Yes or No

***

Characters: Fourth Doctor, K9 (Mark 2), Romana II

Pairings: None

Summary: The Doctor might regret trying to outsmart K9 when it comes to victory in a popular Earth Children's game perfect during long journeys in the TARDIS. Written for K9 Lovers everywhere.

"The temperature in the Vortex outside is most disagreeable, hey K9?"

"Affirmative, Master. Temperature is unsuitable for most organically derived species."

"Erm... quite. I say, you weren't bored at all while I and Romana were out punting in Cambridge last week, were you K9?"

"Negative, Master. This unit is incapable of emotional responses derived to the organically based term of 'boredom'. K9 utilised the two hours, twenty one minutes and 2.36 seconds you and the Mistress were absent by categorising-"

"Perhaps later, K9... Ah... does the chronical parallel by-polar degree to the sixth of Pi come to eighteen thousand, three hundred and Seventy One Point Five Five Five Five Five Five Five Five One Three?"

"Negative Master. The Chronical Parallel-"

"No! I mean... let's try another round, hey?"

The Door to the dimly lit TARDIS Console room creaked open as an exhausted Romana groggily entered the room, clothed in her favourite Time Lady PJs and clutching a glass of warm milk in one hand, her voice cracked and worn as she glared at the wide-eyed Doctor and his robotic friend, crotched down opposite each other, just across from the whirring TARDIS Console itself.

A long weary sigh escaped her lips as she pulled a strand of blonde hair from her strained eyelids. "Doctor... for the last time, can't you accept that it's impossible to defeat K9 at that childish Earth game of yours? He's not going to say Yes or No and you know it! Now I understand we Time Lords we don't need that much sleep, but you've been up testing him for a whole Seventy-Six Hours with apparently no rest and just a bag of Jelly Babies for food which most likely has you in more of an over bearing mood than usual-"

The Doctor snapped up at her, the crazed childish voice Romana knew speaking in place of the rational man she preferred. "No! I started this game and I'm determined to win it! And I'm not tired! Just determined! In games like this you have to display a sense of urgency! All systems go!" He twisted back to K9 as a grin enveloped his face, an idea for victory in his mind. "K9, what might I ask is the opposite of No?"

"The opposite of- the opposite of your selected statement is not permitted within this recreational activity, Master. Suggest alternative activity for organics amusement as this unit has anticipated for all of Master's possible audio respon-"

And for the first time in the Doctor's life for several decades, Romana watched as the Doctor broke down and sobbed whilst K9 continued his formula.

She sighed once more, giving up on her Time Lord counterpart as the farce in front of her continued. "You really are a bad loser sometimes, Doctor."

Through sniffed coughs the Doctor glanced up and gave her a childish shrug. "Well... there's no point in winning if you can't accept defeat sometimes."

"Affirmative, Mas-"

"Oh shut up K9!"