Author's note: Just something that came to me one day. Besides, I figured we need a Drakken-and-Shego story on here that's not a romance. (I can't be the only one who sees them as having more of a brother/sister relationship, can I?)

I'm new here, so please be gentle; no flames.

Rating: PG. (No real violence; some blood, but nothing graphic)

"And with this shampoo, your hair, too, can look just like this model's!"

Yeah, right. And I'm the queen of England.

Flip.

"I love you, you love me, we're a happy family..."

Barf.

Flip.

"You get the be-ee-est of both worlds..."

Double barf.

Flip.

"And our latest exercise machine is guaranteed to make you lose weight twice as fast as the competitors!"

Shego snorted and glanced at the empty donut box shoved all the way down to the bottom of the trash can next to her - all that remained after his breakfast. If someone could figure out a way to package her employer's metabolism, they'd be filthy, stinking rich.

Flip.

"...this latest gizmo will make life so much easier for you and the people you care about!"

Shego snorted again and flipped the TV right off. Right. The people she cared about. Not that it was a very long list. Only four people were on it besides herself, and she would never admit to anyone who those four people were.

She sighed and rearranged herself on the couch. Nothing good was on TV. She'd already filed her nails and read the latest issue of Villains magazine three times. She couldn't really think of anything else to do, since Drakken had shooed her out of his lab, claiming that genius worked best in silence. He was working on his latest evil plan - something about hypnotizing the lions at the zoo to follow his orders and become his own personal attack army.

Mmm-hmm. Genius.

This was the same guy who, back when she had first started working for him a couple of months ago, had thought it was perfectly acceptable to call a person at 3:38 AM to explain the great idea for world domination he'd just had. If she hadn't still been half-asleep and not wanting to wake up any further, she so would have gone over and hurt him. As it was, she had given him a severe tongue-lashing and hung up.

The next time he'd called, he'd been half-asleep and wailing out things that she was pretty sure were the ends of nightmares. Lately she'd taken to just setting her phone on vibrate and leaving it out in the kitchen before she went to bed.

Ooh, maybe I could count the cracks in the ceiling. That would be fun.

"Shego!"

She sat bolt upright on the couch and sighed again. That wasn't a come-here-so-I-can-gloat-to-you "Shego," it was an I-hurt-myself "Shego."

Good grief, he was such a baby when he was hurt.

Shego went over to the door and opened it a crack to holler back. "Cut, scratch, or bruise?"

"C-cut!"

Shego rolled her eyes so far she nearly felt them disappear into her head. Stomping over to the medicine closet, she yanked it open and dodged the box of Band-Aids that fell out and nearly landed on her foot.

She picked them up and stared at them. Dinosaur Band-Aids. Cute.

"Shego, there's blood!" came a yelp from inside the lab.

"Imagine that," she retorted.

"A l-l-lot of it." His voice was quivering on the edge of tears, and Shego felt her neck prickle. Why couldn't he just act like an adult for once?

"Fine, then I'll bring two Band-Aids." She yanked a fistful out of the box, shoved the box back onto the shelf, and flung open the door to the lab.

Shego prided herself on not letting anything phase her. After all, growing up with four brothers - four beyond-obnoxious brothers - and now working for Drakken - well, she'd like to think that about nothing would surprise her anymore.

But the sight that met her eyes made her heart skip more than a couple of beats.

Oh, crud.

Evidently the astonished look on her face scared Drakken, because he started to bawl. Shego came unfrozen and was at his side in an instant, staring at him in disbelief.

"What did you do?" she shrieked. "Lop your whole nose off?"

Drakken shook his head, choppy black ponytail nearly slapping her in the face. "No, it's st-still here."

Not that she could really tell, since he had now plastered his hands over the entire left side of his face.

"What happened?" Shego demanded. Her voice went tighter, because from what she'd seen of that cut before he'd covered it with his hands, it was definitely going to need more than two Band-Aids. She felt a tiny bit out of her element, and she did not like that feeling at all.

Drakken sobbed a long string of noise that didn't sound like words at all. His nose was starting to run now, too, and he awkwardly brought one arm up to wipe it on his sleeve without taking his hands from his cheek.

Shego hissed through her teeth in frustration. "In English, please."

Drakken sniffed several times, took a couple wobbly breaths, and blurted out, "I was working on the Feline Hypnotism Ray, and my ch-cheek itched, so I scr-scratched it."

Shego felt one eyebrow go up. "When was the last time you cut your nails, Dr. D?"

"See, that's the th-thing. I kind of accidentally scratched myself with the hand that was holding the Feline Hypnotism Ray Blade - Cutter - Thing." Those last couple words strung together, as his voice got higher and more panicked.

She didn't know exactly what a Feline Hypnotism Ray Blade-Cutter-Thing did, but judging from the name - and the blood she could see from between Drakken's fingers - it was pretty sharp. Shego's stomach clenched for the first time in a long, long time.

She closed her eyes and took several deep breaths. No. She had to be the one in control. She was always the one in control. That was the way it worked. The more freaked-out Drakken got, the calmer Shego got. And Drakken was definitely on the verge of a major freak-out. His eyes were going wild with fear.

"Okay, okay, okay," Shego muttered to herself. She massaged her already-throbbing temples. "You - go get in the bathtub."

Drakken blinked at her. "Shego, this is hardly the time for a bath!"

"No. No. No." She felt her jaw clench down hard. "Get in the bathtub - don't run any water. Stay fully clothed. Just go and sit in there so you don't stain anything."

His one big eyebrow went up. "Stain?"

"With blood, Einstein."

The instant the words were out of her mouth, Shego wanted to bite her tongue off. Drakken's face crumpled into a wad of sheer terror. "Shego!" he wailed. "Am I going to die?"

"Get. In. The. Bathtub." She stabbed a finger in the direction of the bathroom, and Drakken skittered off like a puppy who'd just been scolded.

Shego went back over to the medicine closet and rummaged through it, looking for anything big. "Dr. D?" she called.

Several snuffled sobs answered her.

"Do you have any of those big square tan bandages?"

One of the answering wails sounded like, "No."

"Why not?" Shego balled her hands into fists. Right now, she was about ready to melt something. Or slice it. Just as long as it got some of that awful tension off of her chest.

"Well, you see, those tan bandages are supposed to be skin-colored, but that doesn't exactly work for me anymore, so I have to buy those pre-school kind with all the bright colors to get the blue ones....of course, I also get yellow and pink and green, which I can't do anything with...you can use the green ones, if you want...." That was all in about one breath.

Shego snatched up the box of bright-colored Band-Aids and made a mental note to slap some over Drakken's mouth. Barging into the bathroom, she found him curled up in the bathtub, knees up to his chest, hands still pressed to his left cheek. Tears were running down his right cheek and dropping off his chin onto the top of that weird coat-thing he wore.

She brandished the box of Band-Aids. "Let me see it."

"NO!" Drakken hollered, as if she'd just asked to decapitate him. He plastered his hands even tighter. "Y-you c-c-can't."

Shego felt a snarl creeping up her throat. "Look, pal," she said through tight teeth. "You have two choices here. You can let me look at that, or -" She held one hand up and made it glow - "I can render you unconscious, and then look at it." She didn't add that between the bleeding and the bawling, he was probably about on the edge of consciousness anyway.

Drakken's hands fell away. "Okay."

Shego couldn't hold back a smirk. "I had a feeling you'd see it my way."

She leaned in to examine his face, and Drakken pulled away. "Don't touch it!" he squawked.

"I'm not gonna touch it!" she snapped. "Just let me look at it!"

"Don't touch," he whimpered again, but he stayed still.

Yep. That was going to need more than two Band-Aids. A trip to the emergency room was more like it. Shego sucked in her breath between her teeth before she could stop herself.

That got Drakken crying anew. "Shego, I'm gonna die!"

"No." Shego made her voice go flat and practical. "No, no, you are not going to die."

He glared at her through his tears. "How do you know?"

"Look, I have - " She stopped herself just in time. Good grief, she'd been about to say what she'd always said to all the little kids she'd ever baby-sat when they demanded to know how she knew that their skinned-up knees weren't fatal:

I have four brothers.

Nope. That information wasn't going to be shared with anyone. Not anymore.

Drakken's forehead twisted. "You have what?"

"Baby-sitting experience," she finished smoothly. "I promise you, you aren't gonna die."

Drakken heaved a sigh so heavy, Shego thought he'd deflate before her eyes. "Fine. But if I do die, I'm docking your paycheck!"

Durr.

"Fine by me," Shego muttered. "Now, get outta there, would you? I'm going to go get the car started."

"Car?" Drakken's voice climbed dangerously close to a range only dogs could hear as he shakily climbed out of the bathtub. "Where are we going?"

"To the hospital."

"Hospital?" He stomped one too-small-for-him foot on the tile floor. "Shego, you said I wouldn't die!"

"You won't," she flung back over her shoulder. "But that obviously needs stitches. We're going to the emergency room."

Drakken let out a full-out wail. Shego forced an eye-roll over her growing concern and stomped outside the lair to her new car.

She froze. Her new car.

Suddenly, she felt as if she had a little angel on one shoulder and a little devil on the other. "Oh, you are so not letting him get in your cute new little red sports car when he's bleeding all over the place, are you?" demanded Bad Shego.

"Who cares? He's hurt!" retorted Good Shego.

As was usually the case with her, she listened to them both. She dashed back into the lair, past Drakken, and back into the bathroom, where she grabbed a huge, dingy towel.

By the time he got outside, taking slow, unsteady steps, Shego had spread the towel over the entire backseat. There. "Get in," she told Drakken.

He did, buckling his seatbelt and then laying all the way down. Shego let herself into the front seat, turned the key in the ignition, and took off.

*******

Shego discovered something very quickly. It wasn't easy to drive with someone crying like a baby in the backseat - not to mention screaming whenever a tear trickled down into the cut. "Look," she finally called back. "Would you just shut up already?"

Drakken's voice dropped from a wail to a whimper. By now, he had the hiccups, and she was starting to feel kind of sorry for him - even if he was stupid enough to slice himself open with a Blade-Cutter-Thing he'd forgotten he had in his hand.

Halfway there, though, he stirred again. "Shego," he moaned, voice fuzzy. "I don't feel very well."

If he threw up in her car, so help her, she would have his head.

Shego dodged a squirrel scurrying across the road. "You picked a heck of a time to inform me you get carsick, pal."

"I don't!" Drakken protested. "It's my head - it feels all light and dizzy."

Oh, double crud. Where was that stupid hospital anyway? "All right, don't panic," she called back over her shoulder, fully aware that that was pretty much like telling a bird not to fly. "Close your eyes. Don't move. Think pleasant thoughts."

Pleasant thoughts? What, she was Peter Pan now?

Behind her, she heard Drakken mutter, "Puppies...cookies...world domination..."

She never thought she'd be so glad to see the doors to the Emergency Room.

**********

Author's note: In an interview with the creators and writers of Kim Possible, the question was brought up, "How did Drakken get his scar?" One of them responded that "I always imagined he had an itch and forgot he was holding something sharp..."

Voila, this....