Melee Academy of Higher Learning for Boys

Year Four – The Final Year

-Seven-

It was that time of year again, the year when many a high school student would discover all the wonderful benefits of chugging cup after cup of coffee during all those long, arduous study sessions. Many had already needed new laptops due to coffee spills and strange stains that looked like half-and-half mixed with some sort of sugar substitute, but no one was certain.

Well, the ones who decided to put forth that much effort into it, which wasn't really a lot of students. Most spilled coffee on their laptops due to carelessness, procrastination on essays, or doing spit takes when one of their friends would send them some crazy Japanese pornographic anime. But if no one told you this, you would think they were all the studious type since this was a prestigious academy and Tabuu had high expectations. The teachers and parents, however, knew better. This caused students like Link, who were smart but refused to put forth much effort, much grief when it came to exam review sheets in the beginning of January.

The gym locker room was rather noisy, as it always was. Clothes lined the benches ranging from sweatpants and matching sweatshirts to shorts that looked more like underwear (and probably were). Blazers were draped over the locker doors and ties were used to hold various things together, or to make sure their IDs weren't lost amidst their clothes and other personal belongings. Some didn't even have ties, feeling that without them, they were being 'rebellious'. The students at Melee Academy were not known for their 'rebellious' streak, mostly because a lot of them didn't really know how to be rebellious in the first place.

A lot of the students, upon receiving the review packet for their PE class, either threw them in the garbage or they shoved them deep into the recesses of their bookbags, never to be seen again for about a year or so, when they would be cleaning their bookbag of old mementos from high school; or they simply left them in the lockers, never to be seen again by them, leaving the teachers a mess to clean up when the time came. The teachers wouldn't see them again, either, for they would just get the janitor to clean them. Roy took his and placed it in his bag for examination later. Now was not the time to focus on studying when he had other school related things on his mind, like where his second period homework went. Link, on the other hand, acted like the paper was going to kill what was left of his family.

"What the heck did we learn in PE for the review packet to be like, fifty pages thick?" Link asked as Roy removed his things from his gym locker.

"I mean, we mostly did volleyball, and it's all about playing it," Link continued. "They practically gave us the entire rule book as written in Volleyball for Dummies." He pointed to the fine print, which actually cited Volleyball for Dummies as its source.

"What a bunch of lazy bastards," Link finished when Roy didn't say anything.

"Fourth Years, make sure to remove everything from your lockers and place the lock on the locker with the door open," the substitute for Falcon said as she fixed her sweats, which were a little on the tight side. And by 'a little on the tight side', the pants were practically a second skin. Most of the boys, being completely unobservant since this was, after all, Melee Academy, didn't notice at all.

"Whose idea was it to have a female teacher in the boys' locker room?" Roy asked, shouldering his backpack, his thoughts still elsewhere.

Link gave Roy a look. "Roy, this is Melee Academy we're talking about. Has anything ever made sense here? Like these review packets, for example…"

Roy sighed as Link launched into another diatribe about the injustices of giving a novel for an exam review as the bell rang.

"So what do we do next semester?" Link asked as they gradually made their way into the hall, hoping they didn't do anything.

Roy shrugged. "I think we have Health." He shouldered the door to the stairwell open and shoved his way through the crowd, Link behind him.

"But we've had Health for the past three years! …Except when we had Driver's Ed and Sex Ed, but I guess Sex Ed would technically count… But we didn't even learn anything in Sex Ed since Falcon was surprisingly uncomfortable talking about it."

"It's Mental Health," Roy said, watching the freshman with the obnoxiously big bookbag in front of him one-step all four flights of stairs to the third floor new building. "It's got mental disorders and all that stuff. Should be interesting." He looked to Link then.

"I heard we watch a lot of movies," Roy added in a sing-song.

Link didn't know what to say to that, except, "Wow, do the teachers in this school really suck that much that they can't even teach us anymore? They rely on movies to do that for them?"

Roy shrugged. "They're not even educational movies. I overheard Jup saying that one of the classes watched Anger Management."

"The movie with Adam Sandler?"

Roy nodded as Link rolled his eyes, and Roy sighed loudly at the slow walking freshman.

This was going to be a long walk to their next class.

"Wait, why am I even complaining about this?"

"Because you overreact to just about everything and anything," Roy said. "I mean, it's just a review packet."

"No, not the review packet," Link huffed, "I got over that minutes ago! I was talking about the movies thing. I shouldn't be complaining about it because then we don't do work. And not doing work is a good thing."

One of the students behind them threw up his arms, ran in front of the annoyingly slow freshman, and punched him in the face. The poor, defenseless freshman had nowhere to go except, of course, down the stairs. Roy and Link side-stepped him with ease and continued onto their destination at a normal pace that would get them there in the remaining two minutes left before the late bell rang.

No one bothered to ask the freshman boy if he was all right, if he needed help getting up, or if he was bleeding profusely. They ignored his pleas for help, his pulling on their pant legs, and basically pretended he never existed.

"This school fucking sucks," said the boy whose knees were now skinned and whose books were now all over the back stairway. He tried not to cry, but, well, if you were hurt and subsequently ignored by your peers after falling backwards down a flight of stairs, you would be pissed off and hurt enough to cry too. The bell rang and he sat there, figuring that his teachers wouldn't know he was missing, either.

Unfortunately for him, Mewtwo noticed everything, and marked an Andre Ramirez out. He was all out of cut slips, so that was at least one good thing going for him.

-x-

As was typical at the beginning of January, students were hard at work in their classrooms, whether it was making it to the next level in a game, trying to win a round of Finger Football, or actually doing work. For whatever reason, Bowser had the windows of the classroom open, though there was a coating of snow on the ground. No one complained about it being freezing in the room, because they knew better than to question Bowser's judgment. So they just sat there shivering and Bowser couldn't care less. There was even a layer of ice along the open windows; Bowser took no notice of this and several students wrote obscene things in the snow lining the window sill.

"So did you hear about Zelda and Ganondorf?" Link asked cheerfully, as if the thought of their marriage burning to the ground was something to be happy about. For Link and just about everyone else in The Manse this was something to be happy about, anyway. Their constant bickering was getting on everyone's nerves except for Marth's and Roy's, and that was only because Marth and Roy didn't spend a lot of time with either Ganondorf or Zelda, so they weren't exposed as much.

Roy was in the middle of looking up the definitions for chapter one for both of their Environmental Issues exam reviews when Link asked the fateful question.

"What, that they're getting divorced? That's been going on since they both said—since before they said, 'I do'."

Link leaned back in his seat. "Well yeah, but the fact that it's going to be final by the end of the month…" He sighed in contentment.

"So what? You still can't have Zelda—you're with Ike and she's interested in your younger self."

Link examined his boyfriend's school ring that was now practically glued to his finger.

"Well since Young Link's with her, that's like me being with her. As you said, he's my younger self."

Roy rolled his eyes and flipped through the textbook in search of answers.

"What the hell? These questions don't have answers in the book!" cried the only other student doing work.

Bowser didn't care. He was evil after all. Evil people did not care about the well-being of others or whether the answers were actually there at all.

"You know, it wouldn't kill you to actually do something in this class aside from sit there and look pretty."

Link stared at the wall, hands behind his head. "Roy, we're both Fourth Years. We have six more months to go until we're out of here. Besides, that packet's four pages. You can do 'em easily."

Roy slammed the book closed and placed Link's packet on his desk.

"So can you. I have college to consider, I can't be worried about your crap too."

Link looked at his exam review like it was a vat of acid on his desk. Link had been allergic to school work since Freshman year, and allergies didn't just disappear.

"Is married life really that life altering? 'Cause you've changed so much."

"Link, I hate to tell you this, but me getting married has nothing to do with me preparing for college and wanting to do good. But I will remind you that getting married is also a life-changing experience and I hope you experience it one day."

Link's voice dropped to a whisper when he said, "Has Marth not been putting out and you're just using college as a convenient excuse?"

Roy looked very affronted by that question. Then he struck.

"It was just a question! You didn't need to hit me with the textbook!"

Roy glared and went back to his own work, writing down diagrams for question eight.

"Okay, so maybe I did deserve it. But what's the matter? You and Marth were so happy at the wedding… …Is he putting out too much?"

Link covered his head once more to protect himself from Roy's textbook.

"You know, this whole 'not communicating' thing is really not healthy." He took a sidelong glance at his companion, head on the desk and arms still covering his head.

"Link, there's nothing wrong with our sex life. Or our married life, for that matter. I'm just stressed from preparing for the stupid SATs, college applications, and our public lives."

Link recovered and doodled on his review. "Oh. Your kingdoms or whatever?"

"Yes."

"Then why the heck didn't you just say that?"

"Because you're not married to royalty, so I didn't think you'd understand."

Roy was right—Link didn't understand. But that didn't mean Roy couldn't have explained it to him, even if it was a basic rundown.

"I've dated royalty before. I think it's like the same thing," Link reminded him. He took Roy's textbook and opened it to chapter two's vocabulary. Roy looked at him.

"You know damn well that I never bring my book, so I need to borrow yours."

Roy just rolled his eyes and sighed. "I suppose Kokiri Forest didn't teach you about asking for permission to borrow things?"

"Nope, everything was shared by everyone on principle."

Is Kokiri Forest this uncivilized place in the middle of nowhere or something?

-x-

Considering it was sixth period lunch, the last lunch period of the day, the cafeteria was quite crowded. It wasn't snowing outside anymore, and most of the snow was gone, melted from the sun that decided now was as good a chance as ever to shine through the clouds. It was, however, quite cold out even with the sun, and for whatever reason, no one listened to the meteorologists when they said, "It will be freezing cold, around twenty five degrees or so, so please bring a heavy coat with you." For some reason, a lot of them distrusted the meteorologists, even though the ones in Nintendo were all clairvoyants and knew for a fact what the weather would be like.

As a result of everyone and their anthromorphic dog being inside for lunch, it was extremely loud. People crowded almost every table; some were even standing next to tables for lack of any place to sit. One small corner of the room had a small food fight going on that very little people seemed to notice. Granted, it was small, but the call to arms from the leader of the enemy squadron went unheard, despite his blowing a large ram's horn to incite some sort of response from his compatriots. Maybe it was because the other guy's team managed to cut off reinforcements and supplies, such as more food and definitely more manpower. Such was the way war often worked.

"I am thoroughly convinced that the lunch lady hates me," Link said as he grabbed a Styrofoam lunch tray from the pile by the entrance to the kitchens.

"What makes you say that?" Roy asked, also taking a tray and a Clinton's iced tea.

"Watch." Link picked up a fork as the line sped forward. It was Pasta Day, one of the slower special days, so the line moved pretty quickly since the other line had hot dogs and other junk. The serving lady took one look at Link and scraped some ravioli onto his tray, half-burnt and dry looking, served with a smile that suggested ulterior motives. Link grimaced as he continued down the line.

Roy, meanwhile, was given normal pasta like everyone else, served with a smile that had no malevolent intent whatsoever. Link poked at his portion and tasted it, wincing after he chewed it.

"It's not even hot!" He tasted part of Roy's before he could protest. "But yours certainly is."

Roy shrugged and went around Link to pay at the register; Link was holding up the works as he searched for an ice cold Dr. Pepper right by the cookies and the sign that said, "Help fight obesity in our schools!" As if having a sign right next to the cookies would deter someone from buying five of them as their lunch in the fight against obesity.

"Eat up, porky," one kid said to Young Link, dropping cookies and pasta onto his plate on top of the two hot dogs and chicken salad already there. He laughed with his Crabbe and Goyle-esque friends as they walked away. Young Link grabbed a boomerang-shaped banana from Ness's plate and hurled it at them, hitting all three of them in the head before it returned. The entire cafeteria went quiet.

"I hope you choke on your three hotdogs each," Young Link retorted as the three goons walked to their table in the corner. Ness zapped them in the rear with his PK Thunder, Lucas set their coleslaw on fire, Popo filled their drinks with lots of ice to water them down, and their friend Alex cowered behind them the entire time.

Revenge was sweeter than the sweet tea Nintendo Land was known for.

"Those were Terry's old brood, weren't they?" Link asked as the cafeteria erupted into applause.

"The people who looked like people from Harry Potter?"

"Yeah."

"Oh, yeah, those three were Philippe, Antoine, and Sorbet. They're triplets."

Link nodded in understanding as they flashed their lunch passes and left the cafeteria. They walked for a bit as Link mulled over the names, trying to figure out what their rank in Terry's fan club to Marth was when he realized something.

Coming to a halt not far from the stairwell door, Link asked, "Wait, what kind of name is 'Sorbet'? Isn't that like fruit ice cream?"

"Yeah, it is. I guess their parents ran out of French names, so they picked something that sounded French."

"In this case a dessert." Link's voice had a hint of amusement. After all, that was like naming your kid 'Chocolate Cake' or something. Then he remembered there was a kid in his third period whose name was Chokoreeto Keiki and wondered if his parents were sadistic or really, really loathed him.

Roy shrugged as they continued walking. "What kind of name is 'Link', anyway?"

Link mumbled as he kicked the door to the stairwell open, "A stupid one." It slammed shut behind them and scared the poor hall monitor sitting two feet away from it.

-x-

"So are the rumours true?" Dean asked as Mewtwo floated in. Once again, Mewtwo's classes were returned to him since the other Japanese teacher decided to teach another language instead, mostly because the Japanese programme was becoming unbearable and only Mewtwo, they decided, could control these children. Mewtwo was getting tired of being shuttled between positions, but nonetheless he complied with Tabuu's directions, ignoring the urge to tell Tabuu exactly where he could take this job position and shove it. He needed this job to pay for his spouse and young child after all, so he had to just grin and bear it.

"What rumours?" Kweenetra countered, not really caring about the gossip one way or another; she was just naturally nosy and curious.

"That we're getting a new head of discipline," said Alex Valdez, getting in on the conversation as he sat on his seat. He leaned in closer to his friends as if conspiring.

"Apparently Wesker got fired for experimenting on the kids, so they transferred him to a job at some school in Austria instead where that sort of thing is acceptable. The replacement is being introduced at an assembly tomorrow morning."

Mewtwo got his things together just as Roy and Link entered the room. They noticed there was a huge sign hanging at the back of the room saying LATIN CLASS FOREVER and a declaration of war at the bottom of it. Things like this no longer phased Mewtwo and so he simply ignored it. It was lavishly decorated anyway, so he could, if he so wanted to, pretend it was wallpaper of some sort.

"They never give up, do they?" Stephen asked as he fixed his pants.

"Didn't you go back to being a girl?" Alex asked, confused by the sudden change in Stephenie's appearance. For one thing, her hair was cropped off and she was, once again, wearing the boys' uniform instead of the girls' uniform Tabuu had to create.

Stephen took his usual seat, trademark pink DS in hand, and propped his feet up on the desk.

"Yeah, but I liked being a boy, so I went back. Besides, everyone kept calling me 'Stephen' anyway." He tapped at the screen a few times. "I might stay like this permanently, so get used to it."

Mewtwo whited out Stephen's name in the roll book and replaced it with Stephen Kennedy. He didn't even need to ask what he went by anymore, for he was a psychic Pokémon and, for once, thankful for his abilities.

Thank Ho-Oh I'm a telepath.

Mewtwo wrote an assignment on the board and sat at his desk, bored out of his mind. Everyone took out their textbooks (except Stephen, who was too cool for Japanese class apparently) and began their assignments.

"So does anyone know anything about this new head of discipline guy?" Dean asked. He liked to know all about the inner workings of the school, which made sense since he worked after school in the disciplinary office. Despite his job, they didn't tell him anything. Now he knew what it felt like to teach at the school.

Frankie was looking up a word in his kanji dictionary app on his iDS and showing Alex inappropriate words he found instead. Kweenetra half-assed her assignment.

"What's that, Dean?" Alex said, returning to his work when Mewtwo glared at them.

Dean rolled his eyes as he turned in his seat. No one ever heard him the first time, but that was because most people didn't give a damn about what he had to say.

"Do you know anything about this new head of discipline guy?"

"Ask Stephen, his dad works security here."

Stephen looked up when he heard his name mentioned. Despite the abrupt gender change, everyone adapted extremely fast to the situation. Then again, most of these people were the ones who called him 'Stephen' instead of 'Stephenie' anyway.

"Whaddya wanna know?"

"Everything," Dean said, overeager as always. Stephen rolled his eyes.

"Well, he's very, uh, professional."

Dean stared blankly at Stephen, who sighed. Did he have to explain everything to him?

"He looks very corporate, wears glasses, that sort of thing. He's kind of intimidating too, according to Nicholas. He looks more professional than Tabuu ever did, and he's as intimidating as Master Hand according to his mom. He's got this…air about him. I don't know. That's all I've heard."

"You mean you've never met the guy before?" Alex asked. "Even though your dad works security?"

"What, you think my dad being a campus cop grants me an automatic ticket in to the secrets of the school? Get out of here."

Dean's curiosity was still not sated, however.

"Oh, and I wouldn't want to ever end up in his office," Stephen added, finishing a level in his game. He said it rather nonchalantly as well.

This caught the attention of everyone except Mewtwo, who couldn't care less.

"Why not?" Dean asked.

"Well you don't really want to end up in the VP's office anyway," Alex said, "no matter who's in charge."

"But especially this one," Stephen said, voice ominous, "since he's a former bodyguard for various big politicians and the like. He was really good at it, according to Snake. I'd be careful around him if I were you."

Link managed to get his assignment done before the end of the period, a minute before Roy finished his in fact, which was probably a record—for Link, anyway. They packed up their things and, since they were right by the door, were the first ones to leave.

"I wonder who this guy is, then," Link said. "He sounds a little scary."

"I don't know, we'll just have to wait until tomorrow."

Link was wondering if Marth or Zelda might know more information. He was hoping for a lot since Tabuu didn't ever tell anyone anything important. Hell, no one even knew this guy's name, and wasn't that basic information for someone to know?

"Do you think Tabuu's up to something bad?" Link asked at last as they shoved their way through the hallways.

"To be honest, I don't even know anything about Tabuu except that he was a friend of Crazy Hand's and was apart of this organization somewhere in Europe. And that he looks up to Master Hand."

Link quirked an eyebrow at Roy's statement. "Where'd you learn all that from?"

Roy deadpanned. "Internet."

"Oh," Link said, as if suddenly understanding. "I see. Google has everything now a days, doesn't it?"

"Link, Google isn't the internet."

Link shrugged. "Close enough. One day it will be."

Link had a bad feeling about this new disciplinary as he and Roy made their way to Band class. Something was not right; he just didn't know exactly what. But it wasn't a good feeling, whatever it was.

"I think I know what I think about this guy," Link said as they rapidly approached room 326N.

"And what's that?" Roy opened the door and waited for Link to hurry up.

Link had a serious look on his face for once. It wasn't that Link wasn't a serious person, it was just that he chose not to be because he thought being serious all the time was boring.

"Something about this new guy strikes me as suspicious."

They shared a silence together that actually spoke volumes. Both of them understood.

This guy was bad news and they were going to find out just what Tabuu's motives were.