Title: Not Yet Dead

Author: Musical_Junkie/Tally/Live2TiVo

Fandom: Firefly

Pairing: River/Jayne

Rating: PG-13

Spoilers: Set post-BDM, so general spoilers for that, although nothing too specific.

Summary: Being together was River's idea. Keeping it a secret was Jayne's.

Word Count: 706

Notes: Written for inanna1130 at the whedonland Fic Fest, who wanted a secret relationship, which is my kryptonite.

Jayne wasn't exactly sure why it happened, but he was pretty clear on the when and how of the situation. When was about three months after River's transformation from crazy to crazy with the ability to kick-ass. How was River coming up to him saying "The girl and the boy with the girl's name are going to be lip to lip and hand to hand from now on" before kissing him and reserving his room in the Special Hell.

The hiding had been Jayne's idea. He knew Mal wouldn't hesitate to do some serious damage, and he knew Simon wouldn't be all that eager to help him recover, so he insisted upon discretion. ("You best keep your gorram mouth shut about this, girl, or your brother will throw me off this ship and into the black.") River had agreed, explaining, "I like secrets that are only mine to keep."

The teaching had been River's job. Jayne had always thought of himself as someone who knew how to be discrete (well, when it applied to sneaking up on people who were attempting to shoot someone from the crew), but River took it to an entirely new level. She taught him how to speak in code, so they could plan their "dates" without anyone knowing. (Besides, no one really raised an eyebrow if River said "the crow flies at midnight" at the dinner table.)

Their "dates" were nothing special. Much to Jayne's surprise, they spent most of their time talking. He found himself less and less confused by all of her crazy ramblings, although he couldn't be sure if she was making more sense or he had just been spending too much time around her. He figured it was the first, because they didn't spend that much time together…did they?

They usually met in Jayne's room, because her presence there was much more forgivable than his would be if he were in her quarters. She would knock three times, and he would grunt something unintelligible as a sign that the coast was clear. They had a stash of excuses a mile long for River being in Jayne's bunk, but they never had to use them. Jayne had made it pretty rutting clear over the years that he "don't want nobody pokin' around my things and the like." Plus, Simon was too busy with Kaylee to go looking after where River was at all hours of the night.

For Jayne, their relationship was full of surprises—like how she always managed to sneak a kiss whenever they had a split-second to themselves, and how she somehow managed to get her hands on some fancy little undergarments about which Jayne hoped to all things in the 'verse Simon knew nothing. For River, nothing was much of a surprise—something Jayne had learned after his fifth attempt to surprise her with something shiny he'd picked up when they were on planet. It was frustrating until he realized it meant that he never had to spend time talking about his feelings. Dating a mind-reader had its advantages.

They were a secret until they weren't, which was all River's idea. "It is time," she declared one afternoon, when they had a spare moment to themselves. Jayne had attempted to protest, but she cut him off with, "And no one will kill you. They know better than to harm the things I want to keep safe."

River took Jayne by the hand and pulled him into the kitchen area where the rest of the crew was playing cards. "This is my boyfriend. His name is Jayne. You will not kill him."

Simon gaped for a moment before looking at Jayne with killer intentions. Kaylee put a hand on his shoulder, "Oh, but it's so shiny. They look happy."

No one else had anything to say about the situation, although Jayne would later swear that he saw Mal hand over a large sum of money to Zoe that had nothing to do with the card game.

"I told you they would not kill you," River said, reaching up on tip-toes to give Jayne a kiss on his cheek.

"I've never been more happy to not be dead," replied Jayne, bending down to return the favor.