A/N#1: It might be a little confusing at first, but you have to figure out the characters n your own here. It'll all be obvious once you reach certain parts, so... read on! x)
Bang.
A scream.
"NO!"
He looked at the mounting terror on that face.
Too late…
No time for regrets…
"No…" the voice was barely heard, whimpering and broken with sobs.
No, no, no! I'm not going to give in this time… I mustn't… I've had enough!
"You…" was all he heard.
No, you. Why did you do this to me?
His heart raced with his mind. The memories were as vivid as ever… The feel of that soft auburn hair in his hands, that intoxicating scent he took in with every breath, those alluring lips and the enticing eyes… The same eyes that looked up at him now, begging, imploring…
For how long have you been doing this to me?
There was a blank stretch of silence.
How long were you planning to go on like this? What did you take me for? I can see right through you! I've always been able to… At least, I thought so……until today.
He had been suspecting it. He wasn't numb to not feel that connection between the two whenever they looked or talked to each other. He had felt pangs of jealousy, but he brushed them off. He had even asked, but all he got was…
"I don't know. What if I do?"
I don't know either. What if you do? What would I do?
He forced all of that away. He repelled those obviously longing gazes and he learned to be immune to their exchanges of words.
But he couldn't shake off the feelings forever. And today, after waiting, after taking all of this for so long… He finally found out that the truth was indeed what he had been dreading.
Oh how he wished he had never followed them here, that he had never opened that door. He shook with grief and rage at the thought of what he had seen just a few moments ago.
Both of them under the silk sheets… One his friend, one his heart's desire…
His hand clenched tighter. One move was all it would take. It would end right here.
His suffering, the unending cruelty of fate, and all the lies…
He looked into that tear-stained face. Were those tears a lie as well? How much of this was a lie?
Everything was, wasn't it?
He took it in. Unspoken things seemed to drift in the air between them. Questions unanswered and answers that were questioned.
Did you even mean anything?
Yes? No?
Lies.
Inconceivable, brutal, unforgivable… Each one was a blow that struck him hard. He didn't even realize he was crying until he felt the wet trail running down his cheeks.
He just stood there in front of that one person. Or was it his enemy now? The person who stood out in the midst of millions. The one who made him feel. The one who brought him to life and killed him at the same time.
"H-how could you?" the voice cried.
He felt cold. He felt as if he were impaled by a million spikes of icy steel.
No, how could you?After everything I did? After all the times I tried? How could you?
He was sure he had hinted it more than once or twice. He knew he had stopped being subtle a long time ago. Everyone saw. He knew that they were sickened. They thought he had lost his mind. They tried to help him, but they didn't understand…
Only you can help me.
He knew that they repulsed him. But he didn't care; he kept on going. He dropped too many clues that were impossible to remain unnoticed. And everyone saw.
Everyone but you.
…Or did you?
Everyone was sickened.
Were you as well?
But even after all that, he was never seen. He was always ignored, pushed to the side. And that made just one thing painfully clear.
You didn't want me.
He had done everything, and he had failed everything.
A crying noise and faint gasps brought him back to reality.
He tilted his head.
You're crying.
…Those eyes…
Stop looking at me like that.
"No…" the voice was soft now. The gasps were getting weaker. "NO!"
Stop.
"Don't die!" it wailed in anguish.
I said stop! Bang.
A scream.
The echo reverberated in his ears. What was it that filled him at the sight of this person? So fragile… So broken… Clinging on to something that didn't exist in this world any more…
What was this feeling? Guilt? Fulfillment? Or both?
Do you know how I feel now? To lose someone and know that you will never have the power to bring them back again?
…To be so overcome with despair? To have a heart that has been torn into shreds mercilessly, over and over again?
That's how he had felt. Ten times worse than that. Because he did everything and failed everything…
Just for you.
Wasn't that enough to make someone see? Apparently not…
You were so blind. Ever since the beginning, couldn't you see...?
He trembled again as the voice spoke to him once more.
"Why?"
Because I wanted you.
"Why did you do this?" it repeated.
Because I've waited for too long.
"I can't love you the same way!" it yelled, hoarse from emotion.
He froze.
So all this time, you had known.
"I thought you could understand!"
I thought you could understand.
"I just don't see you that way!"
Because you're blind. But I'll make you see this time. I promise.
"I'm sorry…" it was sobbing again. "I can't…I don't…"
You should! You will!
What a pitiful sight lay in front of him. A lifeless body being embraced… That was wrong.
It's dead. Gone. But I'm still here. I've always been here. Won't you embrace me?
He simply gazed at them, unable to comprehend the scene that unfolded there.
"I love you so much…" the voice whispered to the cold, still figure amid tears. That was wrong.
It's dead! Gone! But I'm still here! I've always been here! Won't you tell me that you love me?!
That was all he ever wanted, all he ever asked for. Now the way was clear. There was nothing to stop the person from coming to him now. He had done away with the last barrier.
But why aren't you coming to me yet?
He watched the body, still being held and told soft words of love. He felt disgusted. Revolted. That was wrong.
You can love a corpse but you can't love me?
He took a step forward.
"Don't come any closer," the voice said.
He took another step.
"Stay away from us!"
Us? There's only you now. And me.
He got closer and saw the blood.
Why is there blood on your hands? No, no, no. That's wrong. Come here. Come to me.
He held out his hands to give a loving embrace.
"STAY AWAY!"
…You really can't see me anymore, can you?
His hands dropped to his sides again.
You've forgotten me…. All you see is that dead thing you're holding… That dead thing…
The owner of the voice whimpered, feebly shaking the body, trying to make it alive again, so that they could be together once more.
Please, please come back… I need you…"
You need…? Oh, now I understand… I'm so sorry.
His heart softened. He felt terrible. He wanted his love to be happy.
He would give his love what it wanted.
Why didn't I realize this sooner? I'm so sorry…
His mind was decided, finally. His hand was raised.
I want you to be happy…
The amber eyes widened. The lips parted. "W-What are you doing? P-please…"
Love was something unconditional... and he realized how selfish he must have been. All along, he had been the hindrance to his love's happiness. Love must always be kept happy, but those eyes were brimming with anguish, hurt, pain, betrayal. To keep it happy, you must give it what it wants.
And what you want most is to be with her again... To be with her forever, right?
The begging words made it certain.
…so I'll give you what you want.
"N-no…"
Don't worry… You'll be together again, I'll give you your happiness…
He smiled.
Bang. Are you happy now?
Silence. He smiled.
I love you. Bang.
Silence.
--Epilogue--
The four boys were shell-shocked as they listened to the newsflash.
"This just in; death in the Hitachiin estate! Three bodies allegedly found in a room at 4 a.m. this morning, all with gunshot wounds..."
They listened listlessly. It couldn't be.
"Tama-chan?"
"Yes, Honey-sempai?"
"This isn't real, is it?"
No answer.
"Kyo-chan?"
"Yes, Honey-sempai?"
"What will happen now?"
No answer.
"Takashi…?"
No answer.
The news kept blaring from the television.
"…parents are devastated. Apparently the murderer has been through severe depression and has not been taking his medication…"
There was one question running through all their minds.
How could he do this?
A notebook was ruffled open.
"...evidently shot Fujioka Haruhi and his twin brother after finding the two in bed. Fujioka seemed to have been shot twice. There is unmistakable proof that the killer pointed the gun on himself after the murdering his brother and his friend. The family and others close to the Hitachiin do not wish to disclose details to the media pertaining to the cause of this assault."
There was silence, as the news reporter signed off. There was a small click, and the screen went blank. There was sound of many sheets of paper being ripped away from a notebook spine and torn further into smaller pieces.
"Tamaki... What are you thinking about?"
"...We all knew he was having trouble, but I never thought he would go this far."
There was a wry expression on the bespectacled boy's face. "Yes... Kaoru never did seem like a murderer, did he?"
A/N#2: Well, no one saw that coming.
Review, if you please!