumley warned, the sea surged at us, and it swept up across the cruise deck. This was getting really bad. At this rate, our ships wouldn't—"SANJI!"

"Eh?!"

"Captain?!"

My reflexes are quick and my legs are strong. The mast went down with only one hit and fell. I grabbed it as I dived towards the ocean and cursed, ready to take the torrent of waves head-on. "Stupid brat!"

I heard Brumley's and everyone else's voices behind me. "Captain?! Why are you helping that kid?!"

The hell if I know.

"CAPTAIN!"

Waves crashed around me. A tide taller than both ships combined swept up. So many memories. Everything hasn't all passed just yet, has it? The song isn't over, yet.

The ragtime just looped back around to a different soloist.