AN: This is some random drabble that popped into my head some time this week during my mid-morning math class. Plus, I wanted to see how I would fair with a comedy rather than a serious story. I probably won't be very good seeing as I'm not a comedic genius unlike Tyler Perry or Gabriel Iglesias so bear with me. In short, this is about what I would think if Fuery got a little more than he bargained for one day at work . . . . (yes I don't know how to spell his name).

____________________________________________________

"Finally, it's all done,"Fuery breathed as he put the last of the paper work in the cabinet drawer. He wiped his brow and adjusted his thickly-rimmed glasses before heading up through the halls. It was quiet, quiet enough so that he could here his own footsteps echo against the walls. Everyone had gone some time ago, but Fuery had the disadvantage of writing a report and was forced to remain. It was only with he being the only presence that he realized just how empty the military offices were.

He sighed and paused only to gaze out of the window. It was snowing outside, fiercely so. Thick stone of balled ice crashed against the window and streets, pelting unsuspecting passersby as if they were being punished for a misdeed. The young man with the spiked black hair whistled. I better hurry and get out of here before the storm becomes any worse!

With a new determination, he quickened his pace to a light trot. His destination was his shared office down the hall and to the left. All through the way, his mind had wandered to the big plans he had once he reached home. He would start with a well-deserved warm bath, followed by a bowl of his signature tomato-and-chicken soup. Then to top it all off, a nice mug of hot chocolate and his favorite book. His mouth unintentionally watered as he thought about the soup. The aroma of it wafted up to his nose as the broth came to a boil over the hot stove; the heated water vapor dabbed at his brow, a light dusting of sweat driving away the lingering cold; the savory juices glided effortlessly down his throat as he sucked it from the spoon -

WHAM!!!!

Fuery almost let loose a string of curses as his forehead connected with the flat of a door, but held his tongue. If there was one thing he was not known for it was for foul language and he didn't intend to stake a reputation now. A welt the size of his fist formed beneath the smooth of his palm and his glasses were no longer decorating the bridge of his nose. He groped around for the linked-together blocky squares, but gave startled moan when a wet tongue wiped at his nose.

"Sorry, Kain," Riza apologized as she beckoned Black Hyate to her side. "I didn't see you." She found his glasses and bent down as much as her swollen belly could allow - and being 9-months pregnant that wasn't far. Black Hyate offered his master a break as he dropped the glasses in her hand and thumped his tail as he was rewarded with a pat on the head.

"That's okay," Fuery assured. He graciously accepted his glasses and put them on. He was relieved to find that they weren't broken. "Why are you here, Riza?" he asked, removing the glasses to clean them. "I thought you would leave with Roy."

"Like you, I too had some work I needed to finish," Riza replied, stroking her swelled stomach. "Just because I'm in this state, doesn't mean I can't function like I normally could."

"Right." The young man shifted uncomfortably then offered a shaky smile. "You're close, aren't you? I mean to your . . . " he pointed at her unborn baby.

"Yes," Riza said. "Anytime now. Roy's nerves are fried. I've driven him through about five false alarms this week. He's become so used to them, that he's put himself on call at even the lightest movement." Her good humor died away when she noticed the purple and blue circle painted in the middle of her friend's forehead. "Allow me to make up for that." She pointed at the bump. "I have an icepack in my office."

Fuery gratefully accepted her offer and followed her into the office, the small, black and white dog hot on their heels. Riza closed the door behind the young man and motioned for him to have a seat at in one of the chairs placed variously around the room. Fuery recognized it as the break room where the employees would come have a cup of coffee before they started the day's long list of demands. He nodded as his friend handed him cubed ice bound in a plastic bag casing.

"Thanks," Fuery said. He winced as the intense cold seeped through the thin layer of the epidermis. Riza simply smiled and leaned against the counter near the still-burning coffee pot, black water bubbling inside the glass. Once or twice, they moved to strike up a conversation, but failed each time. Even though they had known each other for a while, their relationship couldn't precisely be labeled as close. A long silence reigned over the break room for the longest time, only broken every so often by the sound of the coffee boiling in the pot.

Feeling better, Fuery handed the half-melted ice-pack back to the blond woman. "Thank you. I appreciate your help, Riza."

She accepted the pack. "No problem, Kain. It was my fault to begin with so it was only right that I - ungh!" Her sentence was cut short by a stifled moan and a swift hand on her belly. Fuery cried out, startled, as she fell to her knees and inevitably sat on the floor.

"Riza! What is it? What's wrong?"

Sweat dotted her forehead and her breathing became ragged as the lieutenant struggled to squeeze out a reply. "The - The baby. I'm -" her eyes widened in intense pain and Fuery was powerless to stop himself from being gripped by the collar and pulled forward - "I'm having the baby!"

"What-what do you mean you're having the baby?!" Kain had wriggled himself from the woman's death grip and was now standing with his damp back pressed against the door. "You can't be having it now?!"

"Well tell that to him! He's coming!" Riza screeched in reply. Black Hyate padded his way to his master's side in an effort to somehow easy her pain. This became a grave mistake as the pooch was abruptly thrown back by the enthralls of a contraction. Black Hyate yipped in shock and hid behind Fuery's heels, curled tail tucked tightly between thin legs.

By this time, the lower-ranking officer was freaking out so much that he could have peed on himself. He was trained to deal with a lot of things - violent murderers, crazed thieves, even the occasional rapist. But never-ever, ever-for-never-ever, in the history of his entire military career did it say in his enlistment papers that the delivery of a child was remotely possible! The door rattled on its hinges from channeling the intense quivering of the poor, unfortunate boy.

"Okay," Riza said gruffly. Her voice was gravely and hard, as if she was dealing with intense pain - (well duh!) - and her collected military personality took effect. "Kain, I want you to - ungh! - pick up the phone - oh! - and ask for the hospital!" She screamed then and the other had not moved a muscle. Partially due to the fact that he was devoid of any courage - but mostly because he didn't wnat half of his face ripped off if he dared take a step towards her. "FUERY!!!! NOW!!!!!"

"Uh - yes ma'am!" With as much speed that would rival a panther, Fuery leaped over a chair and nearly impaled himself on the edge of the counter. Lithe fingers scrambled for the familiar curve of a telephone, but the receiver fumbled and collapsed to the carpeted floor with a muffled clatter. "I dropped it!"

"Well, pick it up!" A crimson pool puddled underneath her, seeping through the smock of the free-flowing dress she was wearing. The boy swallowed a hammering heart back into the refines of its cage of ribs. Bending down, the receiver found its way back into the comfort of a moist palm and raised gradually to a small, curved ear. The dial tone rang in steady beats . . . once . . . . twice . . . . three times and many more times after that. No voice came on the other end, which was weird because it was an manually operated system. When a voice answered on the other line, Fuery was about to leap for joy. But his zeal morphed into disbelief as the voice's words painfully sank in. . . .

"I'm sorry, your call cannot be completed as everyone is off for toady. Please try your call again at another time. Thank you."

The phone clattered to the floor, bouncing twice before coming to a final rest a few inches from the boy's boot. Oh. My. Gosh.

"What happened?!" Riza barked. Tears were threatening to spill from her eyes as the fetus dropped further, cracking the pelvis as if it were crisp ice.

"No one was on the other line!" A cold chill snaked down his spine when a desperate and irritated glare was aimed his way. "But don't worry! I have an idea!" Like a rabbit escaping a coyote, Fuery hopped lively over to the window. Unfastening the locks, it was roughly pushed open and a blanket of snow plowed into the room. Rising up from the powdery fluff, Fuery stuck his head out of the window and cupped his hands to his lips. "HELP!!!! HELP!!!"

"It's no use screaming in a storm like this!" Riza yelled. "No one can hear you!" Another contraction pulsed. "Help! Help! Help!"

"Okay, okay, okay." Fuery ran an agitated hand through his short, spiked hair. He needed to calm down. Unfortunately, that wasn't possible. "What do I do? What do I do? What do I do?"

"STOP FREAKING OUT!!!" Riza's voice was shrill, almost like the call of some wild bird. She stared his straight in the eye, trying to convey the seriousness of the situation with just that glance. "No one's coming anytime soon. And this baby wants to be born now. What I need you to do, is to go down there and help me deliver him." She pointed to the blood, which had grown in diameter. Fuery blanched. He felt like he was going to puke.

"I can't do that! I don't know you like that!"

"Quit making excuses! Because I can feel his head!"

"Oh man!" A hand was the only thing that kept a half-digested lunch from spilling out all over the floor. Fuery dry heaved and held his stomach. The scent of blood was strong and it threw his guts for a loop. There was always a reason he only did investigation and desk work and a myriad added on in this moment. Another scream punctured his train of thought and he looked back towards the woman. Riza was a loyal officer and a good friend, always willing to lend a helping hand. Now she was the one who needed the help. Steeling himself, Fuery inched his way into the river of blood and kneeled down.

"Go!" Fuery ordered. The same puke slid back up his throat as bodily fluid and blood splashed against his fingertips . . . .

__________________________________________________________________

Hours later Roy smiled and kissed his wife as she cradled the newborn in her arms. He had arrived not too long ago as he noticed Riza's prolonged absence and decided to find the cause. That's when he walked in on the scene: an exhausted Riza wrapping the babe in loose rags, Black Hyate crowded at the far end of the room - and Fuery, passed out, on the floor.

"I would give you a promotion, Kain," Roy said as he addressed the lower-ranking officer, "but I don't think they reward for delivering a child."

Fuery waved his hand leisurely, still traumatized. "Don't worry about it. I was glad to help."

"Even though you screamed more than me," Riza added with a dry chuckle, "I appreciate what you did." The baby cooed softly, nuzzling his mother's chest.

"You're welcome." Then he snapped. "But why in the world did you have to have the baby?! And in front of me, too! Oh, that was nasty, Roy!"

A round of laughs ensued. Just another day at the office.

___________________________________________________________

AN: Cruddy, I know. Once again, I am well aware that I am NOT a comedic genius so no flames.