I Know What I Am

Stoplight lock the door
Don't look back
Undress in the dark
And hide from you
All of you

Snow White Queen- Evanescence

(A.N.): Hello again :D! So here's my new story... I hope you like :). My very first attempt here at EPOV I hope it's not too crap :P.

Here's chapter 1...

Enjoy xD!

(Disclaimer): I'm pretty sure you don't all think I own Twilight, if any of you do, sorry but no I'm afraid not :P.

Chapter 1: Snow White Queen

BPOV

I ran as fast as I could, through dense trees and long grass. I only had one destination in my mind. I pushed myself further, stretching my muscles and straining my body even more.

I could see the edge of the cliff, smell the salt from the sea, feel the rush of the wind on my face. It was exhilarating

I should slow down, stop, but I didn't, I couldn't. I flung my body off the side of the cliff and catapulted into the ocean. The icy water stung my skin as I thrashed around, trying to get to the unreachable surface. I could hear my angel's voice calling me from far, far away.

"Bella, Bella!" And again.

"Bella I'm here, you're fine."

I woke with a start, a cold sheen of sweat coating my body. Edward was hovering over me with worry etched into the contours of his flawless face.

This wasn't the first time that I'd woken up from this exact same dream, it had been happening ever since the incident with James. I knew that this was worrying Edward, he hadn't a clue what was going on. I, however, did.

I breathed a heavy sigh. Edward scooped me up into his marble arms and rocked me gently, humming my lullaby into my hair. Usually that would calm me down but it just made me more alert about what was happening.

"It's okay Bella, Carlisle said that it's normal for you to be having nightmares after what you went through with James." He whispered, I nodded and hugged myself closer to him. This had nothing to do with James but Edward couldn't know that. He could never know that.

The guilt that flooded through me was unbearable, what was I doing? I would hurt Edward but I had to go, I had to leave and soon.

"What time is it?" I mumbled.

"It's five thirty, Billy has just come and picked your dad up, he's going fishing." Edward told me. I sighed again, pried myself away from him and shuffled off to the bathroom.

As soon as the steam started pumping from the shower I stepped in. The water was the one thing that could relax me, soothe me. I could get my thoughts straight in the water.

I hadn't a clue what I was going to do, the only thing that sprung to mind was my sisters. I had to tell them, I promised them I would but Edward. Edward. I couldn't hurt him. There was, however, no other option. I would have to do this.

As I trudged down the stairs, I could hear Edward talking on the phone to what seemed like Carlisle...

"Yes again... I'm worried that she might be a little traumatised... I know... Okay goodbye." He spoke quietly but sharply. It was obvious that he didn't like what he was hearing.

I walked to him and gently kissed his cheek, he turned and nuzzled his nose against my cheek.

"I have to go hunting but I'll be back by tomorrow." He smiled. I nodded sadly. I guess that I would be leaving sooner rather than later.

"Please be safe." He chuckled as he kissed my forehead and headed for the door, I smiled but I don't think it reached my eyes. 'Be safe' were our words of departure always now.

As soon as I heard his car pull off the gravel in the drive I headed back to my bedroom, I searched through my cupboards desperately. When I finally found the phone I flipped it up and looked straight through my contacts, to the number I thought that I wouldn't have to ring for a long time.

It didn't take long for them to answer, after all this was the emergency number, there was only one reason that I would ring from this phone.

"Bella." Esmerelda sounded anxious.

"It's time." I breathed.

"What? Now! You need to get yourself here." She said, it was clear that she was shocked. I felt a little offended.

"Okay bye." As I put the phone down I realised what had just happened, what was just happening.

I didn't even bother packing my things, I just opened the door and

walked into the cold morning air. I realised that just leaving would be wrong of me, after all that Edward had done, I couldn't just go. I loved this man.

I walked back into the living room and pulled out a pen and a piece of paper. This was the easiest way to go.

After about ten minutes I realised that this was harder that I thought. I couldn't think of anything to write. I wrote the only thing that I felt. A single tear rolled down my cheek and splashed the page, several more soon followed until I was soon sobbing profusely.

Bleary eyed and unhappy I made my way through the forest to the small stream where I knew my 'pet' lived. I whistled a few times and waited. I didn't have to wait long, I could hear the steady pounding of hooves against the dirt as my beautiful horse came into view.

Her long mane billowed behind her and she stopped just in front of me. She really was magical but then again, so was everything in my life.

I leaped up onto her back and galloped away from my home, from my life, from the family I loved but most importantly from the man I loved.

EPOV (For The First Time Ever xD!)

Poor Bella, it was all my fault that she was having nightmares, if it weren't for me then she would never even had to encounter James.

She was currently having a shower, I know that it calmed her so I walked down to her living room. I loved coming to Bella's. It was always so peaceful especially in my mind, I couldn't hear Bella's thoughts at all and it was easy for me to tune Charlie out. Everything was very quiet, it was a nice change from a busy, lively home. Lively, I chuckled at my own little joke.

My phone began to vibrate in my pocket and Bella's lullaby began playing softly. I answered it quickly and was relieved when it was Carlisle and not Alice. I don't think I was in the mood for her right now.

"Edward, Alice says that you must go hunting, she knew that you weren't in the mood though so she asked me to call." He sighed. I already knew that my eyes were almost black and as Bella pointed out, I get irritable when I'm hungry.

"How's Bella been, has she been having nightmares again?" He asked. I could hear Bella's soft footsteps coming down the stairs.

"Yes again."

"What do you think it is?" Well you are the doctor, you tell me.

" I'm worried that she might be a little traumatised."

"You need to look out for her." He said. I already knew that.

"I know... Okay goodbye." I closed the phone, I was trying to be as calm as possible but my voice did come out a little too sharp.

Bella crossed the room and planted a small kiss on my cheek. The action was so human, so sweet. I loved this woman so much, life without her just wasn't an option. I turned my head and nuzzled my nose against her cheek.

"I have to go hunting but I'll be back by tomorrow." I told her. She nodded glumly. I hated leaving her, especially overnight when she had her nightmares. I kissed her forehead and walked to the door. I gave her one last smile and walked out of the door.

I took off running through the forest that led to my house. As I walked up the path I could already hear the noise of my families minds. Emmett and Jasper came out to meet me.

"Dude you up for some major animal ass kickin'!" Emmett boomed.

"Imbecile." Jasper thought, I chuckled. (A.N: Peoples thoughts will be in italics)

We all took off running, we were going quite far out today, away from Forks. After about five minutes we all split up to do our own thing, of course I could still hear their thoughts.

As I finished up on my third mountain lion I decided to listen to everyone's thoughts.

"Woooh yeah! Grizzly bear!" I shook my head, only Emmett.

"Alice? I can smell her, she's close." Jasper sounded confused. I sniffed the air, I could smell her too.

"Hey is that Alice?" Emmett had finally caught on.

"Edward come quick, it's Bella." Alice thought-screamed. I jumped up and sprinted to where Alice was stood looking completely worried. Jasper and Emmett followed close behind, both coming in from opposite directions.

"Alice What's happened?" I shouted but I didn't have to ask, Alice showed me her vision.

"Edward, she's left, my best friend, gone..." She broke off at the end. Jasper gently wrapped his arms around her.

"Dude, are you okay? Shall we go." Jasper asked. I nodded feebly, maybe she hadn't gone yet.

I ran, flat out, to Bella's house. The door was locked, she'd posted the keys through the letter box. I dug out the spare key and wrenched the door open. I looked frantically for her but it was true she was gone.

I broke down, her scent was everywhere, why had she left me? What did we do?

Alice, Jasper and Emmett came in and instantly they knew. Alice came and wrapped her arms round me, if she could cry I think she would right now.

"Edward I'm so sorry, I thought we'd get here in time." Her words were broken. I couldn't speak, I couldn't move.

I noticed something small out of the corner of my eye, it was a letter and addressed to me in Bella's untidy scrawl. It smelt like her tears. I went over and picked it up, intrigued as to what she's put. I couldn't get into her mind, maybe this letter would help.

As I opened it my dead heart sank at the two small words...

'I'm sorry'

(A.N.): Awwwwww, poor Edward, but at least we get an inkling into what Bella is doing... Okay you didn't but still :P.

At least we know that whatever it is it's not Eduardo's fault.

Loved/hated it, tell me what you thought :D. By the way pictures of Bella's horsey on my profile...

I love you :)...

--XColourOfAngelsX--