SO this is possibly the darkest story i've ever written. I don't know what kinda sad mood I was in when I put it together but here it is. I think it turned out pretty good story wise considering I never write things like this. I guess I wasn't really happy with the whole, batman just letting Tim go after he got captured thing.
Reveiw anyways. I'd appreciate it very much.^^ Enjoy the story!
Disclaimer-I do not own batman or robin or any of these characters really.
Timothy Drake's eyes blazed with anger and tears as he stepped to look over the ledge of the building, his eyes glaring downward at the city far below him. He'd often watched the city from this angle. He'd spotted criminals and danger at this very spot so many times before, but that wasn't why he was here tonight. Not this time…
He stood up straight as he looked out towards where he knew the Wayne manor was, positioned all alone on that hill. He squinted in the wind as if he might be able to see it, eyes narrowing to almost nothing as the wind whipped his hair back from his puffy, red eyes. He closed them and spread his arms, imagining his relinquished cape billowing out behind him. It had once waved freely and fully, now it was just tatters of what he held now, trying not to let go of the few memories he had left to dwell over. The few thoughts that kept him going.
He leaned on his toes to look all the way down at the cement street below him. How ironic it was that this was the place, as he saw it, that his life had begun. And now it would be where it ended.
His head tilted backwards towards the clouds, damp rain pouring down and mixing with his tears, masking them in a shield of water. Batman wouldn't see him cry. He would never know until it was too late. Tim hoped bitterly without a second of doubt that Bruce would be wracked with guilt. This was his fault. It was his entire fault!
His vision blurred with fresh, hot tears till he brought himself to turn his eyes towards the bat signal flashing dimly in the dark sky. He stared at it with clenched teeth till it separated in two. One was clear and bright, like he had seen it every day for so long. The other was dim and flickering. How he imagined it now.
His fists balled up as he let out a shriek of rage, batman's betraying face looking down at him.
"This is all your fault!" he screamed into the sky. "It was all I had! Robin was all I had! And you took it from me!" He didn't know how to live without crime fighting. His own dad had been working alongside a villain. He knew what it was like, to watch from the other side as people died and begged for mercy, mercy that was never given. Mercy was what Tim wanted. He needed it. He needed Batman…Bruce… to come and find him and tell him it would be okay and that he wants him back. But he knew that couldn't happen. Batman had been sure that he was doing what was right by retiring Tim from the job as both his apprentice and his son. He didn't want him around. Not after Tim had been captured. Suddenly he wasn't good enough to be the Batman's shadow.
His shoulders trembled hard as sobs wracked his body, chattering his teeth in his skull. More quietly, his eyes squeezed shut, he whispered in the chilling air. "You're Batman! I looked up to you! Didn't that mean anything at all?"
He listened to the rain patter on the building ledge next to him. The night was eerily still around him, leaving him alone just as Bruce had wanted.
"Didn't I mean anything to you!?" He jumped back off the building ledge, pacing now and tossing everything his fingers could reach up towards the batman signal, then finally collapsing, tugging his knees up against him. He groaned. His insides felt like ice and blades. What the Joker had done to him had been nothing compared to Batman's words. It hurt. It hurt like mad. The batman signal taunted him silently, his mentor's face frowning downward at him.
"Dammit! Answer me!" He punched the building wall, slicing his knuckles up on impact. He didn't care. He didn't feel it. His entire body had gone numb from the pain. Even as blood dripped off his fingertips and onto the ground by his foot he didn't look down to wipe it away. The rain washing the cuts clean, the water turning a pinkish color, mingling with the blood to match the color of Tim's reddened eyes.
The Batman had been his mentor. His teacher. His father. Tim had loved him. He was everything. Tim was completely alone without him. And batman wanted to give him away to some guy Tim hadn't even met? Some father Bruce turned out to be…
Tim put his palm against the cold, rough wall, pushing up and walking back to the edge of the building. He wondered who would miss him once he was gone. He wondered what Dick would say. What he would do when he realized what had brought his little brother to death.
The idea of it made Tim smile. He hoped Nightwing kicked the Batman's guilt ridden butt. He hoped Batman lived long enough to know Tim had loved him more than his own life and needed his dad to go on. But Bruce had made it clear that he was no longer his parent any longer.
Breathing slower now as he stepped tilted forward on the ledge, feeling the wind pushing him with all his might the other way, trying to hold him up like Batman was supposed to do, trying to force him back onto the ledge to save his life, Tim smiled slightly, finally feeling a little peace. He didn't need the world. He didn't need anyone. He could be his own hero and he would do it without the costume.
The wind failed to hold him any longer and he tilted forward off the edge of the building, the stories rushing past his face as he did a straight dive towards the cement far below. He had done this dive before, but then, there had always been something to catch him, be it a rope or the strong arms of his mentor. Now, he fell alone and for different reasons. He wasn't saving others from villains tonight. He was saving himself from the world.
The ground drew closer and he felt no fear, only sadness as he recalled everything him and Batman had done. He would have done anything to get his dad back. Anything at all if it had been possible. He remembered Alfred, pictured his face frowning sadly, Dick his brother and Babs. All of them crying for him. He said a silent apology for them. For hurting them. Sorry that Batman had hurt him…
'You're a superhero, Bruce. You were supposed to save me. But in the end…' Tim Drake's body hit the ground with a sickening crunch, blank eyes staring without seeing up at the Batman signal far above, still looking up to his mentor even in death.
'…it was Batman that shot down his Robin.'