Author: Zierra

Disclaimer: I wish……

Story: Just something my weird mind came up with. Just for the record:

this is how I see the characters, so don't kill me….

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I wrote this one day when I had nothing to do… I found myself wondering what was hiding behind Squalls forehead, and it just came to me. I'm sorry if it sucks, but it's not Stephen King style…………… yet…… =o)

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CONFESSION OF THE LION

We hear about it every day, destiny, that we can make our own and all that bullshit.

Well, if I could've made my own destiny, I would have excluded "this".

Another thing I often hear about is that opposites attract, and that's damn right!

I'm not a very verbal guy, only speak when absolutely necessary, rather calm and collected, you know, Commander-style.

He on the other hand is not anything of the above. He certainly is my opposite. You can count the minutes he's quiet on one hand, and the expression "wild n' crazy" must have been made by someone who knows him.

And I love it, oh yes I do….. Every second I'm around him I feel….….. Weird. Not uncomfortable-weird but… ah, I might as well admit it…… horny-weird.

This is what I meant with "this": He! I'm gay.

Not big deal you think, but it is if you're me. Squall Leonheart, at your service.

I know exactly when it happened. When I realized I felt something else than friendship against him. We were gonna fight, for training, with each other and everything sort of died, you know, like a machine does when you pull out a plug, when he was warming up. "Gracious" and "beautiful" was the words that hammered at my head, whilst the words "gorgeous" and "irresistible" disabled my entire body. I just stood and stared.

Hyne! I've seen the guy fight before, but only in the heat of battle, and then it's not really the time to have sexual fantasies about a team-mate, even if the adrenaline is pumping through your body. There's just no time.

Well. Apparently I had time then, lots of time, in my frozen state. He asked me if anything was wrong, why I wasn't trying to attack him. I looked down at my Gunblade, and didn't know what it was used for. A bottle opener?

That was the worst time, and I've tried to deal with this crazy sensation in my mind when it just goes ballistic on me. But it's hard, so I try to stay away from him, at the same time as I want to be near him, even if it's just to look. And they say it's no harm in looking….. My ass….

"This" also scares me. What!?, you think. Yes, it's true, because it makes me weak. Can't stand to see him get hurt. If it's an attack from a T-rexuar or a mere foot injury, I just do all in my power to take the pain away, without thinking of my own security. I think he's gonna be my death, sooner or later, if I don't do something about "this".

I noticed I don't call him by his name. Maybe it's easier to confess then, but I'm not confessing to anything if I don't say his name, but I'm gonna do that now. Here it goes: Zell Dincht. Just his name is an aphrodisiac. Geez, I'm pathetic.

I've tried to find out what he feels, you know, if he…..likes me. But I can't seem to ask the right questions. I don't want to hint to much, if it should scare him off, but whatever I ask, he makes me more confused. Zell has that affect on me, he confuses me….a lot!!!!!!!

But the worst part, the absolutely WORST part, is that he makes me act like a lovesick, 15-year-old schoolgirl. Don't worry, I don't twirl my hair and giggle when he's around, and I most certainly don't blush. But he makes me feel……..giddy.

Now to something completely different. This civilian girl asked me to associate all of my so called friends to animals. Gladly do that!

Zell: Well, he's a tiger, and I think an explanations is unnecessary…..

Seifer: Hmm, a rat, maybe. Yes, a rat. A big, ugly vermin you can't get rid of no matter

how hard you try. Believe me, I've tried, but he doesn't bite the bate….

Irvine: Heh, the only thing coming to mind, is a small, ruffled pony.

Selphie: A tough one. A monkey, I think. Saw one on TV a few days ago. It jumped on

two legs, instead of running. It reminded me of her.

Xu: A turtle? No, more like a polar bear. Yeah, yeah, I know. You probably think I'm

more suitable for that, but I was thinking that she's always so cool, and never lose

her temper over trivial things.

Rinoa: A mad cow? Yes! Mad, because she thinks we can get together. Whatever. And

also because she once called me a oyster. What?!

Looking back at my confession, and I see all the shit I told you, I come only to one conclusion:

I need, therapy. BAD!

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# Okay, I think I need to explain myself once again. This is how I see Squalls mind. It

doesn't mean it's anything like the real one. It's just my sick mind, it comes up with

crap like this once or twice a day. Unfortunately, this kinda good idea, was corrupted

because my (two) brain cells, decided to ignore each other.

# Anyway. I'd like to apologize to Rinoa and Seifer fans. If you took the "animal-

association" game serious, you need to reconsider. It's just happens to be that I don't

like Rinoa all that much. As for Seifer, I have NOTHING against him. On the contrary,

he's a great character to use when I write my YAOI fics (not posted yet), but since I

like that Squall and Seifer have "issues" with each other, I decided that he could get

some (harmless) bashing. I won't be cruel to him, in his confession. Can't say the

same about Rinoa, though. Btw, her statement about calling Squall an oyster, will be

explained in her confession.

# If you like it, good. Feel free to tell me that, and also if you have suggestions about

other confessions. I need inspiration! Badly!!!

#All the future confessions will have the animals Squall chose as a title, if you're

wondering.

They are not negotiable!

# Since it's easy to check, I might as well tell you. Yes, this is my first POSTED fic, but

not my first to write, so don't give that "beginner" shit. I've won money for some of

my fics. They may be posted here, if I can re-write them to suit Final Fantasy.

Later! // Zierra