An Egoist fic! Another will be posted later tonight.

Junjou Romantica is the property of Nakamura Shungiku.

Hiroki's mouth was dry. His hands felt awkward, stiff, as if he had minimal control over what they did. If this had been anyone else beneath him, he was positive that he wouldn't have taken this much care, or time, to make sure that his partner was comfortable.

The fact that he was doing this with Nowaki changed everything.

It wasn't as if he'd had never topped anyone before; he'd done it a good thirty-odd times in his long sexual history, but those times were merely for satisfaction. He'd never felt any deep emotion for any of the one-night stands that he'd had before he'd slept with Akihiko, and even Akihiko hadn't made him feel as strongly as Nowaki did.

This, Hiroki found, made all the difference.

Hiroki cupped Nowaki's face in his hands, kissing the younger man, tongue dipping briefly between Nowaki's parted lips. Nowaki moaned softly, hips jerking upwards against Hiroki before he pulled away briefly to peel off the shirt he was wearing. Hiroki hummed in appreciation, before pushing Nowaki down onto the bed and straddling his hips, crawling over him to graze his teeth against Nowaki's cheekbone, fingers curling into the sheets.

"You're sure about this?" Hiroki asked, and Nowaki smiled.

"I'm sure, Hiro-san."

Hiroki flushed, his grip on the sheet tightening. Nowaki's faith in him was endearing, but it only made him feel more pressured to perform.

"Hiro-san, I want to try this, so please don't feel pressured."

Nowaki could read him like a goddamned book.

Exhaling against Nowaki's neck, Hiroki slid down the younger man's prone body, drawing his tongue along the curve of his collarbone, shuddering as he felt Nowaki flinch. Sliding down further, Hiroki gently teased Nowaki's left nipple with the pad of his thumb.

"Good?" Hiroki questioned, attempting to sound as uninterested as he could but failing miserably. Nowaki would have seen through him anyway...

"Perfect," Nowaki breathed, and Hiroki was sure that his restraint was about to crumble right there and then. He could feel the rise and fall of Nowaki's chest as he breathed, his heartbeat rushing under his fingers. He couldn't feel it, but he was sure Nowaki was already hard, if his own level of arousal was anything to go by. Hiroki suffocated those thoughts and went back to toying with Nowaki's nipples, gently flicking the right one with the tip of his tongue while continuing to tease the left with his fingers.

It wasn't easy to block out the sound of Nowaki's soft, breathy moans and concentrate on what he was doing, but he managed, somehow. Seeing Nowaki in such a state, so prone and turned on, wasn't a common thing for Hiroki, but he decided instantly that he liked it. Giving the younger man's nipples one last tweak - too rough, apparently, because Nowaki cried out a little too sharply - Hiroki moved again, gently running his fingers underneath the waistband of Nowaki's briefs.

"Please," Nowaki said; it wasn't a request, it was almost an order, and Hiroki was more than happy to follow it. Nowaki's voice was still even, controlled; his body language was entirely different. His limbs were shaking just slightly, and his eyes were half-lidded from lust. Hiroki felt his own cock twitch at the sight, and slipped his hand underneath Nowaki's underwear.

Nowaki's cock was hot in his hand, and Hiroki felt a pleasurable shiver run down his spine as Nowaki's hips jerked forward and the younger man hissed his name. Licking his lips slowly, Hiroki slid downwards, taking Nowaki's boxers with him. Discarding them to the floor, Hiroki lay flat on his stomach between Nowaki's legs, gently rubbing Nowaki's erection with the flat of his palm.

"Hiro-san..." Nowaki hissed, and that was more than enough to make Hiroki want more.

Curling his hand around Nowaki, Hiroki began to jerk him off with slow, languid strokes. Nowaki's cock twitched in his hand as he leaned over to slowly tease the head with his tongue, tasting the younger man as he ran the tip of his tongue over the slit and down to the sensitive spot under the head.

Nowaki jerked upwards violently, and Hiroki pulled away sharply.

"Watch it!"

"Sorry, Hiro-san," Nowaki breathed, cheeks flushed, "You're just so amazing."

"Idiot," Hiroki muttered, feeling heat rush to his own cheeks.

Holding the base of Nowaki's cock with his right hand and holding his hips steady with the other, Hiroki slowly took Nowaki's cock into his mouth. He stopped when he'd taken Nowaki as far as he could, and swallowed once, breathing through his nose evenly as Nowaki trembled under his touch. Nowaki was just a little too big for him to take the whole way in, and while something in the back of his mind said he shouldn't have had that much trouble, he'd had bigger once upon a time, he pointedly ignored it. Nowaki had to be in the top ten, at least.

A sharp hiss from Nowaki realised that this was hardly the time to think about his blowjob skills, because Nowaki was enjoying it regardless.

Nowaki's large hand was suddenly on his head, long fingers threading through his hair, and Hiroki was moving again, taking Nowaki's cock into his mouth and to the back of his throat slowly. The leisurely pace didn't last as Nowaki began to thrust his hips upward wantonly, and Hiroki moaned around his lover's erection, getting to his knees and reaching down into his own boxers to stroke at his own cock.

It was good - somewhere far beyond good - but it wasn't enough. After a few more moments Hiroki could feel heat begin to pool in his stomach, and so he stopped, pulling up and giving Nowaki's dick one last quick swipe with his tongue. Removing his hand from his own boxers, he pushed the material down and out of the way, and reached over to the dresser next to the bed. Digging around in the top drawer, he retrieved a tube of lubricant. The end was already curled over on itself many times and Hiroki cursed himself for not remembering to buy more, and hoped that what was left would be enough.

Nowaki had already parted his legs in anticipation, and Hiroki bit down on his tongue to stop himself from moaning.

"Ready?"

Nowaki nodded and bit his lip. Hiroki frowned, and squirted lubrication onto his fingers, smoothing it along both his index, middle and ring fingers. He held Nowaki's right leg steady with his spare hand, and breathed out sharply as he heard Nowaki moan. The first finger went inside with ease, and although Nowaki flinched a little, there was no other sign of discomfort from him. Hiroki moved slowly, patiently, allowing Nowaki to adjust to the intrusion gradually as he gently moved his finger in and out. Hiroki glanced up at Nowaki, who stared back and nodded, and Hiroki slowly inserted two fingers inside, humming low in his throat when Nowaki cried out.

He wasn't sure if it was hurting Nowaki, but he knew that he wanted to make him feel good. Moving his fingers carefully, he began to search for the spot that would drive Nowaki wild, confident that Nowaki's reaction would be enough to tell him if he found it.

After a minute or two of careful movement, Nowaki's body tightened around his fingers and the younger man let out a moan. Hiroki breathed out, licked his dry lips and continued to put gentle pressure on the spot with his fingertips.

"J-just there," Nowaki breathed, reaching down to jerk himself off, and Hiroki moaned and nodded, feeling his own erection ache with wanting. Slipping his fingers out briefly, Hiroki proceeded to press all three fingers inside, the uncomfortable whimper that escaped from Nowaki's lips making his chest ache.

"Nowaki..."

"I'm fine," Nowaki said, squirming a little until he found a more comfortable position, "I trust you, Hiro-san."

Hiroki knew if he thought about what Nowaki said too much it would be his undoing, and so he grunted in response and then reached back over to the dresser to retrieve a condom from the box sitting on top.

He pulled his fingers out of Nowaki and tore open the condom foil with his teeth; Nowaki stared at that, and Hiroki blushed, wondering if he should have made himself look a little less adept at it. Rolling the condom onto his cock, Hiroki looked around for the lubricant, only to find that Nowaki already had it in his hand and was squeezing the remainder into his palm. Hiroki's hips snapped forward when Nowaki touched him, smearing the lube along the length of his cock before falling back against the pillows and parting his legs to accomodate the older man's body.

"Ready?" Hiroki asked, voice sounding strangely rough.

"Yeah," Nowaki breathed, taking hold of Hiroki's cock as his lover came closer, guiding him inside.

Hiroki groaned despite himself; although he was barely inside yet, Nowaki felt ridiculously hot and tight and perfect around his cock, and it made him want to finish right there and then or keep going forever; he wasn't sure which.

"Hiro-san," Nowaki hissed, and Hiroki impulsively leaned forward to kiss Nowaki, tongue briefly running along the younger man's lips before they parted.

"Nowaki," Hiroki murmured, slowly moving until he was halfway inside, "If it hurts..."

"It doesn't," Nowaki affirmed, "Not enough to make me want to stop. Just give me a moment."

Hiroki stilled, his mouth going dry as Nowaki began to stroke his own cock back to full hardness, his body tightening around him as he stroked himself back to arousal.

After a few seconds - seconds that seemed to stretch into months and years - Nowaki nodded, and Hiroki groaned, thrusting shallowly into the tight heat, trying to make sure he pleasured Nowaki at the same time. The younger man was lying back against the bed, eyes shut as if he were concentrating deeply, hand on his own cock, stroking roughly, lips parted was he moaned Hiroki's name softly.

Hiroki moved deeper, and Nowaki cried out, body tightening around Hiroki so violently that he had to stop himself from coming right then. Hiroki leaned back a little, feeling his resolve crumble as he watched Nowaki jerk himself off, smearing precum across the head, all while moaning Hiroki's name.

Hiroki dragged himself forward, leaning over Nowaki's prone body to kiss him roughly, tongues immediately meeting and tangling together. Nowaki suddenly pulled away and cried out, and Hiroki pressed his forehead against Nowaki's cheek, thrusting inside until he was all the way in, Nowaki's body welcoming him in, tightening around his cock until the younger man let out a final moan and fell back against the pillow, cheeks flushed and eyes half-lidded.

It took a moment for Hiroki to notice that Nowaki had come; when the realisation did hit him, he felt heat pool in his stomach, and he thrust sharply into the residual clenches of Nowaki's orgasm. That was enough; a moment later, he came, fingers digging into Nowaki's thighs and pulling the younger man closer.

It took a moment for Hiroki to catch his breath, but once he had, he carefully pulled out of Nowaki, slipped the condom off his softening cock and threw it away. Nowaki was still breathing deeply, as if willing himself to calm. Hiroki tried to remember if he had taken this long to recover the first time he'd had sex, but he couldn't quite remember; 15 years was a long time ago, and he was sure he hadn't enjoyed it nearly as much as Nowaki had just now. It was an oddly satisfying feeling, knowing that he had made Nowaki come, and he reached for the tissue box at the side of the bed, preparing to clean Nowaki off.

"Hiro-san," Nowaki whispered, and before Hiroki could so much as blink, Nowaki had pulled Hiroki into a bone-crushing hug and brought their lips together in a suffocating kiss.

"N-nowaki!" Hiroki spluttered, wiping the back of his mouth with his hand. Nowaki chuckled and held him close.

"That was good."

"... yeah," Hiroki affirmed, shivering when Nowaki began to gently pet his hair.

"I love you."

"Don't say such sappy things, you idiot," Hiroki snapped, cheeks reddening, "Now pull the blanket up, I'm cold."

"Alright," Nowaki said, "I'm going to take a shower."

As Nowaki tucked Hiroki into bed and then left for the bathroom, Hiroki felt guilt rise in his chest, and he slipped out of bed to join his lover. Nowaki didn't look surprised to see him there, and Hiroki frowned.

"Hiro-san?"

Hiroki didn't respond, but stepped into the shower to join his lover. Nowaki looked stunned for a moment, and then smiled.

"Thank you."

Hiroki raised his arms and pulled Nowaki in close, and realised that nothing needed to be said.

END