Title: The ARK Angels of DX and the Valley of Slaughter

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the WWE and TNA characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: T

Characters: Shawn, Cameron and Cheyenne Michaels, Amy 'Lita' Dumas Michaels, Hunter Hurst Helmsley, LC Helmsley, Aurora Rose Helmsley, The McCools, Chyna, Trish and Randy Orton, Melina and Johnny Hennigan, John Cena, Maria, Jeff Hardy, Stephanie McMahon, Team 3D, Velvet Sky, Christian, Bobby Lashley and Mr. Kennedy.

Summary: Children come back from the dead to kill children in a place known as the Valley of Slaughter in Mansfield, Ohio. The ARK Angels of DX and Jeff Hardy try to stop Ashley, Maria and John Morrison from going there but the demonic Carla B. Cool is expecting them and she's not alone.

Chapter Nineteen – Ear, Nose and Throat Candy

The Sandbox at 12pm:

Jeff and Steph decided it would be a good idea to throw the ARK Angels of DX a party to celebrate their latest victory, they planned it with the McCools and told various WWE and TNA Superstars to come to The McCools apartment in Manhattan tonight. They forgot to run it past DX who at the same-time were planning a party of their own for their children and they too had sent word throughout the wrestling world that it was happening tonight at The Sandbox.

"Where is everybody?" Hunter said with his fluorescent green party hat on cocked to the side and a noise-maker in the side of his mouth.

The sound of Chyna, Amy and Shawn laughing soon descended from the top of the stairs and The Game frowned wondering what was so funny. He was even more confused when they pulled on their coats, ushered the ARK Angels out the door and left him standing there like an indoor gnome. Hunter ran up to them before they got in the DX Machine.

"Hey where the Hell are you guys going?" Hunter demanded.

"To our party," LC said and Hunter looked at Shawn for an explanation.

"Shelton just called, it seems Jeff and Steph," Shawn started.

"Don't call them that!" Hunter said annoyed.

"Okay, J and S arranged a party for the ARK Angels too and all the guys are going," Shawn said and Hunter was so mad he bit his noise maker in half, "Yeah we figured this is exactly as you'd react so we'd thought it was best to not tell you and just go without you,"

Hunter shoved Shawn aside and crushed the Heartbreak Kid to the side of the DX Machine.

"I'm going with you," Hunter growled and the ARK Angels exchanged weary glances.

"You're not gonna make a total jackass of yourself in front of our kids and the entire roster are you?" Chyna asked her fiancé.

"I told you in Bloomingdale's, I was a Degenerate when you fell in love with me," Hunter replied and Chyna frowned.

"You were in Bloomingdale's?" Shawn asked Hunter, "What on Earth were you doing in Bloomingdale's?"

Amy laughed at Hunter, "This is not gonna be a party you guys are going to enjoy so why don't we reschedule it?"

"Are you kidding? I love watching Dad make a jack-ass out of himself," LC replied.

"You here that, your daughter thinks you're a jack-ass you must be so proud," Chyna snapped annoyed at Hunter's childish behavior.

"I expect you all to be wearing the DX party hats I bought," Hunter said ignoring Chyna, Shawn and Amy wished it was that easy to ignore him.

"Do we have to put the hats on now?" Shawn said.

"Let's get this party started!" Hunter said handing out the DX party hats to everyone, including the limo driver.

"Who are those hats for?" Shawn said pointing to the superfluous hats.

"For our party guests," Hunter replied and Amy stuck her head out of the DX Machine and laughed hysterically.

"This is Jeff and Steph's party not yours, you can't expect them to wear those hats," Chyna said through gritted teeth.

"Correction: it was Jeff Hardy and Stephanie Marie McMahon's party, in the words of the New World Order – "WE'RE TAKING OVER!!!" Hunter declared and blew his noise-maker loudly.

"This party is gonna blow chunks we might as-well get Carla and ride our scooters in Central Park," Cameron said to Cheyenne.

"I don't think we'll be alone," Cheyenne replied looking at how upset Chyna was that Hunter was going to ruin Jeff and Steph's well-intentioned party for the ARK Angels of DX.

The McCools' apartment, Manhattan, NYC at 1pm:

The entire WWE locker room and some of the TNA locker room were in attendance for the ARK Angels of DX party, there were even fans outside trying to get in. It took Bobby Lashley, Batista and Big Show to keep them from storming The McCools' apartment, one girl fainted when she saw Jeff Hardy and Stephanie felt so bad she asked Melina the Miraculous to come over just to revive her. Once the girl came to and got a hug, kiss and autograph from Jeff she gladly left him alone screaming all the way down the sidewalk.

"I guess you're gonna have to get used to this," Charlotte McCool said and Stephanie nodded, she was fully aware of the manic reaction to Jeff Hardy from wrestling fans worldwide, "I love your hair by the way,"

Melina agreed noticing the pink and blond dye job Stephanie had going, "Those colors really bring out your eyes," she said.

"Thanks Melina, I'm sure Hunter will make some sarcastic comment about it when he gets here," Stephanie said and Melina blanched.

"You invited Hunter?" she asked.

"I had no choice, it was either that or cancel our party so he could throw his," Stephanie said.

"Okay I have a question – why didn't you just plan the party for the ARK Angels together?" Melina said.

"Like Hunter would ever wanna do that, he hates Jeff and everything about him, you think those two can plan a party together?" Stephanie said and Big Show laughed, "What's so funny?"

"Why is it that your Ex's can't ever seem to get on?" Big Show asked going back up to The McCools apartment with Melina and Stephanie where everyone was hanging out.

"I don't know Big Show, but I do know that Jeff is my true love, after him they'll be no more," Stephanie said.

"Thank God," Big Show and Batista said together and Stephanie stuck her tongue out at them.

"They're here!" Jeff Hardy said excitedly and he grabbed Steph and ran down the stairs to greet the ARK Angels, he had to move pretty fast to catch them as they got on their scooters and headed for Central Park as soon as they got out of the DX Machine.

"Guys where are you going the party is upstairs!" Stephanie called after them and Jeff Hardy flew after them while Stephanie scratched her head, "What's going on here Hunter?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Triple H asked offended.

"Why are the ARK Angels scooting off when we've got a party for them?" Stephanie said, "Did you tell them to run off to get at me and Jeff?"

"Oh that's real nice Stephanie, just what kind of immature degenerate do you take me for?" Hunter said cocking his DX hat to one side while Stephanie observed that Shawn, Chyna and Amy were also wearing DX party hats.

"If you think for one second that our guests are going to be donning DX merchandize during this party you've got another thing coming. Jeff and me went to great lengths planning this party and we already brought hats of our own," Stephanie said and Hunter looked up at the McCools' apartment window and saw several wrestlers wearing fluorescent pink, green and purple hats in typical Hardy design.

"Is this a children's party or an acid rave?" Hunter said sarcastically.

"If you think that's bad wait til you get inside, the whole apartment is brightly colored just like my fiancé," Stephanie said.

"That explains your ridiculous dye job then," Hunter said and he felt a whoosh of heat up on the back of his neck and he turned to see Shawn and Amy scowling at him with Righteous Indignation.

Stephanie smiled relived that the Anointed Couple were back to their Indignant selves, "Looks like you better adjust your attitude if you wanna come to our party Hunter,"

"By a lot," Shawn added shoving Hunter on the shoulder aggressively and Hunter rubbed where his arm was now hot.

"Yeah, I think your hair looks great like that Steph, you're a Hardy girl now!" Amy said, "I sure hope it works out better for you than it did me,"

"Well your Amazing son said it would and if I can't trust Cameron's word, whose word can I trust?" Stephanie said and Chyna smiled at her.

"You're so happy Stephanie, I'm so glad you finally found the right man," Chyna said.

"That means a lot to me coming from you Joanie, our families have been through Hell but at least you're willing to get along with me unlike some people," Stephanie said looking at Hunter who wasn't happy for her at all.

"Hey where are the kids?" Kofi Kingston yelled from upstairs.

"They're with Jeff I think they went to the park to ride their scooters," Shawn said.

"That sounds like fun!" Maria said.

"Yeah let's go with them!" CM Punk added.

"YEAH!!" the wrestlers yelled together and they all headed downstairs much to Hunter's chagrin.

"STOP! Nobody is going anywhere!" Hunter yelled standing in front of the door and Stephanie gasped along with The McCools and the wrestlers mortified at Hunter's behavior and it was only going to get worse.

Meanwhile in Central Park the ARK Angels were hanging out with an invisible Aqua Libre and Carla who had joined them after asking her parents if it was okay. After scooting around the children thought about how cool it was going to be going to school together.

"This is gonna be awesome!" LC said dancing around.

"All I've ever wanted was to hang out with you guys and now I will, I'm so happy I could cry!" Carla said happily.

"Hey no crying, this is a time to celebrate and tears make me sad," LC said.

Aurora was definitely not sad as Jeff kept appearing and disappearing in front of a big oak tree, it was a supernatural game she loved and one she couldn't play with anyone else.

"How well are they getting on," Carla observed, "This must be driving your Dad crazy seeing Aurora love on Jeff like that,"

"You have no idea," Cameron said knowing the trouble Hunter had already started back at The McCools.

"Come on let's go back I want some cake," Cheyenne said and Cameron agreed reluctantly with a sigh, who was he to deny GPS cake on their special day?

As Jeff Hardy and the ARK Angels returned back to the McCools apartment they walked in on a massive argument between Hunter, Stephanie and the WWE roster who had wanted to go to Central Park with them.

"I don't care we are not going to Central Park!" Hunter protested.

"Its not like the fans are going to hurt us!" Matt Hardy protested as Jeff Hardy entered the room, "Oh hey Jeff you're back just in time to watch Hunter throw his weight around,"

The WWE locker room grumbled and the TNA wrestlers picked up on the tension between the roster and their owner.

"Looks like you're having a little trouble running things without Vince Hunter," Brother Ray said and Mr. Kennedy and Lashley nodded.

"I was doing just fine until this colorized son-of-a-bitch decided to usurp my authority!" Hunter snapped and Stephanie got white hot with anger.

"What's this?" Jeff said picking a DX party hat off of Edge's head.

"Hunter made us all wear them," Edge replied and the ARK Angels looked on the floor and saw Jeff's party hats tossed to one side in the corner.

Jeff shook his head and smiled, "You know what Hunter, keep your DX party hats if that's what you need to secure your authority over the greatest locker room in the world. I've got an announcement to make – I mean another one, not the one I made about marrying Stephanie, as great as that was,"

Hunter grimaced, "What is so important that it can't wait until tomorrow?" he asked annoyed.

"Mr. McMahon called me this morning and offered me a contract at TNA and after Wrestlemania, I'm gonna take it," Jeff said and everyone gasped.

"You're leaving?" Shawn said tearing up and Amy comforted him.

"Yeah, after Wrestlemania," Jeff said and Hunter's facial expression hadn't changed one bit.

"How about before Wrestlemania?" he said.

"And miss out on making that vein in your head pop as you build the card for 'Mania while getting married to Chyna? No way!" Jeff said and everyone laughed.

"So we've got a whole month more of you to go," Big Show said.

"That's right and if I were you I'd enjoy every single minute of it," Jeff Hardy said.

"I won't," Hunter scowled.

"I know and since you're sucking the life out of this so-called party, I'll lighten the blow by getting out of your sight," Jeff said and he disappered and Aurora started to cry loudly and bolts of thunder struck the sky and it started to rain heavily inside The McCools apartment.

"Urgh Aurora's upset, that's not good for our furniture!" Dan McCool cried.

"Hunter make it stop!" Charlotte McCool said and Hunter tried to comfort his daughter but she didn't respond to his affectionate hugs and kisses at all. He suddenly felt her slipping out of his hands and he watched as she seemed to float in the air. The rain stopped and she smiled much to the McCools and the wrestlers' relief.

"How is she doing that?" Kofi Kingston asked as Aurora went up and down in the air.

"I'll show you how," Hunter scowled and he punched the air violently and suddenly Jeff reappeared with a busted nose.

"Oh my God!" Stephanie said running over to Jeff while everyone gasped appaled at what Hunter just did.

"How could you do that to one of your top guys?" Bobby Lashley asked and the McCools turned to him very upset.

"I'm sorry Hunter but we're gonna have to ask you to leave," Dan McCool said.

"That's fine by me, come on kids let's go home and have the party I planned in the first place for you," Hunter said but the ARK Angels didn't move an inch.

"We're staying here Daddy, you freaking psycho!" LC said.

"Yeah, we don't wanna hang with you right now Uncle Hunter," Cameron said.

"And neither do we," Shawn and Amy said as Melina attended to Jeff Hardy and she quickly healed him up real nice.

"Are you alright?" she asked Jeff.

"No he's not alright and he won't be until he's outta the WWE and away from Hunter completely!" Stephanie yelled furiously.

"You mean like you are? Oh wait, no you're still here ruining my life," Hunter said and he planted himself by the wall and folded his arms over his chest, "Well I'm done with everybody telling me what to do, I'm staying right here,"

Everyone looked at Hunter like he had totally lost his mind and Jeff looked at the ARK Angels who were upset at the way he was acting on their special day. The sight of their sad faces suddenly caught Hunter's attention and he decided to speak up and apologize but once again Jeff was one step ahead of him.

"Fine, if you won't leave, we will. Everybody gather 'round," Jeff said and everyone crowded around him in a circle.

"What you doing Jeff?" Matt asked his little brother.

"You'll see but no-one will see us," Jeff replied and he prayed for God to make them all invisible for the rest of the day and God honored his request, "Okay let's go to Central Park and celebrate al fresco!"

"Won't everybody see us?" Kelly Kelly asked and Hunter started to look around for everyone who had suddenly seemed to have disappeared, "Oh my goodness we're invisible!"

"This is the coolest thing ever!" Batista said.

"Come on let's go!" Kofi Kingston said launching out the door which seemed to open by itself.

"I'll get the cake," Edge said and Hunter watched as the cake moved seemingly of its own accord out of the room and down the steps.

Shawn looked back at Hunter who was still pulsating with rage, the sight of unrighteous indignation was ugly indeed and Shawn had to change the expression on Hunter's face one way or another.

"Edge pass me that cake," Shawn said once they were outside.

"What are you doing with our cake Daddy?" Cheyenne asked her father and everyone gasped as Shawn threw the cake up at Hunter as he stuck his head out of the McCools' window.

"Right on the nose," Chyna said and everyone laughed as pedestrians looked up and saw The Game dripping with icing.

"I'll buy you guys another cake okay?" Shawn said to the ARK Angels as they walked to Central Park invisible to the naked eye.

"That's okay Dad, seeing what you just did was as the cake we could ever want," Cameron said.

"Speak for yourself," Cheyenne said pointing to the a 3 tier chocolate cake in the window of a cake shop on the way to Central Park.

"Okay Chey but not now, we can't go in and order a cake while we're invisible," Shawn said.

"Just go in and take it and leave the cash on the counter," Amy said.

"No way that's crazy," Shawn replied.

"Oh you are such a wuss Shawn Michaels, I'll do it," Amy said marching into the cake shop while Cheyenne applauded.

"Did you just call me a wuss?" Shawn said to his wife and he marched into the cake shop after her.

Chyna sighed watching them while trying to forget Hunter's behavior completely, "How could one half of DX be so sweet and the other half so stupid? I hope I'm marrying the right man Stephanie," she said to the future Mrs. Hardy.

"This is Hunter at his worst, things won't always be this way," Stephanie said.

"I shouldn't have let him get out of control like that," Chyna said, "You know Jeff could sue him,"

"I know believe me I know, why do you think Jeff's leaving after Wrestlemania? If this is how Hunter acts with Jeff around its better for the whole locker room that Jeff not be there anymore," Stephanie said.

"I think it was when Jeff made Aurora smile and stop making it rain that caused him to over-react," Chyna said.

"Imagine how he's going to act when she comes to live with us," Stephanie said and Chyna's mouth hit the floor.

"What do you mean Aurora's going to live with you?" Chyna asked.

"Haven't you noticed Joanie? She barely knows Hunter and after today I don't think I should subject my daughter to Hunter's violent mood swings anymore," Stephanie said.

"Aurora already has violent mood swings, that's why she's Hurricane Aurora!" Chyna protested.

"And living with Hunter makes them worse, haven't you noticed that she never smiles when Hunter's around, yet when Ro-Ro's with Jeff I've never seen her so happy and I want my daughter to be happy," Stephanie said.

"Stephanie you can't take Aurora from Hunter, it'll break his heart!" Chyna said.

"I've made up my mind Joanie so don't try to talk me out of it," Stephanie said.

"How long have you been planning this?" Chyna said.

"Honestly since LC came into the picture – she's a Helmsley through-and-through but Aurora, she's a McMahon and soon she'll be a McMahon-Hardy," Stephanie said proudly, "I'm sorry Jo but its time for a change, for all of us,"

"Don't you mean for you and your family at the expense of me and my family?" Chyna snapped.

"Yes I do and if I were you I'd focus on your family too because family is all that matters," Stephanie said.

"Yeah, The McMahon family," Chyna replied as chocolate went passed her to Stephanie from Shawn and Amy who were handing out pieces of chocolate cake on the way to Central Park.

"This cake is yummy!" Cameron said.

"Good choice Chey!" Carla said.

"Should we save some for Daddy?" LC asked Chyna.

"Yeah, we should," Chyna replied.

"Even though he doesn't deserve it," LC said.

"Go easy on your Daddy LC okay?" Chyna said.

"Why, he's behaving like such a jack-ass? And I thought it would be funny, boy was I wrong," LC replied.

"Because Lisa pretty soon, you're going to be the only thing that jack-ass has to call his own," Chyna said and LC frowned.

"What do you mean by that Mom?" LC said.

"Stephanie told me that she's taking Aurora away from Hunter," Chyna said.

"She's WHAT?!!" LC said and she ran up to Stephanie and attacked her, "You're trying to ruin my family again? Didn't you learn anything from last year?!!"

"LC get off me!!" Stephanie said fighting off the little warrior princess.

"You're trying to break up my family!!" LC argued raking at Stephanie's hair.

"LC I am your family!" Stephanie protested.

"Don't try that reverse psychology on me, my father is the Cerebral Assassin he invented that!" LC snapped and Stephanie finally got away from LC.

"No this is no trick I mean it. You are my family because Aurora adores you and I would never dream of doing anything to upset her like take her away from you," Stephanie said and LC frowned.

"But Mom said that you were gonna take Aurora away from Daddy, that means you're taking her away from me and the other ARK Angels," LC said confused.

"I am gonna take her away from Hunter but not from you or the ARK Angels," Stephanie said, "You can come and see her anytime you want, all of you can,"

"Stephanie you don't understand I'm her Keeper she can't work without me as an ARK Angel, I have to be around her at all times, not just now and again," LC explained.

"We'll talk about it more later just enjoy the rest of your day okay?" Stephanie said and she kissed LC lovingly on the cheek and LC scratched her head confused. Stephanie had gotten much closer to her over the last few months but she was finding it hard to trust her the way she trusted the other members of the DX family. After being disowned by her father, divorced, widowed and suffering a nervous breakdown, having two more children and possibly another down the road with Jeff Hardy, Stephanie just seemed to get more and more unpredictable as the years went by.

"I think Aunt Steph's two marbles short of a full bag Mom, I wouldn't worry about losing Aurora anytime soon," LC said to Chyna but the 9th Wonder of the World was worried, she was very worried indeed and not even the taste of chocolate fudge cake could take that worry away.

"Thanks Chey but I really don't feel like eating," Chyna said and Cheyenne frowned wondering how anyone could say no to chocolate fudge cake, espeically one this good.

"Hmmm," Cheyenne said taking another bite before leaving Chyna with LC and skipping ahead to share some of the cake with her father, brother and Anointed step-mother. Her future sister-in-law considered joining them but instead she squeezed her mother's hand a little tighter, the cake would have to wait until her side of the DX family was just as sweet as the other side.

Stephanie caught up with Jeff who was about to take flight with Aurora and go on a little aerial spin around Central Park, "Not without me you guys!" Stephanie cried out and Jeff and Aurora smiled as she approached them.

"Like we'd ever think of leaving without you," Jeff said with arms wide open and Aurora strapped to his chest and Stephanie kissed him before jumping on his back. They took off and flew over the other ARK Angels and friends who were having fun being invisible for a day.

"I could get used to this," Stephanie said to herself.

Jeff was already used to it and with Aurora on-board there was no stopping it: soon they would be one. Steph embraced Jeff and Aurora lovingly and together the new family soared to great, new and exciting heights with no sign of ever coming back down to Earth.

The Adventures of the ARK Angels of DX will conclude in The Warrior Bride.