Disclaimer: Not mine, no profit made.

A/N: Well, this marks the end of this particular arc. Coming up soon(ish), will be the continuation through the first couple of seasons. Because, as bad as this sounds, I have plans for when Speed dies. There are a couple of storylines that spring from that instance. We'll see if you're all still around by the time we get to that. The next arc will be DLG 2: Of Princesses and Criminalists.

The reason it'll only be soon-ish, is that I've discovered a new obsession. Numb3rs. And kid-versions of Don and Charlie are running around in my head, making stories, so there may be a series of one-shots with the two of them as kids going up as well. That, or they make an appearance as adults in EP. One of the two. And I still have to write up Ryan and Nevyn's story… but I think that will wait until the next sequel to Double Trouble is finished.

Oh, and replace Eric and his father in the story he tells with my step-sister and her father, and you have a true story.

Chapter Thirteen: In which Eric tells a story, and Speed's betting pool is discovered.

Warnings: References to slash, 'measurements' and a couple of swearwords.

-DLG-

"Speed, Calleigh," Horatio started as he stepped into the layout room, only to be cut off as Avari launched herself at him.

"Catch me, H!" She shouted as she jumped off the table. Unfortunately Horatio was a little too far away to catch her – but his companion wasn't.

"Woah there, little girl," the tall, Hispanic-looking man smiled as he caught her. "Y'know, that's how my dad broke his ankle when I was six."

"From jumping off a table?" Avari asked. The man shook his head.

"Nah. He was standing on a rocky embankment, and I was at the top. I yelled 'catch me' and jumped. He caught me, but got his foot caught between some rocks in the process." The other adults winced in sympathy. "I received a swift lesson in Russian swearing after that. It was a very educational day."

-DLG-

"So," Horatio stood in the doorway whilst Speed helped Avari wash her hair. "What did you think of Eric?"

"I like him!" Avari smiled. "He's funny. And tells neat stories."

"Good," Horatio nodded. "And you, Speed?"

Speed shrugged. The guy had saved Avari from a cracked skull, which was an automatic plus in his view.

"You do know he was making eyes at Calleigh, right?" He commented. Horatio sighed.

"Yes, I did notice that. But I think she's smart enough to not get tangled up with him."

"Of course," Speed rolled his eyes. "She's your girl, after all." Horatio paused. They'd had this… not exactly an argument, but this discussion before. He kept quiet as Speed lifted Avari out of the tub and wrapped her in a towel. "Go put your PJs on, Princess. I'll be in soon."

"Okay Dad," Avari moved away, oblivious to the tension between the two men.

Speed stood, his back still to Horatio. The older man stepped forward and wrapped his arms gently around his lover.

"Hey, don't be like that. There's nothing going on between me and Calleigh, you know that. I love you."

"Yeah," Speed sighed, then turned in Horatio's arms to reveal his smirk. "I just like messing with you."

"You… arr…" Horatio growled in exasperation as Speed slipped out of his grasp and went to put Avari to bed. Sometimes it was very difficult living with Speed – but the good times more than made up for the rest.

-DLG-

Speed was in the layout room, sorting through pieces of clothing, when Eric entered.

"Hey… Speed, right?"

"That would be me," he continued in his task. Sure he liked the guy – but that didn't mean that he'd make it easy on him.

"Right. Uh… I'm still trying to get my head around the hierarchy here. H is in charge, but you've been here the longest?"

Speed glanced at the other young man. He seemed to be fishing for information, though he wasn't entirely sure to what end.

"Yeah, I've been here for about six and a half years. H was in the bomb squad at the time, moved to CSI a few months after I got here."

"And Calleigh?" Ah. That was it. Speed stifled a smirk.

"She transferred here a month or so after that."

"Right. And, uh… are she and Horatio… y'know?"

This time, Speed did smirk. Horatio and Calleigh might have been oblivious, but the sexual tension between them was obvious to everyone else.

"Follow me." Speed left the evidence and led Eric to the Trace Lab, his domain. He pulled out a ledger from one of the drawers. "Place your bet."

Eric flipped through, and saw that the entire crime lab had a betting pool going on when Horatio and Calleigh were going to sleep together – or if they already had. He chuckled, then paused near the end.

"Uh, Speed? Did you know that they've placed their own bets in this?"

"What?" Speed grabbed the ledger and read the familiar handwriting.

Calleigh: H finds out about the bets and does Speed in protest.

Horatio: H finds out about the best and fires the lot of you.

"Oh… shit." Speed swore, though he had a smile on his face. He looked up at Eric, who was looking back at him thoughtfully.

"What she wrote," Eric started slowly, "that bit about H 'doing' you in protest… are you and him…"

"Together?" Speed raised an eyebrow. "Yeah. We've been together for a bit over a year. He moved in with Avari and I about four months ago. You got a problem with that?"

Eric continued to look thoughtfully at him for a moment, then shrugged and grinned again.

"Hey, as long as neither of you are coming on to me, it's none of my business."

"Atta boy," Speed muttered as he replaced the ledger. "Now let's get back to work before H makes good on his threat."

-DLG-

Horatio sighed and covered his face with his hands.

"So," his voice came slightly muffled, "naturally you decided to flirt outrageously with him at any opportunity."

"Naturally," Speed shrugged and continued eating.

"And what if he decides to press harassment charges?"

"Then we know he won't fit in at the lab," Speed explained as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Of course." Horatio sighed again, and removed his hands from his face. Speed was being exasperating again.

"Besides," the young man pointed out, "Calleigh still has to take his measurements. He needs to learn that the lab is a very free-minded place."

"Tell me," Horatio smiled, "did she every actually get your measurements?"

"Yeah," Speed grinned back. "She kept badgering me, so eventually I grabbed the tape measure off her and went to the men's room. Came back and gave her the figures, which she seemed delighted with."

"Well they certainly make me happy," Horatio murmured, earning a smirk.

"What are you talking about?" Avari asked, and the men froze, both with 'oh shit' looks on their faces.

"Uh… arm measurements," Speed quickly responded. "Calleigh has a list of everyone's arm measurements."

"Oh," Avari seemed to accept that. "Why would that make Horatio happy?"

"Because… it means that I know how much stuff Speed can carry at once."

The men looked hopefully at the little girl as she pondered this.

"You guys are weird," she eventually pronounced. Horatio let out a breath in relief, as Speed smirked and nodded.

"Yes, Princess. Yes we are."