A/N
Hello! *waves* How have you been? ^u^
How has Life been treating you lately? And how have you been treating it—and everyone else in your life—in return?

Before anything else… I AM REALLY VERY SORRY.
For having taken this long to upload an update to this little fanfic of mine.

I also deeply, humbly regret to inform you that…

… this isn't the real Chapter 27 of The Kurama whom Kurama Never Knew.

Sometime between my last update and today, my (former) laptop gave up the ghost—and just basically gave up on me.
Right while I was typing the final scene of the real Chapter 27 of Never Knew.

So I have been writing Chapter 27 for the second time.
Using a new, different laptop from before.

Until now, I had never truly known just how… dispiriting… disheartening… demotivating… it feels to compose an entire chapter of an ongoing novel a second time.
Especially a chapter as long and as winding as the ones that I churn out for this fanfic on a regular basis.
And most especially when there was nothing inherently wrong with the first attempt at writing it.

So I'm really sorry.

I just haven't been… feeling it… as much the second time around.

When my (former) laptop crashed, not only did I lose my one and only copy of the original Chapter 27…

… but somewhere along the way, I also lost my will to write.

I had to pull myself together just to (re)type another version of the same chapter.

So I'm really very sorry for having taken this long to post this—and, to top it off, for even adding insult to injury by posting an update like this.

Yes, I am aware of how a dying fanfic looks.
I am also (painfully) aware that it looks a lot like this.
An especially long Author's Note… promises of updates yet to be kept…
Those kinds of fanfics are familiar to me:
Fanfics that go on hiatus—no, technically it's their respective authors who go on hiatus.
Discontinued fics.
Dead fics.
I deeply, deeply dread the day that this very fanfic of mine befalls any such fate. (For the love of everything holy, may that day never come!) You see, I've grown quite an attachment to this little hobby of mine—what was once a passing pursuit had blossomed into a voluntary commitment. A sort of unpaid, unsung labor of love.

I hate this. Sounding like my very own fanfic is on its death knell. I really, really hate this.

So now, I'm trying my utmost best to get back on track.

Even right now, I'm still pulling myself together.
And getting my act together.
I don't have it all together just yet.
However, I may have fallen, but I'm getting back up again.
I'm no longer letting myself stay down.

Because I have to clean up my act by now.
Be more responsible—not just in terms of penning this fanfic, but even in my real-life roles.
I am an only child, you see.
And my parents are growing older.
More sickly.
And less capable of providing for our family.

And because none of us are getting any younger…
… I now have to be the breadwinner of my family.

So it's about time for me to quit Peter Pan-ning my way through Life and through my twenties and—please pardon my language—actually get my adult shit together.

But damn—it's hard sometimes!

Especially lately.
I've had sore eyes for the past two weeks.
Until now—right as I type this.
I caught an eye infection from one of my companions at home.
So both my eyes feel so gritty... like there are grains of sand—or some other crumbly foreign object altogether—in them.
My eyeballs have been overheating to unbelievable levels, and my eyelids very heavy and hard to keep open.
So I can't actually see very well at the moment.
I can't even read the very words that I am now typing all that well, either.

Sigh.
It's always something or another with me, isn't it?

I'm sorry about all this whiny drama.
And thank you so, so much for your patience and understanding.

Nonetheless, please rest assured that I will—still—continue writing this fanfic—by hook or by crook, come hell or high water, no matter what.
Finishing this novel has been a childhood dream of mine since I was ten years of age.
For the life of me, I'm not letting it go.

I just wanted you—all of you—to know that:
Every single day that we remain alive…
… I make it a habit to add something to this fanfic.
Even just a sentence.
Even just a phrase.
But I always add something—no matter how short or (seemingly) insignificant.
No matter what I am doing, whenever an idea for a future chapter suddenly strikes me, I always stop whatever I am doing and type it down.
If not directly into my laptop, then into the Notes app of my mobile phone.
If neither are available to me at the spur of the moment, I would quickly jot it all down with good ol' pen and paper.

After all, I made a commitment—to both you and myself—that I will write this until its very end.
Please trust that I am living by my commitment—every day—even if my updates arrive at your e-mail inbox so infrequently.

The trouble with writing, though, is that it's literally always easier to just lie face-down on your pillow and dream—or even daydream—the scenes away instead of actually translating your intangible imaginary images to actual readable writing.
Or, in other times, simply stare at the wall and make inarticulate noises.
I'm sure the aspiring authors and writers among you can relate to this "I'd rather be doing something else than write" feeling that overcomes and overpowers us at times.

But I really forced myself to get out of my lazy, uninspired funk today.

I badly wanted to post something by today, you see.
Because today is actually special to me—for two reasons.

One: Today is the anniversary of the day that I posted the very first chapter of The Kurama whom Kurama Never Knew. So if fanfics ever actually celebrated birthdays, then I consider this day the default "birthday" of Never Knew.

And two: Today is also my own birthday.
When I posted the very first chapter of Never Knew, I had officially reached the legal age of majority in all countries across the world.
And as of today, it has been a whopping six years since then.

It's simply just too bad that I wasn't able to actually finish proofreading and polishing (my second version of) Chapter 27—enough to make it worthy of being uploaded here and now.

But please rest assured that this chapter that you see before you won't leave you empty-handed.

Please, scroll down.
I have included two previews of just what you can expect from my next update.

And if you like, you can choose to scroll down even further.
There's something else down there, you see.

Would you like to check them out? ^-^

[NOW THIS IS WHAT I NEED ALL YOUR HELP FOR!]

And since it's both Never Knew's—and even my own—birthday today, could I please request something of and from you? (And by "you," I mean all of you reading this—even those among you who have never submitted a review for this little fanfic of mine.)

Given that you are here, I assume that you have read the following chapters of Never Knew:

Chapter 10: The Unknowing, Unknown Rival
Alternative Chapter Title: Kaname
(The story of Hagiri Kaname and Mayonaka Setsuki's childhood, and how they eventually became a romantic couple)

… as well as…

Chapters 24 and 25: The Human Prey
Alternative Chapter Title: The Untold Sniper
(The story, told in two parts, of how Sensui Shinobu recruited Kaname as the first human psychic of the Sensui Seven—the Sniper)

Well, you see… Believe it or not, for the very first time in my entire life, I actually entered a fan fiction writing competition—namely, the Yu Yu Hakusho Fanfiction Contest organized by the moderators of the /r/YuYuHakusho subreddit at Reddit dot Com for the month of August 2015!

And since the Yu Yu Hakusho Fanfiction Contest was based on the following writing prompt:

"Write a prequel to Yu Yu Hakusho that details the untold history of one or more of the characters.
Your history can be about a human, like Yusuke's Mom, a spiritualist, like Genkai, or a demon, like Jin.
Your prequel must be about an existing Yu Yu Hakusho character, and must take existing Yu Yu Hakusho cannon into consideration.
Don't tell us that Hiei was born in a desert wasteland of fire.
He wasn't."

I then adapted Chapters 10, 24, and 25 of Never Knew—yes, the very chapters that you've already read—and rewrote them in order to best abide by the prompt and submit a "prequel" fanfic depicting the untold history of none other than our Hagiri Kaname (alias Sniper)!

I entitled my (adaptation of a) fanfic, Descent into the Darkness: The Fall of the Sniper.
In sum, it details my take on just how Kaname fell—in love, as well as into Sensui's manipulative machinations.
You may find it here:
fanfiction DOT net SLASH s SLASH 11464631 SLASH 1 SLASH

[Since FF dot Net almost always garbles or corrupts web links, kindly replace the word "SLASH" with the actual 'forward slash' character, the word "UNDERSCORE" with the actual 'underscore' symbol, and delete all the spaces in between.]

IF YOU LIKED MY TAKE ON THE "UNTOLD HISTORY" OF HAGIRI KANAME, ALIAS SNIPER (as you had already read it on Chapters 10, 24, and 25 here in Never Knew), then PLEASE VOTE FOR MY FANFIC!

Should you be interested to learn more about the fan fiction writing competition that I joined, do feel free to check out the following web addresses:

The Yu Yu Hakusho Subreddit at Reddit dot Com:
reddit DOT com SLASH r SLASH YuYuHakusho

The mechanics of the Yu Yu Hakusho Fanfiction Contest at Reddit:
reddit DOT com SLASH r SLASH YuYuHakusho SLASH comments SLASH 3femaj SLASH announcing UNDERSCORE the UNDERSCORE yu UNDERSCORE yu UNDERSCORE hakusho UNDERSCORE fanfiction UNDERSCORE contest SLASH
Or its shortcut link:
redd DOT it SLASH 3femaj

The list of all six (6) submitted fanfic entries:
reddit DOT com SLASH r SLASH YuYuHakusho SLASH comments SLASH 3i5toz SLASH yu UNDERSCORE yu UNDERSCORE hakusho UNDERSCORE fanfiction UNDERSCORE contest UNDERSCORE voting SLASH
Or its shortlink:
redd DOT it SLASH 3i5toz

[Below the list of all six submitted fanfic entries, you can find the link that leads to the voting page.]

Or, you can just go straight to the VOTING PAGE itself, at:
surveymonkey DOT com SLASH r SLASH 8JW695T

My fanfic, entitled Descent into the Darkness: The Fall of the Sniper, is the fifth one on the list.
(Or… the second to the last one on the list.
Please, don't let the other two fanfics entitled "The Fall of [insert canon YYH character name here]" trick your eyes.
Yes. It just so happened that two other fan fiction authors-slash-contestants and I thought along what seemed to be the same lines when we slapped titles onto our respective fanfics.)

But please hurry—time is of the essence.

VOTING ENDS TOMORROW, the 31st of August 2015, at 11:59 P.M. Eastern Standard Time (EST).

And the winner will be announced the very next day.

So yeah.
Your every vote matters to me.

In all honesty, I don't actually have my "eyes on the prize" or anything like that.

I just thought that it would be nice to try my hand at something like this—even just once in my life.

But I really would love to win. Hopefully.

Since I've been such a disappointment and a failure at every project, pursuit, and endeavor that I've taken on this year, I just want to actually succeed at something again.

Of course, whatever the outcome of this fan fiction contest will turn out to be, I'll accept it graciously and take it with a grain of salt—as well as the spirit of sportsmanship of our Gamemaster, Amanuma Tsukihito.
(After all, despite his faults, the kid is a pretty good sport. For one, he always shakes his every opponent's hand before every game.)

But still. I really would love to win this. Hopefully.

*crosses all my fingers and toes in childlike wonder and hope*

EDIT (as of the 3rd of September 2015):

UPDATE: Good, happy news!

My fan fiction contest entry ACTUALLY WON~! *\(^o^)/*

THANK YOU VERY MUCH for all your help, as well as your words of kindness, encouragement, and support!

I LOVE YOU ALL~!

And to everyone who took the time and the trouble to submit reviews for Chapters 24, 25, and 26 (and in the case of some of you, even more chapters than those):
THANK YOU—all of you—for your uplifting thoughts, praise, encouragement, and support.

I'm so sorry that I wasn't able to include my responses to your reviews herein. In all actuality, I had already typed them all out the first time that I composed Chapter 27, but when my former laptop conked out on me, I lost every single word.

So I am now in the process of answering you—all of you—all over again.

And to those among you to whom I have not yet sent my little "token of appreciation"—either the "snippet" or the "snapshot," just to refresh your memory—for reviewing all three of the most recent chapters that I posted:
I AM SO SORRY for my delay.
I lost even those during Mikage-chan's Devastating Laptop Crash of 2015.
I apologize for disappointing you, too.

All the same, please rest assured that you will get to read my responses to your reviews—the ones that I am now writing a second time—when I post the real Chapter 27.

Please look out for it by this coming 18th of September 2015.

Why the 18th of September, you ask?

Because just like today, that date is actually pretty special to me, too.

It's the (fictional) date of birth of the (just as fictional) human!Kiyoku—also known as Mayonaka Setsuki…!
(I mentioned this little factoid in Chapter 16 of Never Knew.
Go ahead—have a look see for yourself…!)

It may interest you to know that during the time I lost the will and motivation to (re)write Chapter 27, I decided to stop wasting precious time and start working on Chapter 28—and 29—and even 30!—instead.

And I am beyond happy to let you know that they are all coming along quite swimmingly.

I just have to completely flesh out Chapters 27 and 28—add some literary "gravy" to spruce up our staple "meat and potatoes" plot—and they will finally be good to go, ready for me to post in here (and for you to read in here, too).

I really hope that my sore eyes will heal soon—so that I can give Chapters 27 and 28 my all (with much less discomfort and strain than I am experiencing now), and so that I will be able to upload them by this coming 18th of September.

Please be on the lookout for that update, then!

Because once I upload the real Chapter 27, everything that you can read in here right now will no longer appear herein by then—since I will have already replaced all this with the real Chapter 27.

But for now…

Enjoy what this upload has to offer!

Dedication

I dedicate this "sneak peek" into the next future update of Never Knew to a certain someone—who already sent me a most touching, heartwarming birthday greeting earlier today. I need not mention who you are. Trust me—you'll know that it's you once you read the following scene.

As always… Happy reading~! \(^o^)/

"So this is what happens when I have your ki in me."

Suddenly, she stopped.

And without her even knowing it, the warm, rosy glow from both her cheeks gave her away.

"Man—that sounded so wrong…"

Setsu shook her head to herself.

And yet she was smiling now.

He now saw the truth in Koenma's words.

"Still, on the off chance that you're thinking you've encountered an Eternal, or maybe even know one," Koenma went on, just as knowingly—meaningfully—as before. "For the person you're thinking of to be an Eternal, he or she has to be able to withstand a tremendous amount of pain! After all, a mere human would never be able to take just how much raw data is stored into an Eternal's brain!"

And whatever strings were pulling up the corners of Setsu's lips—

I found her, Koenma.

And indeed.

Her threshold for pain…

—were now also tugging at his own.

… knows no limits.

His steps were long and light.

So light that she could not even hear him treading closer.

She could only sense him approaching her from behind.

Not once did she turn to face him—not even when he was a mere step away from her.

And right when he closed that last gap between their feet, she stepped forward—away from the shielding arch of his umbrella.

Just as she did when Hagiri Kaname first scooped her up and propped her upon the seat of his bicycle five years, three months, seventeen days, and six and a half hours ago, she also resisted him now.

She immediately regretted it.

Lowering her head in a futile attempt to conceal the furious, traitorous blush coloring her face, she finally whirled to face him, gathering what little courage she had within her just to meet his eyes.

And for a long, holy moment, without exchanging a single word, Kurama and Setsu gazed at each other from the distance under the cold, pouring rain.

She could still see him walking Kitajima Maya home—under the very umbrella that he now held up alone.

And the whole time that the two of you walked under the rain…

Your shoulder kept getting wet.

But you didn't mind—as long as she wasn't.

She herself was still a senior at Mushiyori Junior High School then. Back then, her yet-uncut hair and her uniform clung to her like second skin.

Her own hair was longer then—just the way that Hagiri Kaname liked it.

And his hair was shorter.

But over time, they had somehow traded places.

Her hair reached only the nape of her neck now—just the way that his did back then—and just the way that that he himself had cut it when they first met.

And he was now walking towards her.

Not walking with and alongside Kitajima—and away from her herself.

But towards her.

And no Hagiri Kaname was fast approaching them now.

He waited for her to speak.

After all, knowing her, she was bound to—any moment now.

"The rain is especially heavy tonight."

He said nothing. By now, he already understood that she always had a reason behind her every randomness.

"It must be final."

And in spite of his curiosity growing once more—as it always did whenever she so much as parted her lips—he still said nothing. By now, he could already tell that she had more to say.

"Sempai. Did you know…"

She spoke slowly, carefully, deliberating whether or not to continue.

"… that every single time he and I parted ways… it would rain?"

"If so…"

Blue eyes tore away from green.

She did not expect him to respond as immediately as he did.

"… did he ever return to you with an umbrella?"

Setsu froze.

He never did.

She needed not even answer his question aloud.

With a knowing smile, Kurama closed his eyes.

Perhaps he knew that even if he brought you one, you would refuse it anyway.

Just as you are doing right now.

"I appreciate your gesture, sempai." The ever-stubborn Setsu shook her head at him, her smile now gracious… grateful. "But I don't feel the need to separate myself from this rain in any way."

And there she was—leaving him with something new to think about at the end of the day, as she always did, every day that they were together. He already expected her to say: 'Think about it this way, onegai.'

But this time, she didn't.

"Shoes were invented because ningen don't trust the very earth that they stand upon and walk on. In the same way, umbrellas were invented because ningen cower and shy away from the rain."

Just then, he reopened his eyes to look at her.

Still the same, this ningen.

Such an outside point of view.

"Why not embrace them as they are instead? The earth and the rain."

And Kurama noticed it then.

Her choices of words were so… elegant… sometimes.

With that, she did exactly what she said—she allowed herself to be drenched, devoured, by the powerful, pouring rain.

She raised her hands toward the sorrowfully weeping night sky, letting every bead of rain freely run down her arms and trickle down every last inch of her face and her body.

Slowly, she closed her eyes, training her full and undivided focus, concentration, and attention on every needle of rain to prick her cheek. Every drop that kissed her skin. Every splash of cold that moistened her every pore.

When we were all younger than we are today…

As she savored each invigorating spell with the quiet need and appreciation of a nomadic wanderer who had languished in the hottest desert ever known for far too long, her mind drifted away.

… I used to fantasize while I was in the shower: that I was in some music video for some sentimental, sappy love song—and that my so-called character "role" involved me angsting under some waterfall while the endless gush of the water pelted my skin.

Suddenly, she chuckled at her own silliness.

This moment… feels just like standing under my shower.

And just like my fanciful fantasy of withstanding a powerful waterfall.

Cold, wet belts of water… whipping me… and washing everything away.

Without a word, he studied her—her drenched, wretched form—closely.

Her profile under the rain…

There was nothing else like it.

He watched the glistening crystal beads of rain race each other down the curves and contours of her face, mapping out her skin in a way that his eyes never had before.

Hagiri…

Did you come to love her…

… while watching her stand under the rain?

He caught himself wondering.

… crying…?

But the Mayonaka Setsuki who now stood before him and basked under the mid-autumn rain seemed so… happy.

Too bad.

All you saw were her eyes.

Never before had her dimples been this… deep.

Had you only looked at her lips…

… you would have seen her smiling under the rain.

When did that smile begin to disarm him?

Never again can you behold her this way.

Little did he know that she, too, was also reminiscing that fateful day.

Five years, three months, seventeen days, and six and a half hours ago…

You walked her home.

While he brought me to the hospital.

And she saw it—plain as day.

He saw me cry then.

But you… saw me smile.

They weren't the same.

Now…

It's just the two of us now.

As Setsu raised her hands even higher and straightened her fingers, her palm still facing the weeping night sky, engaged green eyes followed the thread-thin trail of rain and stale blood trickling down the length of her outstretched arms.

Just then, she twirled her entire body around the very spot that she was standing on, her already outstretched arms freely flailing by her sides—just as they did when they were once in the air, swinging through the trees of the Yukimi City Park in order to dodge the Sniper's makeshift projectiles.

This time, she didn't go "WEEEEEEEE~!" as she did then.

But he could hear her cooing it anyway.

Because she seemed to be having just as much fun now.

And without her uttering a single word, Kurama gained a tacit, timeless insight from her—right at that moment.

Happiness is not all about basking in the sunshine. One can also be happy while standing under… even dancing in… the rain.

And without him uttering a single word, he lowered the umbrella that he had been holding above his own head all this time… distanced the portable foldable canopy from his body… and closed his eyes as he exposed his entire being to the relentless rain, the endless pelt and pour of her wordless, wet party.

And right at that moment, Minamino Shuuichi's wildest, most nostalgic imagination returned to being the young fox he once was—the once-innocent, impressionable kit who felt the first touch of rain on his fur for the very first time in his life.

He didn't whirl and twirl in place like a madman as she did.

But Setsu loved the sight of him loosening his solid grip on his guard and his defenses, surrendering everything to the elements, and just… letting go.

Maybe some other ningen girl would want a guy who would hold an umbrella over her head… or place his jacket over a puddle, so that she won't step on it and get her shoes wet.

Or maybe even sweep her off her feet… and carry her through the puddle.

It was a good thing that his eyes were closed.

That way, he would not catch her smiling at him like an idiot.

But I appreciate someone who would join me in enjoying the rain.

Who would not mind getting wet.

And even see why I love it, myself.

She simply could not wipe that goofy giveaway grin off her face.

Right now, I just want to be here, in this moment: the rain pouring down… hair clinging to our faces… clothes clinging to our bodies… and us… not necessarily clinging to each other…

… but still together, in our own way.

Just you… me… and the rain.

As she admired him in his quiet beauty, a breathlessly awed Setsu wondered to herself.

What does rain mean to you, Minamino Shuuichi?

What worth does it hold for a master chlorokinetic like you?

Can you hear voices… the voices of the living flora in your midst? Do young, budding plants call out to you, singing their praises and gratitude for the rain?

Unopened buds that finally receive enough nourishment and gain the courage to bloom… Can you feel them?

Just then, he tilted his chin up to face the still-weeping night sky, his moistened crimson forelocks kissing the already damp skin on his forehead and framing his face. Her breath caught in her throat.

Those raindrops trickling down your face… as beautiful as the dew of morning on the petals of a rose.

She curled her fingers together and clenched them against her palms, vigorously resisting all sinful temptation to capture his face between her hands, caress his cheeks, and cradle him to her heart.

You are a red rose in the darkness of the night.

Let the sky water you, for you to grow even more—and even more beautiful—than you already are.

A/N—again
(Right in the middle of nowhere)
[Sorry—I know that this is an ultimate no-no in fan fiction writing. But please let me get away with this, even just this one time. This serves as a very crucial scene "break," you see.]

But while Setsu resisted doing so, later on into the chapter, Kurama actually did it.

"Since you and I first met, you've always seemed all too ready to bid me farewell."

Had this never caught her notice?

"I always thought I was never going to see you again."

She said nothing.

All he could do was read her silence.

"It may interest you to know—he demanded that I stay away from you as well."

She still said nothing.

He went on anyway.

"I refused."

Only then did he see it. Something stirred in her eyes.

"I have no obligation to him—to obey him, or to submit to his will or whim."

Did she still stand by her word?

Did she still want him to leave?

"And now that I have seen for myself that he is fully capable of pointing the barrel of a gun at you, all the more will I choose not to walk away."

Walk away, sempai. Onegai.

She hung her head low, afraid of what forbidden emotion her eyes would betray to his own.

I don't want anyone else coming after you any more.

She sank her upper teeth into her bottom lip, her metaphorical invisible muzzle once again at work and clamping her mouth shut.

What you wanted Kitajima-san to do for you before…

… I ask the same of you now.

And because she still hung her head low, she failed to notice him bridging, and soon closing, the distance between them.

Slowly for him, yet suddenly for her, his fingers reached for her face.

Slowly for him, yet suddenly for her, his fingers reached for her face.

His hand…

As he cupped her cheek in his hand, she felt the smooth silk of his skin against her own.

… feels like home.

He navigated carefully.

Lightly, almost weightlessly, his fingers grazed her chin, taking pains never to brush against her lips—for they were Hagiri Kaname's.

Kurama winced to himself.

Even after all had been said and done…

They were still Hagiri Kaname's.

Starting from the soft line of her jaw, he glided his thumb up, tracing one particularly warm streak of rain trickling down her cheek.

And from the warmth of that particular streak and trickle of rain, he could easily tell that it did not come from not so blue skies.

But all too blue eyes.

She could not believe it.

Don't…

She had underestimated the size of his hand.

Against her cheek, his square palm felt as large as his fingers were long yet slender… sinewy.

… touch anyone else this way, Minamino Shuuichi.

You're exposing your wrist to someone else's teeth.

Someone else can easily hurt a vulnerable part of you.

Starting from the soft line of her jaw, he glided his thumb up, tracing one particularly warm streak of rain trickling down her cheek, stealthily yet successfully wiping her inconspicuous, invisible tear away.

But you can trust that I won't.

Her rain-soaked eyelashes tickled the tip of his thumb.

While the hollow of her cheek molded to the fleshy pad of his palm, the plumper curve of her cheek conformed just as well to the flatter contour of his palm.

Since when did her face fit so perfectly in his hand…?

He felt her lips, thin yet tender, tremble against his wrist.

The tremble of a virgin.

He asked as his hand slowly, gently lifted her face higher...

Do you fear...

… and closer, ever closer, to his own.

… the touch of a man…?

And just as slowly, he closed his eyes.

I do not fear the touch of any man.

She answered as his hand slowly, gently lifted her face higher…

Only yours…

… and closer, ever closer, to his own.

… wields such power over me.

And just as slowly, she closed her eyes.

To be continued—in my next update
(On the 18th of September 2015)

Disclaimer
The characters and character information found herein are loosely based on the side story Twelve Frightened People, as found in pages 5 to 8 of the Memorial Book for the Completion of Yu Yu Hakusho (YYH) entitled Yoshi-rin de Pon!, a YYH doujinshi by YYH creator Togashi Yoshihiro.

A/N—yet again
Have you already discovered the pure, unadulterated glory of Togashi-sama's shocking, scandalous, eyeball-burning YYH doujin, which he (quite narcissistically) entitled Yoshi-rin de Pon!? (I call it a "narcissistic" title since it contains the "Yoshi" from Togashi-sama's first name in it.)

If you haven't, then go read it. And this too, of course.

Just a heads-up: The crack fic below is in script form. (Yeah, I know that the authorities of FF dot Net will have my head and roast it on a spit for this. Then again, this won't be on this webpage for long, anyway…) You'll understand why soon enough. ^-^;

Genres
Parody (I think). Humor (or crack. Or a pathetic attempt at it). And just a liiittle Romance. (I think. ^^;;;)

Warnings
OOC-ness. Major OOC-ness ensues here. It's kind of the whole point of this.
Oh, and unexpected pairings, too.

Random A/N
I ship a lot of 'KxS' pairings.
Kunimitsu x Syuusuke… Kurama x Setsu… Kasumi x Satoshi…

THE KURAMA WHOM KURAMA NEVER KNEW: Behind the Scenes

Nami : YA-HOO~! Welcome, one and all, to the "Behind the Scenes" footage of Yu Yu Hakusho: Kurama no Zenzen Shiranakatta Kurama! I'm your one and only hostess with the mostest, the beautiful and lovely Ichihara Mayuko deeesu~!

Setsu : *blushes* A… *looks down and stammers* Anou… Ichihara-san. I… will also host today's episode. If you don't mind.

Nami : *eyes widen* No frickin' way! Nobody told me I was getting a partner for this! *looks around* I didn't get the memo, people!

Setsu : A-And… ah… If I may remind you, Minami-kantoku specifically directed that we remain in character for our first few minutes of introduction.

Nami : *winces* Shit—I totally forgot! *turns back to camera* Hi, guys! I play Akasaki Minaku—also known as the beautiful and lovely Nami!—in Kurama no Zenzen Shiranakatta Kurama! *salutes* Ichihara Mayuko deeesu~!

Setsu : *shrugs nonchalantly* Ne. Mayonaka Setsuki here. *folds hands together* *bows to audience* My warmest greetings to you all. My name is Sekiguchi Kasumi. I play the role of Mayonaka Setsuki.

Nami : Yeah, Kasumi here's the shy type in real life! Don't let her on-screen character fool ya guys—she's a shrinking-violet prim-and-proper girly-girly Mary Sue-y lady! Why don'tcha take off your wig and contacts and show them what you really look like, Kasumi?

Setsu : Ah. O… Okay. *lifts cropped brown wig off head* *jet black hair tumbles all the way down past waist* Now this… *pops light blue contact lenses off eyes* *mousy brown eyes blink*

Nami : You see, our casting director, who also just so happens to be our director-director—if you know what I mean—likes pulling off the impossible. See what I mean? Kasumi here looks perfect for the role of Nami! And I'm a natural brunette! *points to caramel-colored roots of hair at own scalp* I should have been Setsu! But NOOOOO! He just had to switch our roles! Well, it's every-frickin'-body's loss but mine! HA!

Setsu : *sweatdrops* It may interest you to know that our director is none other than Minami Eishirou-san, who also plays the role of Hagiri Kaname.

Nami : Che! I get the feeling Minami-kantoku just wanted to do his kissing scenes with his beloved Kaaasuuumiii here—and that's why she got Setsu! Damn princess-like pretty girls—always getting the finer things in life!

Setsu : Ichihara-san, this isn't a good time to cry over spilled milk—

Nami : Oh, look who sounds like her character now! Che!

Setsu : *sighs* Everyone, would you like to meet the rest of the cast? *ushers the camera to an actor getting his face puffed with glitter powder* This is Tendo Satoshi-san.

Kurama : *looks at camera while getting glitter-powdered by make-up artists* Hn.

Setsu : Tendo-san, do you have a few words for our audience tonight?

Kurama : *glares* Hmph.

Setsu : *sweatdrops* Tendo-san plays the human form of the character Kurama, named Minamino Shuuichi-san.

Kurama : They already knew that, Sekiguchi.

Setsu : H… Hai. *shrinks* Did you know that Tendo-san's real hair color is black? And that his real eye color is violet? Tendo-san, since we can't wash off your hair dye at the moment, would you care to show our audience how you appear without contact lenses?

Kurama : *glares* No.

Setsu : *deflated* O-oh… *defeated* All right, then…

Nami : These two have absolutely no chemistry whatsoever. And I don't see how they can! Satoshi-kun's dating Nao-chan! And that little "fling" between our Director Minami and Sekiguchi? It's for reel and for real!

Kurama : *grunts* Pathetic.

Setsu : *glances over at their director* Hon—honey… They said it… I couldn't stop them—

Kaname : *off-camera* No prob, love! Keep rolling!

Kuwabara : *looks up from his book* *pushes glasses up nose bridge* Well, the general public was bound to discover your real-life relationships sooner or later… I would not fret, if I were you…

Nami : *O.O* You are so not in your character, Tsuruoka.

Kaitou : Hey, beautiful! Y' talkin' t' me?

Nami : Oh, get lost!

Setsu : *sweatdrops* Ah. As you can all see, this is growing complicated. We have two Tsuruokas on set with us. Tsuruoka Nobukuni-san plays Kuwabara Kazuma, while his twin brother Nobuyuki-san plays Kaitou Yuu.

Hiei : *looks up from under brim of baseball cap* *blinks innocently* *tiny voice* They confuse me.

Setsu : And this little cutie here is Tateoka Mamoru-kun. Mamoru-kun, please take off your cap so they can see how cute you are with your hair down…

Hiei : *blush* *takes cap off*

Setsu : *softly, shyly squeals over his cuteness* Thank you, Mamoru-kun. *turns back to camera* He is the second youngest actor we have on set. He just doesn't look his age on the show because they buff him up with latex muscles. He also sounds older on the show because seiyuu Hiyama Nobuyuki-san does the voice of his character.

Hiei : *blinks innocently* *tinier voice* Nobuyuki… That's the first name of one of the Tsuruokas, isn't it? I'm still confused. One of the Tsuruoka twins is the mortal enemy of my character, and the other Tsuruoka stole the soul of my character in one episode because my character was careless. But I still can't tell them apart.

Yusuke : That's easy, kiddo! Jus' remember—one of 'em's a total smart-ass, an' th' other one's a birdbrain!

Setsu : And that was Shinjou Youhei, actor of Urameshi Yusuke. His character and mine can't stand each other.

Yusuke : *clicks his tongue twice* But mebbe things'd be a whole lot diff'rent if y' were a blondie! *quirks brows suggestively*

Kurama : *sighs* Chasing skirts again. Hmph.

Kuwabara : *looks up from book* For your sake, Shinjou, I hope by "birdbrain" you were in no way referring to me.

Kaitou : What the dingdong? My character could outsmart yer character any day o' the week, brother dear! *harrumphs*

Shizuru : *takes a sip of tea* *pinkie raised like royalty* Ahhh. How delightful to hear Kuwabara Kazuma's actual brother call him "brother dear." I've grown so accustomed to saying it myself. *laughs lightly to self* Ahahaha.

Setsu : And this is the elegant Sakata Sayo-san, who plays Kuwabara Shizuru.

Hiei : *blinks innocently* *even tinier voice* I'm still confused.

Keiko : Just remember, Mamoru-kun: the "Kuni" in "Nobukuni" begins with the letter K, and so do "Kuwabara Kazuma," so Nobu-kuni plays Kuwabara.

Setsu : Sagae Rika-chan, everyone. She plays Yukimura Keiko. No… She is Yukimura Keiko.

Keiko : And the "Yuki" in "Nobuyuki" begins with a Y, so Nobu-yuki plays Kaitou Yuu, which also begins with a Y. Got it?

(Baby) Koenma : *talking through pacifier* Buth "Kaitou" begins wif a K, too!

Hiei : *blinks innocently* *ridiculously tiny voice* I'm still confused…

Yusuke : *scratches own head* Me too.

(Baby) Koenma : Me fwee!

Hiei and (Baby) Koenma : *cry in each other's arms*

Setsu : And this second cutie pie is Yonezawa Tatsuya-chan, our youngest actor. He plays the Spirit World form of Prince Koenma, the baby.

(Adult) Koenma : And I play his older version. Salutations. Funagata Naoto. My pleasure.

Setsu : Did you know that Funagata-san here has a double role in Yu Yu Hakusho? When he isn't playing the adult Koenma, he also cameos as the demon form of Kurama, Youko Kurama-san.

Kurama : You keep saying my character's name, Sekiguchi. *glares* Stop that.

Setsu : *getting nervous* Go… Gomen nasai, Tendo-san…

Yukina : *pops up from out of nowhere* Somebody called for me?

Setsu : *whirls to face Yukina* Ah, n-no, Tendo-san—

Kurama : *glares* Stop it. NOW.

Setsu : *whirls to face Kurama* —I-I mean Tendo-san… *sighs* This beautiful lady here is also Tendo-san. Tendo Miho-san. She is Satoshi-san's sister in real life.

Yukina : And yet I play the sister of Hiei. Riot, huh? No, don't answer that. Me and Toshi here are like the Maggie and Jake Gyllenhaal of Japan, y' know. Brother-sister team. Talent obviously runs in our family.

Kuwabara : Apparently, so does insufferable arrogance.

Yukina : I wasn't talkin' to you, word nerd!

Kuwabara : Oh, for how much longer must I remain under the pretense that my character harbors some elementary schoolboy interest in yours?

Yukina : *didn't understand anything* What the—? In your dreams, asswipe.

Kuwabara : No, Tendo. I would not even dream of it.

Kaname : *off-camera* CUT! Cut it out, you two! Or we'll edit you outta here!

Setsu : Please, calm down, honey… Don't strain yourself…

Kaname : *thumbs up* No sweat, love. I'm good.

Kurama : *glares*

Setsu : *whispers toward camera* As you can see, Tendo Satoshi-san is more like the character of Hiei than Mamoru-kun is. But we must remain patient. *smiles the Setsu way* *dimples surface* Ne?

Genkai : Hello, Setsuki.

Setsu : Ah! Hello to you as well, Setsuko-san! *laughs* Sakegawa Setsuko-san here plays the veteran martial arts fighter Genkai!

Genkai : It's a miracle, acting at this age. I'm lucky just to remember the name of your character, Setsuki.

Nami : Of course it's easy to remember, gran'ma! It's jus' one letter different from your name, y' old hag!

Setsu : *sweatdrops* A… Anou… If I may, Setsuko-san, my name is Kasumi. My character's name is Setsuki. But my name is Kasumi.

Kurama : Must you state the obvious again and again, Sekiguchi? *grits teeth* *seethes*

Setsu : *getting more and more agitated* Go—Gomen nasai, Tendo-san…

Kurama : I've had it up to here with you and your nicey-nicey and your "honey" lovey-dovey smoochie-smoochie with Minami! Every time you call me "Minamino-sempai," you think of him!

Nami : *spots someone with open packet of cigarettes approaching from the distance* *evil gleam in eye* Oh, ho, hoh… Nao-chan's coming! This should be good! *evil laugh*

Setsu : Go—Gomen nasai, Tendo-san… It's just that I… can't say "Minamino-sempai" fully without saying "Minami," so I can't… I can't help myse—

Kurama : Gahddammit, woman. *pulls her into a kiss*

Kaname : *rises from and topples Director's chair* KASUMI!

Botan : *crushes near-empty cigarette pack into tight fist* SATOSHI!

Kurama : *gives both name screamers the middle finger while continuing the kiss anyway*

Botan : *lunges towards them* You are in SOOO much trouble, buster! *cracks knuckles* You're in for a wooorrrld of pain!

Kaname : *lunges towards them* CUT! CUT! CUUUUUUUUT~!

Keiko : Somehow I don't think they're shooting a scene right now, though.

Yusuke : Ever heard of blonde hair dye, Rika? Try it sometime! Mebbe Yusuke'd pull off a 'Kurama' too an' kiss ya!

Keiko : Oh, shut up, Yusuke—!

Yusuke : *scoffs at Keiko's mistake* Heh!

Keiko : —I mean Youhei!

Nami : *watches Kaname and Botan prying Kurama and Setsu apart with a "you-all-deserve-it" grin on her face* Serves you right for bagging the role that should've been mine!

Kaitou : *inches closer to her* Aw, c'mon, Mayu! Ain't it enough that I'm crazy for ya, babe?

Nami : Go screw yourself.

Kaitou : Sure thing! I'll even think of ya… *goes away with a wink*

Maya : *enters with a sigh* Alas, woes betide the women who fall prey to the charms of Tendo Satoshi. I should know. My character has far from learned her lesson. *breaks out of Broadway musical character* Hey. Tsukamoto Hikaru's the name; Kitajima Maya's the game. And that violent chick strangling the life out of Kasumi over there? Oishida Nao, a.k.a. Botan.

(Adult) Koenma : *leans in* *gives her a peck* Wuv you, sweet.

Maya : *pecks back* Wuv you, heart. *faces camera* Yes, the series was wrong. Maya likes demon Kurama.

(Adult) Koenma : And now you all know why you've never seen a "Behind the Scenes" footage from us. Our director did not want you to see all this epic fail.

Nami : Che! If I'd been cast as Setsu, then we wouldn't be having this problem at all!

The end
(Whew!)

P.S.
Did you know that in Yoshi-rin de Pon!, Togashi-sama (finally!) revealed the first name of Toguro the Younger?

[SPOILER ALERT]
It's Misaki.

(Such a hulk of a man—such a girly name! XD)

Oh, and you have never seen him dressed in YYH canon the way he is in YdP!. Trust me—as soon as you catch sight of him, you will want to un-see him… for the rest of your life. THE (EYEBALL-BURNING) HORROR~!
[/SPOILER ALERT]

[shameless plug—of two fanfics that truly deserve the love]

While waiting for my next update to arrive (on the 18th of September), do check out the following companion fics to this little fanfic of mine!

The Kurama whom Kurama Never Knew: Through SSA Javier Grey P.I's Eyes
This is The Kurama whom Kurama Never Knew as you have never read before! Get an up-close, in-depth glimpse behind the untold secrets, unveiled truths, and missing snippets that deserve a rightful place in the long-running Kurama x OC novel where Kurama cracks his most intimate case yet—as told by a reader who artfully unravels and reweaves the tapestry of his love story. Enjoy!
fanfiction DOT net SLASH s SLASH 11160421 SLASH 1

And try this one on for size:

Nose In A Book by SSA Javier Grey P.I
A genderbent oneshot based on The Kurama whom Kurama Never Knew. Male!Mayonaka Setsuki X Female!Kurama. "Here exists Love… The greatest kind of order… It binds otherwise meandering lives…" The chance meeting of boy and a girl never destined to meet. Yet will not allow Fate to stop them from doing so.
fanfiction DOT net SLASH s SLASH 11391284 SLASH 1

[/shameless plug—of two fanfics that truly deserve the love]