When I wrote & posted this story back in 2009, Seddie wasn't cannon yet - so keep that in mind as you read.

Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly.

"Freddie!"

"Freddie!"

"Freddie!"

Carly and Sam chanted as he did his first "legal" shot of Jack Daniels.

It was Fredward Benson's 21st birthday and he was celebrating with his two best friends in his tiny dorm room on the campus of Pacific Northwestern University. He and Carly were both juniors and lived at school. Sam was a full time quality control specialist at the local Cheesecake Warehouse (that means she gets to eat cheesecake all day and get paid for it) and was just there to visit and drink all the alcohol Freddie bought.

"Ready for number two?" Sam asked as she refilled the novelty shot glass she'd bought especially for this occasion. There was a picture of a stick figure on its hands and knees vomiting. The game of twenty one shots was also her idea.

"Number Two!" Freddie took the shot glass from her and clinked against the bottles of beer that Sam and Carly were drinking. He slammed down the shot and smirked at the picture. "No way am I puking tonight Sam", he told her smugly.

"Whatever Fred Nerd", Sam replied.

"Remember our deal – for every seven shots – I get a birthday wish." He pointed at both girls.

"You have our word, Freddie," Carly replied. "Now how about number 3?" She refilled his shot glass.

"I want to make a toast," Freddie held the glass up in front of him. "To iCarly, the best web show ever"

"To iCarly!" They cheered and then finished their drinks.

"Ok Freddie did three shots – so now we pick from the BRA!" Carly held out a gigantic size 44F bra. "Freddie, since it's your birthday you pick the first question." He reached her hand inside the oversized cup and removed a folded piece of paper. He opened it and read it aloud:

"The first question of the night is for Sam." He made a face as he read the question. Then he looked at Carly, "Is this for real?"

"Just read it!" Sam growled and tried to rip the paper away from him. Freddie shoved it down the front of his pants.

"Think that's gonna stop me?" Sam threatened as she pinned him to the floor. Freddie's eyebrow raised in anticipation.

"Grrr," Sam curled her hands into claws. "Just ask the question."

"Ok," Freddie reached back into his pants and pulled out the paper. "Sam, how many blow jobs have you given Spencer?"

"WHAT!" Sam roared. "Let me see that." She tore the paper out of his hand.

"Did you write this?" She looked at Carly.

"How many.. Sam…?" Carly smirked knowingly.

The blonde girl's jaw dropped as she stared at her friend.

"Are you shitting me?" Freddie exclaimed when he saw her expression. "You sucked Carly's brother's dick!"

"ONCE!" Sam yelled at both of them. "Just once – And how the fuck did you know about that?" she said to Carly.

"Oh I don't know," Carly bobbed her head side to side.

"Spencer," Freddie gasped again. "Oh my God, Sam!"

"Sooooo," Carly grinned wider. "Gimme the DEETS!"

"No." Sam shook her head.

"Can you at least tell me when this happened – because… Spencer?" Freddie covered his face and laughed.

Sam pursed her lips together and tossed her hair over her shoulder. "Socko's Wedding – and that's all I'm saying."

"But you weren't invited to Socko's wedding." Freddie crossed his arms over his chest.

"So?" Sam shrugged. "Free food AND open bar – like I was gonna miss that."

"You crashed Socko's wedding," Freddie snorted. "I need another shot"

"Number four coming right up." Carly handed Freddie his glass again. As he did his shot, Carly turned to Sam. "Ok Sam - your turn to pick from the BRA." Sam reached her hand inside and pulled out a piece of paper. "This one's from me to you Freddie." Sam danced in her seat. Before she could read her question, he interrupted.

"No, I'm NOT gay," Freddie answered with a hint of annoyance.

"Bi-sexual?" Sam suggested.

"NO."

"Bi-curious?"

"NO."

"Metro-sexual?"

"I like girls, Sam. Always have."

"Ppppbbbttttt," Sam stuck her tongue out at Freddie. "I thought you'd finally come out tonight."

Carly sipped her beer and giggled.

"You too?" Freddie looked her way.

"Oh, come on Freddie," Carly put her arm around him. "Sam and I love you and we'll still be your friends no matter what."

"That's right," Sam put her arm around him too. "We can all go out looking for guys together."

"Enough", Freddie swatted them away. "I know you find this hard to believe but I really am straight."

"We believe you Freddie," the girls said in unison before snickering to each other.

"Shot numero CINCO!" Sam jumped up and grabbed a large sombrero from the corner and tossed it in the middle of the floor. Carly pulled Freddie to his feet.

"What are we doing?" He looked at the two of them like they'd lost their minds.

"Just a little RANDOM DANCING!" Sam cued up the Freddie laptop and the Mexican Hat Dance played.

"Random Dancing," Freddie chucked to himself. They hadn't done that since high school.

The three of them danced in a circle around the sombrero. Then Carly picked it up and put it on Freddie's head. After the song was over they all collapsed in a fit of laughter.

"I'm ready for number six," Freddie announced. He wasn't even slurring yet.

"Number Six, for you sir," Carly curtsied as she handed him the glass. He removed the sombrero and tilted his head back, letting the whiskey flow down his throat.

Sam came over with the BRA and Carly picked a question. "This one's for Freddie," she smiled.

"Can't wait," he said sarcastically.

"You have to tell the truth," Carly looked him in the eye.

"Of course."

"Is Mandy your fag hag?"

"Mandy – the girl with the duck?" Sam's eyes bulged.

"Yep, THAT Mandy," Carly bit her lip. "She's a freshman and she follows Freddie around everywhere."

"No. She's not." Freddie replied. "Because I'm not gay," he added looking right at Sam.

"So why don't you go out with her?" Sam replied raising her eyebrows.

"Yeah, why not?" Carly asked.

"You mean – aside from the whole duck thing, and the fact that she's so annoying I can't even be in the same room with her."

"He does have some good points, Sam." Carly looked at her friend.

"I guess," Sam shrugged as she chugged the last of her beer. "Or maybe he's just..."

Freddie banged his shot glass against the top of Sam's beer. It made the carbonation begin to overflow out the top and Sam had to chug the contents to keep it from spilling everywhere. He winked at her as she glared evilly at him.

"Ok, Freddie, pick another question," Carly said holding the BRA in front of him.

"Ummm," he said as he unfolded the paper. "This one is for Carly." He glanced over the words quickly. "Have you ever kissed a girl?"

"Nope!" Carly giggled as she finished her beer as well.

"Are you sure?" Freddie leaned forward until their faces were inches apart.

"Yes, I'm sure." Carly poked his forehead with her index finger and pushed him back.

"Ok then," Freddie grinned. "I believe I am doing shot number seven, which means I get to make a wish."

"Are you going to wish yourself straight?" Sam said as she grabbed the bottle of Jack.

"Here it is. Shot number seven," Freddie slammed it down and licked his lips.

"Alright," Freddie rubbed his hands together. "I wish that both of you would strip down to your underwear and stay that way for the rest of the night."

There was a choking sound as Sam shot beer out of her nose. "WHAT!"

"Freddie, um that wasn't the kind of wishing we had in mind."

"My birthday. My wishes. Now ladies, take off those clothes." Freddie leaned back on his arms and prepared to watch.

Carly and Sam exchanged frantic glances.

"Freddie, the thing is…"

"I'm not wearing a bra," Sam blurted out.

"Sam!" Carly stared at her friend. "Why aren't you wearing a bra?"

"It's laundry day."

"I'm ok with no bra," Freddie shrugged.

"I can't believe I'm doing this." Carly pulled her shirt over her head and began unbuttoning her jeans.

Sam kicked off her shoes and threw her socks at Freddie's face. "You just wait until MY birthday!" she threatened.

Carly slid her jeans down her legs and stepped out of them. She tossed them on top of her shirt and stood there in a red bra and red and white thong.

Sam pulled her capris down revealing a pair of black boy short-style underwear. She turned around and took off her shirt, pulling her long hair forward over her shoulders to cover herself.

"You look like a mermaid," Carly told her.

"You look like a candy cane," Sam replied.

Freddie just sat there, flabbergasted that they'd actually done it. Carly Shay and Samantha Puckett were in their underwear less than five feet away from him. He wiped the sides of his mouth with his hands to make sure he wasn't drooling. He could feel his erection pressing against his jeans. This was the best birthday ever – and he still had two more wishes left.

If everything worked out the way he planned. Carly and Sam were going to find out how UN-GAY Freddie Benson really is.