Author's Note: Hey, this is my first fic. The first chapter is kinda rushed and a little long… ok, very long, but I'm very proud of it! The title I'm not so happy about. So, I will appreciate criticism, even flames (*gulp*) but I'd really, really love it if there was no cursing. Please read and review!

Chapter 1

I gazed at him while he worked, chopping wood for the fire. I looked at him like there was no tomorrow, which might as well have been true. I wanted to memorize him before I ignored him forever. And why was I going to ignore him? I'm not exactly ready to answer that. I just stared at him. I saw his muscled arms, tensed as they raised the makeshift axe high; arms that I wanted to hold me… I felt my heart tremble. I memorized his dark brown hair, hair that I knew was soft now from lack of gel, hair that I wanted to run my fingers through… my heart skipped a beat… I gazed at his chest as he turned slightly towards me, and I could see the outline of his abs through his T-shirt… my heart was suddenly pierced with a deep crack and I nearly gasped out loud. Yes, he was hot. Yes, I loved him for more than that. But, it's not like I could look at his heart without crying or something. So, as he turned towards me and I caught sight of his square jaw- crack- I quickly turned away as if I'd never spent the whole of five minutes just staring at him. I turned right before I could catch his deep blue eyes, right before my heart broke completely. I bent down towards the cloth in my lap. That was it. It was over. No more looking at him or talking to him. Nothing.

I tried to focus on my sewing. When Daley found out I could sew, she had Jackson make a makeshift needle and I pulled fibers from coconut husks to mend the numerous rips and tears in our clothing. I swear, by the time we get off this island, I'll need glasses.

And then, all of a sudden, he started humming. And my heart didn't break; it shattered into a million pieces and left me with a great void, dark, hard and cold, where my heart once rested. He was humming the song he wrote for Taylor the night he told her he loved her. I'd forgotten how much his voice affected me. I still remembered her shriek of joy and his reprimand, asking her to keep it low because he wasn't ready for the others- me- to know yet. I remembered him kissing her, softly at first, before she pushed him on the ground and literally shoved her tongue in his mouth. I remembered running away, my hand clapped over my mouth, heartbroken. Well, not entirely. I had been counting on it being a dream. That was before I saw the hickey on Taylor's neck today that she "tried" to cover up.

Of course, I couldn't really focus on my sewing because Jackson brushed right past me, his arm briefly touching mine, as he passed on his way out of the forest. I was surprised my heart didn't tremble. I felt nothing. He stopped.

"Sorry, Mel," he said quickly. Sorry. He's sorry for brushing against me. Heaven knows I would have forgiven him for more than that if he would just accept me. I would have forgiven him if he had killed me, which I wouldn't have minded since that would have ended the hard numbness... Oh crap. I sounded so emo.

"It's alright. You don't need to apologize," I murmured softly without looking up. And it was true. He never would need to apologize, not for breaking my heart or cracking it or lying to me. It really wasn't fair, and I wished I could make him pay, but nooo, life handed me the soft heart. Life just isn't fair, you know? Now, I guessed I had no heart.

As he walked on his way out of the forest and away from me (Eric claimed there were too many people at camp and it was too crowded for me), I finished the shirt I was working on. It had a hole the size of a pinhead, so it didn't take long. In fact, it shouldn't have needed to be fixed since it barely had a hole. For the first time, I really looked at the shirt I was fixing. It was a pink and white horizontally striped, low cut, very ruffled, very sparkly halter tank- Taylor's. I vaguely remembered her complaining that the small hole gave her a draft and nearly laughed hysterically at the irony.

"Jackson?" I asked softly, surprised to hear my voice crack. I practically whispered his name, so it was a surprise to see him turn to me.

"Yeah?" he asked. I still didn't look up. Instead, I stuck her shirt out and looked away from him by pretending to sort through the basket of clothes at my feet.

"Could you take this to Taylor? It's her shirt."

Jackson walked to me and took the shirt from my hands. "Sure," he answered. He hesitated before asking, "You okay, Mel?" I looked up involuntarily and saw his deep blue eyes. I expected no pain because of the loss of my heart, but instead I felt a horrible, consuming burning in that hole of mine, giving no light or life to my empty shell, but burning it darker and darker.

"I'm fine," I lied, trying not to wince at the horrible burning. Even after he left, the burning continued, making me harder and colder, yet fiercer and fierier. The burning shook the hole, almost as if something was within. Oh, I'm fine, Jackson. Thanks for asking.

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The day ended very soon, and we were all encamped around the campfire, huddled together in couples under blankets. Unfortunately. Jackson and Taylor cuddled each other "subtly" as Daley and Nathan shot them weird looks from under their blanket. This, of course, left me and Eric to try our best and warm ourselves under a blanket together and at the same time try not to touch each other. Basically, half of me was shivering from the cold, and the other half was shivering from being close to Eric. Finally I couldn't stand the way Taylor shot me little smug looks as she rubbed herself against Jackson while he pretended not to notice.

"Taylor! Why don't you tell us about you and Jackson?" I said cheerfully. I couldn't stand the way Jackson tried to hide it. He shot me a surprised glance and I caught it from the corner of my eye, but refused to look at him. Taylor glanced at Jackson, as if to ask for permission. He gave an almost imperceptible shake of his head and she gave a disappointed huff. Obviously, she had been looking forward to rubbing the fact that Jackson was hers in my face. Rolling her eyes and giving a look that clearly said, "I'm only saying this because of Jackson," she answered.

"There's nothing going on! We're just friends, Melissa." Yet, the way she said my name in her sickly sweet voice told me otherwise.

"Really? That's not what it looked like last night!" I smiled just as falsely. "If I remember correctly, that was a VERY hot and heavy make out session you two were having." Jackson looked up sharply and Taylor raised an eyebrow smugly.

"How?" I heard Jackson's hoarse voice, interrupting Taylor just as she opened her mouth. My face became stubborn, the smile wiped off my face.

"I heard singing on the way to camp, found you two, saw the smacking, and went to camp. End of story."

"We were going to tell you guys," Taylor said with a little giggle. I turned away from them, my mouth twisting as I drank some boiled water from the husk at my foot. "Are you over him?" Taylor asked suddenly. I turned to see her idiotic flirtatious grin morph into a sly grin. Jackson didn't see it; he was studying his feet. Eric was currently passed out from the shock. Naturally, Nathan and Daley were staring at me. I met her eyes with a cold smirk.

"Why would I fall for a guy who doesn't have the guts to tell a girl he isn't into her?" I asked. Jackson lifted his eyes again.

"That isn't why-" he began, but I plowed on.

"-Or a guy who leads girls on. I'm not into players." Taylor pursed her lips, clearly disappointed at my reaction. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to pour water on Eric. He passed out, you know." I cannot begin to describe how good it felt to stand up strong. I cannot begin to describe how horrifying it was to stand up heartless. I can tell you that I hope Eric recovers. Which is weird.

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I sat next to Eric as he sputtered, still wet.

"Look, I don't know who you think you are, but I am a citizen of America and you have no right to touch me!" he yelled. I rolled my eyes. Eric was under the impression that I wasn't a U.S. citizen.

"Eric! I was born in California!" I exclaimed. He looked at me, dumbfounded.

"Wha? You didn't jump the border? No fence climbing?" I started laughing.

"No, you idiot. My family's from China! Even if I did come illegally, I'd have to jump over the Pacific Ocean, not a fence!" I said when I could catch my breath. Why was this funny to me? No idea. Maybe the loss of my heart meant the loss of some brain cells. Eric was looking at me funny, almost in a daze.

"You have a nice laugh…" he looked surprised."Or maybe it's just 'cause you never laugh." I cocked my head.

"Of course I laugh! I just don't laugh much now." My tone was angry and defensive, and I immediately regretted it. "Sorry," I mumbled, ducking my head.

"It's alright," he said, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. "You're probably still upset over Jackson and Taylor." I looked up sharply, wincing as I got whiplash.

"What are you talking about? I'm not upset! I'm not into Jackson anymore!" Eric just smirked. "Yeah? Well, can you blame me? I was led on and he made me think he was going to choose me! I'm so gullible…" Somewhere along the rant, my tone had become despair. Eric didn't move.

"Yeah, I know the feeling," he said simply. "Sucks, huh?" That's when I remembered. Eric practically worshipped Taylor, something about seeing her faint in class.

"Yeah… I'm sorry," I said, feeling horrible for complaining in front of Eric. Which is weird. Again.

"You know what the worst part is? I can't even be mad at her! I could punch Jackson, but I couldn't even yell at her. What the heck? I'm Eric! I'm not supposed to feel this way! I take revenge! I get mad! I get what I want! So WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME?" His face was red.

"I know what you mean. For some strange reason, I can't even think of being mean to him. I could yell at Taylor all day - stop looking at me like that, I could- but I've already forgiven him. I shouldn't have! I don't want to! But I already have! It's so, so, so… sucky!"

"What can you do?" Eric asked helplessly.

"You know what's worse?" I asked him, not expecting an answer.

"The fact that everyone but us is coupled? And that we have no friends to turn to?" he answered. I was taken aback, and I looked him over before nodding.

"Well… we have each other. And I promise I won't betray you or anything, even though you probably won't believe me because of that whole video incident…" I was a bit shocked. Eric had a heart? Since when?

"Of course I believe you," I interrupted his musings softly. "You're all I got. Plus," I added after seeing his face, "you're kinda amazing when you're not being a jerk. Thanks." Eric grinned.

"So, if I'm in danger, you'll still save me again?" he asked teasingly. I punched his shoulder lightly.

"Always." I don't know what made us do it, but we both did it at the same time. Really. I didn't start it, and neither did he. It just happened. So please, please don't hurt me when I say that…

We kissed.

A/N: So there you go! My first chapter. *sigh* I just love MelissaxJackson... anyway, please click the review button! You know you want to...