"Happy Birthday to you," his mum howled the last line of the song like a strangled cat and Vince burst out laughing.

"Yeah, Happy Birthday Howard," he agreed when he'd finally stopped laughing enough to gasp out some breath.

"Thanks," Howard grinned. His mum had darned some socks for him and wrapped them up in brown paper. Vince had made a jumper which was slightly too small for him, though Vince insisted it was the perfect fit. Some of the village had offered presents as well.

The baker had made a small cake and the woman at the shop had offered a small piece of chocolate and the landlord of the pub found a small bottle of whiskey for him. It hadn't been a bad birthday considering.

"Right," Mrs Moon said, clapping her hands together brightly. "I'll pour some drinks and cut the cake."

The door shut and Vince grinned at Howard.

"Enjoying you're birthday old man?"

"I'm not that old."

"You're officially an adult now. Hey, does that make you officially a paedophile if I do this?" he grinned, running over and planting a kiss on Howard's lips.

"Get off me," he groaned, shoving him away hard. Vince didn't mind. He knew that later, behind closed doors, Howard would be apologetic and loving; he'd just have to wait. So, for now, Vince contented himself with slumping at Howard's feet and leaning against his leg.

Mrs Moon returned a second later with three slices of cake and a thimble of whiskey for herself and her son. Vince had to watch on as Howard supped the brown liquid. Not that he felt he'd missed out. He'd tasted whiskey before. It had burnt his throat and stomach and made his insides feel like they were on fire. He'd run around screaming and yelling, demanding water immediately. Howard hardly flinched.

"Happy Birthday Howard," Vince grinned, through a mouthful of cake.

And it had been a happy birthday, all things considered. It had certainly got better when his mother had stopped moaning about how much of a shame it was that Jenny wasn't there.

"It didn't work out mum," Howard would repeat over and over again but his mother wasn't really listening. She didn't really care what she had to say on the matter but then again, he didn't care what she had to say about it either.

His birthday had improved even more later that evening when he and Vince had strolled out to the old oak tree, hand in hand… well, almost. They were so close their hands kept brushing together but no one would know. They didn't say much that evening. Well, that's not strictly true. Vince said a lot but none of it meant anything, not really. It was just mad theories on how dogs were trying to take over the world by sending messages with their tails and why squirrels were evil and the best way to catch a frog with nothing but a piece of string and a yoghurt pot. Howard just let the words wash over him, catching enough of them now and again to know he was still talking nonsensical poetry. He liked to let them drone out reality, the impending reality that would drop onto his doormat in the next few days, the reality that would change his life.

--

The brown envelope thudded onto the floorboards just like any other letter. It's writing wasn't particularly interesting. The stamp wasn't exotic. It was, after all, just a letter. Howard picked it up and opened it. He didn't need to read much to recognise the official print. 'Howard Moon'; '…chosen to represent your country…'; '… honour and privilege…'; '…proud to serve your country…'.

--

"Hey," Vince said softly as he opened the door to their shared bedroom. "You're mum said you'd be here. Can I come in?"

Howard made a little noise that could have meant either response so Vince, ever the optimist, walked over to him. Howard was led out on the bed. The letter was still held limply between his fingers and he was staring ahead at the ceiling. He seemed somehow lost.

"You okay?" Vince asked. It was a stupid question really but he had to start somewhere. Howard didn't respond. "Because," Vince continued, "I know you're terrified of going to war. You don't have to be brave and pretend you can't wait. Not in front of me. This is when you get to be yourself, yeah?"

Again, Howard didn't react.

"Howard?"

The older boy still said nothing. He felt the bed dip a little as Vince sat down but he still didn't talk. What was he supposed to say? He liked to think he was strong and indestructible. His mum liked to think he was too and so he'd keep up the façade but Vince was always pulling it down and Howard hated it. He hated the way Vince would peel away his tough outer-tortoise shell and prod at the fleshy belly beneath. Howard liked to hide behind his own lies.

"Howard?" Vince tried again. He was ignored. Vince's head had found its was to Howard's chest and his nose was pressed against the underside of the older boy's chin. Howard knew he must look funny from that angle; all nose and chin. Vince didn't seem to mind. He just sighed contentedly.

"You know," he whispered eventually, "I think I might love you Howard."

The words scolded Howard a little. He didn't want to hear them. Not now. Not on top of going to war. Now he felt he didn't just want to survive this, he needed to, for Vince. He couldn't put Vince through what he'd gone through when his dad had died and Vince had already lost too many people.

"Howard?" Vince whispered. His voice was whiney and high-pitched, just like it always was when he wanted attention.

"How-aaaaaaard," he whined, "stop ignoring me."

Howard didn't say anything. He had nothing to say, he wrapped his arm around Vince and held him close before closing his eyes. There was nothing to be said.

--

Vince was grumpy the next morning. Unsurprisingly. Howard did make half an effort to talk to him but he wasn't having it. Vince left the house claiming he was going to school but Howard had watched him walk in the wrong direction to the bridge. Always to the bridge. Howard sighed. He wished life were easier.

All he wanted to do was stand on the rooftops and scream about how he was a massive gay about how much he loved Vince but that wasn't practical. He could be arrested or killed or sent to certain camps to man-him-up. He'd heard about them in the stories Billy used to tell.

He went to find Vince later that afternoon. He took the remainder of his birthday cake as a piece offering.

"You know, I don't think we should get too attached in case…"

"Shut up," Vince warned through a mouthful of cake. "I don't want to hear anything about the damned war."

"Right." Howard agreed, kicking at a stone with his foot.

"The war isn't there. It hasn't taken everything I knew and everyone I loved," he almost shouted the last word to get his point across, "away from me and you're not scared of leaving me and your mum to fend for ourselves."

"Right," Howard nodded. He wished he could slip so easily into this fake world that Vince was creating.

"Now," Vince said, his fingers creeping to find Howard's wrapping them up together, "I love you."

Howard looked up at the younger boy. His eyes were a little shiny, like he was trying not to cry and his face was strained from the effort of not saying something more."What's wrong?" Howard asked.

"Can you please just say it back?" Vince begged. His steady, calm outer-shell cracking. "Please."

"I don't want to."

"Why?"

"Because I can't guarantee I'll come back."

"I'm not asking you to tell me you'll come home again. I'm just asking you to tell me you love me."

"But it'll hurt twice as much."

"I don't care. I love you." Vince tried again.

"Vince … I can't," Howard choked. His words drowning in sympathy.

"Don't." Vince said as he shifted away from Howard. He didn't want to talk to him anymore. The conversation wasn't brought up again. It was too painful for both of them so, instead, they concentrated on the week they had together rather than the potential lifetime they had apart.

They walked around the village like two best mates.

"Close as brothers them two," people would say. They'd never know the truth about just how close they were. No one would. That was saved for quiet moments under the oak tree, times at the brig and when they were locked in their bedroom.

The week flew by, just like they both knew it would and the night before Howard was due to leave, they were both completely unable to sleep. They just led in the darkness not saying a word. They clung on to each other as thought their lives were ending and that's how it felt. Vince could feel Howard's heart beating in his chest, playing a tune against his ear drum. Howard could feel Vince's eyelashes blinking against his chest. He could hear him sniffing every now and again. He knew Vince was trying not to cry but Howard couldn't stop the silent tears that were rolling down his face. He wanted to say something meaningful. He wanted to make it better but he knew he couldn't. Vince's grip on his body was so hard, Howard thought his delicate skin would bruise but he didn't care. If anything he wanted to drag him closer but it was impossible. The night seemed to last forever. But, as the birds sang and the sun peeked through the curtains, forever came to an end.

They got up like it was any other day. They ate porridge, well, they tried to, both of them left most of it. They got dressed. Vince into his slightly too fitted shirt and his trousers that were just a little clinging to his bottom. Howard put on his uniform. Mrs Moon sobbed when she saw him. She took a few photo's. Image after image of Howard stood in front of the house next to the front door and one of Howard and Vince both forcing smiles at the camera. They were both proud after all.

The train whistled loudly and thick black smoke filled the air and filled their lungs. This was it. Howard was leaving. The train chugged melodically away and Vince stood next to Mrs Moon waving as it went. He couldn't cry. He was a man after all and he was only losing a friend. He couldn't be seen to weep and he had to console Mrs Moon.

--

They'd hugged on that platform, just like all the other best friends, but what was special was the hot, breathy whisper in Vince's ear;

"Wait for me. I love you."

So there you have it ... s'all over!! =O
Also ... three updates in one night!! C'mon me! Lol. That's rapid updating for SHO! Making up for the neglect i've shown you all. I can only apologise for that!!

THANK YOU SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH for everyone who's reviewed this! AND THANK YOU EQUALLY FOR READING!! I love you all as much as a girl can love someone she's met on ! lol.

Thanks again!!
Hayley...xx