Hi everyone!! I just saw New Moon. So inspirational and Taylor Lautner... wow. that's the only way I can put it.
This is something new that's been nagging at my mind for some time now and I just had to get it out. It's just the first chapters but I have so many ideas (Yes I'm still working on The Path to Realization lol!! I still can't believe how that story has picked up. You guys are all so awesome!! I love you all)
BPOV
I sat at my computer reviewing my applications, still not sure of where I wanted to go to school. I considered New York State University because it was the closest top school I could attend and still be near to the ones I loved, but then came the topic of Jacob and Edward and the constant conflicts. To be honest I was now thinking of going abroad to give myself space. Space would have been the last thing I would have wanted last year when Edward left me broken but now I craved it. The madness that was now my life was being pulled in two different directions by the two men I loved.
"Penny for your thoughts love," Edward's cool breath tickled my ear. Startled I screamed and put a hand to my chest to slow my heart when I realized it was him.
"Edward! What are you doing?! You gave me a heart attack," his eyes became ridden with guilt. He was always telling me how fragile I was and here I blamed him for testing said fragility.
"I'm so sorry Bella, I didn't mean to frighten you. Will you forgive me?" he brushed a hand through my hair, sweeping it away from my face and kissed my forehead. How couldn't I forgive him when he did that. His breath a drug that called to me, making my mouth water.
"Of course," I brought my mouth up to his, my breath catching at the thought of his lips touching mine.
"Lame," the deep gruff voice in my doorway made me jump, again. I pulled away from Edward and had to fight the urge to moan just at the sight of Jacob standing in my doorway shirtless, as always now a days. Not that I was complaining. A chest like that should be admired.
"How did you get in?" stupid question. I could tell he was thinking the same thing when he raised an eyebrow in astonishment.
"We're practically family Bella," just then a smile tugged at one corner of his mouth. "Except for that we're not actually related. Thank god for that," his big smile spread across his face. My smile.
I blushed at what he was implying. I knew Charlie preferred Jacob over Edward, he never tried to hide the fact. The most recent development in that direction was Charlie giving Jacob a key to our house and actually turned the spare room full of his extra fishing equipment and old stuff from when he and mom were married into a guest room. That's what he called it. We, Jacob, Edward and I all knew what it really was. It was a room for Jacob should he want to stay the night. Charlie may want us together but he would still shoot him on the stop if he caught him in my room at night, not that it would do much.
"Will you please keep your perverse thoughts to yourself," Edward's face was contorted in pain. I cringed at what Jacob must be thinking. The smug look on his face was a dead give-away. His grin just got wider when I blushed bright red at the thought of what he must be conjuring up in his mind to torture my poor vampire.
"Oh for the love of god! That's not even possible for a human!" Edward's eyes nearly bugged out of his face. Jacob burst out laughing, and wiggled his eyebrows at me when I gave him a questioning look.
"Do I even want to know?"
"NO!" Edward turned me away from Jacob. In all honesty I was getting pretty tired of this overprotective side of him. And so was Jacob apparently.
"Oh come on! It was a joke. Pull the fangs out of your ass and lighten up," I snorted and burst out laughing at Jacob's statement. I wrapped my arms around my waist, holding my ribs that were starting to hurt from laughing so hard.
Edward looked annoyed but nothing more. I knew he loved to see me laugh even if it was at his expense. With my body bent over in my office chair, I didn't realize my computer screen was visible… with the list of European Universities.
I knew he'd seen the site when he stiffened.
"What the hell is this Bella?" Jacob stomped over to my other side, scrutinizing the screen, then looked back at me with a hurt look in his eyes.
"It's a list of Universities," I played it dumb, hoping they wouldn't think much of it.
"A list of Universities in the United Kingdom," Edward's golden gaze shifted from the screen to my face. The look on both their faces was killing me. I couldn't stand it. I stood up and walked to my window, sitting on the sill. I smiled looking down at the wooden frame of the window where you could still see scratches and impressions in the wood from when they would come visit me. I traced a fingerprint pushed deep in the wood, most likely Jacob's and my smile faded when I saw the faint scratch marks left by Edward.
"I can't keep doing this,"
"What do you mean?" Edward stepped forward but stopped when I turned to look at him. It hurt to see the both of them in my room, the space bristling with hatred towards each other.
"This," I gestured to them and then looked back down, tracing both indents in the wood made by the men I loved. That's when I noticed that both of the marks actually touched, it was faint but it was there. I just wished they could connect and see how much their animosity was slowly killing me.
"I told you to stay away from her now look what you've done!" Jacob's voice quivered as his anger began to take over him.
"What I did? We were just fine until you decided to meddle,"
"Meddle?! I saved her! You left her for dead and I put her back together. If it wasn't for me she'd still be broken and suffering from your neglect," I heard Edward hiss and knew Jacob had hit a sore spot. I hated hearing him speaking to Edward like that but he had a point.
"Will the two of you STOP!" I don't remember ever screaming that loud in my life, but I had to get their attention and there didn't seem to be any other way.
Both men were nose to nose, Jacob shaking, barely keeping it in check while Edward's fingers looked ready to tear Jacob limb from limb. At my shriek but turned, surprise etched on their beautiful faces.
"Out. Now," I pointed to the door.
"Bella we still have to dis-"
"What I plan to do for my future is my business Edward! You've made it plain you don't want to change me. I've come to terms with that, I don't like it but I'm dealing with it,"
"But Bells, it's overseas?!" Jacob's anger was starting to spill over, I was beginning to fear he'd tear my room apart. I wasn't afraid he'd actually hurt me, that was ridiculous.
"What's your point?"
"It's o-ver-seas!" he exaggerated, his eyes wide with what looked like fear. He was another one who was fiercely overprotective of me.
"Yeah and? That's my choice and I've decided to go to Oxford, I just sent my application," I lied.
"First of all, learn to lie. You're terrible. Second, there's no way in hell I'm letting you go overseas where anything can happen," Jacob advanced with each statement, his face now inches from my own. I refused to let myself be intimidated and stood up on my tip toes, barely reaching his nose.
"Listen here Jacob," I poked him in the chest," I will go to any school I please and do NOT need your permission, or Edward's." He opened his lips to object but I put my hand over his mouth. The feel of his lips sending shivers down my spine. Don't let yourself get distracted! I pulled myself straight again and looked at Edward. "I'm going and its final,"
"We'll see about that," with that Edward left in the blink of an eye, his scent lingering in the corner of my room. I sighed knowing that I'd have a struggle the likes of which I'd never experienced but I was determined to have it my way.
"Why? Can you at least tell me that?" I turned to find Jacob sitting on my bed, his arms draped over his bent knees, his shoulders slumped in defeat. I knew I'd hurt him with forcing my opinion on him but my point needed to be made. I wasn't taking it back.
"Why. You and Edward are why," I sat down next to him my hand playing in his. His fingers automatically entwined themselves with mine. I smiled at how natural it felt, we didn't even have to think about it. "Every time you and Edward fight it hurts so bad. I can't stand it that I'm causing you both grief,"
"Why is it that you always think that things are your fault?"
"Can you honestly tell me it's not?" his warm hands turned my face to his. I closed relishing in the feel of his heat, and gasped when his lips touched mine in a soft kiss.
"You are more than worth the fight Bells," he brought his head back down to mine, but his words his a cord. I knew they would fight for me. Fight until one of them was severely hurt, or worse. I pulled out of his embrace and stood up walking back to my computer.
"What's wrong?" he came up behind me, his hands resting on my shoulders.
"Jake I have to do this. I can't stand that I'm hurting the both of you just by being here. Besides, I heard Oxford has an amazing Law program,"
"What a vampire isn't enough for you, you want to be a blood sucking lawyer?" I knew he was joking but he really hit a sore point.
"Jake, just leave please,"
"Fine," he stood and just as he reached the doorway he turned. "Don't think that this is over. As much as I hate to admit it, the leech was right. We'll see about this," his stare and determined demeanor made me so angry. I went back to my computer and debated if going abroad was what I really wanted. Biting my lip in indecision, I thought back to how sure the two of them had been in having a say in what I wanted to do with my life. I took a deep breath and filled out the application.
"There. It'd done. Now the wait to see if I made it,"
Two months later
I drove back to the house eager to see if I'd gotten any mail. I'd received a few acceptances from the Universities I'd applied here in the States but wanted to see what I would get from Oxford. I parked my truck and quickly ran out, nearly plummeting to the ground thanks to my clumsiness.
I opened the mail box and my shoulders slumped at yet another day without a word. That's when I smelled it. The sweet arousing scent that I knew only came from one person; Edward. Running back to my truck I turned it up and threw it in gear in a way I knew would have Jacob flinching.
I drove like a madwoman, angry, furious that he would do such a thing. How dare he! I finally arrived at the house and threw the truck in parc, ignoring its grunt of pain as the gears settled in place. I slammed the door and stormed to the porch when the door opened and Alice danced out to meet me, her cool embrace only serving to make me angrier. I knew she'd seen this coming, why she didn't say anything was beyond me. She stiffened when I didn't hug her back and I softened at the look of remorse on her face.
"I can't say I blame him Bella, I'm not saying it's right what he did but he should have a say,"
"He could have, now he doesn't," I walked past her and into the Cullen home where Esme and Carlisle came to greet me, both with beaming smiles.
"Where is he," I hated being so abrupt, the two of them had more than loving to me, but I had to get my letter.
"In the backyard dear. With Jacob," my fury boiled over and walked right past them knowing they wouldn't be angry with me. I walked into the kitchen and straight to the patio door leading to the backyard where I saw the two of them talking. I slid the pane of glass and slammed it shut behind me hoping to make it sound as aggressive as I wanted it to be. Both men turned to look at me, both with determined looks on their faces.
"Oh so now the two of you decide to be all buddy. Let's all gang up on Bella," I put my hands on my hips and walked down to them wanting to hurt them. They had no trouble hurting me with their fighting when it suited them and now that I wanted to do something they had no trouble hurting me with their insensitive gestures. Well now I wanted to hurt them but that's rather hard when one's an immortal vampire and the other a practically indestructible werewolf.
"Bella we told you we would discuss this before you'd actually decide anything," Edward's cool voice which usually turned my knees to jelly now grated my nerves and made me want to slap that beautiful face.
"No you said we'd discuss it. I have nothing to discuss with either of you," Jacob turned to face me fully and crossed his arms over his massive chest.
"Bells, listen-"
"Shut up!" I grabbed the largest object I could lift and hit him with it as hard as I could. The only thing was that I grabbed a large bird house sitting on the corner of the patio which shattered when I hit him with it. I instantly felt bad knowing that it was most likely Esme's but at the moment I was happy that I'd gotten that out of my system even though Jacob looked like he'd been hit by a bubble for all the effect it did.
"Are you done?" His question and the way he asked it made me angrier. And that's when I realized the only way to get to them would be to hurt me and I was desperate to get my anger out so I did it in a way I knew they'd regret. I punched Jacob in the face and kicked his shin. I howled in pain when I heard and felt my bones break on impact.
"Bells! What the hell?!"
"Bella!" Edward rushed to help me at the same time as Jacob. Edward hissed at Jacob who growled right back at him. They were too engrossed in their supremacy over who would take care of me, they failed to notice me hopping on one foot while clutching my broken hand close to my chest. I shoved my way through the two angry men I loved with every fiber of my being but hated at the same time and hopped over to the porch to where I knew help would arrive within seconds.
Alice was out in the blink of an eye and picked me up, bringing me to Carlisle in an instant. Behind his desk, Carlisle looked up, his brilliant smile was wiped right off his face at the sight of protruding bone through my wrist and odd angle of my foot. The smell of blood wafted up to my nose and I felt my stomach dive down and turn over in nausea. I turned my face onto the cool skin of Alice chest, temporarily relieved by her frigid body temperature.
"Bella, oh my god, what happened?" he rushed to my side, medic bag already in hand. He ushered Alice to lay me on his desk but I clutched to her like a life line.
"No please, I need someone to hold me,"
"Then let me," Edward was in the doorway, a disgraced look on his face. He walked towards me with every intention of taking me from Alice but stopped when he looked at Alice. Alice must have seen something happening for he looked at me and turned around, his shoulders sagging with guilt. I felt my heart breaking at what he must have realized was the inevitable but it seemed to be the only way to get through to him.
"Bells?" Jacob stood just behind Edward. Edward put a hand on Jacob's chest to stop him. Jacob growled but stopped at something Edward whispered to him.
"I'll go get your letter," Edward was gone and back in the blink of an eye with my letter in hand. Just when I was about to take it Carlisle chose that moment to set my foot. I screamed in pain, tears running down my cheeks as I clutched Alice's arm for support. I looked down at Carlisle and smiled weakly when he looked at me apologetically. He moved to my hand and I moaned in pain when he picked it up.
"I can't take this," Jacob turned away, covering his ears. Edward growled and shoved Jacob's hands off his ears.
"You should hear it, it's because of you that she's like this!"
"If you hadn't had the bright idea of taking her letter she wouldn't have been so angry!"
"ENOUGH!" I yelled, just before Carlisle set my hand. Alice put her cool hand across my forehead, keeping me conscious when I'm sure I would have passed out otherwise. "Enough," I said, panting, trying to catch my breath, the pain taking over.
"Easy Bella," Carlisle took out a needle and gave me a quick shot. The cool fluid ran through my body like a cool but welcome burst of water. The pain was almost non-existent within seconds.
"Alice, take her home. Keep an eye on her please,"
"I can take her," Edward offered. Carlisle put a hand to his chest to hold him back and held his other hand out to Edward. Sighing in defeat, Edward gave Carlisle my letter from Oxford. He gave it to Alice, who tucked it in my jacket pocket. Jacob stepped forward arms ready to take me but Alice stopped, holding me tight to her chest.
"Both of you, in my office," Edward and Jacob looked at Carlisle and walked in, Carlisle closed the door behind them.
My house
I opened my door and nearly fell to the ground before Alice caught me.
"Silly Bella, let me carry you in," smiling her bright smile that I knew was pure farce but I kept my mouth shut until we were inside. I asked her to put me down on the couch; at least I'd be close to everything I needed.
"So, what would you like to do?"
"Drop the act Alice and please give me my letter,"
"Bella you know they're only doing this because they both love you fiercely,"
"Give it Alice," sighing she pulled the letter out of her coat.
"You're in,"
"I know," she frowned at me. "Would Edward create such a fuss over a rejection letter?" I opened it anyway with one hand but I managed. I had to see for myself. I smiled at the congratulatory letter.
"You know this changes everything," Alice's shoulders were hunched over in sadness. At first I wasn't sure what she was referring to then it dawned on me. My being changed and joining the Cullen family.
"I know Alice, but I have to do this. Please trust me," I pleaded. Alice looked up and looked like if she could she would be crying.
"I know, it's just I really wanted you to be my sister, and Edward loves you so much," I smiled and stroked her cold beautiful cheek.
"We can still be sisters, just please understand. I love you Alice, you're my best friend and my sister." She smiled brightly and hugged me tight.
"Alice, air!"
"Oh sorry,"
Three weeks later, Washington Airport
I don't know what Carlisle told them but both men were very contrite and promised to be understanding and supportive of my decision. I had to admit it was hard leaving them. A part of me felt like it was dying at the mere thought of being separated for so long and so far, but the other more persistent part of me said it was for the best, for all three of us. It was still hard and I couldn't help the tears that escaped.
Edward approached me, that beautiful soft smile on his lips, I loved that smile. This was going to be so hard.
"If you ever need anything, money, clothes, a house, a hug," I laughed through my tears," I will be there," he brushed my bangs away and left a soft lingering kiss on my forehead. His hand gripped me to his hard body, clutching the material of my coat.
"Thank you, but you have to let me go,"
"You know I promised I wouldn't when you saved me from the Volturri and here you are making break that promise," he kept smiling softly while speaking to me in that low gruff voice I loved. That's how I knew he was fighting a dangerous battle within. I reached up and kissed the corner of his mouth and whispered, "I love you," before I walked over to Jacob.
My light, my sunshine was leaning against the doorway to my flight, looking down at his shoes like they were the most interesting thing he'd ever seen. I knew better. I walked up to him between his legs, until I was directly in his field of vision, or at least my feet were. He looked up, and I almost came undone. His eyes were glassy with unshed tears. He didn't need to say anything, he just wrapped his arms around me and held me close, inhaling the scent of my hair like he was memorizing me. I did the same. I loved his woodsy smell, the feel of his muscles through his t-shirt. His soft skin, all of it was my Jacob.
"Come back please. That's all I want. Just please come back," his voice broke and he buried his face in the crook of my neck to hide his tears. I couldn't hold them in anymore, I cried. I cried for the two men I loved whom I was about to leave for four years. The two men I loved more than my own life.
I untangled myself from Jacob, not without much difficulty. And not all on his part, I wouldn't let go. I was beginning to regret my decision. I had to leave, leave now before I lost the last thread of resolve I was hanging onto.
I picked up my carry-on luggage and said my goodbyes one last time before I boarded my plane to the UK.
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