Descent

Chapter One

The new day dawned bright and clear as the towers and turrets of Hogwarts sparkled in the sunlight. All Minerva could think was that Albus' eyes would have sparkled too, touching her with warmth and joy just as the sun sparkled. Angrily Minerva pushed the thought from her mind, commanded the image to begone. She didn't want to forget Albus but remembering him hurt so much, intensifying the emptiness that engulfed her to an unbearable level. Once they both would have smiled to see the sun paint the castle with glory, now Minerva felt as though she would never smile again unless it were a brave pretence, a facade to reassure those who cared for her. Albus would have smiled though, he would have had the courage she lacked. He would have smiled though it cost him his soul and his smiles would have strengthened those around him, giving them the will to carry on.

It was almost unthinkable that never again would she see Albus' merrily beaming face, the smile that lit up his whole soul and shone like a beacon even in the darkest of times. Never again would she feel his hand in her's or lie with him together. Unthinkable unbelievable but true. His body lying shattered and broken on the ground that dreadfull night, devoid of life force, of everything that had made Albus himself. The dull eyes that would never twinkle again, the deathly palor of his face, the lips set in a death grimace that would never beam radiantly at her ever again. How long had she knelt stunned by his side that night ? As the numbness crept into her soul, and her life, her world collapsed around her.

At first the days had been filled with numbness and coldness, the formalities of the funeral, but now all that was done and the rest of the world seemed ready to carry on with their lifes once more. Only Minerva felt left behind isolated, unable to just go on despite her best efforts. The students had gone home for the summer only the staff remained. Hogwarts seemed cold and empty in a way that it never had when Albus still lived. Summer had been their special time a few precious weeks when they could be alone together, now the halls echoed with emptiness and the walls were of cold hard stone like her heart.

Work and books no longer gave her solace, the words of friends were meaningless to her, it was as though she barely heard them. Minerva's chambers felt like a prison cell as grief closed in around her. The absence of Albus was more than she could bear, the more she held herself rigid the more she feared to break. Each item that surrounded Minerva was a cruel reminder of her loss, the room vibrated with the essence of him till she had to escape. She was alone now. There was no one to hold her tight soothing her troubles away with tender kisses and twinkling eyes, that banished her cares and tempted smiles to her lips.

A sweep of her arm sent the scrolls falling to the floor unheeded as the chair crashed back nearly toppling over, and Minerva fled the bitter torment of her chambers to pace the grounds of Hogwarts, as she had done so often these last days.

All that long day Minerva walked the grounds refusing all entreaties to take food or rest, oblivious to the worried murmurings and concerned glances of her friends and fellow Professors. The day passed agonisingly slowly as she waited for the blessed relief of sleep, that would only come when she was exhausted. Only then could she collapse into her lonely bed and rest. If only she could sleep forever and never have to wake again, never again have to face that agonising moment between slumber and waking when forgetting, she would reach for Albus just as she used to reach for him when he still lived.

As the day drew to a close and the cloudless summer sky turned twilight blue, Minerva stared at the slender new moon in the sky. This should be a time for new hope, new life. Instead her heart was bereft of hope and joy, shrouded in ice as it had been ever since the light in her world went out, ever since Albus fell from the tower.

Was it weakness from lack of food that made her think that his voice whispered to her on the cool night breeze ? Haunting words in the night, just on the edge of hearing, unintelligible - the wind in the trees or something more ? The softest of caresses on her arm, soft and so familliar like the gentle breath of air, the touch of a lover.

"Albus ..." Minerva murmured as her heart lept with new hope and joy, that was soon smothered by the familliar coldness that had engulfed her ever since he fell. Angrily she wrenched her arm away and pressed it rigidly against her side. "I don't believe in shadows in the dark." Minerva snapped, as though she tried to convince herself fully of this half truth.

"But you do believe in me ..." Albus' voice on the breeze. A whisper in her ear, a soft familliar caress on her skin, it was just the wind, just whispers on the wind tormenting her, cruel tricks of her imagination. A featherlight ethereal touch of her hand, scarcely to be heard words that seemed to be within her mind, yet also to be of the darkening skies. "Help me Minerva you have to help me ..."

Minerva spun round, staring desperately into the empty twilight that was suddenly devoid of stars and moon. Then she was falling away from him spinning downwards through a spiral of darkness. Reaching out her hand as she fell, his name bursting from her lips begging him to save her, to draw her back to him. Albus' name echoed back to Minerva from the silence that surrounded her, as darkness closed in around her, and she fell for what seemed like an eternity.

Author's Notes

This story has been floating around on my hard drive for several months while I tried to decide whether or not to publish it. It is far darker than most things I write, which is partly why I wrote it. I wanted to challenge myself to write in a different style, try something new. Finally I've decided to be brave lol and publish it, despite my own doubts about it. ;) It's also quite difficult to write as it is so dark, and I have to put myself in that mind set. I have a few more chapters on my hard drive (in rough form) and will publish them over the next few weeks. If people seem to like them or be interested in them, then I will continue the story.

So if you do like this story please review and let me know. :) Then I shall be inspired to continue. ;)