U.N.I.T.Y.

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The Yoshis were, so it has often been said, a friendly and peaceful race - a colorful, rainbow array of smallish dinosaurs content to bake in the sun, consume the wild fruits growing free and plenty on their islands of residence, and race until their sneaker-clad feet throbbed with sweaty blisters. And, through their race's long history with the two men, they were always happy to shoot the breeze with plumber brothers Mario and Luigi, or offer a ride if needed.

However, not all was well within the ranks of the Yoshi race. It seemed, at first, to perhaps be a series of little things - sideways glances glinting with suspicion, an extra-wide berth given when they passed, careful avoidance of direct eye contact - but soon, doubts and questions began to arise in the minds of a few Yoshis who were feeling quite... targeted.

Black Yoshi strolled casually down the sun-kissed dirt path to his mailbox, flipping it open and searching through the contents. Bills, bills, junk, late birthday card, subscription offer for Ebonyoshi magazine... nothing terribly interesting.

A gleam out of the corner of his eye caught his attention, and he groaned as he realized who it was. Neighbor across the street.

"Hello," White Yoshi called, his cordial tone masking an icicle-forming frostiness. "Anything good in the mail, ahh, brotha?"

"Look, man, don't even start," Black Yoshi warned, slapping his mailbox shut. "It ain't the day for this shit."

"I was just asking a simple question!" White Yoshi protested innocently, widening its eyes and waving its stubby hands defensively. "Goodness, you people are so touchy! You should calm down and have a snack. I hear there's some very juicy watermelon growing on the fruit trees."

"I said, cut it out..." Black Yoshi growled, adding a grumble of "Fucking honky" under his breath.

Honky Yoshi smirked, attempting to pass it off as a simple, friendly smile. "By the way," he added, each word dripping with jovial malice, "you wouldn't happen to have taken - I mean, you wouldn't happen to have gotten any of my mail by, uhh, mistake, would you? I know how your kind like to take things that aren't yours. "

"Okay, man, that's it!" Black Yoshi snapped, grunting and squatting for a moment. A few strained groans gave way to a large, black egg popping from his sphincter and crashing to the ground. "Now I'mma smash your white ass up!"

"You're going to throw something at me that you excreted from your rear?" Honky Yoshi laughed. "Well, then, you're just like a little monkey, aren't y-"

"SHUT UP!" Black Yoshi screamed as the egg sailed through the air, with a low and sinister Wheeeeeeeeeeee!, spiraling towards the helpless honky, who screamed and covered his face with his arms.

It wasn't enough to save him, and with a final scream of "Nigga, please!", he was taken out in the ensuing blast. All that remained after the deafening explosion were a pair of white sneakers and a smoking, blood-stained, charred crater.

However, Nigga Yoshi wasn't quite so lucky himself, as the blast had been deadly enough to envelop him without problems, either.

And so, the oldest ongoing feud of Yoshi's Island had died out for good, and the remaining Yoshis joined hands and made a rainbow of smiles and sunshine! At least, until Brown Yoshi was deported under suspicion of entering the island illegally, and Yellow Yoshi walled himself up in his house and began researching nuclear weaponry so he could threaten the island into a communist state. Green Yoshi was so depressed by this chain of events that he drank himself into an early grave.

U.N.I.T.Y.!

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~Fin