Title: Temper
Fandom: Bleach, Zaraki/Unohana + Yachiru (yay!)
Summary: Unohana always gets what she wants. And right now that's for Zaraki to get a flu shot.
A/N: Originally written for a comment fic free-for-all on Livejournal. The prompt was "Temper."

Who knew that there would be a Soul Society equivalent of the swine flu? Unohana certainly didn't but that didn't stop her from mobilizing her division quickly and effectively in treating the people currently affected and creating a vaccine for those that were not. Now getting certain people to come into the 4th Division to get the vaccination was another story. Some people needed persuading. When it came to Kenpachi Zaraki, that persuasion would not involve calmly delivered lectures on what would happen in worst case scenarios but would require cleverness or outright intimidation.

And yes, Captain Unohana made house calls; even when they were unexpected as was usually the case when she "darkened" (according to Zaraki) the entrance gate of the 11th Division. Aramaki led her to Zaraki's office with some trepidation.

"C'mon, lady. I already told you I wasn't gettin' that shot," the large captain said. "I've been through worse, seen worse, and done worse. If a cold kills me… well then shame the hell on me." He smirked and his dark gray eyes challenged her to say anything different. "Thanks for stopping by."

Yachiru was sitting at her miniature executive desk, coloring something but stopped long enough to give a bright smile, wave and say, "Hi, Unohana. Bye, Unohana!"

Captain Unohana took an imperceptible deeper breath and counted to five (it took more stressful things than this to make her count to ten) as she listened to the man.

"Actually, Captain Zaraki," she always was very polite, "I came to check on Yachiru; to see if she was reacting well to the vaccination. Though she has vast spirit energy, due to her small size she may not feel her usual boisterous self."

Zaraki frowned as he looked over at the pink haired girl. "Nah, she's just as noisy as usual. She just got back from hanging out with 'Byakushi,'" he said, with a mocking note at the end for the girl's nickname for Captain Kuchiki.

His second-in-command threw a bright green crayon at his head. She figured she wouldn't need it anytime soon as she had already finished drawing the boogers in Ikkaku's nose.

"Like I said, she's fine. She always beats up the weaklings and then colors when she's coming down off of a sugar high. I'm gonna hafta tell that Kuchiki about giving her all that damn candy." His expression darkened. "I didn't realize that she had gotten that flu shot."

"Yeah, I went yesterday after the Women's Shinigami Association meeting. I thought it would be a punk way to go out if I sneezed or something stupid like that while in a fight with a hollow."

Zaraki looked at Yachiru from the corner of his uncovered eye and said, "What?"

Yachiru shrugged and said, "It could happen."

"When the fu-" the coarse man looked over at the gently smiling Unohana, "I mean, when the hell have you heard of that happening?"

"I haven't heard of it happening,' Yachiru said with her eyebrows furrowed, "But it could happen. Always be prepared right, Captain Unohana?"

Unohana nodded. Sometimes one just had to go wherever Yachiru's logic lead.

"So you're the one that put this foolishness into Yachiru's head? This sneezing scenario?" Zaraki snorted derisively.

"It's not foolishness and Yachiru is quite capable of coming up with convincing examples on her own."

"That's right!" the little girl chimed in, raising a fist with a red crayon in it. She was drawing Ikkaku's distinctive eye make-up. She suddenly dropped the crayon as if in realization and jumped on her companion's shoulder.

"You ain't scared of needles are you, Ken-chan?" She awkwardly patted his head, smooshing two of his spikes down. When she removed her hand they bounced back up.

Unohana observed with great interest, though it wasn't readily apparent in her calm façade. "Is this the issue?" she thought.

"WHAT? HELL NO!" he bellowed as he stood up. "I'm not scared of any damn needles! I've been sliced, diced, and what's that other thing…" he stopped as he looked for the word.

"Julienned?" Yachiru supplied helpfully, remembering some of the infomercials she saw while in the living world.

Zaraki turned to look at Yachiru and noticed her little smile. "Not julienned. Why the hell would I be anything that sounds like a broad's name. Stabbed is the word. You think I've been through all that and worried about a needle?"

"I was just sayin', Ken-chan," Yachiru said.

"I'm not afraid of needles, alright?" he said.

Unohana had heard enough. "Well since that's settled we should be able to go ahead and get this vaccination done. No need for tempers to flare. I brought some vaccine with me." She removed a small leather case from her robe.

"I don't need it and I don't want it," Zaraki said. "And I don't know what makes you think you're gonna be able to do something like that when you're in my division's headquarters. Now if I stop through your division—which won't happen unless I'm unconscious and/or bleeding damn near to death, so don't hold your breath—sure, you can give it to me then."

"So outright intimidation it is," thought Unohana. Her eyes narrowed slightly then she gave a closed mouth smile that reached her eyes. He was being difficult but he already revealed how she could reach her goal. He apparently didn't know that she was almost at a 100% vaccination rate and she was a very determined woman.

The regal woman tilted her head slightly to the right as she stored the leather case in her robes. "Captain Zaraki, so you are telling me if you were unconscious or gravely injured and sent to the 4th Division then you would be willing to get the vaccination?"

Zaraki looked back at Yachiru who had returned to coloring. "I don't remember saying will—"

Unohana was on him before he could even finish his sentence or draw his weapon.

"Goddamn, woman! You move fast!"

He could kick himself for letting his guard down whenever Unohana came around. It was so strange because he was more hyper vigilant when it came to things like shots and impromptu checkups but he never imagined she would attack him. She hadn't even drawn her sword yet but was giving him quite the challenge. She was a captain after all.

Yachiru put down her crayons for a third time. "Ooh, wrasslin'!" She pulled out a bag of confetti candy from her desk drawer. Ikkaku's portrait could wait.

"Yachiru, please come up with a story as to why Captain Zaraki will have to be dragged to the 4th Division," Unohana said as she landed a sharp blow to Zaraki's kidneys. She knew he was going to be fine. He would be under her care after all and she wasn't even using kidou yet.

"Okay!" the girl said.

"And here I thought you were all gentle and shit," Zaraki said, appreciating the other captain's skills as well as the fierce spark in her usually serene eyes.

Maybe he should've been paying attention to other things besides Unohana's eyes because he got hit with a particularly strong blow to the jaw that rocked him back a bit.

He smirked at smaller captain and waggled his brows.

"That's all you got?"

She gave him one of the sweetest smiles he'd ever seen and he would be lying if he said it didn't catch him off guard. For a quarter of a second that is, but that's all Unohana needed to knock him on his ass. She definitely cheated… using that kidou shit.

Unohana straddled his waist and whispered in his ear. "Usually I am gentle, Captain Zaraki. But you require a special touch." As a doctor, she was also comfortable with the fact that sometimes she had to hurt patients in order to help them. She looked into dark gray eyes that were gradually losing focus. Probably from the blow he took the head when he landed. His full lower lip was bleeding from a glancing hit she made early on in their skirmish. Without thinking she ran her thumb over it.

"I'll heal this once we're in the 4th Division," she said softly.

Zaraki chuckled. "Maybe I'm not the only one with a temper, hmm?" he said before succumbing to unconsciousness.

"Yachiru, do you have that story ready?"

"Mm-hmm!"

"I think now would be the time to relay it to the members of your division. Two of my men will be here shortly with a stretcher." She walked closer to the window and took a look at the sky. "I thought it would take a bit longer than it did."

Yachiru pursed her lips. "I thought it would take less time. Really thought the "scared of needles" thing would get him to do it right then and there. Sometime Ken-chan is really stubborn."

Unohana smiled down at the vice-captain. "Thank you for all your help, Yachiru. It's for the best that we all are protected from threats big and small; even microscopic."

As Unohana led the men carrying Zaraki in the stretcher out of the 11th Division gates, Yachiru passed the word on what happened.

"Listen up, everyone! Ken-chan caught the pig flu or whatever, so he has to go with Unohana. Behave yourselves or I'll kick your butts!" The little vice-captain gave them what she thought was an intimidating look (it wasn't but Yachiru was intimidating enough) that Unohana thought was simply precious.

"Shit, if the captain got it, it's a good thing we got the flu shot, Yumichika. Don't think we would've stood a chance," Ikakku said while looking at Zaraki's large body in the stretcher. "Damn."

"Yes, because that is so unattractive," Yumichika said referring to their captain's pitiful state.

***********

At the 4th Division, Zaraki was placed in one of the larger rooms. He was still unconscious and Unohana sat on the side of the bed and wiped the sweat from Zaraki's brow. It was good that he got the vaccination because she could only imagine what a whiny pain he would be if he actually got the illness. In her experience it was usually the toughest guys that became the biggest babies when they got the sniffles.

She looked at the healing cut on his bottom lip. She could've healed it completely in her sleep but she thought it would be better finish up the job once the difficult man was awake. Maybe she could show Zaraki how gentle she could be… if he behaved himself.

THE END