Kimi Dake O

Summary:

It was supposed to end when Cloud defeated Sephiroth. But instead, Cloud begins a desperate battle to resist whatever's happening to his body, breaking and forging bonds in his bid to retain his self and not become a monster. Rufus/Cloud

Full Summary:

It was supposed to end when Cloud defeated Sephiroth for good. But instead, Cloud begins a desperate battle to resist whatever's happening to his body, breaking and forging bonds in his bid to retain his self and not become a monster. If Rufus is willing to finally open his cold heart, can he be the one to stop it all? And this time, save him? Just this once? Rufus/Cloud, Cloud/Rufus-Yes, Rufus!

We ((Ryuuichi and Darksinokaru)) do not own Final Fantasy VII or any of its characters. All are property of Square Enix. There is no profit made from this creative work, only reading pleasure.

Author-Darksinokaru

Co-Author-Ryuuichi

Rating: Adult ++

Pairing: Rufus/Cloud, Cloud/Rufus

Title: Kimi Dake O Only You

1

Kimi Dake O

It was supposed to end. It was all supposed to end when he struck down Sephiroth. Peace, normality, room to breathe. Cloud was supposed to let go of his sadness and anger. But somehow the past still refused to relinquish its hold on him and his future.

The motor of Fenrir roared as the spiky haired blonde sped across the desert terrain, the deep oranges and bright yellows slowly bleeding into greens at the great speed Cloud traveled. The sky was clear and the air the usual strong humidity. Cloud gripped the handlebars and sped faster into the mountains with a trail of dust chasing after him, his urgency getting the better of him. Today was the day of his appointment, and hopefully, the day he'd get some answers.

When Cloud crossed the bridge he slowed for the winding road before coming to a stop deep up in the high mountains before Healin lodge. Gracefully dismounting, Cloud smoothly kicked the kickstand down and pulled his goggles off. Placing them into a compartment Cloud stood at the foot of the stairs, forsaking his need to arm himself.

After the triplets, Kadaj, Yazoo, and Loz Cloud managed to reconcile somewhat with Rufus, not that he was ready to be his drinking buddy or anything. But they were... Friends. Close enough that Cloud was willing to ask an extremely personal favor. Though not without hesitance, but as for resources, Rufus was the only one he could turn to.

Standing at the door the warrior hesitated before reaching forward only for the door to open and reveal Tseng. Tseng moved to the side and Cloud nodded wordlessly as he stepped through the threshold. Cloud walked over and went through the door on the right side wall from the entrance as Tseng closed and locked the front door before following in behind Cloud.

The next room was more spacious with large window doors that opened up onto a veranda overlooking the splendor of the mountains. In the middle of the wood floor room, on a large rectangular black rug sat a black leather sofa sided with two black, glass end tables topped with the usual home appliances, although of higher quality, and adjacent on bother sides were two matching recliners all oriented towards the veranda.

On the veranda Cloud saw Rufus standing and looking out, the sun glinting off of his short shiny gold hair, hands clasped behind his back, the gold lion head of his cane poking out from between his palms. After the fall of Deepground, Rufus began to make a steady recovery to once again regain his feet, and his progress so far had been miraculous, though he still required a wheelchair some as Cloud set foot on the veranda, Rufus looked over and smiled enticingly.

"Good to see you, Cloud." Cloud nodded as he walked over toward Rufus' side, well aware of the clash the two made. Rufus wore a crisp white suit and Cloud was still wearing his usual black attire.

"I'm afraid my scientists haven't been able to complete their tests yet." Rufus gave a sideways glance at Cloud.

"It's taking longer than expected because of your complications acquired through Hojo's experiments." Cloud sighed and rested his black-gloved hands on the railing.

"I need answers." Rufus nodded, raising his eyes up to the sky.

"I know. We're doing our very best... I owe you that much." It was silent a moment between the two men.

"You know Cloud, your worries could all be for naught." Cloud's hands closed into loose fists and he hung his head, gold spikes tussling softly in the breeze and drawing Rufus' gaze.

"I know by body... I know when something's wrong." Cloud muttered and Rufus looked out at the mountains again.

"If you could give me more..." Cloud sighed and turned from the railing.

"I can't explain it... It's..." Rufus nodded and Cloud fell silent.

"Phone me when you have the results." Cloud turned away from the railingand motioned toward his ear as Rufus looked over at Cloud's back as he left, walking passed Tseng, Elena, Rude and Reno, who had entered in sometime after Cloud had joined Rufus. Nothing was said, the atmosphere was too pensive and dark as Cloud's form slowly disappeared through the door.

Rufus turned to face the mountainous view. His right hand slowly moving over toward the spot where Cloud's hands had been, and gently rested down.

"Welcome back Cloud!" Tifa smiled and Cloud nodded as he walked through the bar and up the stairs toward his bedroom without a word and Tifa put both hands on her hips before shaking her head and sighing.

"I thought you were supposed to get better." She muttered before sighing and turning back toward the hot running water. Cloud was supposed to get better, and he seemed to, but then suddenly, he distanced himself again. At least he was still staying at Seventh Heaven, and he hadn't completely cut off contact with everyone, though the contact had become much more scarce than before. Tifa tried and tried to figure out what was obviously troubling Cloud, but Cloud wouldn't give anything away. And then he suddenly started taking off a lot, sometimes not coming back for a whole day or two.

Denzel and Marlene deeply missedCloud and their worries were the only ones physically voiced with eyes pleading for answers. Denzel at one point even tried to get Cloud to answer his questions, but Cloud had told him that everything was fine, making Denzel angry with him for a whole three days. Denzel calmed down a lot but he still was refusing to talk to Cloud, even if he kept asking if anything changed when Cloud was away.

Cloud closed his bedroom door and leaned heavily against it with his face cast down to the floor. This was absolute misery. Cloud was so tired, so sick of all the drama in his life. Cloud wished he could just let go, or fade away, that way he could at least find peace. Pushing from the door Cloud started to unbuckle his belts when a strange sound exploded in his head and blazed him with pain. With a choked gasped, Cloud gripped his head when the pain sliced through his head and then radiating through his body in powerful shakes that knocked him to his knees. Cloud moaned when another stab threw him down onto his stomach and his body began to shake violently. Foam began to seep up passed his parted lips and he jerked suddenly, kicking a small table and knocking a lamp over with a loud crash.

Tifa dropped a plate into the sink when she heard the loud crash and Marlene came down a second later, meeting Tifa at the base of the stairs. Marlene was almost hyperventilating with tears stinging her eyes as Tifa ran up passed her. At the top of the stairs she heard Denzel screaming for help and inside found Cloud seizing on the floor, Denzel trying to hold him down, but the confused fear in Denzel's eyes was painfully clear. Tifa ran to the landline in Cloud's room and fumbled with a number to call.

Who would know what to do? Barret? Was he the right choice? Tears poured from Tifa's eyes when she saw Cloud's cell phone on the floor and quickly snatched it up instead. It was pure chance and hope when she looked to find out who Cloud called most often, and was surprised to see Rufus Shinra's number listed as number three. The others were Vincent and then home, probably for Marlene and Denzel. Quickly calling Rufus, Tifa was sobbing.

"Cloud?"

"P-please help! Cloud's having a seizure! I don't know what to do!" Tifa cried, wiping at her eyes ferociously as she looked over at Cloud, Denzel was starting to cry and Marlene was by his side, wailing.

"I'm sending a chopper now." Rufus said quickly in a harsh, clipped tone.

"Please hurry!" Tifa begged.

"Reno and Rude are leaving now." Tifa nodded hysterically.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you so much!"

"Okay. Is he on his stomach?"

"Yes!"

"Good." Rufus sighed, his voice sounded shaky.

"Is he foaming at the mouth?"

"Yes! Is that bad?! Oh God! I know what can happen if he's not taken care of!" Tifa cried and Rufus remained silent during her hysteric rant, still accompanied by the sobbing of two young children.

"You need to find something to make sure he doesn't bite his tongue." Tifa gasped and searched around the room before quickly abandoning the search when Cloud jerked hard without control and opened his foaming mouth. She quickly stuck two fingers into his mouth and held back the sharp cry that wanted to escape when he bit her fingers. Missing two fingers was worth it if it kept Cloud safe.

"Am I hearing the children?" Tifa nodded again as she wiped hard at her eyes.

"Yes!"

"Please get them out. You can't do anything until the chopper arrives." Tifa looked at Denzel and Marlene, sniffing.

"Please go you two." Both continued to cry and not budge.

"Please! Go!" Tifa screamed and the two stared up at her in shock, watching the continuous tears stream down her face.

"Leave! Now!" Tifa cried and Denzel stood up abruptly, pulling Marlene up and after him.

"Thank you." Tifa sobbed, looking down at Cloud as she tried to use her knees to hold Cloud down. The pain in her fingers increased and a deep hiss of breath left her lips and from behind clenched teeth.

Rufus stayed on the line with Tifa from his location in a room with a computer, looking up various things on Cloud's unfinished tests and on seizures, trying to find a reason why. Time went surprisingly fast before he heard Tifa gasp at the arrival of Reno and Rude

"They're here!"

"Good. Let me talk to one of them." It was Rude's voice he heard a second later after a few seconds of exchanges.

"We've got him. We gave him the shot of Valium you told us to and he's calmed down." Rufus nodded.

"Good. Bring him back here. He needs to be tested again. That way we can keep an eye on him and medicate him when needed. Valium is only a temporary cure."

Once business was done and they managed to leave with Cloud without telling Tifa anything Cloud didn't want known, Rufus hung up and leaned back in his chair. Massaging the bridge of his nose, Rufus sighed and looked up at the clock. It hadn't seemed like it, but the whole ordeal had taken almost two hours. Leaving the small office Rufus walked out to the veranda to watch the sunset and wait for Reno and Rude's return with Cloud. The sun melted down behind the mountains, the oranges and yellows fading into a lit up blue sky with darkness lightly blanketing Healin Lodge.

The sound of the chopper drew Rufus inside and down toward the landing. Once the plane was stopped Reno and Rude quickly carried Cloud out and Rufus followed them into the clinic area. Tucked into a bed, a doctor quickly checked Cloud's vital signs and recorded Cloud's symptoms before taking the information with her to be filed.

Standing over the end of Cloud's bed, Rufus stared at Cloud's relaxed, unconscious face. He looked so peaceful right now; it was almost hard to believe that he had just had a seizure. Walking toward Cloud's right, Rufus pulled a chair up and sat down, and held his cane in front of him.

"Prepare a room up top for him, will you?" Rude and Reno nodded and left. Rufus stayed close by and only left when the nurses came in and changed him into a white hospital gown. When they were done and he was invited back inside,Rufus sat down and stared again.

"I'll find out what's wrong, that's a promise." Rufus sighed and rubbed his thumbs spiky blonde hair, his fair unblemished skin, and those long blonde lashes resting against his cheekbones… And those electric blue eyes that radiated with emotion when those eyes were open…

"I remember when you looked at me with absolute hate." Rufus looked around, as if afraid he might be heard.

"Now you look very different when you look at me…" Rufus looked down at his hands overlapped on the gold lion head of his cane.

"I wonder what it is you think of me, hm?"

Cloud fluttered his eyes open, fighting to keep them open against the harsh rays of the sun blinding him. As soon as he shifted a little he heard movement, and the room fell dim. Slowly, Cloud opened his eyes, twitching a little in surprise when he saw Rufus in a chair by him, a book suspiciously open and face down on the table.

"How do you feel?" Cloud groaned and looked around the room. It was small and foreign-not his room.

"Where am I?" Rufus pulled back from the bed, so that he wasn't hovering so close to Cloud.

"Healin Lodge." Cloud looked over at Rufus, bewildered.

"How did I get here?" Cloud struggled to sit up against the back of the bed and Rufus was standing up and gently helping him to sit up. Cloud looked down at his muscles in wonder.

"Why am I so weak?" Rufus sat down again now that Cloud seemed relatively satisfied with his seating position.

"You had a seizure." Cloud looked up at Rufus quickly.

"Do you not remember?" Cloud looked down, grasping through the haze his mind was in, trying to locate memories. And then Cloud remembered the splitting pain in his head and nodded.

"Yeah… I think I remember." Cloud muttered softly and Rufus nodded when there was a knock.

"Come in." Rufus called softly and Cloud stared at Rufus, perplexed and drawing Rufus' gaze as Tseng walked in.

"Why are you here?" Cloud asked andRufus arched a graceful brow.

"I've been here in recovery." Cloud shook his head.

"Not that. By my bedside." Rufus smiled softly, almost enticingly.

"I promised Tifa I'd keep my eye on you…" Rufus relaxed a little in his chair.

"I think your seizure is connected to what you've been talking about." Cloud nodded.

Watching over me? ….He was watching over me? For some reason that just seemed strange to Cloud. They used to be enemies after all… Perhaps he just wasn't used to them being like this, so domestic and friendly. Especially with Cloud so crippled.

Seeing that Cloud seemed to be lost in himself, he looked up at Tseng.

"What is it?" Tseng had a thin packet of papers in his hand.

"Cloud's test results." Cloud jerked his head up at Tseng and Rufus glanced out of the corner of his eye.

"My… Test results?"

Well?? We'd love to hear whatcha guys think! It'd be good to know if this fic is worth all the work involved, we also have a lot of this planned.