Epilogue

A year, a single year was all the time he'd been granted. True to his word, Kanda kept Allen at his side as much as possible. Over the first month he'd been accompanying Allen on all his missions and having the boy train with him, even sitting to eat with him. Allen hadn't known what came over the older male but he didn't mind the extra attention. He couldn't get past his love for the samurai, so whether or not he understood what Kanda's reasons were for his actions, he savored the moments those cobalt eyes would lock with his, heart overflowing from the compassion he felt emanating off the older male.

Nearing the beginning of the second month of Allen's last year, with no luck on the research front, Kanda took the woman's words to heart and sought out a place within the Order he'd never before given a second glance.

It wasn't abnormal for war institutions to have a chapel within it for prayer and the Black Order was no exception. Kanda had long since known that this place existed but had never had a reason to bother with it. Kanda wasn't a God fearing, religiously devout kind of man, hell he didn't even believe in God. Though Tiedoll had often blabbered on about praying for aid in times of need and the like, he had not once believed that a humbled person asking aid of some sort of fantastical idea would make a difference in the outcome of someone's life. It was stupid and impractical, but ever since that damnably infuriating female god had told him to beseech God for his help, he'd taken up prayer – in a manner of speaking.

Thus he found himself in the chapel within the Black Order. It was small, fronted by a worn oak altar, with a velvet cloth hanging over its surface, a glass bowl half filled with water and three white candles standing atop it. A simple rustic cross hung from the wall behind the altar. Besides that the room was empty, no pews for collective worship or books of praise. The scowl on his face darkened and his eyes hardened as he stared at the altar. Screwing up his resolve he fell to his knees, bending forward from his waist, palms placed on the floor, fingers angled towards each other.

"I don't know if you're there, hell I don't even know if you give a damn, but he doesn't deserve to die like this," Kanda said, "he's been fighting for you all his life, so I think you owe it to him to save his soul from damnation."

"Yuu what are you doing?" Lavi asked, stepping into the chapel. Having been looking for the navy haired male it wasn't too difficult to find out which direction he'd gone from the finders he'd scared in his passing.

"Shut up what's it look like I'm doing?" Kanda snapped, shooting up straight, the anger and embarrassment flushing his cheeks.

"I don't know what it is, but I'm damn sure that it can't be what it looks like," Lavi said in awe, "I think something's wrong with my eye, 'cause I could almost swear I walked in on you praying."

"Shut up," Kanda muttered as he stood up making to remove himself from the redhead's company.

"Allen was looking for you," Lavi said causing Kanda to stiffen as he stopped with his hand on the door. The silence was deafening as Kanda felt the strange conflictions within him burning furiously.

"Where is he?" Kanda asked.

"You know I've read through just about every book and document in the Vatican's records. I've learned things that would make the public at large gasp and storm the place with torches and pitchforks or something. Hell I found things that have been banned from the church for centuries," Lavi said, "but the only accounts of such deals are found in lore and myth, devil deals and the like. No real physical entities have ever been documented and even in the lore there's nothing to say that such deals can be broken."

"If you're telling me to stop trying I'm going to have to kill you," Kanda said, voice laden in ice.

"Easy Yuu, I was just stating the facts," Lavi said hands held up defensively, "I don't know if this praying is going to help any but if you feel like you're getting somewhere then by all means continue."

"She told me to," Kanda said, the hand at his side balling into a fist.

"What?" Lavi asked, crimson brow quirking at the response.

"The god that Allen made the deal with," Kanda gritted out between clenched teeth, "when I went to see her she told me to ask God to save him."

"Yuu-"

"Don't call me that," Kanda hissed, hand relaxing as he pushed the door open, heading off in search of the snowy haired exorcist.

xXx

Days bled into weeks and weeks into months, and still Kanda hadn't succeeded in doing much more than realizing to just what extent he was obsessed with Allen. His heart ached every time he was drawn into the gorgeous stardust eyes, where he saw nothing of the boy's fear or his uncertainty and it unnerved him ever the more.

A sweep of a hand across the table was followed by a loud crash; the long standing lotus landing on the ground and the glass jar shattering violently against the stone. A knock at the door soon followed almost urgently in its repetition before the door creaked open, the barest sliver of light from the hall painting a glowing light in the otherwise darkened room.

"Kanda, can I come in?" Allen asked, finding himself to be staring at the unbound navy locks spilling over the samurai's back – a beautiful cascading waterfall of midnight tresses. The man didn't reply, and Allen took it as an okay, stepping in and closing the door behind him. He'd not expected the loud crash from the room when he'd come to speak with Kanda, but his worries were allayed as he took in the fact that the male seemed fine and though glass fragments littered the floor, there was no blood in the air.

Allen slowly approached the male only to stop when he caught sight of a drop of shimmering crystal falling to the ground.

"Kanda are you crying?" Allen asked in shock, receiving only silence in response. Allen took another couple of steps to close the distance between them and rested a hand on the older male's shoulder, urging him to turn. Thin streaks of salty grief trailed over Kanda's proud face, eyes hard and brows furrowed at his weakness.

"It's been six months damn it and I'm no closer to finding a way to stop this," Kanda hissed angrily as he averted his gaze from the smaller boy.

"Kanda, please look at me," Allen said reaching up to cup the man's face as he thumbed away a couple of tears.

"You're a fucking idiot," Kanda growled, hand clasping over Allen's and ceasing his movement.

"Yeah I know, you've told me that already," Allen said smiling.

"And you're being so reckless in battle," Kanda snapped hating that the boy was so calm about it all, "just last month you were under bed arrest in the infirmary for a week."

"Well I did win though, one less Noah to worry about," Allen said with a slight shrug.

"Fucking hell, are you even listening to yourself?" Kanda asked, hands gripping Allen by the shoulders.

"Kanda, I'm not afraid to die," Allen said. He didn't know how many times he'd already told the male over the past few months that he wasn't afraid and that everything was alright, but it never seemed to sink in to the stubborn samurai's mind.

"Why?" the question had been so broken, so very unlike Kanda and for a moment Allen's heart ached, wanting to stay with him even after the year was over. The thought was quickly brushed aside, because it was impossible – he'd made a deal and that was that, yearning would do nothing but cause him unnecessary pain.

"Because I'm tired, it seems like I've been fighting forever and even if I do nothing else, I got to save the one person I love most in this world," Allen said his smile broadening, "how many people can say that at the end of the day?"

"Baka Moyashi," Kanda murmured as he pulled Allen forward, arms sliding around the small frame, chin resting atop the boy's head as he reveled in the soft silken hair and the sinfully addictive sweet milky scent cling to the boy's skin.

He wasn't bound to give up, he'd keep trying, keep searching, perhaps he'd missed something. He had six months left, half a year, and he'd damn well find something that could help.

xXx

"Why the fuck aren't you answering me damn it?" Kanda growled, just about ready to destroy the damn altar in his rage. "He's going to die! And as much as I hate it, I can't save him alone!"

He wasn't all too surprised when he heard no response, or felt no enlightenment on the matter and his patience was long past its zenith. Drawing Mugen from its sheath he pointed it towards the cross threateningly.

"I swear that I'll desecrate this damn place with your own fucking innocence if you don't-"

Cobalt eyes traced the blade of his shirasaya as he was hit with an epiphany. Sheathing Mugen he gave a quick bow to the altar before rushing off to Komui's office.

"I need to go back," Kanda said barging into the room and startling Komui awake – the man falling from atop his pile of unfinished work.

"Excuse me?" Komui asked standing while dusting himself off.

"To that town, now, I need to go now," Kanda said urgently as he slammed his hands on the desk in front of the estranged scientist.

"You already tried going back there, what-"

"Don't ask questions that you know I won't answer," Kanda hissed, "you are wasting my time."

"Fine, go on your self-proclaimed mission," Komui sighed as he gestured to the door. He really didn't want to see Mugen's tip today, he liked life far too much to test his luck with the tightly strung samurai.

Briskly walking to the door Kanda paused and shot Komui a sharp glare.

"Don't tell him."

With just three months left, Kanda finally had a feasible plan.

xXx

"Listen lady I'm done fucking with you," Kanda hissed as the god appeared, looking less than happy to see him.

"What is it now?" she asked, the pools of tar following the angry Japanese male as he whipped around to face her, navy hair swishing violently with the movement.

"I have a proposition for you, that I think you'll find worth while," Kanda said, the malice clearly showing in his voice.

"I already told you that nothing you can do will make me take your life in exchange for his," she said in a bored tone.

"That's not the proposition," Kanda said.

"Fine, I'm listening," she said watching curiously as a smirk breeched the samurai's face.

"You fight me and if I win you let him go," Kanda said, "if you win you get us both." A moment passed before a smile wrought with destruction lit her features.

"You do realize there is no way you can beat a god," she said and Kanda could almost see the excitement shimmer across her black eyes.

"Che, you're no god," Kanda scoffed.

"I accept your proposition," she said. The smirk on Kanda's face widened, he'd gotten her to agree; now all that was left was to win.

"I'll be back here in two days," Kanda said.

"Why wait?" the question was sultry as she sauntered closer to him.

"That's none of your business," Kanda snapped.

"Alright hun," she said snaking her hands over the samurai taking in the beautiful anger radiating off his rigid form.

"What are you doing woman?" Kanda growled.

"Sealing the deal," she whispered, pressing her lips to his. Once he'd managed to regain coherency of his thoughts he furiously shoved her off. Retreating a couple feet, licking her lips, she smiled.

"Your boy didn't seem to mind too much," she taunted. A violent streak of anger flashed through Kanda when the words sank in; she had kissed Allen to seal the deal to bring him back. Eyes darkening he entertained the idea of beating the shit out of her just to sate his anger.

"Fucking hell woman I swear-"

"I'll see you in two days, make them worth it," she whispered saucily before vanishing into the foggy night.

xXx

Kanda's absence had been hard on Allen, he'd gotten so used to the male's extra attention, that when he hadn't been told that Kanda was going on a mission he felt a strange hollowness brewing inside his chest.

Upon his return to headquarters Kanda went straight to Allen's room, finding him sitting on the floor just underneath the window, looking rather depressed.

"Are you alright?" Kanda asked as he approached the boy, Allen's head shot up at his voice.

"Kanda, where were you?" Allen asked as he pushed himself up from the floor.

"I had something to take care off," Kanda said with a slight shrug as he walked towards Allen.

"Kanda?" Allen looked at the male questioningly as he approached, calloused hands sliding over his shoulders and linking behind his back as he found himself standing flush against the older male.

"Allen," Kanda mumbled against the boy's ear, admiring the beautiful flush of red that spilled across the boy's face at the use of his name, "do you love me?" He was still skeptical about the use of that word but he didn't care right now, he needed to know.

"What're you-"

"Answer the damn question," Kanda grumbled, arms tightening around the slender boy in his arms.

"Yes, I do," Allen said, distinguished white brows knitting together in his confusion, "Kanda what's this all about?"

"Yuu," Kanda murmured against Allen's ear, lips brushing against the pale flesh, "call me Yuu."

"Yuu," Allen said, eyes widening as the lips that had been next to his ear a second ago were now pressing against his. The need and desire was so strong Allen felt like the world was falling away around him as he melted into the embrace, arms looping around the back of Kanda's neck as he slanted his head, deepening the kiss.

"I have a mission tomorrow," Kanda said as he broke away, both panting lightly, hearts racing, "it'll only be for a day, but please take care of yourself while I'm gone." He knew very well that he may not come back but he couldn't tell Allen.

"Yuu?" Allen's eyes glazed as the male buried his face in the boy's neck, breathing in the sweet milky scent, tongue slipping out to flick against the sensitive flesh. And sure enough, Allen tasted as sweet as the heady scent that hung off him.

Leading Allen over to the bed Kanda sat down, pulling the snowy haired boy down with him. Allen pulled back a bit to look in the deep cobalt eyes, searching for answers.

"Just let me hold you tonight," Kanda said as he pressed a feather soft kiss to the boy's lips. A sweet smile stretched across Allen's face as he nodded. To spend a night in the arms of the one he'd give everything for was pure bliss. If he had been thinking properly, though, he would have wondered as to why the sudden affection had increased tenfold.

When morning came Kanda would leave Allen for the last time. He hoped that the boy wouldn't hate him for it, but if things worked out, then the deal would be broken and things would be as they were.

'Don't cry for me anymore,' Kanda thought as he held the boy close, reveling in the small body that fit against his so perfectly.

xXx

Standing once again at the crossroads, Mugen at his side and the sky and endless expanse of moon bathed indigo. It was quite the setting for what may very well be his last. The only thing missing was the god and her demonically black eyes.

"Did you say your goodbyes?" She asked, appearing once again from seemingly nowhere. Kanda spun to face her, meeting the smug look on her face with a prideful one of his own, betraying none of his uneasiness.

"Did you?" Kanda scoffed.

"Cheeky bastard," she smirked as she sauntered closer. Body coiled tight, ready to strike at any time.

"Che," Kanda drew Mugen and took a stance.

"Swords huh," she mused. "Okay samurai boy, let's dance." A katana of what appeared to be her energy materialized in her hand as she took her own stance. After a moment of eyeing each other down the battle commenced in a flurry of clashing swords.

xXx

For hours the two kept up their dangerous dance until Kanda caught her in the gut, a fowl gleam in her eyes having not expected the weapon to hurt like it did. The wound burning painfully as her sword fell from her hand, dissolving into nothing before it hit the ground. Eyes narrowing, she clutched an arm around her bleeding stomach.

"What did you do to me?" she asked her blood boiling painfully, stretching from the wound outward through her veins. Panting heavily and his blood trailing from wounds on his body Kanda smirked.

"You got me thinking when you said to ask God for help. And for the past nine months I've been wondering why the hell he wasn't answering," Kanda said, "but then I realized that he didn't need to, cause I already had his weapon."

True to his statement the innocence was referred to as God's crystal. The solution had been in front of him the whole time. As a member of the Black Order he was surrounded by the holy weapons. Exorcists were warriors for God, wielding his weapons to make safe the world he created. It took nine months of silence for him to realize that he'd been granted the answer long before he'd ever asked the question.

"I win," Kanda said, "a deal is a deal, he goes free."

"Tell me something lover boy," she said watching him curiously, "when you willingly made this deal you planned to die either way. If you lost, I would get both of you, and if you won you asked only that Allen be freed from his deal, so right now I can take you back in his stead. Why?"

"I knew you wouldn't play all or nothing stakes no matter how confident you were, and once you said no there would be no negotiating," Kanda said breathing heavily as he sheathed Mugen, "that was a chance I couldn't take."

The despair ridden demonic eyes observed the male for a moment longer before turning her head.

"Go."

"What?" Kanda asked, brows furrowing at the word to leave her lips.

"Go," she said again, "I give you leave to be with your lover."

"Just like that?" Kanda asked incredulously.

"Go before I change my mind you stupid boy," she commanded firmly, fading past the realm of sight, leaving the shocked navy haired male alone at the centre of the crossroads.

xXx

Returning to the Order, Kanda was in a state of confusion as he wondered how it was that she had broken the deal, not that he wasn't thankful. But it didn't make sense. Following the familiar path to Allen's room he finds the boy looking rather flustered, hands fidgeting in his lap as he sat at the edge of the bed.

"What's wrong?" Kanda asked as he approached the younger boy only for the bloodshot silver eyes to meet his as Allen whipped his head up. Standing abruptly Allen's eyes narrowed as his brows knitted together fist flying into Kanda's jaw without reserve. Head snapping to the side in pain, the navy haired male rubbed his jaw, turning a confused and angry look to the young boy.

"What the fuck was that for?" Kanda asked as he took in the furious eyes of the boy he'd just risked his soul for.

"How could you not tell me?" Allen demanded.

"What?"

"Lavi told me that you've been going to see that god trying to make deals with her!" Allen snapped. "He told me that you went there to fight her. You knew full well that you may not come back and that's why you were so…you knew that you may not come back and you didn't say a word to me about it!"

"Baka Usagi," Kanda grumbled. The damn redhead was too observant for his own good. Even if he had found out about his plan, why the hell had he gone and told Allen about it? "I'm going to kill him."

"Kanda!" Allen snapped irately. The navy haired male braced himself, expecting another punch but instead found himself tumbling to the ground, the smaller boy clinging desperately to him. "Yuu," Allen whimpered as he buried his face in the crook of the male's neck.

"Allen?"

"I didn't think you were coming back." Kanda froze, as he felt tears splash against his neck. Allen was crying. "You stupid, arrogant, bastard."

"I'm sorry," Kanda sighed as he wrapped his arms around the boy's waist.

The floor was cold and hard beneath him, he was exhausted from the battle with the god, and he was sustaining several gashes in his skin. Even so the pleasant weight of the smaller boy atop him and the affectionate warmth bleeding into him made the moment perfect.

Everything was okay now. They could spend the rest of their unrestricted lives together. And one day Kanda would eventually work up the resolve to find the words to express how he felt about the younger boy. For now, though, he could settle for holding him.

Life doesn't always work out the way you plan, but you'll never know how it'll end up if you stop trying.

End

A/N: So the epilogue kind of turned into a second chapter kind of thing. I hope it was satisfying enough.

I can't say as to when I'll be posting anything else up, I had orientation at my university the other day and it was a literal nightmare, tons of people and a complete waste of time. And they expect me to go to frosh week, what a joke. The only thing I'll be doing before my classes start is picking up my textbooks and going on a scavenger hunt for my classes. They can shove their stupid toga party and semi-formal boat cruise up their ineffably irritating asses!

So yeah, just a little bit irritated over here but it's all good. Though, I'll be better once all this, prelude to freshman year, nonsense is over.

Anyway thanks to everyone who's read and reviewed my works.

Comments are welcomed – they make me happy :)