This is a fan-fiction I released under an alias as a test run for writing yuri. I lost the editing and part of the last Chapter when I closed down that account (apologies to those that had added it as a favourite & reviewed) so am working on submitting the re-edited Chapters and re-done 6th Chapter, which I'll again post separately as an M rated epilogue. It's set before Chapter 252 of Negima! came out (which is one of the most awesome manga Chapters I've ever read! :D), so isn't exactly in step with the manga but is a sweet story anyways and worth re-uploading - although I may later do another KonoxSetsu more in line with the current manga.

Disclaimer: I don't own Mahou Sensei Negima! but love the job Ken Akamatsu has done in creating one of the most loveable yuri pairings ever!

Memories

The first light of dawn crept across the floating city of Ostia turning the darkness to gold and probing all but the deepest corners of the city. Among the places the regal light entered, passing through a pair of small square windows, was an upper room at The Green Dragon inn. There it stretched and spread until it reached the slumbering figures of two young girls.

One lay sprawled across her bed with her curving form, clad in a thin white nightdress, enmeshed among white linen sheets: Wildly beautiful. In contrast the other girl slept on top of her still well ordered sheets, her tomboy figure not traditionally beautiful as such but definitely attractive. She still wore her day clothes: A half unbuttoned white shirt revealing a functional white bra beneath and loose, dark trousers. As fugitives in a strange place she felt she needed to be ready to defend her charge at any minute; usually she'd have left the shirt fully buttoned but had succumbed to the sultry night-time warmth.

At the first gentle touch of light from the ivy curtained window Setsuna stirred and opened her eyes. Outside a couple of brown feathered, blue beaked chanooks gave low pitched, gurgling cries as they heralded the beginning of a new day. Propping herself up with her left arm Setsuna blinked the sleep from her eyes and focused at once on Konoka's slumbering frame, adjusting itself slightly before settling down, looking no less disorganised than before. Setsuna's eyes lingered a second longer than they should have but quickly shifted as her mind drifted into uncomfortable territory. Instead she turned her attention to examining their surroundings to ensure they were exactly as they'd left them the night before.

The room was cosy with beds against the right and left walls and a metre wide chest of draws wedged between them, covered with a large white tablecloth and a spherical glass glow lamp. Two small, square windows sat within the dark wooden walls above their beds. A sink stood upon the light, rough wooden floor against the wall opposite the windows near the foot of her bed whilst a plain rectangular mirror hung on the wall near the foot of Konoka's. The door was a plain but solid affair, standing between the sink and mirror with a brass bar fixed across it. Above, the ceiling was formed from light wooden boards intersected by twisted, thick, dark beams. The bathroom was outside at the end of the corridor.

Sitting up Setsuna gave a nod of satisfaction noting that none of her traps had been tampered with. It's a functional place at best…but for outlaws like us it's perfect – not too prestigious but secure and easy to examine.

A sigh of contentment jerked her head round to see Konoka stir and roll her body over towards her, the light from the window giving it a heavenly glow. This time she couldn't suppress her train of thoughts from before. She looks like an angel: So smooth, so curving and so beautiful. Her face, her figure, her lips...her... Setsuna felt her face turn bright red and her heartbeat rocket, something that was becoming an all too regular occurrence. Reluctantly and desperately she tried to shift her thoughts, feeling guilty and dirty inside. Her hands moved automatically as her head turned away, slipping her sword from its scabbard, attached to her left thigh, and taking a cloth from her other pocket.

She began polishing the already gleaming sword, a habit she had developed when she was much younger to allow her mind time and space to think over the new day. Just one of the many habits I devised to get myself through each day, back then – and old habits die hard. Try as she might though she couldn't concentrate on the day ahead without the ghostly image of Konoka lying spread-eagled in that white nightdress forming and so she settled for trying, yet again, to make sense of the impossible dilemma she found herself to be in.

Since when did I start thinking about her in this way? As more than just an amazing person and friend but also as someone I found so attractive? Who I wanted to be more than just friends with? Was it when she took that age pill and looked 17 in those tight jeans and figure-hugging top?

This imagery quickly led to the bright red flush returning so she reluctantly skipped on as her right hand slid systematically back and forth along the sword blade with the cloth. Maybe that helped me realise it but it was probably growing subconsciously long before…perhaps at cinema village...or earlier still. Oh! It's so confusing! Am I losing control of my mind? Would it have been better not to have become close again? Setsuna possessed a fairly logical, systematic mind which she was secretly proud of and so her thoughts naturally took her back to the time it all started, the time when she and Konoka became childhood friends.

I was brought up with a life so full of rules, always told I had to protect her. In truth if I hadn't been introduced to her I would have lost my childhood altogether. I was so nervous on that day. I'd never met another child my own age before then, as it was thought that it would interfere with my training...I peered out from behind my mum and there she was, smiling!...And in that smile I felt my world explode with colour because she accepted me! After that I was allowed to play with her for an hour each day and I treasured each and every one. That the person my whole life had centered around should be so accepting, so fun and so kind! I would have done anything to save her life even then. Indeed I tried so hard to on that fateful day that tore us apart for so long...

The water came up so high! So fast! I remember Konoka losing her balance. Was I scared of jumping in after her? I don't think fear for my own safety even entered my mind. I was so blinded by the fear of losing her, my world and my all! The cold icy water wrapped about us. I was clinging to her soft form as I struggled so hard; yelling for help only to get mouthfuls of freezing dirty water, weakening and being drawn down with her into the darkness whilst trying so feebly to hold her up...I couldn't save her! My light! My life! My all! I wasn't strong enough! She would be extinguished because of me!

An involuntary shiver ran down Setsuna's spine. Even now it haunts me. After that I resolved to spend every minute training and becoming stronger so that it wouldn't happen again. Next time there might be no-one else to save her. I let the fear of losing her overtake me. I knew that any time spent in her company would only remind me how weak I'd been. How I wasn't really there for her, so for so many years I bore the burden alone. My life became grey and empty once more, I was like a machine. But of course that wasn't the only reason I took so many steps to avoid her when I transferred into her class at school...

Having finished with the sword she returned it to the scabbard and put away the cloth. Then she moved her right arm over her shoulder to feel the two unnatural, smooth protrusions sloping down her back. As her hands ran over the slopes she remembered the pain she'd felt within when her tutor, Yuki, had coaxed out the wings during one of their sessions. Getting her to imagine the feeling of flying and soaring among the clouds.

It itched at first and then I felt something ripple from my back in a soft fluid motion, tearing off my top! I was so scared! I remember running from his shouts to find a mirror. When I saw them I couldn't believe it. I was horrified! Somewhere deep down I must have still hoped against hope that at least on some level me and Konoka could come together again; that she'd still accept me even if we could no longer play together, but the wings shattered that completely. I was a FREAK! A mutant...an abomination. There was no hope of being loved and especially not by her, the one I'd let down. I couldn't face her. The guilt and the shame walled me from her. Her hand remained fixed on one of the lumpy protrusions as a tear threatened her left eye but she found herself moving onto happier times and the familiar warm feeling associated with them began blossoming in her chest.

Somehow she broke down all the barriers I'd set up. She was so accepting of me despite the way I'd treated her. I was so cold, how could I of been? She kept pressing after me. Always trying to understand me better and better, how could I hold her off? She eroded my resistance like the tide against a barrier of stone. And finally when she saw my wings that I'd hidden from everyone, that barrier burnt so deep into my soul, she crushed it with a single sentence. In the clear night sky with the stars shining all around she said but six words...but to me they were the most life changing, heart rendering and loving words I could have hoped to hear. All she said was, 'Beautiful wings, just like an angel'. Setsuna let her mind roll over that moment, those words and the waves of gratefulness that had flowed through her heart back then before letting her mind move on.

Now at least I can see how my fear blinded me; Evangeline tested my resolve. I shall and can be both close to her and defend her, although I still can't completely shake off the guilt of being even this close...let alone closer. Her right hand left her back and started buttoning up her white shirt. It felt somewhat appropriate that her thoughts had returned full circle to the problem her mind had been hedging about to begin with.

Now that she's once again my light and all, making me feel so alive that I wonder how I survived in those days when training was my only focus, how can I think of taking more? Yet I crave being closer both 'spiritually' and physically because I can sense that just as I feel 'alive' now compared to then, I could feel 'alive' compared to now if that were to happen. So why am I so hesitant? So ashamed to be honest with her? Her head tilted to watch Konoka roll onto her back, her soul searching for the reasons.

I guess it's partly the guilt. My family were traditionalists anyway, as were Konoka's. 'A girl looks for a good marriage with a guy. Someday Konoka will marry a nobleman and you shall support them both' they said. Even then that caused me pain. I kicked up a fuss at the thought of sharing her with anyone even though I had isolated myself from her. Of course marriage wasn't even considered an option for me. I was expected to serve as a bodyguard until my death. So there's the stigma from my family and socially as well, what would others say? Do? I couldn't put ojou-sama through that! If so many people think it's so wrong is it a sin? The guy at the chapel said not but it still feels a little unusual, perhaps that's just the peer pressure though. Most of all though I doubt that Konoka could ever feel that way about me! Certainly not! She's overly friendly at times but anything I read into it is almost certainly a result of my imagination. She's usually overexcited anyways. So it shall remain my dirty secret, the one barrier she'll never break down or know of. She'll remain my secret sin inside, even when she's married...

The image of Konoka standing alongside a shadowy male with several kids running around caused an immense pain to jolt her heart: And I shall have to bear it without saying a word. It's for her happiness after all. As I asked before, was it worth letting her back into my life if doing so only brings me so much more pain? The worst of it is that because I'm so aware of my own sinful, selfish feelings it's hurting the friendship we have at the minute. I'm certainly colder towards her than I want to be but only to protect her... Aaarrghhh! Despite this Setsuna knew with certainty the answer to the question she had just posed herself: Yes! Yes! And a thousand times yes! Only I'm so selfish in wanting it to be so much more...Forgive me ojou-sama.

As if on cue Konoka's bright brown eyes opened wide and she stirred herself to sit up. Then she lifted her arms above her head and stretched, yawning heavily. Revealing those smooth armpits, her chest heaving upwards...focus, Setsuna, focus! Looking about sleepily Konoka's eyes sought the comforting presence of her seemingly ever-present protector. Finding her there, as always, a beaming smile crossed her face as she said brightly,

"Morning Se-chan!" Seeing Setsuna nod a return greeting with the beginnings of a smile Konoka rushed on happily, "I had a really great dream..."

The account went on for some time. From what Setsuna could gather it involved dragons, unicorns and the kidnapping of Konoka before she was rescued by a band of dark haired mermaids wielding swords. The plot wasn't always very coherent and the number of weird creations seemed limitless, but nonetheless it was enthralling. Setsuna couldn't help letting a flicker of disappointment cross her face as Konoka finished with, "and then I woke up. Is it early? It feels early."

Setsuna nodded causing Konoka to clap her hands together.

"Good! I love waking up early. It means the day is longer! What should we do today Se-chan?"