Chapter 20: Obligatus

"Blue! Blue!" Ciel crossed his hands as he prayed for the colorful roulette to stop at his desired combination. He had two whites, two greens, three reds and three blues connected with a corresponding colored line. Even though he didn't know what those matching colors meant, he was sure that the machine would drop something as a prize. So far, he had collected a handful of colorful marbles, three silver tins of pills, two vials of colored liquid and some moist stones. Pluto, on the other hand, mostly had marbles, tiny rainbow-colored shards and stones. He seems to be familiar with them since he handled them with utmost care, or maybe it was just his child-like curiosity.

The last circle stopped in a gold color but the lines connecting the colors connected to it anyway. The "Machina" hummed and a sound clanked from a cat-flap at the very bottom of the machine. Pluto clapped happily as Ciel reached for his prize: it was a silver chain with gold sickle moons and stars; spaced evenly throughout the chain. "This is wonderful!" He exclaimed as he held it up to his eyes. An idea went into his mind immediately. "Sebastien, come here!"

Sebastien stretched his limbs as he got up from his nap and answered the boy's summons immediately. "What do you want?"

"Be still for a bit…" Ciel wounded the chain around the wolf's neck. "There!" He said happily. "I've got a ring from you. You get a necklace from me. Now we're even!"

"Interesting. Thank you, dear."

A tap from the boy's shoulder called his attention. As soon as he turned around, Pluto giddily presented to him a familiar item.

"The Saturnus key!" Ciel exclaimed as he picked up the item from the man's hands. "I forgot all about it!"

Sebastien's happiness flickered out completely. "… Are you still thinking of… letting me go?"

Ciel's expression turned melancholic when he turned to the wolf. He grasped the key tightly. "I… it's the right thing to do."

"I don't believe it!" Sebastien growled. Wolves can't cry, apparently. They couldn't shed tears or have lips to give kisses or fingers to touch or a tongue to speak human language. He couldn't express how upset and angry he was at his decision. "After all that—!"

"Sebastien!" Ciel called out worriedly when the wolf suddenly ran away. "Come back!"

… As the wolf ran, the animal could hear himself whimper.

"S-sebas—!" Ciel slumped at a nearby wall to catch his breath. He had scouted in and out of the castle to search for his lost companion. Nighttime had fallen and he still had no clue to where the wolf had gone. "He must be really upset… He completely understands me…" He closed his eyes and sat on the ground. "It's the right thing to do but…"

He was at the grounds where the other entrance of the Lunar Panels and chapel were. The moths had swarmed all over the lighted lamp posts; the flies flitted quickly over brambles; the crickets chirped in an endless harmony and the moon half shone and cast obscure shadows over the gnarled and ancient trees nearby. Despite the solemnity of the night, he couldn't feel calm and safe.

"Where are you, Sebastien?"

As soon as he regained his proper breathing pattern, he got up to his feet and got ready to scout all around the castle again. He stopped in his tracks and thought things over. Yes, he had loved the creature like a dear friend and felt incomplete without him. He really wanted him to be his for life but domestication was against a wolf's nature. They were born to be free and be masters of themselves.

What kind of life did Sebastien want? A life of devotion or a life of freedom?

"Arrghhh!" He shook his head furiously and gritted his teeth. "I wish I could understand him!" He gripped his hair in frustration. "I want to ask him what he really wants! What does he feel about me?"

The sapphire ring on his finger twinkled under the moonlight and caught his attention immediately. He rubbed the huge stone on the ring and sighed sadly. He playfully called the jewelry as an 'engagement ring' and reminded him of the wolf's admirable devotion to him as a protector and a companion. His fingers shook at the thought of pulling it off. He couldn't bear to do it but at the same time, he wanted to do it so that he won't have any feelings of regret when the time comes to let his friend go.

A snowy white owl hooted in a nearby tree. The sound distracted him and made him turn to look at the animal.

"His happiness matters to me… I can't give up now."

The owl gave another hoot before taking flight. The bird flew towards the moon in a somehow angelic grace. This prompted Ciel to move on and forget his dilemma about the ring.

Sebastien watched an owl fly across the full moon. The scene brought him even more melancholy. For hours he had avoided the boy whenever he had sniffed a whiff of his scent every time. The latest location he had fled to was the outdoor lounge where the tree he was left to die on stood there. That tree had his most memorable memory and it was where he had met Ciel; like a second chance at life.

"I shouldn't have had stuck with him! Why have I ever thought of such a thing?" He snorted. "I only planned to get him out of this place… Ah, I know. It's my fault to have forgotten my plan."

He thought over his mistake again and again. He realized that the consequence of forgetting his plans was his feelings for the human.

"And now he's doing all he can to get rid of me!"

Devotion. Not Love. Attempting to break the universal law seemed to be impossible. Perhaps that crazy maid was saying sense after all; the Union of Opposites simply cannot be. The union of a Human to a Beast is impossible for countless and provable reasons.

"Yes, I swore to the moon to be at his side forever." The wolf looked at the moon and remembered the night when he had made the oath. Tonight's time was the anniversary of that oath-taking and now, he was having doubts to what he had done. "I must've underestimated the consequences. I shouldn't have been so brash…"

The silver chain around his neck jingled when he scratched his ear with his hind leg. The tiny sound reminded him of his bondage of devotion to the boy as well as his foolishness of developing such an emotion. He used his hind leg to pry the thing off but the chain was wound tightly on him that it seemed impossible to get it off. He threw his head around wildly and desperately but the chain remained stuck around his neck.

"This will probably be my lifetime leash unless I could do something to break this." He circled about in his place as was his habit when he's absorbed in his thought. "Without sacrificing myself, of course."

He stretched his front paws down to the ground and proceeded to lie on the ground. "I have to think things over more…"

The owl's hoots lulled him into a refreshing sleep.

For the third time around, Ciel went inside the creepy music room that contained a pregnant statue of himself. For the nth time he refused to look at it and scouted the room again in concentration though his mind was terribly fatigued and he seemed groggy.

"He's not here either…" He groaned and sighed. He turned to exit the room to continue his search but his foot unfortunately got caught by one of the peg legs of the fallen bookcase thus, he stumbled and clumsily regained his balance moments later.

"Snap it all…" He cursed and tapped his ankles to check their condition. "I'm losing my motivation."

Suddenly, music played from the balcony again and it was the very same piece that he had listened to before being talked about by some prophecy. Ill feelings made his stomach churn as if in repulsion to the very idea of that man impregnating him.

"That, my dear, is what you WILL BECOME in the future!" The pregnant statue mocking him of the thought…

"WHO ARE YOU?" Ciel screamed up; his troubling thoughts and the seemingly insane piano keys intimidating him. He had to know who that menace was!

The music stopped and a familiar voice cut the silence. "Did my young master not like my performance?"

Ciel gasped and clasped his mouth. "Darnit! DARNIT!" He blushed in embarrassment and couldn't muster words on how to make an excuse about the awkward situation. "I have shouted at the wrong person!" He shook in anxiety as he remained in silence. "Why must Ash be here in—?"

His mind immediately prompted certain matters that he needed to clarify with him. "Oh… about that…"

The boy's train of thought broke when the servant spoke again. "It seems like my performance was mediocre. I apologize, my lord." Ash seemed upset and the tone troubled the boy very much. Ciel quickly made a move to start a conversation immediately and to settle everything once and for all. "N-no! I should be the one apologizing!" The boy called loudly. "Please stay for a while!"

Silence.

"About that time… I'm sorry. I just… didn't know what I was thinking because I…" Ciel stuttered and heat was quickly rushing to his face, his stomach seemed to be doing back-flips and his palms were starting to feel damp and clammy. Now or never. "I d-did that… B-because I… L-LIKE YOU!"

The statement he had just declared from his mouth seemed to echo all over his mind. He saw Ash appear from the railings; his expression unclear because of the distance. But what he said just now tolled on his self-esteem and he couldn't help but refuse to gaze at the eyes of the other in shame. "I like you Ash. Y-you must know…"

"Why is that a big concern to you, young master?" Ash said in a cold tone. "It's normal for us to like people—"

"Not the normal way!" Ciel closed his eyes; not wishing to see or feel condemning eyes. "I… I don't care if you're a man. I want you to do impossible things to me sometimes…!"

Silence lingered a little while before Ciel continued. "T-this is abnormal, I know!" His tears were attempting to leak out and his effort of holding them back was apparent in his voice. "The thoughts… You drive me crazy!"

"So, after I have listened to this confession of yours," Ash's tone seemed to voice out indifference and disgust. "What do you expect me to do?"

Ciel cried. He had made his mind prepared for this kind of rejection but the impact of the situation seemed too heavy to take. "I-I don't know…!"

A slam of a door from above concluded his feelings of rejection.

"He's disgusted of me… I knew it…!" Ciel furiously wiped off his tears and broke into a run to leave the place.

Ash felt elated. He didn't know how to describe the emotion. His breath was racing and he didn't know whatever was happening.

"No… No, what's happening to me? I shouldn't indulge in this… foolishness."

…But a small smile unconsciously broke in his face and it wasn't of smugness or triumph. Just genuine happiness and…

He leaned back against the door in submission to the confusion. "I'm getting distracted." He sighed and clenched his fists. "I have abandoned humanity. I must not return to it. No."

He recalled his plan again. Ciel must be his, no matter what. Whether the boy likes it or not, but…

He stopped plotting altogether to find an outlet for his frustration.

A/n: I'm still not doing well... I'm so disappointed with myself! *bawls in a corner as she attempts to write at least a page*

Anyways... let's see each other on April 11!

Read & Review! Thanks!