It was pouring rain and I don't mean slightly pouring I mean pouring as in you can barely see pouring. To put it lightly it sucked! It wasn't like I wasn't having a bad enough day already. I quit my job because I got tired of my boss hitting on me all of the time. He was a sleazy old man with no morals. My rent was coming up and my car just broke down! Can life get any worse? Oh yeah I'm miles from home and my damn cell phone won't work because of the weather and oh yeah I'm walking in the soaking rain. I couldn't just sit in my car though I should have.

I was in a bad section of town. In Dallas you have bad sections and good sections right next to each other it's kind of funny how that works. I'm currently in one of the richer sections only its residences and not shopping centers so it's not really doing me much good at the moment. I don't like being in this area. It reminds me of things I'd rather not remember. People I'd rather not see some things are better left unsaid.

I tried to pick up my pace trying my cell again but it was no use. The stupid thing was soaked. I could have cried this is just my freaking luck! I wanted to scream and rip my hair out! I stopped when I saw a flash across my peripheral vision. Please tell me I'm seeing things I can't take any more tonight. I looked around but kept walking suddenly beside me I felt my arm move and turned.

"Well hello pretty lady long time no see." Stan tipped his hat to me. I frowned and turned my head back toward the road ignoring him.

"Don't tell me you aren't going to speak to me it's been so long…Godric will be hurt you came by and didn't stop by to say hello."

"I'm sure he'll get over it." I said with venom.

"Ah… now precious don't be that way. Look at you all wet and cold let me take you in and get you something dry? You look like you could get what's that thing humans get?" I stopped looking at him funny.

"Pnemonia?"

"Yes, that." He smiled at me.

"I don't want your hospitality really I'd rather get pneumonia thank you." I turned and continued walking. He chuckled and was beside me again. "You always were such an amusing human. I never could figure you out I tried but…just didn't get it."

"Great glad to amuse you could you go away like….say now?" I said trying to pretend he wasn't there.

"Vangie, let's not be rude now. I am being a nice social vampire being friendly and expanding my horizons."

I tried not to laugh. Stan being social he was so full of it. I hope it doesn't start lightning in this direction. He is sure to be struck.

"Where is your raincoat? Your umbrella perhaps?" He questioned.

I stopped putting my hand on my hips.

"I must have decided to leave it in the car darn that was just careless of me. I guess I wanted to get cold and wet."

He laughed, "So you are cold? Good then you won't mind if I do this."

"Do what?" I questioned panicked.

He lifted me over his shoulder and was off before I could breathe. I screamed and kicked but it was no use he was too strong for me. I was in the house and dumped unceremoniously in the middle of a room before I knew what hit me. All was suddenly silent. I looked at the white carpet I was dripping on and knew exactly where I was.

I swallowed hard brushing my long red hair out of my face. I did not want to be in this house, his house ever again. I was afraid to look up but I did. I was met with his bright blue eyes he stood slowly moving towards me and kneeling.

"Are you well?" He reached out to push my hair back.

"I'm fine." I snapped pushing his hand away. He sighed looking down the pain written all over his face, dripping from his voice.

"Isabel could you please assist Evangeline?" His sad eyes met mine once more time before he stood and turned away. I felt Isabel's presence and stood following her to the bathroom. I said nothing when it was Godric's room she led me to. She handed me some towels.

"You can take a warm shower. I will place some clothes on the bed for you." She turned to walk out. I had nothing against Isabel in fact I missed her.

"Isabel?"

She turned.

"Thank you."

She smiled, "You are welcome."

I stood in the warm steam angry at Stan for forcing me here yet glad to be out of the freezing cold. I was trying not to focus on the fact I was face to face with Godric again. I hadn't seen him in three years and I didn't want to see him ever again. It was too hard the first time. I had so many memories here. I sighed getting out of the shower and drying off. I combed through my waist length hair and walked through the bathroom door with a towel wrapped around me.

I stopped when I saw Godric on the other side of the room. He had his back to me but he knew of my presence. I looked down on the bed it was a pair of my old jeans and one of his sweaters. I was surprised he still had anything of mine. I lifted the jeans and he spoke.

"I couldn't get rid of your things I knew you hated me but somehow it didn't matter. I guess I kept them with the vain hope one day you would forgive me."

"Don't count on it." I said slipping them on. His head fell but he didn't turn. I tossed the towel and slipped on his oversized sweater at least it was warm. Oh god! It smelled like him! I closed my eyes for a moment and gathered myself.

"Look it wasn't exactly my idea to come here and if it wasn't for Stan I wouldn't be here right now." I said honestly. "I don't know what you want me to say?"

He turned leaning on the wall.

"I don't expect you to say anything. There is nothing to say I suppose." He looked at me silently.

I sat on the edge of his bed looking around nothing had changed at all. I can still remember every touch, every… I closed my eyes shaking my head. He watched me curiously as I fought with myself.

"Memories haunt you?" He questioned.

"No." I stood. "They never have I've moved on."

I turned away and went back to the bathroom messing with my hair. My hands were shaking as I pretended to be calm. I jumped when I felt him beside me. He gently brushed my hair back over my shoulder.

"That's good. I am glad you are happy it is what I wish for you."

I gripped the sink holding myself together wishing he would just go away.

"Great and you Godric you are doing well, happy and all that?" I asked making the mistake of looking at him.

His crystal blue eyes looked down. "I pass the time it is all… to say I was happy would be untrue, for I have not been happy since you left my life." He looked back up into my eyes. His right hand reaching out and touching my cheek softly. I was lost in his eyes and allowed the touch.

"I am lost without you." I watched a single red tear run down his cheek. I stepped back shaking my head.

"I won't do this…I…no Godric not again."

"Evangeline, please." He moved toward me and I backed further away.

"No! You stay away from me. I trusted you once and I will never make that mistake again." I calmed myself and walked past him as he grabbed my arm only for me to pull loose.

"What do you want from me Godric?" I turned yelling at him. "Do you want me broken and beaten down? Maybe you prefer me in a mental institution because that is where I was last time do you remember that Godric? Do you remember me having a breakdown? Do you remember why? I can't do this again! I don't want you to love me. I want you to hate me like I hate you!" I screamed.

He simply released my arm bowing his head. "I'm so sorry." He whispered.

I turned walking out of the room and slamming the door. I saw all of the vampires were starring at me. I am sure in shock that anyone would talk to their sheriff in such a way. I don't care so kill me, I'm better off dead anyway. I don't have anything left to live for.

"Isabel can I borrow the phone?"

"Yes, of course you know where it is." She answered.

I walked into the kitchen and called my friend making arrangements for her to pick me up. I sat at the table quietly looking out the back window. Isabel rested her hand on my shoulder.

"Are you ok?"

"I will be." I answered.

"Can I get you anything?"

I shook my head no.

She sat down in front of me. "I know you have your reasons for how you feel. I also know grief and pain take time to work through but blaming Godric isn't fair. He blames himself enough don't you think?"

"I don't know what I think anymore. Isabel I'm pretty much numb."

She took my hand, "I don't see that at least I didn't when you looked at him."

"Isabel…" I warned.

"No, no hear me out. I'm not going to tell you go to him. It is not my place what I will say is this for three years he has punished himself worse than you can ever imagine. The pain you are inflicting on him now is unjust he has suffered enough he needs your forgiveness he needs peace even if you do not return to him. Think about it he will live an eternity with this on his heart."

"I will try Isabel."

"Thank you. Search your soul you know I am right he is not to blame. He failed yes but no one is perfect. Has he not suffered enough?"

I inhaled sharply taking in her words when I heard the honk.

"That's my ride. I will think about what you said Isabel I promise."

She nodded and I turned heading through the living room. I stopped seeing Godric looking out the back door. He looked lost and upset. I knew it was because of me but right now I couldn't fix it. He must have felt my eyes because he turned to me. Our eyes met for a moment. We said no words and I don't really know that we needed to it's almost as if it was unsaid, but we both knew what the other was feeling. He was hurting and I couldn't give him the release he needed just yet.

He understood that and he wouldn't ask it of me. He turned away from me and looked back out the door. I ran out the front door to my friend's car.

I climbed in and Liz looked at me funny, "What are you doing here? I thought you and Godric were long over. Not that I blame you I mean he is super hot."

I sighed, "Liz…just drive."

"What? I'm just saying." She shrugged.

"He's not hot he's Godric." I thought about that statement a minute then realized yeah ok, he is hot technically he is super, mega, ultra hot. I need to stop even classifying him I don't care what he is. Godric is out of my life and out of my mind.

"Will you drop me of at Jared's?" I questioned.

"Sure." She was staring at me I could feel it.

"Vangie are you ok?"

"I'm fine. I'm just tired. It's been a really bad day." I wasn't lying it had been. She dropped me off and I ran up the steps to his apartment. I knocked and waited hearing the soft guitar playing stop as he walked to the door.

He opened the door and smiled looking down at me, "Hey baby, I've been trying to call you."

"Yeah my phones trashed." I answered walking past him.

He shut the door behind me and followed me to the couch. I curled up in a corner wrapping my arms around my knees. He smiled sitting beside me. His black hair falling in his eyes when he leaned on my knees to look at me, "You look sad."

I brushed his hair back to see is bright blue eyes stroking his cheek and smiled.

"I'm ok bad day. I quit my job."

"You should have, your boss was a jerk." He kissed my palm.

"Yeah well it paid my bills. I have no job now and my car broke down."

He looked surprised, "Seriously? Babe why didn't you call me? Where is it I'll send a tow-truck."

"No, it's ok. I'll figure out something I always do." I hated when he did things for me. We had been going out for a year and he knew how I insisted on being independent.

"Sweetheart there are times when it doesn't hurt to let people help. I have the money let me help you." He insisted lifting my chin. I looked away and he sighed. He knew never to ask me about my past it was a rule from the beginning and so he didn't. I know that he hated it though.

"Can you just be here for me?" I questioned looking at him. I just wanted to forget all the pain, all of the past like it never happened. I just want to forget.

He nodded, "Yes, baby you know I will."

I slid my legs down and grabbed his cheeks kissing him softly. He was hesitant and it wasn't surprising. We had taken things slow it had only been in the last month that we had moved things further than kissing. I couldn't get past memories to allow myself to. I finally let go enough to try and discovered it made me forget for a little while.

Jared was a sweet guy he treated me well and I had no complaints. He was in a band and it didn't bother me that all the girls threw themselves at him whenever they played. He had seen what it did to band members when they were with someone they loved and they messed around. They ended up screwed in the end. He didn't like drama so he tended to avoid that scene.

He was gorgeous I'll give him that. I have no idea what he saw in me but then again I never saw what Godric did either. Of course he couldn't compare to Godric but then no man could and I would never ask them to. He was in my past and it didn't matter. Why can't I get him out of my head?

Jared pulled back stroking my cheek, "You don't seem into this babydoll."

"I'm sorry. I am… I want this."

"Evangeline what's going on?" He knew me better than I wanted him to. I decided I better take things into my own hands or this will be a lengthy conversation I don't want to have. I shoved him back removing Godric's sweater and tossing it over the couch.

He is a male you know he can't focus when a half dressed female is in the room. He smiled.

"Aggressive?"

"I can be." I said back grabbing his shirt and pulling his mouth to mine.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Isabel looked around to find Godric leaning on the doorway to an empty room. She placed her hand on his shoulder.

"Why do you punish yourself?"

"I should have been here. I should have sensed something…known something there are many reasons." He said back.

"Yet none make a difference do they?" Isabel sighed. "Godric you must let this go."

"I can not."

"Does living in this pain change anything for either of you? She is moving on you should too." She hated to hurt him but she had to try to get him to actually function in some capacity other than the shell he had been these last three years.

"I am glad she is happy. It is what I wish for her." He said with an emotionless voice.

"You know she is not happy. You saw it in her eyes Godric!" Isabel raised her voice more than she meant to. She was tired of seeing her Sheriff in pain.

He turned to her, "I tore her apart Isabel what would you have me do? She was right she trusted me and allowed me into her heart and I failed her when she needed me most! The one person I love more than any other and I ….." He turned away and shook his head.

"She will forgive you in time."

"I don't deserve it." He argued.

"Yes, you do. It was never your blame to carry."

Isabel walked quietly out of the room leaving him alone. She walked past the others and when she came to Stan she kicked his shoe.

"You fool why did you bring her here!"

"Isabel, I thought for sure…it's been three years!" He said irritated.

"She is human with a human heart Stan. You do not understand the way they think the way they hurt. They do not just get over things the way we do. Her emotions are entirely different. Do you enjoy hurting you Sheriff because that is all that you have succeeded in doing!"

"He is too sentimental."

Isabel growled at him, "He loves her and you should be ashamed. I do not care if you feel nothing for anyone. Some of us do. You should respect that not to mention the fact he is the authority in this nest and shall remain so like it or not." She spat angrily.

Stan simply rolled his eyes.

"As long as it doesn't affect his ability to run his area." He said sarcastically.

Isabel looked up behind him.

"Nothing has or ever will affect my ability to run my area efficiently and effectively underling. Do you question my ability?" Godric asked his accent thick as he walked across the room taking his seat. The entire room became silent.

"No sheriff."

"Tell me Stan did you purposely bring Evangeline here tonight with the hopes of causing me distress?"

Stan stood angry, "I brought her here because I knew you cared for her. I thought she might still care for you that is the only reason. I do not like being questioned like I did something wrong."

Godric stood walking over to him. He placed his hand on his shoulder, "Relax my child no one is accusing you of anything it was a simple question. I apologize if you felt you were being attacked. It was not meant that way. Please sit."

Stan sat and Godric turned returning to his seat. Isabel sat beside him watching as the others began to talk again.

"You should not have apologized." She said softly.

"I do not want tension in my nest."

"He openly discredited your ability to run the area. I don't think it was appropriate. You had reason to speak."

Godric sighed, "It matter's not. I have always seen to what is mine without fail. It has never been affected by my personal loss you know this."

"Is it wrong to want to see you smile again?" She questioned taking his hand. He looked down and smiled.

"No Isabel, not wrong maybe unrealistic but not wrong. You should go be with your human and enjoy the night."

"Godric…"

"Go Isabel, I will be fine you worry too much."

She sighed, standing and kissing his forehead as she walked out. He watched the room full of his family not bothering to initiate conversation for a while and finally headed to his bedroom. He didn't feel like talking. He felt like being alone. He closed the door and walked over to the large chair by the window looking out as the rain continued to pour.

He wished it would come and wash him away or at least take away the pain his heart felt constantly. The emptiness he felt like a black hole that threatened to eat him from the inside out. Sometimes he wished it would. Time certainly wasn't making it any better. He laid his head back closing his eyes but memories assaulted him.

He could smell her scent, taste her on his lips. It was the worst kind of torture. He ran his hand through his hair aggravated and looked back out the window. Red tears stained his pale face but he didn't care. He just wanted to forget if only for a little while.