Complete and total parody. Plus Romance. XD

You don't like swearing? Don't. Read.

KIKYO LOVERS LEAVE! ('Cause I love making fun of her and none of your flames will stop me!)

Sorry for any spelling mistakes. (If there are any)

Life of a Travelling Teen

'Screw it my feet are hurting' I sighed, plopping myself on the grassy floor. The red ribbon that was usually tied against my neck was now wrapped around my arm, bandaging it from the cut that resided under it. My white sailor shirt was slightly torn, from the thorns and sticks I had encountered running here, deciding to mock me and attempt to dig into my shirt. My forest green skirt was slightly torn from the side, so my skirt that reached my thigh now had a tear on my left leg that ended an inch below my panties. A large stick decided to dig itself in my leg, so know it was bleeding its wonderful shade of red that demons would LOVE to drink from.

'That sounds like all demons are vampires' I rolled my eyes, sighing once more. So you're probably wondering why I'm in a freakin' forest clearing where a demon could easily pop out of fucking nowhere and try to kill me? Oh the usual. Inuyasha go to clay bitch. Clay bitch and Inuyasha kiss. I burst in tears. Then I run off. A wonderful story isn't it?

Except instead of running home down the well like usual, I decided to go into the forest. It's stupid I know, especially since like I said before, a demon could pop out of fucking nowhere and I forgot my bow and arrows. But what did you expect? Did ya think after I saw Inuyasha with the dead bitch I would first go get my bow and arrows and THEN go off to cry?!

Anyways, so here I am, lying on the floor like a damsel in distress, with the sky mocking me by looking all clear and blue in it's all happy glory. Curse the sun. Is it okay to curse the sun? I mean it's all shining and I'm upset, so that means it's supposed to be raining to show my pain. I mean that's what usually happens right?

Oh fuck it; I'm showing signs of insanity. I don't really know if it's a good thing. I mean, insanity can be good sometimes. Like, I can suddenly decide to kill Inuyasha out of my insanity. But then again, I haven't got to that point yet. Maybe the feudal area is doing things to my mind. Not like I care. It's not like there's this creepy retarded voice telling me to kill Miroku...yet... But I pretty much think Sango will do the job for me. Or If I'm lucky, she'll miss Miroku and attack Inuyasha instead! If only dreams came true...

I know I'm supposed to be the one who never would want Inuyasha any harm or anything but really, this is practically the millionth time he's hurt me and have I ever got payback? No. It's not like I wanna kill him or anything. But that thought sounds sort of appealing... I just wish he knew how much it hurt me to watch him running back to the dead bitch even after all the thing I've done. And even if I save the infamous Kikyo countless times and I help Inuyasha even if it meant risking my life, I'm still the 'copy' to them.

Here comes another sigh.

Sigh.

There, it came.

Anyway whoever made that line about 'Life is unfair'...

I'm gonna fucking murder them.

I snapped out of my thoughts when I heard some rustling behind me.

Ohhhh crap.

I quickly got up, ignoring the pain in my leg. I hissed in pain but I quickly bit my tongue, as to not make any noise. My cerulean eyes looked around, watching for any signs of movement. Everything seemed deadly quiet, which was freaking the hell out of me because that's what always happens before Chucky decides to pop out. I stood my ground, my eyes scanning every inch of the clearing.

...

Snap.

I bolted away, ignoring the searing pain in my leg. I kept running and running. A felt something wet come upon my shoulder but I didn't stop. It took me a few moments to realize that it was starting to rain. And it rained hard. The ground beneath me was getting slippery as I struggled to keep my balance. I almost slipped but I managed to catch onto a branch but the branch wasn't the strongest, it snapped. I felt myself falling but as it seems luck was on my side and I caught onto another, much stronger branch. I heard a roar behind me and I immediately dashed once more. But then again, someone from above probably hates me for the next action just proves it.

I felt my foot slip as I fell forward, flat on my face. I groaned lifting my face up and opened my eyes, only to face... a pair of black boots? I looked up and my eyes widened at the sight of the famous taiyoukai and Inuyasha's older half brother, Sesshomaru.

I quickly lifted myself up, grimacing at the sight of my now muddied clothes.

"Kami why do you hate me so?" I muttered, ignoring the fact that Sesshomaru could hear me with his 'superman senses' as I like to call it. I looked at my clothes which had a nice huge made stain covering my whole front, it looked as I went face first into a large bowl of chocolate. I wiped the mud away from my face, the rain helping in washing it away. I was temporarily ignoring the youkai, fully knowing it would annoy him, but hey, if your gonna die in the hands of your enemy, you might as well enjoy doing it. And I find that the irritated look on his face hilarious. So, it just seems natural of me to laugh out loud like a maniac, which might I add, I did.

"Miko" He growled and I looked up at him. Did you know that his eyes shine more than Inuyasha's? And that he looks gorgeous in the rain? Well, know you do. His eyes were sparkling from the rain and his long silver hair clung to his handsome face, also glistening from the rain.

"I do have a name you know. It's Kagome. Say it with me, Ka-Go-Me!" He stayed silent, and he seemed a bit taken back, hard to tell though. His face has no emotion.

"Aww come on, its really easy, three syllables, Ka...Go...Me" I can't believe I'm talking to Sesshomaru like this. He can kill me with a flick of his hand. It's just... I dunno, but right now I'm feeling pretty confident, but then again he is probably gonna kill me. It's not like I WANT death; it's just that I'm not afraid of it. I'm not afraid that I'm going to die. Living in the feudal era can do that to ya.

I looked down at my leg, noticed it wasn't bleeding anymore. And for some reason, it didn't hurt anymore either. Maybe it's my diddly-do miko powers

Sesshomaru was glaring at me with his piercing gold eyes and I felt a shiver go down my spine. But it wasn't something of fear...

"Alright look, if you're gonna do it, you mind making it quick? I mean we're in a nice forest and it everything is so pretty and..." Be a smartass while you can Kagome. Born a baby, die a smart ass. No one has EVER heard of that one before. I'm just making it up. I can't believe I'm getting creative a few minutes before my death.

"Hn" He rose a single perfect eyebrow. I looked at him and said,

"Well it's the perfect time. Inuyasha's too busy making out with the dead bitch to save me, Sango probably buried Miroku alive by now, and Shippo is busy driving Kirara insane. So you have the perfect opportunity to ya know..." I made a slicing motion on my throat with the added affect of my lousy knife cutting sound.

"What?" His smooth voice rang through my ears.

"You know..." I sighed and closed my eyes,

"Why don't you go ahead and rip the little fucker out?" I pointed at my heart. Oh wait, that sounds really painful. Shit. Too late now...

"...You want me to kill you?" I opened my eyes and looked at him. His face looked irritated, but his eyes showed amusement. I sighed as if I heard the dumbest question in the world.

"Who the hell with half a mind would wish for death?"

"Are you implying that you have less than half?" Eh? Did this fucker just call me stupid?!

"Why you... you... do you know how huge your freakin ego is! I swear it's probably bigger that Inuyasha's!" I huffed crossing my arms over my chest. My eyes widened as I realized what I had said to THE Sesshomaru. But then again, I'm going to die anyway, so I might as well say whatever the hell I want. I stared into his eyes and I could have sworn that his eyes were shining with amusement. Oh for the love of hell itself, first I'm a shard detector, now I'm a toy monkey for Sesshomaru! Next thing I'll be Kouga's personal stripper!...

Wait, I take that back...

"So... you umm... don't plan on... killing me?" I asked meekly. God I sound really pathetic. Sesshomaru, opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by a loud roar. I slowly turned around, taking in the sight of the ogre demon that was standing there. He was an uglish blue color and his eyes were completely red, driven in his bloodlust. In his hand was a giant axe that had some blood oozing from it.

"...Girl..." The thing growled and my eyes narrowed. I glared at the ugly thing covered in warts as I watched it lift it's axe. Though he had moved his axe upward slowly, the blow coming down came in a tremendous speed. I took a few steps back, almost dodging the attack, my back pressed against Sesshomaru's chest, and a small cut starting to bleed on my cheek. I heard a growl come from behind me as I looked up. Sesshomaru's eyes were starting to bleed red from the edges.

"Sesshomaru?..." I breathed out, barely audible, but it seemed Sesshomaru heard it. Of course, with his all might 'superman senses' on action. His eyes were normal again, and in a swift attack, a long whip sprung from the tip of his fingers, slashing the demon's head off, with his whip dripping with poison. I stood still for a moment before stepping forward, and turning around to face Sesshomaru.

"Thank you..." I told him. His eyes widened slightly before he said,

"It wasn't for you, the demon was in my way" He didn't look at me and I stared at him while grinning,

"Uh-huh"

"You don't believe this Sesshomaru" IT was more of a statement rather than a question.

"Don't let this face deceive you, I really do believe you" I gave him a 'what you told me is pure bull' face.

"Hn" I noticed the blood pouring down my cheek and I touched it with my finger tips. I looked at the crimson blood and then up at Sesshomaru, who was looking at my bleeding cheek.

"So... is this the part where you heal my wound" I asked him. His eyes shone and he rose a brow, which meant he wanted an explanation. Wow, I know Sesshomaru well enough to know his eyebrow signals!

"Well you know... you saved me instead of killing me... so that means you picked the good side. And the good side can't leave a lady with a cut!" I declared in a war like tone.

"So... because I killed the demon who was in my way... I am now on the 'good' side?" Sesshomaru looked utterly confused.

"Well it's too late to be on the bad one. I mean, it was a total moment of truth or something. You were either supposed to let the bastard kill me..." I pointed to the dead ogre behind me, "Or you would have saved me. And you did the latter"

"If I had chosen, to let the demon kill you, I would've been on the 'bad' side?"

"Well it's not like you can change what happened now. Besides, you can't just leave a woman to get killed like that! Not if you're heartless anyway..." I said, before twisting the tips of my mud stained skirt.

"But I know that you Sesshomaru, aren't heartless" A long silence passed and Sesshomaru looked like he entered deep thought. Too bad I'm gonna interrupt it.

"So, you gonna heal it or not?" I pointed to the wound and he just stared at me.

"Oh fine! I'll do it!" I waved my arms in the air. I dug in pocket and pulled out a Sesame Street band aid. Sesshomaru was watching me intently and I just shrugged it off, placing the band aid on my cut.

"What is that?" He said, touching the band aid that was on my cheek. You know, I was never a believer in sparks. But that's what I say.

"It's a band aid. To... make sure my cut doesn't get infected"

"Miko, I have travelled very far off from these lands, and not once have I seen a contraption like this"

"Ooh have you been to Hawaii?"

"Hawaii?"

"Guess not, either that or they haven't names it yet. The band aid just comes from my home" Sesshomaru looked confused and then I noticed that he had slight pink eye shadow. At that point, I burst in laughter.

"Miko, cease your laughing"

"Oh but HAHAHA... Why in the world do you have make up on?!" I continued to laugh. It was just too hilarious.

"Make up?"

"Yeah..." I forgot all about death wishes and I stood up on my toes, so I could touch the eye shadow. I ignored Sesshomaru's growls and said,

"Why would you put this on?"

"None of your business Miko. Now remove your hands before I slice them off" I pouted and said,

"But I'm only curious. Besides, they match you sort of. I mean like, you don't exactly seem like the type of guy who'd go gay, but I guess it does have some sort of feminine touch"

"Miko" Sesshomaru growled louder.

"I guess it also kinda makes you look intimidating" I removed my hands and I could see confusion and disappointment flash in his face. But only for a brief second.

"But then again, how much more intimidating do you wanna get? Your aura screams 'KILL'"

"Yet you do not run"

"I guess not" A silence passed before it was Sesshomaru who broke it this time.

"Why are you not with the half breed?" I tensed as I thought back to Inuyasha. I love him. I really love him. But... now... it just doesn't seem so convincing...

"He's probably busy making out with a dead bitch" I could have sworn there was a smirk on Sesshomaru's face when I said the name.

"Dead bitch... We have found her a new name" I smile shone on my face as I looked up at him. His lips slightly twitched upward. I looked up to the sky and saw that the sun was starting to set. Once again, I curse the sun. First, it decides to shine all happy to the world when I'm upset and now that I'm happy, it decides to leave so it can end my day. One day, I will have revenge on the sun! I'll put it on my revenge list right under dead bitch!

"I guess it's getting kinda late. I'm gonna have to go back soon or Inuyasha will throw a fit. I'll probably stay with him a few weeks, then he'll hurt me, I bawl my eyes out before sucking it up and going back"

"It's an endless pattern"

"At least until Naraku is killed. So right now, everything sucks"

"Life is unfair"

"...So it was you" I could have sworn my voice sounded demonic. This is the asshole who started that line...

"Me?" Sesshomaru looked really amused.

"Yea-" I took a step forward only to end up slipping and falling on my butt.

"Oww...That's not how it works" I looked up at him and glared "If I slip, you catch. You were supposed to catch me!"

"Really?"

"Well that's how it works. Girl trips. Guy catches. And now my butt hurts!" I yelled at him.

"Just so you know, I blame you" He rose his single eyebrow again. I wonder if I can staple that thing into one spot, so it would never lift again. But that sounds painful too... but then again, he's a youkai, he should suck it up!

"How is it that it's my fault, for it is your clumsiness that resulted in dirtying yourself"

"I'm not THAT clumsy, plus I have no one else to blame around here." I shrugged.

I lifted my hand and said in this little innocent voice,

"Help me please?" I kept the hand in mid air, waiting for him to help me up. I know, it was practically showing insanity to ask a demon who can easily kill you to help you up. But does it seem like I care?

He looked at my hand as if it was a disease and I rolled my eyes, "It's just dirt, not gonna hurt ya, never will"

A few moments passed and I sighed, closing my eyes. I was about to let my hand fall, but then I felt a rush of air and now I'm looking at something white. I blinked a few times before I realized that I was now looking at Sesshomaru's chest. I blushed and stepped back a little, looking up at him. Everything was silent and I decided to get bold and I leaned up to whisper in his ear,

"This is where you tell me something really cheesy" His eyebrow rose once more and if possible, his amusement grew as well.

"Cheesy?"

"Yeah, you tell me something like 'you look as beautiful as the moon' or 'there is no ther place I'd rather be than here'. That old crap"

"If I said one of those things, I'd be lying"

"Wha... Hey! You should be happy that I graced you with my presence!"

"I believe I was cursed"

"You're never gonna woo a woman over with those kind of words" I folded my arms over my chest.

"I have no need for a mate"

"Look, I don't really believe in that 'true love' bullshit either. Seeing as how my supposed 'true love' runs off to someone else every five minutes. But if there's one thing I know, every man has his woman needs. Even you"

"Your knowledge is remarkable"

"First you make up that dumb ass phrase and now you start sarcasm!" I pointed at him accusingly. He looked like he was having fun with our little chat. But how can you tell? His face is a void of no emotion, except for his eyes. His eyes... they hold his hidden emotions.

"Anyway, like I said, before you totally ruined the mood, you were supposed to say something cheesy and then..." I stepped a little closer to him, looking at our feet.

"And then..." He said, telling me to continue. When I looked up again, I realized how close we were to each other. His body was merely an inch away from mine.

"And then you're supposed to kiss me"

"Kiss you"

"Yep"

"Why would I low myself to kiss you?"

"Why wouldn't you want to kiss me?" I pouted my bottom lip, fully knowing that it can temptate a guy into kissing me, or so I've been told. I was having fun from this conversation. And I knew Sesshomaru was too. Maybe we should do this more often...

"Demon kisses are more different then your ningen kisses" He broke our gaze and looked at the ground.

"Oh?" I curiously looked at him. What did he mean by that? But I guess it was answered, next thing I knew, Sesshomaru's lips were on mine. I felt his sharp fang on my bottom lip, pinching it hard, causing me to gasp. Then his fang bit down on to my tongue, which might I add hurt, and it drew blood. He started sucking on it, both the blood and my tongue, numbing the pain away until it started sending waves of pleasure. After a few moments, we pulled back.

That was not like anything I had ever experienced before. My mind was slightly hazy and I was flustered. That was...

"Wow"

Sesshomaru chuckled and I felt the deep rumble as I lay my head against his chest. I found that I liked it. A lot.

"You demons really do sorta act like vampires" I mumbled. Who knew a demon kiss had something to do with sucking blood?

"Well you liked it" I giggled at his response and said,

"Did you?"

"Yes" I smiled and looked up at him, his eyes looking down at me as well. We stayed like that for a while, me in his arms. His aura seemed to calm me. And the way he held me...

And the thought of loving Inuyasha seemed like a memory that occurred centuries ago. The rain had finally stopped, leaving everything damp. The sky was beginning to get dark and I sighed, fully knowing our time together was about to end. Well... at least for now.

"I better get back" I looked up at the sky, the sun was slowly lowering, leaving everything in its midnight darkness. Sesshomaru started growling, as if resenting that idea.

"This is where you offer to take me home" I hinted, winking at him.

"Does everything have to go according to your plan?"

"Well you haven't done anything that was supposed to happen before. Except maybe for kissing me. But then again you did it in a different way... Would it kill ya to walk me ack to camp? I mean, if I go alone, all those big bad demons will attack little ole me"

"That would be a good thing"

"Oh stop being a meanie! Besides, then you'd be on the bad side" I pointed out.

"Isn't it good to be on the bad side?"

"Tch, for you maybe. But then you would have jumbled up the universe itself! I mean first you were on the good side, and then you go on the bad. It disorders everything!"

"I believe you lost your sanity"

"Don't question my sanity. I have yet to lose it" I heard him chuckle once more and I smiled, knowing I had caused it.

"So can you please take me there?" I did the old puppy dog pout, knowing that I had one of the best. With my big blue eyes, it's almost impossible to resist!

"Fine, I will escort you to your group" I smiled and pounced him with a hug, wrapping my arms tight around him.

"Thank you" I whispered, knowing he would be able to hear me. Before he had a chance to respond, I pulled back, smiling.

We started walking forward, my eyes set on the trail on the ground. A comfortable silence loomed the air as I looked up at the sky, the sun finally disappearing. Take that sun! You're gone and I'm still with Sesshomaru! Ha!

We were nearing the borders of where Inuyasha's senses could reach. Sesshomaru halted to a stop and I already knew why. A thought crossed my mind and in a second, I pressed my lips against Sesshomaru's soft ones. He complied, pushing back with equal force. He seemed to know what he was doing and he ran his tongue on my bottom, causing me to gasp, and soon enough, our tounges were fighting for dominance. I let out a moan which he followed which I think was a growl of pleasure, I still can't tell. But I do know that the kiss is absolutely amazing.

At that moment, I became the most breathing hater in the world. Since, my lungs were trying to kill me to pull away which I had to do, if I wanted to live to kiss Sesshomaru again.

"That... was a human kiss" I grinned. I don't believe in floating on air, I never did. But now, I doubt it. Aww to hell with that.

I walked away, grinning madly, and even though I didn't know it yet,

Sesshomaru was too.

So how did you like it? Review and tell me!

Sweetz Sugerz Body