A/N: I don't have much internet time, so when I do I tend to take advantage of it.

The inspiration for this fic? I was in Civics class, and since we're relatively close to 'Picksburgh', we had a Pittsburghese lesson. It was pretty damn funny. So I googled Pittsburghese (did you know some Pittsburgh museums sell Pittsburghese dictionaries?) and there's an honest-to-goodness Pittsburghese dot com, with a real English-to-Pittsburghese translator. And with the G-20 coming up I figured Alfred would be spending quite a bit of time in Pittsburgh. So he'd have to start speaking Pittsburghese. I don't speak it except for a few words here and there or if I'm trying to bother people, but a lot of people in my family do and it's Goddamn annoying. I didn't mean to offend anyone, and if I did, just buck up. Seriously, Americans are way too easily offended. And I will make a fic about that, don't you worry. But if you're a Pittsburgher and get offended when made fun of, I suggest you press that little back button. Or go watch porn instead. I don't really care. I just figured Pittsburghese would be one of Alfred's least favorite ways of speaking, (because Lord knows how many different ways of speaking there are in America) and that's why he was blushing. I dunno.

Warnings: Pittsburghese bashing, foul language, the fact that I don't provide translations, and implied US/UK at the end. And I think this is my shortest fic ever, OMGZZ!!! And yeah, this is my first bit of crack. Do enjoy!

Disclaimer: Same as always. I don't own APH or its various nouns. Nor do I own the countries themselves. But that would kick major ass. Just sayin'.

When America walked into the meeting, everyone knew something was off.

"Hey, how're yinz doone?" he asked cheerily.

Romano was the first to speak up. "What… the hell…?"

"Haven't you butchered my language enough?!" England spat.

"Wha're yinz talkin' abaht?" Alfred asked, confused.

"What is that hideous language you're speaking?!"

"Language?" Alfred seemed confused. "Wha language?"

"THAT ONE!" England shouted.

"God, don't be so nebby, Iggy!"

This was definitely going to be a long meeting.

After the meeting, England cornered America and dragged him into an empty room.

"What the hell was that?" he spat.

"Wha da hell was wha?" America countered absently in that God-awful butchered language of his.

"No one could understand a bloody word you were saying, you git!" England snarled.

"Yeah, and yinzes one to talk?" America retorted. "No one can understand yinzes Goddamn British slang."

"See!" England exclaimed. "That's what I'm talking about! All that 'yinzes' crap has got to fucking stop!"

"Yinzes?"

"You've been saying things like 'yinz' and 'yinzes' and 'nebby' and 'abaht' and 'wha' and it's bloody annoying!" England all but shouted.

America simply blinked in confusion. "I have? Rilly?"

"YOU JUST BLOODY DID IT AGAIN YOU SODDING WANKER!" England shouted angrily.

America seemed lost in thought for a moment, then said, "Wait a minute, wah kind of tings have I been saying, exactly?"

"Things like that!" England said, a little more calmly. "And it's getting annoying, so quit it."

Alfred shook his head. "No, yinz hafta gimme an example. Otherwise I'll have no idea wha yer talkin' about. I dint know I was talkin' different 'til ya pointed it out."

England sighed. "Fine." He thought for a second, then said, "During the meeting you said something along the lines of, 'I'm a hero and yinz are alls my backup!' as per usual."

America thought for a second, then his eyes widened. "Donkey-doo, I dink I know wah's gowen on!"

"Hm?" England asked.

America, blushing profusely, said, "Woll, da G-20 is gowen in Picksburg, and I've been spending a lot of time dere, and so I guess... I guess Picksburgese has sort of become my default language. Cuz wheneverever I go somewhere in America, my speech changes so I fit in."

England pieced what America had said together in his head. "So… you're saying that the G-20 is in Pittsburgh, so you've been spending a lot of time there… And… Wait a sodding minute, Pittsburgh has its own language?!"

"Sadly," America muttered.

"And how much longer can we expect you to speak like this?" England asked faintly.

"I dunno… a month or two?" America responded. "Depends on how much time I spend in Picksburgh."

"Oh, God…" England muttered, turning a slight shade of green. He didn't know how much longer he could take this…

"Iggy?" America asked warily, afraid to say anything else. However, he just couldn't keep his mouth shut. "Are yinz Oakel-Doakel?"

Suddenly, England got a determined look on his face and grabbed America by the sleeve, dragging him resolutely out the door.

"Wh –" America started, but England cut him off.

"No. Don't talk until I get you far away from 'Picksburgh' and somewhere much more tolerable… God, I think I even prefer the south!"

"Wheres abahts are yinz taking me?" America asked.

England only walked faster. "Anywhere in America that isn't Goddamn Pittsburgh! Because I swear to God Alfred, if you don't lose that ridiculous way of speech, I will never sleep with you again!"

Fin