Oh, you are all going to HATE me for this. I'm not sure what happened in my brain. I can only apologise and ask that you forgive me.

Warnings: THIS FIC MAY CONTAIN TRIGGERS FOR SOME READERS. Emotional abuse. Mild description of rimming. A couple of bad words.

Disclaimer: It's not mine. I don't want it.

Sometimes I resist but I want you to break me
Sometimes I try hard but I just can't get me free
~ "Until the End" - Matthew Duffy

Ask anyone to describe Remus Lupin and they would be likely to use the following words: nice, quiet, controlled, private...

As Remus writhed under the tongue that was tracing feather-light patterns over the curve of his arse, he didn't feel any of those things. This - what he was doing - was filthy and carnal and dangerous; fucking at its basest, at its rawest, and shame and helplessness ate away at Remus even as he reached back to spread himself before his partner, his lover, his tormentor.

He heard Sirius' smug laugh throb like a pulse through him. He knew, the bastard. He knew that with just a look he could strip Remus of the masks he wore so well. He knew that with just a touch, he could make all of Remus' defenses crumble.

He knew how easily he could break Remus, and he did it over and over again.

Remus shuddered in both repugnance and desire as spit-slicked thumbs rubbed around the rim of his entrance. His hands clenched around the bed sheets as he pressed his face into the pillow to muffle the desperately needy, humiliating words (pleasemoregodsirius) that escaped without his permission.

He could taste Sirius in his mouth – the ashy flavour of his tongue after the earlier cigarette, could feel him in his very blood as it burned like molten fire through his veins. Sirius had crawled deep inside his core, into his very soul, carving out a niche and making certain that Remus couldn't so much as draw breath without him.

Remus both loved and hated this - being opened up, being raw and bare, at someone else's mercy. Sirius knew it and that knowledge made him try harder, dig deeper, trying to crack Remus open until there was nothing left unseen, nowhere left for the werewolf to hide. It scared Remus just how quickly Sirius Black could shake him apart. How easily he could rip through every single ward Remus had put in place to ensure that no one ever saw who he truly was, saw the secrets he kept hidden away.

It might not be so bad if Sirius stayed, if he held Remus after and tried to piece him back together, to help him heal. But when he was done, when he'd reduced Remus to nothing more than a mass of exposed, trembling nerves and muscle and flesh... he left.

Remus could still smell the scent of sweat and sex on Sirius' skin the next day as he watched the other man flirt and cavort with the girls in their class. He could see the faint bruises on Sirius' throat where his teeth had scraped too roughly. Remus could feel Sirius' mocking eyes on him as he stroked some anonymous girl's arm, hair, hip... He would turn away when Sirius saw him watching and his lips twisted into a cruel smile.

He hated Sirius in that moment, but he hated himself even more because he knew that when Sirius came to him at night, stinking of perfume and cunt, that he wouldn't turn him away, that he would let Sirius into his bed, into his body, into his heart.

One day, he was going to find the strength to resist, the strength to say no, but right now, as the flat of a broad tongue stroked over his sensitive perineum, Remus dug his fingernails into his palms and let Sirius break him once again.

fin.