Disclaimer – I don't own Artemis Fowl.

My First Pimple

I stared at the mirror in shock. A pimple? On me? Impossible. I'm a genius. I know how to avoid pimples. I'd exfoliated and properly washed my face the night before. Yet there it was. A big, red, ugly thing on my right cheek. There had to be some way to hide it. I couldn't let Butler see it, it was so ugly. Lately I'd been strangely nervous around Butler. I worried about how I looked around him, whether he noticed if I looked nice in what I was wearing. I'd recently spent half an hour of my valuable time wondering if he thought I was attractive.

I moaned slightly at my reflection. The pimple looked disgusting and silly. Butler would be checking up on me any minute now, making sure assassins hadn't killed me while I slept. He liked to keep to schedule so I knew I only had around five minutes left to find a solution.

I dropped to my knees and opened the doors to the bathroom cupboard then began searching around; leaving a mess everywhere I looked. The more I looked the more desperate I became. I couldn't find anything. Shaving foam? No, the pimple wasn't in the right area. It would look ridiculous to shave that high up. Band-Aid? No, Butler would insist on checking the wound for any sign of infection. My mother owned make up but that was all in her bathroom at the other end of the hallway.

I stopped my frantic searching. I could hear Butler's footsteps; he was walking down the hall to my room. In my panic I didn't think. I ran out of my bathroom to my bedroom door, slammed it shut, and then locked it. I heard Butler's pace quicken. He'd heard me slam the door. I could've killed myself, why was I acting so stupid? I was acting like a teenager with a crush. I was better than that, smarter than that.

"Artemis," Butler said, "Open the door!"

"Calm yourself Butler," I said. "There's no reason to panic. Everything is fine."

"Then why won't you open the door?" Butler asked.

"I need some time to myself," I said. "Nothing more than that."

"If that were true you wouldn't of slammed the door," Butler said. "You never slam doors. Now open the door or I'll knock it down."

I sighed. I know Butler's my bodyguard but does he have to be so overprotective.

"Fine," I said, "I'll open the door." I felt like cursing at him but I try not to use vulgar language.

As Butler entered the room I turned away and refused to look at him.

"Thank you for unlocking the door," he said. "Is everything alright?"

"Yes," I said, my voice sarcastic, "Everything's perfect. Absolutely fine and dandy. Now go away."

He didn't believe me. I wonder why.

"Artemis, look at me," he said gently. "What's wrong?"

He put a hand on my shoulder and turned me around to face him. I closed my eyes as one of his huge hands reached out to touch my cheek where the pimple was.

"A pimple," he said. He sounded surprised, and then he chuckled. "All this over a pimple."

I felt my face heat up. I turned away from Butler, disgusted with emotions. Butler was laughing at me. For some reason his laughter hurt more than any physical pain. I couldn't quite comprehend it. I'd never felt this humiliated before.

Butler must have noticed the look on my face. "Hey," he said, "Don't worry. Pimples are natural. You should know that."

"I do know that," I said, "But I look ridiculous."

"No you don't," Butler said, "You look good. You always look good."

"You think I look good," I said.

"Of course," Butler said. He smiled reassuringly at me.

"Well," I said, "I think you're very attractive."

"Oh, uh, thanks," Butler said. "I'd better go now, I have work to do." He started to make his way to the door.

"Butler, wait," I said. He turned to me and before he could say anything I kissed him. After a small moment of hesitation Butler wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer, deepening our kiss. Eventually we pulled apart from each other and I smiled at Butler.

"It seems this puberty thing isn't so bad after all," I said.

"I couldn't agree with you more," Butler said.

A/N – Tada! My first proper Artler story. This would be awesome if it didn't completely suck. I fail at life. I'm going to go live in a pit of despair now.