Author's Note: HELLO LITTLE… UH… MONSTERS?

Or maybe not. ^.^;

Here's the long promised epilogue… This would have been up a lot sooner but my computer decided to crash and I had to re-write completely. I'm honestly not too sad about it as this version is 10,000 times better than the last one was! I thank Lady Gaga's album "Born This Way" for this flash of inspiration. Between "Bad Kids", "Electric Chapel", and "You and I", I knew exactly how I had to finish up this piece.

There may be more "bonus tracks" in the future but as of right now BAD ROMANCE IS DOOONE. See the triple O? That makes it super-duper done. XD

I hope you guys enjoy and please, if you see any typos, grammatical errors and the like be kind and let me know. :D I am rusty at this writing thing and could use all of the con/crit I can get.

Warnings: EXTREME NON-WARNINGNESS. BE CAUTIOUS OF THE LACK OF ANYTHING WORTH WARNING ABOUT. Honestly if you've made it this far you deserve this epilogue honeys. :)

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note nor do I own "Electric Chapel", which was written and owned by Lady Gaga. I am just using these things for my own personal amusement, which in this case, is quite tasteless and fluffy.


"My body is a sanctuary, my blood is pure,

(Doot-doo-doo, doot-doot-doo-doo)

You want me bad, I think you're cool,

But I'm not sure…

(Doot-doo-doo, doot-doot-doo-doo)

Follow me, don't be such a holy fool!

Follow me I need something more from you.

It's not about sex or champagne you holy fool.

(Doot-doo-doo, doot-doot-doo-doo)

If you wanna meet me at Electric Chapel…

If you wanna meet me at Electric Chapel…

If you wanna steal my heart away

Meet me, meet me baby in a safe place.

Come on, meet me

In Electric Chapel."

-"Electric Chapel" by Lady Gaga


BONUS TRACK: ELECTRIC CHAPEL


02/04/2011 – 3:55 PM

Sayu: liiiiiight

Sayu: U CANT IGNORE ME FOREVA BIG BRO

Sayu: cmon I wasnt tryin to be all up on ur mojo. maybe if u and big bro #2 would stop breaking up every other week i wouldnt have to jack up ur game on friday nights

Sayu: cuz u know… THERE WOULDNT BE ANY GAME TO JACK UP DAMN IT!

Sayu: if u dont answer me rite now im gonna tell mom that it was u who spilled the hawaiin punch all over her trashy novels and didnt clean up the mess.

Light: DAMN IT SAYU WE BOTH KNOW THAT WAS YOU.

Sayu: hi :3

Light: Before you say anything else, no.

Sayu: :( but i didnt say nething

Light: I already know L put you up to this. No I am not taking you out on Friday, no I am not telling you where I am going, and no I am not going to tell you if I shall be… "macking" on some "dude".

Light: So fuck off.

Light: Tell L I told him to fuck off too for that matter. Two for one special on the house KTHX.

Sayu: well thats just mean. :p and i was just gonna say good luck on friday.

Light: Sayu I can see your shifty eyes from here and I'm nowhere near you.

Sayu: asshole. I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE MADE YOU GET A FB.

Light: Yeah because that's just what I need in life. Another way for both my boyfriend and my little sister to stalk me without me realizing it. Bye Sayu.

Sayu: ITS ALL ABOUT THE STATUS UPDATES LIGHT. STAAATUS UPDAAATES!


Light almost chuckled as he stared down at his phone, the tiny screen filled with angry emoticons and Sayu's purposeful eye-gouging misspelling. This last semester of classes had been particularly stressful and his and L's usual banter had created many unnecessary fights bred from exhaustion, long cases turned cold and sheer stubbornness. Light's quick tongue and L's brutal words led to things being said-

("WELL FUCK YOU TOO!"

"Light would do well to remember that I did so last night but I would gladly reacquaint his behind with the same treatment I bequeathed it whilst you were on your back moaning like a whore."

"I was faking it like one too!"

"Light how dare you!")

That normally would slide off both their backs but in this case festered true anger at the most trivial of matters.

("Did you drink the last of the coffee?"

"I ran out of tea."

"So you couldn't, oh, I don't know, BUY MORE TEA instead of stealing the rest of my coffee?"

"I knew Light would buy more of both once I informed him of the most recent of developments."

"You've been home all day!"

"Working."

"On your ass!"

"Deducing."

"Get somebody else to run your errands you asshole!")

The hostility within their exchanges had gone from a level of three from the beginning of the semester to about over 9,000 once his final exams had popped right around the corner and Light couldn't even stand to look at his lover without wanting to claw his face his off and gnaw on his cold, rotting remains. All it took was one word and Light was either ready to fight the overgrown three-year-old or-

("Why did you stop?"

"I believe the bed-frame shall suffer greatly from your over enthusiasm Light. Let us switch positions before we must explain to your mother why there is a hole in her wall and whose fault it is that she must acquire a new bed."

"Graaaagh FINE let's go before I completely lose my interest please!"

"How romantic."

"Less talking, more fucking please!")

Or… other… things.

His cheeks felt very hot all of sudden and Light refused to wonder why that was.

Or whether or not he'd ever be able to look his mother in the eye and not want to die of mortification.

Honestly.

("Do you think your mother will set up cameras in her room from now on?"

"Not everyone is like you L!"

"… … … I would buy those tapes."

"Oh my God I think I need a drink..."

"Light be sensitive, there is a former alcoholic right next to you."

"Oh shut your mouth!)

Snapping his phone shut, the tawny-eyed brunet shook his head, deliberately pushing away the burning images now scorching his mind's eye. Light honestly didn't know why L put up such a hassle over his rare nights out. He usually had someone with him (more likely than not Sayu though Light still did not understand how she managed to finagle her way into his company without him putting up too much of a fight) and he never actually went home with anyone.

Light had come to accept that even when he was broken up with the bastard L still lay claim to his behind. Though that went both ways and after the last debacle the golden-skinned ice-prince and made sure that his partner understood that.

And if L felt guilty and was much more susceptible in caving in to Light's wants after said reminding then it was all the better damn it.

Despite the bond(age) the two men now virtually accepted, there were still periods of separation that both decided were essentially needed in maintaining one's sanity (especially if your names happened to be Light Yagami and L Lawliet). After years of thunderous courtship it became a fact:

L and Light could not go through a term of six months to a whole year without at least one breakdown (or many of varying degrees depending on how badly the year was going and whether or not L's caseload was sufficient enough to keep him preoccupied).

It was frustrating but a facet of both of their personalities they could not ignore. L deemed his boyfriend a perpetual drama queen on the best of days and an overemotional psychopath on the worst of them and Light cheerfully pinned sadistic sociopath onto L as one of his favorite terms of "endearment".

But going by the creepy smile that always lingered on L's face after that particular "pet name", Light wasn't irritating L nearly as much as the raven-haired detective was Light. L wore his label like a badge of honor.

Who introduces themselves as a sociopathic dominant anyway?

("What is wrong with you?"

"Light?"

"I AM NOT YOUR DEMANDING SUBMISSIVE SO STOP TELLING PEOPLE THAT DAMN IT!"

"That's not what the online quiz said, Light…"

"ARGH.")

Obviously subtlety was not his boyfriend's (ex-boyfriend's maybe?) strong suit.

Deciding that tonight would be Mikami's night to have a good time, Light quickly maneuvered his way through the throngs of students clouding his destination, the psychology building overflowing with rambunctious young men and women hoping to run away from their own personal Hell as quickly as possible. The honey-eyed graduate student rolled his eyes in response.

And he thought getting his Bachelor's had been a hassle…


02/04/2011 – 4:11 PM

Light: You're coming out with me tonight. Meet me at my mother's apartment at 10 PM and don't you dare be late.

Mikami: Because if I had plans they obviously wouldn't be as important as Light Yagami of course…

Light: Do you?

Mikami: I said if. I'll meet you at your mommy's, don't worry.

Light: Asshole.

Mikami: Love you too ;)


Gaining entrance to the brand new club downtown after being recognized by one of the bouncers that used to work at the last hot spot Light frequented when he was younger: Eight Dollars.

Handing his coat over to the designated coat person and running off as soon as halitosis hit his face: Two dollars.

Pushing a multitude of screaming women out of the way and ordering a nice large glass filled to the brim with alcohol: Seven Dollars.

Watching Mikami attempt to pick up guys while doing his awkward-dance-routine and continually push up his glasses when he thinks said boy-toys aren't looking: Priceless.

Light almost snorted out his drink as the normally-well versed lawyer actually managed to do the robot and somehow still keep his dancing partner from laughing his ass off of the floor.

Though the stunned stupor now carved onto the younger dancer's face did not bode well for Mikami's future attempts at getting laid.

Did Light mention this was all priceless?

Before he could contemplate how many ways his platonic date could possibly get rejected Light heard the tell-tale catchy tune of his phone sweltering next to his hand prone on the table, the message tone dispersing quickly as the perpetual bass reverberated throughout the club in sporadic intervals. The name 'L' flashed continuously along with a tiny envelope.

Light thought about whether or not his night would be cut short-

("I don't need to be here you know? If you need to explode at someone then try one of your underlings for once."

"Why waste time with the paperwork when I have Light here to fulfill all of my needs here?"

"Right. See you later."

"Hmph. Sensitive today aren't we?"

"Go to Hell L!")

And pocketed the small device without even looking to see what the message said.

Some nights were meant to be enjoyed and Light really needed this one.


02/04/2011 – 11:05 PM

L: Waiting for you at home. If you're not here within an hour then I'll be seeing you in an hour and a half. Only warning you'll be getting tonight Light.


Light couldn't remember how he became entangled within the crowd but little mattered once he stepped out onto the dance-floor. Two steps became three and arms were thrown over his head; the swaying motions became outright lewd gestures against his slim hips and pelvis, the quick rhythm trampling any wilting wallflower inhibitions onto the ground and smothering them dead until the music was the victor and Light's pseudo-sexual gyrations were its spoils.

Mikami had sequestered himself into a corner awhile back with a different man than before, this one not having been privy to the shaggy-haired lawyer's awful dance moves and seemingly enthralled by the words spewing out of the older man's mouth.

The bronze-skinned tempter on the floor barely gave them a side-long glance, his attention mainly on the beat and not who his best friend was going home with tonight.

Absently Light was shocked that he hadn't been sequestered by anyone yet by the way the people around him were staring at his svelte form gliding around them, the multitude of strobe lights sliding down his figure in streams of color.

A pair of arms halted the young man's continued journey on the dance-floor, solid and unyielding. White fabric scrunched uncouthly against Light's stomach, making the crimson silk fabric of his shirt wrinkle against his abdomen.

Well there went the shock.

"What a surprise." Light rolled his eyes, not sure why he thought he could go one night without having L kidnap him halfway. "I'm being suffocated by my over-protective boyfriend."

"You did not answer my text. I gave you a time limit. You should have at least read it Light." L murmured against the shell of his ear, the thrum of his voice muffled even further by the obnoxiously loud music playing just behind them. "I believe I have given you a sufficient amount of "alone time" as they say. It is time to go home Light."

Light hid his grin with a quick turn of his head, the flurry of dark obsidian hair obscuring a majority of his face from not just L but a good portion of the club-hopping brunet. "If I didn't know any better I would have figured you were worried about me."

Knowing L was withholding the same smirk on his own face, Light maneuvered his way around until he was facing his steel-eyed lover. The heavy shadows of the club did little to make the almost skeletal detective look much better, the colored lights flashing above them emphasizing the dark shadows under L's eyes and the sharp angles of his cheekbones, nose and chin. Pale skin radiated with a sickening glow, the reaction of being within such an environment and divulging within their usual activities literally infirming the older man in an avalanche of unwanted need.

"Much more worried about myself really." Chapped lips smacked together, barely the rosy-pink shade they were accustomed to as the words slid through the slim mouth and flitted into Light's ears. "Are you ready to go home now?"

It was so easy to forget the good through the bad sometimes…

("I'm tired…"

"Then go to bed."

"Will you come with me?"

"This case…"

"…"

"… Can wait, I suppose. I'll be there in a moment.")

But Light refused to make the same mistake twice.

With a small nod and another coveted grin, the young man made his decision clear.

("Are you ready Light?"

"Yeah… Let's go home.")


Fin.