The night was pitch-black, the young silver-haired woman sitting by the window only illuminated by a single candle-light. She was gazing thoughtfully out the window at the whirling leaves in the cold autumn night. Sighing, she turned her attention to the writing pad on her lap, opened her elegant fountain pen and began to write.

Kaori, my beloved Kaori,

it has been such a long time since I last saw your face, heard your voice, felt your caresses, tasted your lips… I miss you so much.

I'm no longer the Etoile of Astrea Hill. I returned the necklace some days ago and found your letter.

You want me to go on… I want that, too. And I think it may now be possible. Returning the necklace, I finally let go of you. I'll never forget you, our love or the wonderful time we spent together, but I hope and think I can move on now. Even though it is too late to do this with Nagisa.

I made so many mistakes, Kaori. I regret them so deeply now…

When I met Nagisa, I was fascinated by her. She is so beautiful, so cute and sweet, so incredibly full of life…I fell for her head over heels. And she was so wonderfully shy…wooing her was fun and exciting…it made me feel alive again. Nagisa reached my heart. She was the first who could melt the layers of ice around it after your death. I finally saw colours in the world again, I heard the birds sing, I could smell the flowers, feel the warm summer wind on my skin. It was amazing. And everything because of this incredible young woman who had entered my life.

I know Nagisa has feelings for me. She has shown me a number of times what she feels and she told me, the night in the green house. She wanted me to say that I don't want her to run in the Etoile election. I don't want her to run…I think I don't have to tell you. I don't want her to share the intimacy of being the Etoile with Tamao or anyone but me. And I don't want her to carry the heavy burden on her shoulders.

It would mean growing up a lot faster than I want my Nagisa to grow up…my Nagisa. But she isn't. By my choice. And I didn't tell her that she shouldn't run. Instead I said how good a pair she and Tamao make. Which is true. But all the same, I don't want them to be the Etoile.

You would probably ask why I told Nagisa to run and shoved her out of my life. When I spent time with her at the summer house and broke down because of your memory, I realised that I can't burden Nagisa with my past. Even if I have let go of you and want to move on, I need someone by my side who can cope with my pain and sorrow and help me to get over it.

Nagisa ran away that night…I don't think she is ready to deal with the task of helping me. She is so young, I was her first love and she should experience a first love which is fun and lively, carefree and easy. And I can't be that. So I let her go.

But I will use these months until graduation to heal. And then I will start over new when I get to college. And maybe I will find a new love.

But you will be forever in my heart, Kaori. Because you were my first love.

Goodbye, Kaori, goodbye, my wonderful love. Until I reach the place where you already are, I promise to go on living in the world outside…

Love, Shizuma

She read the letter to Kaori again and again, until she finally slipped it into the envelope and sealed it. Shizuma rose from her seat, blew out the candle and left Kaori's former room- the only room in which she could have written this letter.

Walking past her own room, the silver-haired, beautiful woman left the dormitory and followed the path into the forest until she reached the tree. Their special tree. Another place where she could remember Kaori lividly. The former Etoile raised the letter to her lips and placed a loving, gentle kiss on the paper before she took a box of matches out of her pocket and lighted the envelope. Shizuma held the letter until the fire got too close to her fingers, then watched it smouldering away into nothingness. "Goodbye, Kaori," she whispered as the last wisps of paper dissolved into black ashes.