Prologue

It has almost been two years since Sam had left me, but that was just a number, because the constant ache and throbbing of my heart makes the number of years seem infinite. I couldn't even count how many times I have thought of Sam or how many times I hoped that there was the slighted chance that he might come back to me. But I knew it was false hope.

He had Emily now. Why would he need me? All I was to him was his bitter ex-girlfriend that all of La Push knew to be as the stalker. I didn't stalk him I just felt empty if he wasn't close, close to me, close to my heart.

But my selfish need for him only makes the healing process impossible. It was an impossible situation damned if I do, damned if I don't.

"Leah, talk to someone that helped me when Grandma died. Talking to anyone can help fill the hole." Seth said to me one day when he found me down and depressed on the couch when he came home from patrol one day.

"Sam is the only thing that can fill that hole. But he doesn't care Emily is all he will never need to feel complete. That was never how he felt with me." I shouted. Inches from his face, then left slamming the door in his emotionless face.

Seth was my brother, he didn't do anything wrong, he didn't have to take the brunt of all my anger and depression. He stood by my side every step of the way from when Sam dumped me too when Sam and Emily announced that they were going to tie the knot a week ago. But since then I became invisible. Everyone was too caught up in the possible wedding and wedding details that they completely forgot me. Leaving me feel more abandoned than ever. Even my own family forgot about me. My mom who remained mad at Sam and Emily for what they did to me with the news became more excited for them then I excepted. Like a wedding would fix anything. The only way it would was if it was my wedding, not hers.

I am strong, normally. But small stresses of everyday life were poking at my hard shell that I build around myself to keep everyone out, slowly becoming weaker with age.

Maybe it was the being ignored by the pack or the glistening ring sitting proudly and confidently on Emily's finger that set me off. But the first time that suicide came to mind was after Emily asked me to be her maid of honor and we went dress shopping. She sat on the step looking at herself in the mirror, checking her profile from every angle, well every corner that didn't show too much of her distorted face.

"Oh, Emily. I can't believe you are getting married; it is the best thing I could think of. You are going to be most beautiful bride in the world. Not just in the exterior but in the interior. Your one of the only girls I know who are like that. I can see why Sam would choose you over all the fish in the sea." The one statement was the straw that broke the camel's back. Mothers are only to say that to only, only their daughters, not the back stabbing cousin who stole their daughters love.

Everyone looked at Emily with happiness and passion, Sam saw a future with her. When people looked at me they saw pity, hate and many names that no one would liked to be called.

That is why I am standing her, at the edge of the cliff outside of La Push. Seth said getting, "help" would help me but I knew me I knew it wouldn't work. The only thing that will solve ever problem would be to end it all. So I could be with my father, the only person that ever acted like the actually cared for me.

I dropped the bloody razor to the ground, and it bounced until it landed dangerously close to the edge of the cliff that dropped a hundred feet to the sea. White caped waves were slamming into cliff, tidal waving over jagged rocks that called to, me inviting me to join them there for eternity. I took another step closer.

I knew this would work, it had to this was the only possible way left. Right before this I tried cutting myself up and down, side to side on my wrist. I cut and cut all over my wrist until I sure I drawed a bloody version of a Picasso art piece. But my werewolf healing only made them slowly heal until there was nothing left o show my depression to the world.

I tried a full bottle of high blood pressure medicine that was left over from my father, just goes to show how well those work. My stomach treated them as if they were nothing but gummies.

So now I am here, inches from the edge of the cliff, inches from the solution.

A faint howl could be heard in the distance. It was Jake. I wasn't supposed to be here. I was supposed to be at a meeting for Alpha's and Beta's only, the two packs were going to get together to fix any problems. But I couldn't go he was there.

The howling began to get louder. I had to do it before they ever had the time to stop me.

With one final step I feel over the cliff. I didn't feel scared; my heart didn't jump with the last step. Instead it slowed as if it was preparing for the impact. The cliff moved slowly next to me until I was covered in a sea of navy and white, then black. My head whipped against the corner a sharp rock edge, delivering the final blow.