Hurts Like Hell

By: NikkiKelly

Disclaimer: I don't own the Labyrinth. Jim Henson did. How I so envy the great puppet master.

Author Notes:

I must apologize immensely!!! I started this story a few years back and suddenly it took on a life of its own. I was afraid to post what I had written until now for different reasons and I finally decided to be brave and let it go. I returned to the beginning and fixed a lot of things I severely messed up before, but I still kept the same basic plot line. I added a lot of stuff that I didn't have but needed before. I started this story as a little joke, but it evolved and spun beyond my control and I love it!!! It had completely controlled my life and I dream about it.

I have a deviant art account under aliceofthedark where I am going to eventually put a map I made of the Underground as per my story. (Sigh!) I am in waaaayyyyyy too deep. (Shakes head at my self).

Tell me what you think, but try to be gentle. I'm fragile… Thanks.

Prologue: Mama, Tell Me a Story

Lightning crashed, the thunder moaned, and two small children squealed in fright on the darkest of stormy nights. Stumbling from their beds, they made for their doorway, afraid the boogeyman was at their heels. Their tiny feet pattered down the darkened hall and they slammed into their parent's door. Thunder rolled again and the pair scrambled through the doorway and to the bed.

"Mama! Da!" The pair howled from the foot of the bed as the parents stirred.

"It's your turn." The father grumbled, good-naturedly, as he detangled his limbs from around the mother. He tucked his head under his pillow. "I had to do the boogeyman checks last night for two hours straight."

"Lazy…" The mother gave him a playful poke as the children scrambled up onto the bed and into her waiting arms. As the lighting came and the thunder rolled again, she drew the shaking pair of children closer, tucking them under the thick blankets. Reaching to her beside table, she lit the candle waiting there, letting warm glow cast over them. She gave the pair of frightened children a warm smile and asked. "Now, what's wrong?"

The little girl's lower lip trembled. "The boogeyman was trying to eat us!"

"I saw him!" The boy added and shook as the thunder came again.

"There's no boogeyman in your room." The mother assured them. "Da checked last night, remember?"

"That was last night." The father joked, his voice muffled by the pillows. "He may have come back since then."

"Yeah!" Both children chorused, agreeing with their father.

The mother gave her husband a frown. "You are not helping."

Peeking from under his pillow, he gave her a roguish smile. "I know."

"Go to sleep." She ordered and pressed the pillow down upon his head as the children giggled. She addressed the children in her arms, stroking their heads, comfortingly. "There is no boogeyman in your room. The storm just scared you, is all. It'll pass soon."

"How soon?" The girl asked and smiled, slyly. "Soon enough for a story?"

"Another? You had two at bedtime!" The mother chuckled.

The little boy blushed. "You tell the best stories, Mama."

"You do! Tell us one more! Please?" The girl begged, snuggling in close.

"I suppose. What one do you want to hear? Cinderella? The Golden Bird?" The mother asked.

"No!" The boy made a sour face. "No sissy stuff. Tell one about knights and dragons! And about curses and trolls and stuff!"

"I want a story about Kings and queens and princesses and princes!" The girl insisted with a pout. "And unicorns."

"A story about knights and dragons… Princesses and Princes? Queens and Kings...?" The mother pondered for a moment. "Curses, trolls, and unicorns, too?"

The pair nodded enthusiastically.

"And other stuff!" The boy added.

"How about The Labyrinth?" The mother asked.

"Daddy read that last night." The little girl frowned and lowered her voice to a conspirator's whisper towards her mother. "And he messed up the voices and everything!"

"I heard that." The father grumbled and leaned up to glare at them. "I suppose Mama can do better?"

The boy nodded. "She does the voices right, Da."

Propping himself up on one elbow, the father smiled at the trio on one side of his bed. His eyes twinkled as he looked to the mother. "Then tell us a fairy tale, love."

Settling in the bed between their parents, the children waited, expectantly, as the mother searched her mind for such a story. The father wrapped one of his arms around the boy as the mother settled down to hug the girl. Her eyes shone bright in the candlelit room and her finger's searched out her husband's in the dark. "I have just the story."

He gave her a loving smile, and squeezed her hand, knowing the tale she had in mind.

"What's it called?" The little girl asked, snuggling closer to her mother with an expectant smile.

"I don't think it has a name." The mother smiled down at her and tucked a stray lock of hair behind the child's ear. "But it's about knights and dragons, Kings and Queens, princes and princesses, trolls and curses, fairies and pirates, magic and myth, and true love."

The children's eyes widened as they settled in, eager for this new tale. The mother looked up to her husband, once, with a small smile. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before she began.

"Once upon a time…"