Learning curve

By Angelwings9

Warnings: non-con, whump for the boys

Slash: do we have a special way of referring to Merlin/Arthur slash? Merther perhaps lol

Words: 3190

Spoilers: just season one

Summary: while out on a hunting trip Merlin & Arthur are attacked, beaten and one of them is raped. I'm sick, I know.

xxx

It had started as such a good day too, thought Arthur with regret. His morning had mostly consisted of ordering Merlin around, eating a scrumptious breakfast of fried sausages, eggs and potatoes, rounded off nicely, with some light banter. He'd decided to go hunting for the afternoon.

There was an area of the forest that his people were concerned about, they thought robbers and thieves were lying in wait to steal their crops and daughters. Arthur figured if the people saw him there, they'd be less afraid. Besides, he thought ruefully, if he caught the bandits, his father would be pleased. Possibly, even proud; Arthur dared to let hope flutter in his breast.

They had set off, on horseback, mid-afternoon. No sense in getting up too early, after all what's the point of being crown prince if you can't have a lie in occasionally? Arthur smiled to himself when he saw Merlin struggling to mount his steed. Sighing emphatically, Arthur strolled over to his manservant.

"What are you doing, Merlin?" He said, a smirk just sneaking into the corners of his well formed mouth.

"I'm trying… whoa…" the horse moved, "trying to mount this, this untrained beast!" Merlin's foot got caught in the stirrup and he slipped. Arthur caught him and rolled his eyes.

"How you have survived this long is a mystery, Merlin, it really is! You should have died of incompetence years ago!" reaching down, without thinking, Arthur gave Merlin a leg up, and then proceeded to secure the saddle.

Confused, Merlin said, "Er… thanks, sire."

Arthur, obviously remembered himself then, looked around sheepishly and replied, "Yes, well, it's not everyone who gets helped onto their horse by me, you know." He leaned closer and whispered, "And if you tell anyone, I'll put you in the stocks myself!"

"Yes, sire," Merlin winked, a knowing look in his pretty eyes.

They travelled north, chatting happily about court and knight stuff along the way. As always, Arthur led the conversation but, equally as always, he allowed Merlin to voice his opinions too. He really wasn't as stupid as he appeared. They tied the horses up on the edge of the forest, and taking their hunting gear, walked through bramble and dense greenery, listening for something to kill.

Arthur's keen hunter's eyes pierced the shadows, searching. Beside him, Merlin was listening for danger. It was hard for him to listen to one thing in the forest, magic was, after all, natural and the trees and animals whispered to each other in languages he couldn't understand. Mostly, he was overwhelmed.

A whistle cut through the air and Arthur yelped in pain. "Arthur!" screamed Merlin as another arrow flew overhead. Without a thought for his own safety, Merlin threw Arthur to the ground, using himself as a human shield.

"Touched though I am by your foolish attempts to protect me, Merlin, get off so I can go fight," said Arthur testily, trying to shove his manservant off him.

"Your hurt," exclaimed Merlin,

"Yes, I am, and unless you want us both dead, get the hell off!" reality sinking in somewhat, Merlin rolled off and crouched down beside Arthur.

He tried to see their attackers, to hear branches breaking, but all the commotion had left the forest all a flutter. The birds flew and squawked, the trees whispered intensely; it was little wonder he never heard the man behind him, until it was too late. The blow struck him hard, across the cheekbone and Merlin went down. His head struck a rock, hidden by moss and fallen leaves. Before he blacked out, he heard Arthur scream his name and felt something indefinably warm and fuzzy.

Arthur swore and shouted when Merlin was hit, he fought their attackers with all his might, but even the great Arthur Pendragon could not best six armed men. They had him on his knees in the mud. Blood trickled down his face and dripped in his eye. They beat him for no reason he could think off. Two held his arms, outstretched, while the others took it in turns to punch and kick him. He was sure he'd broken at least two ribs. It wasn't for himself that he struggled. He was desperate to check on Merlin, his friend hadn't moved a muscle since he'd gone down, nearly an hour ago, by Arthur's calculations.

Almost like he'd heard Arthur's silent plea, Merlin roused. He groaned, opened his eyes and spoke his sire's name, "Arthur...?"

His voice was weak and feeble, "Arthur...?" he tried again. Arthur wished he'd shut up. If the thugs noticed he was awake… ah, too late.

"Hey, look, the little ones awake! Come on, wake up for your master!" they roughly grabbed Merlin's hair and he yelped in pain, dried blood cracked and flaked as he opened his mouth wide.

"Leave him alone!" the prince bellowed.

Merlin's eyes were wide with fear and concern when he saw his sire, kneeling in the dirt, looking like he'd gone three rounds with a griffin- and lost. "Arthur! What have they done to you? Are you alright?" he babbled.

Arthur willed him to be silent but Merlin never was good at taking orders. "How dare you do this?! If you so much as touch him again…!"

"You'll do what, little one?" nice one, Merlin, thought Arthur, just couldn't keep your moth shut could you?

If it were at all possible, Merlin's face went even whiter. Arthur saw something flicker in his eyes, but it was gone like lightening and Arthur wondered if he'd imagined it. For the first time, in a very long time, Merlin was terrified. He couldn't use magic to get them out of this. If he did, Arthur would *have* to give him to Uther, who'd hang him, and then where would their combined destiny be? In hell, that's where.

He'd have to get out of this the best way he knew. Get the bandits to focus on him and then Arthur can go for help. Or better yet kill them when they're not looking. As plans go, this one was pretty much in the gutter to start with but it was all he had.

"Look, you… you, fat Prat, I may not be a big roughy, toughy guy like you, but… but at least I don't need my friends to hold my enemies down while I hit them! You're a coward! Too afraid to fight the great Arthur like a man!"

"Merlin!" Arthur couldn't believe what he was seeing. His servant was actually taunting the bloke! When Merlin winked in his direction, Arthur understood. The fool was going to get himself killed, just to save his sire a beating.

"Merlin stop it!" a boot in his face shut the prince up. He fell backwards onto soft, damp earth, too weak to really do anything but watch. He watched as they beat Merlin the same way they'd beaten him, except he hadn't goaded them. He hadn't continued to rain a hail of abuse at his captors as they continued to hit him harder and harder and harder. He couldn't watch this but he felt a duty to Merlin. Merlin suffered for him, if he looked away, if he closed his eyes he was betraying that sacrifice.

When they held him down, face first in the mud, Merlin wished Arthur would look away. He saw his masters eyes go wide as he realised his friend's fate. "No, no, please don't do this! He doesn't know what he's saying," Arthur begged; a new experience for him, and just as unpleasant as he'd always suspected.

"Please, don't do this!" another boot in the head.

A lone tear rolled down Merlin's dirt streaked face and something inside Arthur died. He mirrored Merlin, a tear careening down his cheek. Merlin felt pressure at his opening as the man gripped his hips and lined himself up. There was no where to go, not escape he could use. If he used magic it was all over; he couldn't let that happen. His destiny was much more important. He went rigid with pain and a moan escaped his lips. Arthur couldn't take it, "Stop it, stop it, please," he was rewarded with a kick in the ribs this time. He curled himself up and forced himself to look back at his friend's plight.

Merlin bit his lip to keep from crying out when the monstrous man thrust inside him. He held Arthur's gaze and accepted the gratitude and comfort those expressive, pale, blue eyes offered. As the man above him- in him- thrust in and out, in and out, Merlin's face was pushed repeatedly into the dirt. The fiery pain from before had subsided and Merlin was shocked to find that the relief was because he was bleeding, his blood was providing lubricant. He felt sick. He tasted blood in his mouth and the realisation came too late that he'd bitten through his lip. He felt a rush of warm, wetness and almost cried; it was almost over.

Arthur watched as Merlin was abused, watched him crying silently, saw when he bit through his own lip to keep from crying out. He couldn't quite believe that Merlin was going through this *for him*. Arthur felt a surge of love and pride when he looked at his manservant – no, he was much, much more than that- his friend.

The six men, who had stumbled upon a new toy, cleared the scene at a run. With one final glance back, Hendric shouted, "The tightest fuck I've ever had, my prince – I'm sure you'll enjoy him too!"

Arthur crawled over to where Merlin lay, half naked and quivering like a leaf. He reached down and covered his friend as best he could, wincing the entire time. Arthur reached across and pulled Merlin to him. He resisted at first like a frightened child, huddling in on himself. Arthur was persistent and soon Merlin had melted into his embrace, holding on for dear life, shaking so much, Arthur thought he might shatter.

After a time, Merlin fell into a fitful sleep. Arthur stood on shaky legs and went to fetch the horses. He loathed leaving Merlin alone but he couldn't carry him; he could barely stand. He almost wept with relief when the horses were still there. He'd nearly convinced himself they'd be gone. The bandits released them; he didn't tie them properly, a thousand and one scenarios running through his mind. He coaxed his beloved stead to sit so that he could mount him easily. Riding horses with broken ribs is ill advised at best.

When he returned to the thicket, where he'd left Merlin, his friend was shaking visibly from ten feet way. Deftly, Arthur removed his cloak and placed it gently over Merlin. "Merlin..? Can you hear me?" anxiously he stroked dark locks of hair away from his foolish protector's face. "You're so stupid you know that?" he spoke with affection.

Coaxing his horse to its knees once more, Arthur somehow managed to half lift and half drag Merlin onto its back. He covered him over with his cloak, then mounted Merlin's stallion. He trusted Llamrei * to take care of his precious cargo. The road back to Camelot was slow and painful. He couldn't ride particularly fast and *everything* hurt.

Periodically, Merlin would stir and moan in his sleep, and Arthur would curse the robbers once more. He swore to himself, he will see them dead for what they have done. At the castle gates, the duty guards ran for King Uther and Gaius' help. Arthur insisted on walking to his room, he was well enough for that. Uther acknowledged his son's pride and signalled for Merlin to be taken home to be cared for.

"No!" Not so forceful, Arthur, he thought, "no. I think it would be best if Merlin stay in my room. There Gaius can tend to both of us." His father gives him a curious look but couldn't fault the logic,

"Very well, Arthur. Take him to Prince Arthur's room," he instructed. Gaius was clearly very concerned for Merlin's well being. So was Arthur. The guards laid Merlin gently on the four poster bed, as directed, and promptly left. His father wished him a speedy recovery and a conversation in the morning to explain.

The second the door shut, Arthur was by Merlin's side, his hand rebelliously taking Merlin's cold one. "He's freezing; fetch some more blankets, Gaius."

"Yes, sire," Gaius didn't hesitate, he too had felt how chilled Merlin was. He dared a glance back and was intrigued to see the prince showing such blatant emotion. It was safe to say that Gaius was curious to know what had taken place in the forest. Whatever it was, the bond between servant and master had clearly morphed into something significantly more.

Gaius tended to Merlin's wounds as Arthur tried his best to describe the attack. It was hard to listen to. "I… I get the idea, sire. Perhaps you should rest?"

"No, I can't. I won't leave his side until he's alright. He saved me. I owe him this much." Arthur slumped in his chair. His own wounds clean and covered in soft bandages. It was clear that Merlin was not the only one hurt in the brutal attack. In the early hours of the morning, Gaius finally left Prince Arthur's room. Both men were asleep on the bed. Gaius was sure they hadn't even realised they'd done it, but they had automatically sought each other out in their sleep, so that now Arthur was huddled around Merlin, protectively and Merlin clung to Arthur like a limpet.

It broke Gaius' heart to see, Merlin such a strong and good boy, hurting so badly. He was glad Arthur was looking after him… even if Gaius wasn't sure where one man started and the other ended. Not so much two side of a coin, but rather a coin that has been melted in a furnace and fused back into its original state; never to be separated again.

XXX

They'd been home a nail biting two days before Merlin cracked open his eyes. Tentatively he looked around and was rather surprised to find himself not only in Arthur's four poster bed, but also to be ensconded in the most wonderful hug he'd ever received. He looked up at his friend's handsome face, through thick lashes. "Arthur…?" he rasped, then he coughed and strong arms held him tighter.

"Merlin, you're awake. Finally, do you have any idea how long you've made me wait?" Arthur asked, his voice strained, as if it was a struggle for him to remain aloof.

"Sorry… I don't mean… oh." Arthur leaned down and gently kissed Merlin's forehead, then his neck, then his ear, his cheek, his jaw and finally, chastely, his lips. "Er… does this mean… what I meant to say is…"

"Merlin, do shut up." Arthur scootched down in the covers and snuggled with his new lover.

XXX

Arthur felt his lover jerk awake; heard the gasping, the shallow breath and felt the quickened heartbeat. Another nightmare, they'd started about a week after their return. At first they were violent, Merlin would cry out in his sleep, talking gibberish and flaying his arms around. After that it was the late night crying. When he'd hold Merlin tight, wishing he could take the pain as his own, wishing that it had been him. Wishing that his lover wasn't so damn brave.

Now it's the jerking away. Merlin's ashamed of what happened, which is a perfectly reasonable response, but not the correct one. Arthur wished again that it had been him. He wants nothing more that for Merlin to be himself again. To laugh like he used to, to argue with him and tell him he's a Prat, because damn it, he is. He wants the light back in Merlin's sweet eyes. He feels Merlin rise about to leave their bed, "Where are you going?"

"Oh, erm… you're awake. Do you want anything?" Arthur reaches over and pulls Merlin to him. Merlin tries to resist, half-heartedly, and settles back into bed. His head resting on Arthur's naked chest, he can hear his lover's heartbeat.

Arthur strokes soft circles on Merlin's arm, "promise me something?"

"Anything, sire," Merlin practically purrs,

"Tomorrow you'll eat something, okay?"

Eyes lock and the pact was made, "I promise to you, my Arthur Pendragon."

XXX

It was weeks later, when Merlin awoke for the first time to an empty bed, that justice was served. "Arthur..?" since the incident in the forest they had spent every night together. Their relationship was the worst kept secret in the kingdom, but thus far, Uther didn't suspect… or if he did, he didn't care. Merlin decided it was the latter. Uther was many things; stupid, however, he was not.

Merlin ate breakfast alone and by mid-day was fretting. He was about to go in search of Arthur when the man in question strode into the room. There was dried blood on his hands and he was in full armour. "Where have you been? Has there been a battle?"

Arthur washed the blood away as quickly as he could then turned to face his love, "No, I've been back to the forest. It's a safe place for my people once more."

Merlin searches Arthur's face until he found what he was looking for, "never again, Arthur."

"I don't know what you mean."

"Never again take revenge. It is not your destiny. I am here to protect you to ensure you become a great king. How can you be a great king if you take a life because someone you care about got hurt?" he watched as realisation dawned on Arthur's face.

"Oh god, you're right. What have I done?" he stepped back, for the first time afraid of himself.

"You've just learned something important about yourself. You are a better man that you're father; you can see when you're at fault… its part of your charm." Merlin moved forward and held his lovers hand.

"What would I do without you, Merlin." he softly rubbed his loves cheek,

"You'd be an even bigger Prat!"

"Merlin!"

The end

______________________________

* Welsh chronicles mention two names of horses owned by King Arthur. They are in the Tale of Culhwch ac Olwen, which is one of the stories that make up the Mabinogion. They attribute to Arthur a mare called Llamrei (or Llamrai) and another horse called Hengroen.

Later French sources call his horse Passelande.

There are several stones throughout the isle of Britain that claim to bear the hoofprint of Arthur's horse. Though unlikely to be true, they do show the breadth of the Arthurian legends.

Most things Arthur owned seemed to have got a name. The lance was called Ron, his helmet was named Goosewhite and his shield was called Pridwen, which depicted the Virgin Mary.