Best Reporter We've Ever Had

by Todd "Scoops" Ming

A parody of "Best I Ever Had" by Drake

Transcripted for Those Outside The City by Michael Burmeister

DISCLAIMERS: I don't own WordGirl, PBS Kids Go! and Soup 2 Nuts do. And I don't own "Best I Ever Had," Drake does (as do Young Money Entertainment, Cash Money Records, and Universal Republic Records). So nobody sue me (it'll drag through the courts for years, I haven't got a lawyer, and besides, they have half the money in the world, I barely have any).

So sit back, relax, and enjoy Scoops rap (and sing!)

[INTRO]

You know a lot of kids on the Daily Rag be thinkin' the reader acclaim is geared towards them.

This is not to get it confused-this praise is for me!

[CHORUS PT. 1]

Scoops you are our everything, all the school's ever wanted,

Now we gettin' real big, bigger than we've ever done it,

You be up on all the leads, other staff ain't eva on it,

We want this forever, but the Times gon' pick you up we know it,

'Cause you hold us down everytime we need a buzz,

When we get our break we promise that you get a Pulitzer,

You get the best stories for the page on front,

And they say the same thing every single time,

[CHORUS PT. 2]

We say you're the paper's best,

You're the paper's best,

You're the paper's best,

You're the paper's best,

You're the best we've ever had,

Best we've ever had,

Best we've ever had,

Best we've ever had,

We say you're the paper's...

[VERSE 1:]

Know the Big City Times got it, call me when they can't be seen,

Beeper rings under my hat and you know I'll be on the scene,

Yup, I'll be on the scene, city I'll be on the scene,

I'll be snappin' all the crime scenes, even those by Steve McClean,

Ha...and you don't even gotta call twice,

Once I whip that camera out you'll be in for the big slice,

Before me all the Rag did was flower shows and dog hikes,

Now the sales are up, my school can now afford the mountain bikes,

Facts, no bias, to the beat I am a cataclysm,

Even though I'm Asian, I don't do yellow journalism,

City is in trouble, cue the Rag's all-time simple decision,

Favorite news I run is when WordGirl takes today's crook to prisonnn,

'Cause then the lotus in my soul it blooms,

Then they pay attention to the heroes of the printing room,

And until I get the call-up,

I remain the focus of the "roll-up," 'cause...

[CHORUS]

[VERSE 2:]

Dr. 2Brains got the silliest of lead-ins,

Plots so much to extort us of our cheeses,

Butcher's on the spot, I know his name's a double-meaning,

And Chuck the Evil Sandwich Making Guy holds us up with seasoning,

Mr. Big, Granny May both masters of deception,

Tobey dreams to serve our hero ice cream confection,

Plot to tear apart the city, so we all be stirred up,

But you know they're doomed soon as they hear that motto "WOORRD UP!"

She the source of all my le-ads,

This a puzzle, looking for the missing pie-ce,

Who's the girl behind the helmet?

Something tells me she could be one of my classmates,

Yeah...Maybe she even has a crush on me,

That'll be my biggest story, solve this baffling myst'ry,

When I find it out, that's gonna really make their eyes pop,

Thought it was good now? Well, with that lead-in, it'll be JACKPOT!

[CHORUS - Pt. 2 done twice]

[OUTRO]

Oh...Oh yeah!

Yeah, that would be the type of beat that would REALLY make me somebody!

I'd be a real special somebody!

Daily Rag...

Yeah...

We don't know who she is...But I'll solve it!