*This story is rewritten and updated version of a story (original title: Where Are You Going) I posted almost seven years ago, when I was about 14 (and didn't know what I was doing), under the pen name HyperSocksBlarg. I've changed my pen name to reflect the difference, but the originals are still posted. Though I wouldn't recommend reading them.*

Chapter 1

Something's Missing

Life is fragile. There should be a sticker on it that says, "THIS SIDE UP," because it's always being turned upside down. Your life could be going great, then something unexpected happens and POW! You find yourself headfirst in a toilet, FLUSH!

Whether you realize it or not, the people you come into contact with on a daily basis make a difference in your life, no matter how insignificant they may seem. Sometimes you don't know how much someone means to you until they're gone.

It was an ordinary day of fourth grade. Mr. Simmons, the children's balding and sensitive teacher, stood at the front of the class, yakking away about something or other. Hardly anyone really paid attention to his "special" lectures, especially on a Friday morning. There was nothing he could do about it. Well, to be more precise, there was nothing he WOULD do about it. Mr. Simmons hated to punish his students, although most would agree that a punishment every once in a while was exactly what the children needed. If his class didn't want to listen, he could only pray that SOMEONE was paying attention. Yes, a normal day. At least it seemed that way…

Curly softly hummed to himself as he doodled on his desk with a red dry erase marker he had swiped from the teacher's desk. Or at least, that's what it would look like to any simple-minded mortal passing by. In actuality, Curly was drawing up his plans to take over the school again. He cackled evilly. First P.S. 118, then the City Zoo and then THE WORLD! Yes… by now everyone was staring at him, and he stopped laughing. Fools! Mock Thaddeus Curly Gamelthorpe, will they? They were all in for a rude awakening. When he ruled the school, he would keep all the tapioca and lemon pudding to himself! That would show them! And then, Cable Television would e his! Mwahahahahahaha…

"Geek." Rhonda muttered and then squealed in disgust as Curly blew her a kiss. How she was able to keep her status as a "cool kid" when this psycho liked her, she did not know. She shuddered as she remembered what had happened when, under Helga's influence, she had written that fake secret admirer letter to the little weirdo. He had figured out that she was the one who had written it, and kissed her on the lips, in front of EVERYONE. She shuddered again, not sure which was worse: the fact that Curly Gamelthorpe had kissed her, or that deep down she had LIKED it. No way. There was NO WAY she would ever, EVER like that little freak. She simply would not allow herself to.

"Hey, baby." Curly called out in a sing-song tone, "You look cold… Come over here, Curly'll warm you up."

"Eww!" Rhonda sank down in her seat and glanced over at the clock on the wall above the doorway. 9:47 A.M. Her life was officially over. Damn that Helga Pataki; this was all her fault.

Harold was bored and extremely hungry. Not to mention, he was STARVING! He'd only had a single bowl of cereal for breakfast that morning! Sooooooo hungry…

Sid was sitting at the desk beside Harold's. He hadn't had any sleep at all the night before, afraid that there was a vampire in the bathroom. He had sat up all night, that rubber dagger clutched in his trembling hands, huge bags forming under his bloodshot eyes as he waited for the undead, bloodsucking freak to finish using the john and come out. Eventually he had dozed off, but only in time to get about an hour's worth of sleep. Now he was falling asleep again, his head bobbing up and down in a comical way as he started to lose consciousness. Twice, he nearly fell out of his chair, but it wasn't enough to wake him.

"Sid!" Harold hissed, "Sid!!!"

Sid's eyes practically popped out of his head and he fell to the floor. "Ack, I'm awake!!! Back off, vampires, you'll never get MY blood!" he screamed and flailed his way back to his seat. "Woah, my head… where's the vampire?" he felt dizzy.

Stinky looked up, "Sid, I told ya, I ain't a vampire! I'm a psychic! Them's two enturly dif'rent concepts!"

Sid yawned and his head hit the desk with a loud thump.

" "Siiiiid!" Harold whined.

The exhausted boy lifted his head and looked over towards Harold, who suddenly had a twin. "What, Harold?" he asked irritably, looking not at Harold, but at the identical person beside him.

Harold noticed that Sid was looking past him and waved a hand in front of the disoriented boy's face. "Um, Sid? I'm right here."

Sid blinked, "Ow, my he-e-ead!" He cried out.

"Sid! You got anything to eat?" Harold ignored his friend's moans.

"No! Leave me alone!" Sid whined. He hid under his desk and fell asleep, curled up in a little ball on the floor, his thumb in his mouth. He whimpered a little.

Harold looked over at Stinky, a couple seats over. Stinky was now staring at a wall, blank as a washed chalkboard. "Stinky!"

It took a moment, but Stinky finally acknowledged the large, obnoxious boy. "Yeah, whaddya want, Harold? I'm meditatin' here! I almost had me a VISION, but you had to go and interrupt the dang thing!"

"You got anything to eat?" Harold asked. He did not bother to apologize.

"What? N-no!" Stinky stuttered. "I reckon I ain't got nothin' for ya! No lemon puddin' today! N-no siree, no lemon puddin' here!"

"I'M SOOOOOO HUNGRY!" Harold whined so loudly the entire class heard. He hardly noticed that nobody said "So what else is new?" or any other sarcastic remarks.

"Here, Harold." Arnold said, tossing his starving classmate a Mr. Nutty candy bar from his lunch bag.

"Thank, Arnold!" Harold said as he wolfed the entire thing down in one bite.

Arnold shrugged and looked back to the front of the classroom. There she was... Lila... he sighed. She was the prettiest, nicest girl in class--maybe in the entire school. And one of the only people still paying attention to Mr. Simmons.

Lila giggled, "Oh that's EVER so fascinating, Mr. Simmons!"

Arnold saw the teacher's face light up, "Why, thank you, Lila! How very "special" of you to say so!"

Arnold sighed again. If only Lila were talking to HIM instead of Mr. Simmons. Why didn't she like-him like-him? It didn't make sense. He was the nicest guy in school, wasn't he? Well, he tried to be. Why didn't Lila notice? Why couldn't she understand how much he like-liked her? Why couldn't she feel the same way? He and Lila were perfect for one another and she was the only one who didn't see it.

Suddenly, he cringed. Hmm... what was that for? When he figured out why, he realized he hadn't had a reason. No spit wads hit him in the head. No nothing. He turned around and saw an empty seat near the back of the classroom. Where was Helga?

Brainy sat at the very last desk in the back of the classroom. He liked that seat for a couple of reasons. First, it was the least noticeable. There was very little chance that anyone would see him back there. The teacher wouldn't call on him, the other kids wouldn't bother him. The second, and most important, reason he liked sitting there: It was the desk right behind Helga Pataki's.

This morning he was shaking. Something was wrong and he knew exactly what. Helga was gone. What bothered him most was that he had absolutely NO IDEA where she was. An impossibility, to say the least. He ALWAYS knew where Helga was. If she was on vacation or sick, if she had slept in, etc., he would know. He didn't know today. It terrified him. What if something had happened to Helga? Something horrible? He felt sick. He wanted to leave so he could go find Helga, but in order to do that he would have to ask Mr. Simmons to let him go to the nurse. Brainy didn't want to call attention to himself. People would ask questions and he wasn't prepared to provide answers.

He finally just punched himself in the face, and that was that. No one noticed. No one cared. No one ever did. And maybe that was a good thing.

Phoebe anxiously watched the door for some movement. Please, please, please... Let Helga be alright. Where was she? She hadn't been at the bus stop that morning, and she hadn't called Phoebe to tell her she was going to be late or that she was sick and needed her homework brought over that afternoon. Helga ALWAYS called when she wasn't going to be there.

Helga...come to school! She concentrated on this one thought, this mental mantra repeating over and over in her head as she watched the door. A sad, desperate attempt to communicate with her friend telepathically... if only such a thing was possible. After a while she was mouthing the words. Helga... Come to school... Helga... Come to school... Helga... She closed her eyes for a moment. This wasn't working. Helga couldn't hear her. It was foolish to think otherwise.

Not wanting to think the worst, Phoebe decided that Helga had only slept in that morning. Helga was fine, she told herself. She would go down to the Pataki residence after school and Helga would be there. All would be well.

"Phoebe?" She opened her eyes.

"Hello, Gerald." She greeted him softly.

Gerald slid his desk closer to hers. Looking Phoebe straight in the eyes, he asked her, "Are you okay?"

Phoebe sighed a long, shuddery sigh (much like what happens when one has been crying a long time). She looked down. Something about seeing Gerald so worried about her made her feel worse. "Not really," she responded and then explained the cause of her distress.

When she finished, Gerald gave her a sort of...pitying look. "Phoebes," he said carefully, not wanting to hurt her feelings, "It's only Helga. I don't understand why you're so worried, just because she didn't call you..."

"She always calls me! And why shouldn't I worry? She's my best friend!" The bell rang and everyone jumped out of their seats to go to lunch.

"Yeah," said Gerald, "I don't understand THAT either." But instead of continuing the conversation about Helga, he started a new one as they walked to the cafeteria. He didn't want to upset Phoebe any more than he probably had, despite his feelings about Helga. He would try to understand; he would do anything for Phoebe.

Lila exited the lunch line, holding her lunch tray carefully out in front of her. She looked around for an empty seat. Someone called her name and she saw Rhonda, Sheena, Nadine and Katrinka sitting at a table. Lila pretended not to notice them at first. She didn't feel like sitting with a bunch of giggling, gossipy girls today.

"Hey, LILA!" oops. She looked again. Was there no escape? Lila put on her sweetest smile and walked over.

"Oh, hello, Lila! Take my seat!" Sheena stood up, enthusiastically offering her place at the table.

"It's ever so nice of you to offer your seat, Sheena, but I'm perfectly alright..."

"Nonsense, Lila! You sit down! I'll be fine! Right here, on the floor!" the taller girl practically shoved Lila into the chair and sat cheerfully on the floor by her feet.

As soon as Lila was sitting down, the girls resumed their conversation. "Someone isn't here today!" Rhonda sang happily.

"Who?" Nadine wondered.

"HONESTLY, Nadine, how could you possibly NOT know? Where have you BEEN? You certainly couldn't have been HERE. Haven't you noticed how QUIET it has been today?"

"Not with you around." Lila muttered too quietly for anyone to notice.

"No?" Nadine replied, uncertainly, "Who isn't here today?"

"Helga, of course!"

"Oh." Nadine said.

"Is that all?" Lila asked, trying not to sound as annoyed as she was.

"Not at all." Rhonda gestured towards another table, where Arnold sat staring at his tater tots. "Arnold sure is distracted today..." she pointed out. "He hasn't talked to you all day, has he, Lila?"

"Now that you mention it, RHONDA," her voice turned harsh at the chatty girl's name, but returned to its normal sugarcoated sweetness once more, "I'm ever so sure he hasn't spoken to me once all morning." Lila was normally a patient person, but Rhonda was getting to her that day.

"Do you think it has anything to do with Helga?" Nadine asked.

"Mmmhmmm." Rhonda agreed as she popped one of Lila's tater tots into her mouth.

"Now, why-ever would it have anything to do with Helga?" Lila asked as she inconspicuously shifted her lunch tray so that it was out of Rhonda's range.

"Well, I don't know about YOU, ladies, but I've always had a feeling those two liked each other."

"Arnold likes Helga?" Sheena squeaked from her position on the floor. She and the other girls were more surprised that Arnold would like Helga than the other way around.

Rhonda nodded.

"But doesn't he like-like Lila?" Katrinka spoke up for the first time.

Lila looked at Rhonda with interest. Where was she going with all of this?

Rhonda smiled menacingly as she leaned in and rested her chin against her laced fingers. "I think Arnold like-likes Helga more than he like-likes YOU, Lila dear."

"But how?" asked Nadine.

Rhonda rolled her eyes and sat up, "You've seen how Helga treats him. And what does he do to her?"

"Nothing?"

"Exactly! Arnold doesn't do a thing to get back at her. He just says "Whatever you say, Helga," and lets her walk all over him! And have you SEEN the way he looks at her?"

"But Arnold's way too nice to get back at anyone," Nadine pointed out.

"He could if he wanted to. Remember that time he came to school and started shoving kids into lockers?"

Nadine nodded and said nothing more.

"Well, what about me?" Lila challenged. "If Arnold like-likes Helga then why-ever would he follow me around saying he like-likes me?"

Rhonda of course, had all the answers. "It's pretty simple. Wait, no, it's needlessly complicated. But anyway, it isn't so hard to figure out. I'm sorry to say, Arnold is one of the densest kids I have ever met. He can't even tell that Helga like-likes him even though it is so COMPLETELY obvious!"

"It is?" Katrinka asked.

"You mean you didn't know?" Rhonda was amazed at the obliviousness of her peers. The girls all shook their heads, except Lila. "Really? But how could you NOT know? She always treats Arnold like dirt, abusing him with insults. Helga picks on Arnold more than anyone else, and he never does anything to deserve it. But here's a question: Have you ever seen her physically harm him? I mean, besides tripping him or throwing things at him." The girls all shook their heads. "I thought not. And do you know why? It's because she CAN'T. She's beaten up every boy in our grade at least once, all except for Arnold. She just can't bring herself to hurt him. See, to Helga, hurting Arnold would be like hurting herself, and Helga couldn't stand to do that."

"She likes him that much?" Sheena said in disbelief.

"I know, it's sad, isn't it?" Rhonda laughed, "But that's not the worst thing! Did you know that Helga follows him around? I've seen her do it. She's always "bumping into him." It's HILARIOUS, because whenever she does, she yells at HIM for following HER!" She laughed again, "And poor, dense little Arnold doesn't have a clue. He doesn't realize that she loves him."

"She loves him?"

"She's OBSESSED." Rhonda replied. "Anyway, the boy is an idiot. I, of course, blame Helga's attitude. She's so mean to him. And Arnold, being the nice guy that he is, thinks he should like someone like him. Someone nice and sweet and perfect."

"In other words, me." Lila said. She hated being "perfect" but that was what she was to these people. Why disappoint them?

"Yes you, Lila, are exactly what Arnold THINKS he wants, when in reality he like-likes Helga, your complete OPPOSITE as well as his. You know, opposites attract and all. You see?" Rhonda crossed her arms in front of her and smiled smugly.

Lila tried not to laugh. It was amusing to her that Rhonda knew all these tings. Lila never would have imagined that the fashion princess of the fourth grade could be so intelligent, or aware of others.

Rhonda continued. "I played a little trick on Arnold. Remember when I had my Origami Marriage Predictor? Well I made one for Arnold so he'd ONLY GET HELGA! It was sooo funny; he was so terrified at the idea of being married to her, he kept taking it over and over and over, hoping it wasn't true. I had such a hard time keeping a straight face!"

"Rhonda, that was mean." Nadine and the other girls giggled and headed out to the playground--all except for Lila, who stayed behind.

Out on the playground, one could find Arnold sitting on a swing, rocking slowly from side to side as he stared at the clouds above. For some reason he felt empty that day. Something was missing, and he couldn't for the life of him figure out what. It was something important; he could tell by how hopeless he felt. It was a lot like how he felt every year on the anniversary of his parents' disappearance. It had been too quiet a day. He couldn't think straight. He only drifted through his confused thoughts, trying to figure out what was wrong.

It was a beautiful day, despite his confusion. The sky was blue, except for the few clouds floating around here and there. He could have sworn that the rest of the clouds were somehow inside his head, clogging up his brain. In his mind it was foggy, raining and miserable. If only he could figure out what was wrong, maybe the clouds would go away, go back to the sky where they belonged.

If only life could make sense.