Title: The Con

Author: desespoir

Pairing: Puck/Rachel

Notes: AU. Screw canon.

"Why am I here?"

Kurt rolled his eyes and examined his fingernails before his attention returned again to the football field in front of him. "Do you really need to ask?"

Rachel simply glared at him and stared at him expectantly.

"There's an entire field of young, robust, and attractive boys out there. Their uniforms are tight and besides, do you have anything better to do on a Friday night?" Before Rachel could answer, he interjected, "And watching West Side Story is not the correct answer here."

"I was going to say Phantom anyway," Rachel muttered under her breath. She crossed her arms around her chest and huffed. After about thirty minutes of alternating between squirming against the cold and hard bleachers and giving Kurt the stink eye, she glanced out on the field. She never could understand the American obsession with football. Life in Lima, Ohio seemed to be summed up by three things: football, boredom, and corn. She went to junior high in the middle of a corn field. Not many people could say the same. She tried her best to pay attention for another minute or two, ignoring Kurt's all-too-gleeful smile as he stared across the field, his eyes greedily drinking in every action. Whatever made him happy, she supposed.

She let out a sigh and reached into her bag, pulling out her French homework and pulled her pink sweatshirt tighter across her chest. There were only a few people that she would be willing to sit through such torture as a high school football game for and on the very top of that short list was Kurt Hummel.

He had been her best friend since before she could walk. And once they both overcame that obstacle, they had gotten into many more misadventures than she'd like to admit. When she was four, her dads had gotten her a box of dress-up clothes and shoes as a birthday present. They had attacked the treasure chest and spent hours preparing for their "grand debut" as Kurt had so excitedly called it. She would always remember the shock on everyone's face when she walked into the room, lipstick smeared all over her face, pearls hanging down to her knees, and her feet clunking in the all-too-big heels only to be followed by Kurt who was dressed very similarly to her only he had forgone the pearls and replaced it with a gigantic ruby ring on his right hand.

Rachel's face softened as her mind replayed these memories. She smiled goofily at Kurt, imagining him as he was so many years ago. She was ripped from her thoughts when Kurt snapped his fingers in front of her face.

"Did you hear what I said?"

She frowned at the hint of annoyance in his tone. "Attitude. And, no, I didn't."

"Why is Noah Puckerman staring at you?"

Rachel almost snorted out loud before she turned to the field and restrained a gasp. McKinley High had lost but that was not the surprise. Standing nearly 50-feet away was Noah Puckerman, all-around football stud and bully extraordinaire, staring daggers at her. Another one of the football players ran up behind him and nudged him in the arm and he finally tore his gaze away.

She shivered visibly before clearing her throat.

"That was bizarre and so incredibly juicy." Kurt raised an eyebrow, "Are you doing naughty things that you aren't telling me about?"

"No," Rachel said defensively, shaking her head adamantly, "There is no and there will never be anything naughty with that one."

"I wonder why he was staring."

"I'd rather not dwell too much upon this, Kurt. He was probably just staring off into the distance and I just happened to be in his line of sight." The explanation sounded weak to her own ears.

Kurt rolled his eyes and stood up, clapping his hands together, "Sounds like an investigation needs to be done. Perfect! I need a new project."

"This is not a project. I refuse to participate."

"Who said I needed your willing participation?"

"Kurt, I will stop letting you read my Glamour and Cosmo subscriptions."

He gasped, color flushing his cheeks in outrage, "That's a bit harsh, isn't it?" He put his hands on his hips before conceding, "Fine, I'll leave it alone."

"Good," Rachel said with a smile, "Now, I believe Christine and the Music of the Night await us."

-*-