HIYA ~
Jeez, it's been a while, ne?
Well, here we go. SasuNaru~ Probably chaptered, but not quite sure as of yet. Any suggestions? Feedback = love, as per usual.
Review, please? I have this condition where I can't update unless people review. Sad but true. Honest.

Warning: This fanfiction contains self harm. If this offends you in any way please do not read it, or do not act like you have not been warned. It is not especially graphic, but may be upsetting to younger.. people... viewers... you get it, right?

Disclaimer: Kishimoto, not me, yada yada. All I own right now is a jelly baby.

"Leave me alone, you bastard."

"But Naruto, I don't know what I've do-"

That was all he heard before he slammed the door. Slumping against it, he slid down the wall. The tears that he had felt welling up inside him all afternoon overflowed. The thoughts that he never wanted to think came welling up and out of his throat in one feral scream that made the sound of Sasuke pounding at the door seem quiet.

He clawed at his throat, his face, any spare piece of skin that he could reach. His nails were blunt and didn't feel sharp enough against his skin. He needed something- something to remind himself that he was still alive. He wasn't stupid, but he needed something to hang onto. He needed….

Well, this was the point where he normally ran to Sasuke. The raven haired boy could make his desperation for pain fade, abating until it eventually disappeared. He could convince himself that he didn't need the pain, as long as he was safe in the raven's arms.

That was what he'd realised though. He clung to Sasuke. He was needy, pathetic, weak- all of the things that his lover detested. How could he be loved if he embodied all that his lover hated, because of said lover? How could he ever be what he needed to be if he clung to people for support? How could he ever be anything but a burden?

This was all too much. He felt hyper aware. He could feel the blood coursing through his veins, the tears rolling down his cheeks. Impatiently he lifted a hand to wipe them away- he shouldn't cry. He had to be strong. He was Naruto Uzumaki- the scholarship student, the clever, strong, feisty and idiotic freshman. He shouldn't be dependant. He shouldn't need to cling to other people.

He was only a burden, and he realised that.

Sasuke pounded on the thick oak door, biting his lip. He wouldn't allow himself to cry now, he just wouldn't. Naruto needed help; it wasn't a time for him to be selfish. His left fist was an angry red colour, the skin objecting to the repeated blows. His right hand hung by his side, bloody and weak. But he wouldn't stop hammering.

All he knew was that Naruto was upset. And an upset Naruto was one prone to do stupid things. Especially with his past, to say Sasuke was uneasy about leaving him alone in his distraught state would be an understatement. He just needed the dobe to open the fucking door…

"Naruto…"

His voice was horse from yelling, but there was little he could do about it. He knew the dobe could hear him, he just knew it. But there came no answer- the door remained shut. Sasuke was getting worried- seriously worried. Fiddling in his pocket, he searched for anything that he could find to pick the lock. He needed o know that Naruto was alright- that his Naruto was alright. Fuck it, he needed Naruto. The dobe was the one thing that made him get up in the morning.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. The thoughts running through his head all followed this similar pattern. His right hand was painful to move, but he had to find something to pick this lock with. His eyes threatened to spill over, but he didn't allow them to. He was an Uchiha- Uchihas didn't cry. Then again, they didn't stand in the middle of the hallway trying to bash down their boyfriend's doors with their fists either, but crying was just crossing the line.

He'd found something, something in his pocket. A hairpin? Something like that anyway. Fuck it, who cared? It was wire and sharp and could pick fucking locks. Even if it was a hairpin, who the fuck cared? It was common knowledge he was as gay as a… very gay thin- oh fuck it! Why was he even thinking this? Pick the fucking lock already.

Naruto stood in the kitchen. Dimly he registered that Sasuke had stopped shouting. Maybe he got bored and went home. The knives glittered in front of him, and he remembered something that he'd promised a long time ago. But it was to Sasuke, and if Sasuke didn't love him, what was the point in keeping it?

He drew the sharpest knife he had.

The irony suddenly hit him- Sasuke had bought this knife. He claimed that if he was ever going to eat here then he needed a cooking knife. The raven haired sophomore was quite a cook, it turned out, and whenever he stayed here he…

Why was he thinking this? Sasuke didn't, couldn't, shouldn't love him. Sai had shown him that, with his all too enlightening speech about how Sasuke could have any girl (or guy) that he wanted, so why should he choose Naruto?

And why indeed? He'd pondered this for a long time and come up with the conclusion that the beautiful boy must have been dating him out of pity. It was only pity that could force someone so perfect to choose a marred, ugly piece of scum like him. Only pity… only pity.

That was the mantra he continued as he watched the rivulets of blood flow down his arm to the clean tiled kitchen floor.

*****************************************************************

"Damnit…."

Blood ran in a small stream down his chin from where his teeth had worried away at his lip. The hairpin twisted in the door, but it still didn't open. Sasuke almost collapsed in despair, his eyes damp. But he wasn't crying. He couldn't be crying. For the sake of anyone who cared, he hadn't cried since Ita---.

Whatever. He hadn't cried in a while.

The lock clicked, he was inside. Leaving the oak door wide open, he sprinted down the hallway, following the only sound he could hear in the desolate apartment. A soft, pathetic sobbing, and it was coming from the kitchen.

Crashing through the painted white door, he skidded to a halt. Obsidian eyes overflowed as he saw his Naru, his dobe, his angel, lying on the floor. His face was red and sore, his eyes streaming, his wrists bloody. The raven braced himself on the door and hung his head. Drops of salt water brushed his bare feet and the polished wooden floor. Uchiha's didn't cry. But the sight of the blonde lying in a pool of blood and tears would've hurt anyone with a soul.

Using his sleeve to wipe his eyes, the Uchiha scooped up his lover bridal style (how ironic after the dobe had just kicked him out) and lay him gently on the queen sized bed. 'Big enough for two' was how Naru had described it to him, and he couldn't bear to think that he may never sleep beside his angel again. Brushing these thought aside, he hurried to the bathroom, taking a first aid kit out from under the sink. Finding antiseptic and bandages, he almost ran back to the bed. Carefully he cleaned and dressed the cuts that mingled with older scars, and laid the blonde's wrists back down upon the bed. Pushing the blonde's hair back from his forehead, he nearly turned away when he saw that tears were still spilling out from the bright blue eyes.

"Away… go 'way…. Uchiha…"

"No."

He couldn't pull himself away even if he wanted to. Even if he was ordered to. Goddamnit, if hell's army rose up from the dead and tried to drag him away, he'd kill all of them before they disturbed him and his dobe.

"Go to sleep, Naruto. We'll talk about it when you wake up."

"Don't… tell me… what to do… teme…"

At this, Sasuke almost smiled. The fact that the idiot called him teme meant that it wasn't his own anger that fuelled him to kick him out. When Naruto was truly furious at him, of his own reasons, he only called him Uchiha. When something or someone else triggered his anger, he would only call him Uchiha when he remembered.

The object of his attention was almost fast asleep by now. Pulling his hand away from the cerulean eyed boy's cool forehead, the raven headed towards the kitchen. Staring at the mess on the floor, he grimaced. Stepping gingerly towards the cupboard, he took out a mop and bucket. Bending down to pick up the offending knife, Sasuke felt a sting of hurt course through him. He'd bought Naru this knife, as a sign that he trusted him as well as to cook with. And the fact that he bought it to cook with was a sign that he wasn't fooling around- Sauske only ever cooked for himself and his family.

Sighing, he dropped the knife in the sink, the empty clash barely registering in his mind. Filling the bucket with water, he began to mop up the solidifying blood on the floor. Before he was done, he poured a glass of water and collected some iron tablets. On an afterthought, he collected various vitamin tablets, and some fruit juice. God knows how much blood the dobe had lost, but he was going to need iron and vitamins and stuff like that. Hell, he may need more, but Sasuke wasn't a doctor, and his angel would kill him if he contacted a hospital or a doctor.

But he would never give up on his angel.