A/N: it's my first Ouran Fic, oh dear... I feel like they're both OOC (gah... well hopefully not). I got the plotline from a very good friend of mine; it's one of her true-to-life moments (adjusted to fit the pairing of course). Anyway, I lost a bet and this is what she made me do—so yeah, feel free to review and tell me what's off. (but I can guess a lot is. GAAH... blame her she made me do it!!/shot'd)
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club—or the plotline (since it's from another person's experience ), they're all awesome people. :D
ATTEMPT 256
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Attempt 1
It's so boring, the heat, the waves and the sand—it's just so...usual now. Hikaru wouldn't even look at or scheme with me, what's a twin to do when he's in Guam for the whole summer? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. The problem is, I'm not really an attention hog—nope, not Kaoru Hitachiin, but after the whole 'brotherly love' act in the host club you'll learn to miss that attention. Miss that attention to a point of obsession, the thing is Hikaru's obsession with that game boy matches my obsession for his attention and I, his twin—his co-host, falls second to it! Eight days and counting, he never tears his eyes away from it. I decided to make sure that stops, right now.
I sit myself next to him, with a little girl's excitement. "Hika...you know what? I've been feeling really bad lately...like I want to throw up—"he doesn't react: I pushed myself to act more submissive than I ever did. I flutter my eyes and giggled (I NEVER giggle, unless in front of our customers and even then it's rare), he ignores me—still!
There was nothing else to do, I treated getting Hikaru's attention like a game: a grunt would mean one point, smile three points, glance five points, laugh ten points and finally when I get his attention I'll win. As off now I have eight grunts, ten smiles, three glances, and a laugh: making a low 63 points. UGH I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M LOSING TO A GAME BOY!!!
When I finally gave up and laid on his lap, while he played the stupid game, I grimaced slightly looking at him, watching him so enticed by the game, "You know, Hika...I've been feeling a lot of things, and lately they've been confusing me a lot too. My heart's beating so fast, my face immediately warms up and whenever you hold my hand...I just don't want to let go. I don't know if I'm correct to say this...but that's the only thing I can say, I think... I think well... I like you Hikaru, as in I really, really like you more than a brother should." After the initial reaction of realizing what I said I rolled over to hide my face on his lap, avoiding whatever reaction he'll tell me.
I waited...and waited, but nothing came.
The urge to peep at him was too great, so I did. The second I saw his face, he turns to me—finally giving me his attention; I guess I won my own twisted game then.
"Did you say something?" he asks taking off his earphones and putting down his Game Boy.
I thought I heard something break, like my dignity or my confidence to try again, all shattered.
"Nothing...why is it that I think that that game is much more important than me?!"
Everything...I said everything there is to say, Hikaru.
He grimaces and puts it down (thank god), "Aww...c'mon Kao. Tell me what's up?"
"I really hate that game, and the console. I hope it burns in hell."
I was bitter alright!?
He chuckles and picks up the damned thing and handed it over to me, "C'mon I'll teach you how," I pushed it back into his hand, still a little pissed about it. He turns it on and pushes it in my hands, he circles me and caged me in his arms—he puts his hands over mine and starts to press buttons while I just watched idly. Minutes passed and I was getting the feel of the game, "Get it now?" and I was actually enjoying it.
"Yeah." His smile was so comforting that even when I'm mad I can't help myself.
Kaoru you are such an attention whore.
---
Attempt 256
"FINALLY!!! After 255 failed attempts to tell you the truth, you're FINALLY going to hear it! Because, today—Hikaru, TODAY! I'm going to make you listen! No storm, rain, moon, sun, dehydration, Haruhi or that DAMNED game boy is going to get in the way! 'cause today's the day, Day 3041 of being in-love with you in that way; attempt 256 is one of the best yet!" my voice echoes in my flat, the relief and comfort of finally being able to confess to him after eight years was lifting this heavy burden off my shoulders.
"I can't wait till he finally hears it, and when he finally says that he loves me back—in that way of course," I let out dreamy sigh, "Then we're going to elope, and go to Vegas to get legally married—although, I doubt they allow twins..." my voices drops as I hear hushed footsteps behind my back, my sudden silence causes the intruder to laugh lightly. "Do you have something to say to me, Milord?" I say in a very vexed and 'why must you intrude when I'm fantasizing!' tone.
He gives out a sigh, "Kaoru, Kaoru, Kaoru!" he substituted my name to the normal 'tsk', "Don't tell me, you have another plan to tell Hikaru the truth?" He rolls his eyes.
"Hey! Tamaki, I'm serious here! Do you know how many times I tried to tell him!?" I fall back on the floor, spreading my legs and leaning on the wall. "It's like...God just won't let me tell him, but maybe today, this time...he might FINALLY GET IT... get that I really, really love him..."
He shrugs, "You know Kaoru, you said that last time, and last last time, and last last last time, and last last last last time—you say it every time! But where has that gotten you? There!" he points at me, "Sulking in your own dreary corner..." I pouted and hugged my knees, resting my chin on top of them.
"...I still want to tell him." I say in a whiny voice.
He lets out a very loud, exasperated groan, "My son, you have to understand that every time you try to tell him, disaster begins—strikes, or just plainly hits you!" I can't disagree with that.
Tamaki strides to my desk, pushing over piles of paper and books, and grabs my little black book. "Plan 195, Send Hikaru a 'best brother' home-made card and stand outside his house." I already saw the possibilities: he gets out of work, tired he gets home, sees me and thanks me for the card, invites me inside then to asks me to stay the night then... "—But what happened! You waited for him to arrive home, you waited, waited, waited and waited you wanted to die thinking he wouldn't come...but then a car parks right in front of you, Hikaru steps out and so does Haruhi—"I was mentally stabbing her big brown eyes out, "—you got surprised and froze on the spot, the wind blows your card away to god knows where and then he sees you. You ran!" Tamaki ended stressing the part of me running, since I got a little intimidated—OKAY, I got intimidated of Haruhi.
My head falls lower a little sad, and embarrassed about 195, "OH... and let's not forget plan 201: buy a big billboard that's near the freeway and make a big billboard for Hikaru—I remember that banner, Kaoru, it was so beautiful, bright and colourful—but what happened? Hikaru drives along the freeway, passes the bright sign, blinds himself, crashes and was rushed to the hospital—and so were other people that stupidly looked at the freeway..."
I stood up, grabbing the black book from the older male and shoving it back into my school bag, "You know, Milord—you don't have to be such a pessimist—you know how much I love Hikaru, you know HOW LONG I WAITED FOR THIS DAY—"
"But!! Hikaru's just too dense to know, you know how he is—"
"No he's not."
"Yeah, you wish!!"
I trudged away from him, "Yeah...I'll wish... I'll wish that one day! One day, he'll finally understand, that one day he'll finally hear me—I'll wish that maybe...he'll love me too." I let out a very rosy sigh, "I'll wish for that one day.... I'll wish for one day....you'll finally mind your own business, Milord!" I couldn't help it. Tamaki was just so easily off-guard and caught in the moment; ah...the torture the Lord Days with Hikaru...DAMN, I'm reminiscing again.
"HEY!! Kaoru, Daddy's just trying to help you!! Hikaru will never, never, never to the nth time get it—unless you confess it, simply say it to his face."
I gushed out in shock, "What is this Milord? Have you forgotten WHO caused you endless torment in Ouran High School?" my voice was menacing, taunting and most of all teasing.
He sighs and twiddles with his thumbs, "Hikaru." He answers dreadfully, quietly leaving me out of the statement, I think it was implied that if it's Hikaru then it most probably includes Kaoru.
"WHO photocopied all the pages of your diary and published it to the school press?"
He sighs regretfully, "Hikaru..."
"WHO was the one that TOOK Haruhi on date, and made you realize your true feelings?"
He grumbles, "Hikaru..."
"WHO was the one that STOLE Haruhi from under your nose?" and at the same time broke my heart, but that's beside the point.
He growls now, "HIKARU!"
"AND WHO is the one that I'm going to be with till the end of time?!"
"HIKA---OOooohhh...you~!" he smirks and gives me a light hug and a thumbs up. There are just things that I really find too tempting to resist, like driving Tamaki to agree with me. Ah the simple joys of life...I wonder if I'd ever be able to take all of these again after later. The clock strikes 12 o'clock, I immediately eyed the door and Tamaki eases his way towards his side of the flat.
---
The minutes ticked, the sunlight was grazing my pale skin—burning the fact that it's almost 12:45 pm and yet still no Hikaru. I sat on one of the benches in the park, eagerly waiting for my targe—er...Hikaru, but apparently there seems to be a misunderstanding since he's not here. I let out a frustrated sigh and grumbled, "As usual, he's late...again." I wonder WHY I even bother going to our meetings on time, when he NEVER does. Oh, right it's because I'm a twin on a mission... with 255 failed attempts. The people on the park kept giving me small glances, girls were squealing, and the women my age were eye-to-eye flirting.
"Ugh!! Where is he!!?" I yelled a few faces were turning to face me, "...Ughh—it's getting to hot!"
I'm getting a little too impatient, blame the sunlight and the heat wave and just when I was about to leave a notable voice calls me, "Kaoru." I immediately turn my head to his direction, a smile replacing my scowl. He was smiling at me guiltily, "It's so hot...oh-so-hot..." there goes my mouth.
He arches his brow, "Really? I find it kind of cold honestly; I even have my jacket on." That's when I notice the jacket I bought for him last Christmas, it was framing his torso quite adequately. He smiles and sits beside me on the bench, I scoot away from him. "Aww...c'mon Kao...don't tell me you're mad?"
"Well! I don't know, Hikaru! You're just LATE...AGAIN!" I'm not mad, Hikaru.
He pouts, "I'm sorry...I just had to do some minor grocery shopping...and the line took forever—"
"I was just there Hika. There was no lane." There was a line...but it couldn't have taken that long.
"Yeah—but there was when I was there..."
"Come off it Hika, just admit that you're late" and that's just it, I won't ask anymore. Just don't lie to me. I crossed my arms and huffed, if there was one thing I'm used to it's that Hikaru will always be late and I'll find his excuses terribly bad and laughable.
He sighs and keeps his eyes on my direction, "Well...yeah, fine. I'm late...I'm sorry Kaoru." He smiles the carefree smile I love, "So why are we here anyway?"
I felt the Goosebumps scatter everywhere, I looked up at him—my eyes were serious and a bit desperate already, "Yes, of course! Why are we here...hmm...I just want to talk—"
"Just 'talk' Kaoru? We could've done that over the phone—"
"Would you listen?!" he clams up and leans slightly backwards as I found myself leaning forward to his face. "Now...your phone—"
"Kao... I really don't see—"
"Just turn it off!"
He jumps a little, "O-Okay..."
I scanned his body, "And your iPod, and PSP too!" I might seem demanding, but you try confessing for 255 times and in those 255 attempts DISTRACTIONS seem to be your number one enemy.
"What?! Why!" he grumbles as he took his earphones off and puts them back on his jacket, on second thought, "Hika...put them under the bench—"
"WHAT!? Seriously Kao, what are we going to talk about anyway... is this some secret nobody knows about?" he grumbles putting them under the bench.
I took a deep breath, "OH NO HIKARU. It's NOT, because EVERYBODY knows about it. Our parents know about it, the Host Club knows about it, people everywhere knows about it, even that janitor knows!!" he gives me a 'really?' look and I resisted the urge to give him the speech of my failed attempts.
"Oh...that's some secret then, it's seems like I'm the only one who doesn't know." Well you are... "Even that guy with the broom knows?! I'm seriously offended, I'm your twin Kaoru how could you keep this from me?" ...going to find out now.
"I tried telling you Hikaru, I tried—" I heard a beeping sound, I glared at the vibrating cell on his hand—"Put it down, or never see it again, your choice Hikaru." My voice became deadly serious. His lithe hands placed the gadget with the rest of the distractions, "Now... I hope there's nothing left that can cut me off there on you..." I tugged on the jacket and pulled the zipper open, "Alright then!" and then my voice became extremely light and happy as a smile appears on my face.
"So what are we going to talk about, Kao?" I pulled out an illustration board from my side of the bench. "Illustration boards...But... Kaoru—I'm not really artsy like—"
I stood up from the bench holding the 1/8 illustration boards close to my chest, a reminiscing tone in my voice, "Hika...do you remember the games we played when we were kids?"
"Uh... annoy-the-maids?"
"NO!"
"AH-which-one's-Hikaru?"
"NO!"
"Then what—"
I gave him a light glare, "the one we play just to annoy mom when we're bored. The guessing game." I say softly, he forms an 'o' shape and smiles at me, "You remember now?" he nods and I took my seat next to him. He glances at my face, "Alright you first" I gave him an illustration board and a marker.
He takes his time, trying to write something until he—
"Alright! Guess!" he claims like when we were kids, "It's a colour!"
I roll my eyes, a little pissed at how predictable he's become, "Green." He pouts and drops his board on his lap, a little perplexed by what happened.
"Uh...how did you know?" Twin telepathy isn't real, it's just that I really know him...and he is the most predictable person ever.
I shrugged, "Easy, you looked at my shirt and then wrote on the board—a little too obvious big brother." I say casually, he grimaces. "My turn!" He looks away giving me my time to write something down; apparently he grew up from his 'cheating' phase and actually doesn't peep at my board.
I finished and held the board up, the filled side facing my chest, "Guess, it's an animal."
He hums, "Uhm...bear?" and he was wrong.
"Goldfish." I said nonchalant about it, I suppose I can wish twin telepathy were real.
He scowls, "I don't wanna play this game, and you're good at this." He says like the sore-loser he is, like when we were kids. "You're just really good at guessing games." It's because I can read you like a children's book, Hikaru. There's just some things you can't change, and that's what I really like about you.
"I'm not...I just...I just simply know everything about you," he looks at me, our golden irises meeting, "I know what makes you laugh, what makes you mad, what annoys you to no end. I know when you're scared, when you're worried, or when you just don't care...and I know when you're in-love." I say the last part more to myself than him.
He gapes a little startled, "...Wow...Kao, you really do know a lot about me..." he grows silent, and I suddenly feel like attempt 256 was the last attempt and it's going to be a success. I never broke our eye contact he smirks, "It's because we grew up together I think, and we did have our own world before the Host Club. I guess that's why you're really good at this, why you know...everything there is about me..." his tone was slowing down to a sad one, the happy Hikaru is fading from view.
"What about me, Hikaru...do you know me?" do you know why I'm acting like this, do you know why I stood outside your house and ran when I saw you with Haruhi? Do you know why your twin brother is suffering so much? Do you? "Answer me, Hikaru."
He was staring at me, quiet and looking pensive about the question, "Of course I know you. You're my twin, my brother—there will be things that I'll forget, but I know that I'll never forget my first best friend and brother." Those words....shouldn't be painful, I should be grateful I'm his best friend or that he cherishes the fact I'm his brother...but that wasn't the answer I was looking for.
"I love you Kaoru; you're my brother so just tell me what you're going to tell me—we don't need to play this game." Game? Oh...right the guessing game. Ugh, I can't believe plan 256 failed. It seems as it's not really meant to be then. I'm his brother after all, just his twin brother. I felt my happy mood faltering back into depression as I scooted closer to him and tangled our arms together. I leaned my head on his shoulder, "...I don't want to play anymore, Hika..."
He nods and takes my discarded board and his and throws it to the side, he chuckles and reverts back to stroking the hair on my face and the hand that rested on his lap. I found myself losing consciousness and falling back to the darkness with his breathing my only guide.
---
Hikaru POV
Sometimes I wonder what Kaoru's doing, how he's doing and probably (hopefully no one) who he's doing—I'm a very overly curious brother I admit that. As he falls asleep on my shoulder, I couldn't help but look back on the days where we shared a bed (innocently!) and I wake up to his face smiling at me like something was actually 'good' in the morning. He was always so...happy, but so easily irritated and maybe a little bit of an attention whore. I mean that in a good way. I just miss everything about him.
Even the little muttering he does when he's asleep, "...Hi...ka...mhmmm..." I pushed his bangs back, drawing a line down his cheek to his chin. He's so perfect in anyway, so adorable and uncannily unlike me.
I lower my voice into a whisper, "Hmm...You didn't get to tell me...the secret... I was really curious too." He just sighs in his sleep and smiles idly, I felt myself smile as well.
"Hikaru?" I look up seeing the Host Club's 'mommy' looking down me like he usually does, he hums like he knows something, "Oh...I see, Kaoru managed to tell you after all." I looked him up and down, seeing his briefcase and that suit he's wearing; I didn't get a chance to process what he was saying.
"You taking a walk?" he pushes his glass up and nods, "Well...have fun." I say offhanded and went back to stroking my younger brother's hand.
"Hmm... I see you finally cracked Hikaru, but I can't say I didn't see it. Kaoru's very lucky." That comment, however I managed to hear and process. He smirks at me, like the 'I know everything' aura Kyouya carries. Kaoru pulled my arm closer to him, and soon after changed position from leaning on my shoulder to lying directly on top of my lap.
I let out a bitter laugh, "Well...I haven't really told him, so...you're wrong." He 'tch'ed' and sighs frustrated like my insides were. It's not that I didn't love Kaoru, I love him—more than how brothers do. But that's just unacceptable in the times today, heck falling in-love with your cousin is a bad thing—what more if you're actually twins.
"Then why don't you try confessing?"
I let my sight fall back on my twin's sleeping face, "I have...I am. I've been trying to tell him for eight years now...but I guess I just have to keep on waiting."
But I don't mind waiting; I'll wait forever if I have to. Just as long as it's you Kaoru, I wouldn't mind the wait—I'll love you more, I'll cherish you further—then once you're ready, and once the time's right. I'll tell you, and you'll tell me those words we both longed for.
Kyouya left without saying anything after, and that's when Kaoru decided to snuggle closer. Wrapping his arms around my waist and settling his head on my lap. He mutters my name under his breath. "God, Kaoru...how long are you going to make me wait?"
---
Attempt 1
Do you know that knotting feeling whenever you're near a person that you extremely really like? The one where that eerie feeling drives you to do stupid things right in front of them? I do. In fact, it's like a permanent thing for me, since the person I really like is...
"Hika...c'mon I wanna play—"block it out Hikaru, block him out. You're not hearing anything.
I scrambled for my iPod in my jacket's pocket, turning it to the loudest volume and just plugging in the earphones—I saved myself from another call of temptation. There was a presence next to me, some tugging and pulling on my sleeve, another shaking my shoulders. Once the song ended, leaving a three second gap between the next song.
"—fine, ignore me then." Kaoru rested his head on my shoulder, taking the arm closer to him captive as he sleeps. Ugh... I'm getting the feeling this plane ride to Guam is going to take awhile. After approximately two or three songs, I finally summed up all my courage and decided that this was now or never...well, now or later—I'm not exactly the one-go-and-its-over kind of person. I pushed pause.
I took a deep breath and pushed for luck to go my way, just this one time.
"Uhm... you know Kaoru, I really have something important to say...I hope you won't get mad at me. Cause you know Kaoru, this thing that I'll say might make you really mad...and I don't want that. So Kaoru please, please don't get mad. Uh...it's like this... uhm... like—like, like uhmm... it's well I—I I think I... well... I'm not really sure. Promise me you won't get mad, cause Kaoru I think I—I uhm.... I like you... uhm a lot. You know... that kind of like."
Directly after saying (babbling) those things I pressed play and ducked my head in front of my iPod, but there was no reaction. He was just there leaning on my shoulder like he didn't hear anything. I took a peep at him: he was sleeping.
His eyes flickers open, our identical eyes meeting.
"Were you saying something Hika?"
I guess...it's later then.
"Uh...nothing...I'll just wake you up when we're at the airport already, okay?"
He nods and smiles at me, this time taking my hand into his, "I'm surprised you actually listened." He leans back on my shoulder, grows quiet and returns to sleeping.
Yeah, I listened, but...when will you?
A/N: So there's the end of it. I hope you enjoyed reading, you know who you are. And of course to those who read this, thank you for taking the time to. Oh one last thing, leave a review before you press that 'back' button. :D
--Okay, seems to me like you guys got mixed up with the 'so there's the end of it', there will be a chapter two (and more) :D I meant the end of the first chapter... I really should make my words clearer. Anyway to those that reviewed, Thank you so much and I hope to see you guys in the next chapters--