Disclaimer: If Axis Powers Hetalia were mine, I wouldn't need to write fanfics. If any of these songs were mine, I wouldn't be writing fanfics.

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Minimal fluff 09!

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Princess / Frog [1/3]

If you thought the story ended when the princess kissed the frog and the frog turned into a prince and married the princess…well, you were wrong.

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Consider…the princess has a brother and isn't too keen on the fact that his sister (brother) is about to marry something that recently, had been an amphibian that hopped around in pond scum. That could possible turn out to be pond scum or sea foam himself.

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Consider…the frog has a brother, who had been next in line to the throne when his brother disappeared and was about to step into the role when the brother appeared again, ready to take his spot back in the royal line.

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Then you have the other side of the story.

Feliciano coming home and telling me he finally kissed the frog and hello! The frog turned into a handsome prince that asked for his hand in marriage…well, that was enough for me to wonder just how many mushroom my little brother smoked on his way here. But it was true; my dirt-headed little twin dragged home a mutt, a jerky looking guy with greased back hair who supported the stupid story about being turned into a frog.

And then, that meant that my brother had just pressed his lips to the slimy ones of a frog not too long ago.

It wasn't a pretty image.

I didn't even know what he was talking about, really. So I pushed the blonde frog prince out of our room and demanded that idiot I'm related to tell me the whole story. I wanted to know how Feliciano found such a weird frog, how it could ever happen in anyone's wildest dreams, and to tell me he wasn't going to get married as he claimed he was.

My little brother just laughed in my face.

Apparently, without anyone noticing, my little brother had been going out to meet a frog (a frog of all things! It couldn't be anything sweet, like a bird or a kitten). I had him backtrack – how had this happened without me noticing?

So, under all our noses, Feliciano had gone to the neighboring woods to try and find some wild basil to put in some of his pasta dishes. Dangerous, I know, and he's the only one of the family who will do such a stupid thing without bringing anyone along. Like it's never crossed his mind that anyone might attack a prince or hold him for ransom or even kill him. He doesn't worry about these sort of things, so I worry for him. Anyway, he was just skipping along the path when he came across this pond thing. And something just clicked in his brain that maybe the best basil could be found in the pond.

So my brother, without so much as a second thought, started wading in a pond. A dirty, bacteria-infested pond where fish eat, sleep, shit, and have sex in. I couldn't do it; I don't know how he could. He was just getting to the part where the water was reaching past his knees when he heard someone talking to him.

Apparently, a frog was talking to him on a lily pad, and the first thing this "fateful" meeting (as Feliciano puts it) brings is the thing saying, "You shouldn't go in deeper; you'll get wet."

My brother is planning on marrying Captain Obvious!

Arg, anyway, so Feliciano strikes up a conversation with the frog, which is not surprising since he can easily talk to anyone or anything – I stumbled upon him talking to a rock in the garden, which he claimed had a butterfly sitting on top of it but damn me to hell if there was any trace of bug on that rock. They call me crazy, sometimes, but I don't know…

The frog tells Feliciano he is a prince and he was just put under a spell.

And my brother believed him.

I'm not saying there are things you shouldn't believe in. There are lots of things you can just take at face value. I mean, you wouldn't have religion and trust and everything. So I'm not saying that you shouldn't believe things people tell you. But of all things, he believes a talking frog.

Whatever.

Feliciano says the frog wasn't very talkative the first time they spoke and he had been practically talking to himself as he dried himself out on the shore. It was getting dark, so my brother came back to the palace, but then, here's the kicker, he went back to talk to the frog for days. Weeks. I admit, this is negligence on my part; if I did my duty as an older brother monitor and protect him, he would not have slipped off into the forest alone to meet with a frog.

And then (this is the part where Feliciano starts squealing and becoming incomprehensible), the frog finally tells him that the witch that put a spell on him told him a kiss from his one true love would reverse the spell and turn him back to the prince he was. By now, Feliciano had implanted the notion in his head that he was indeed very much in love with this frog prince. So what does my brother do? Instead of thinking things over, consulting with me, or with anyone for that matter, he plucks the frog from the pond and plants one on those froggy lips (bleh!)! And then with a poof and a huge burst of smoke, there is a man standing over him in place of the frog!

Therefore, the blonde man, who Feliciano calls Ludwig. Prince Ludwig, from a few kingdoms next door. I personally have heard nothing of this prince, which either means he is nothing extraordinary, or he at least isn't infamous. But please. Any prince that allows himself to be caught and cursed by a witch is not worth the trouble. I tell Feliciano so, but my happy little brother says it doesn't matter, because it's fate, and he's in love.

What can one do if Feliciano is in love!

So here we are, weeks before this big wedding ceremony. Oh, Grandpa Roma was thrilled; I think he'd be thrilled if Feliciano told him he was going to streak through the kingdom for an artistic purpose. Actually, I think Roma wouldn't even care if Feliciano streaked for no good reason. My grandpa loves him like that. I don't care. That old man's so weird, I don't mind if he favors my brother over me.

Actually I do.

I'm very pissed when I think about it.

Right, back to the pre-marital things. Ugh, do I really need to talk about them? Is it really just me who thinks Ludwig should just go back where he comes from? I don't know if he loves my brother or not; all he does is just stand there and act awkward, but he hasn't called the whole ruse off yet. Then again, you really have to love Feliciano to put up with him day and night like I do. And Feliciano is getting quite annoying right now.

One day, it's the flower arrangements. The next is the color theme. The next is if there should be an orchestra or not. The next is if it should be held outdoors, or indoors, and if it were outdoors, which part of the grounds? Indoors, which room? He's gotten all the servants in a tizzy with his requests and ideas and he's just jotting them all down in his little sketchbooks, showing me all his drawings of his dream wedding.

Did I say Feliciano can draw better than me?

I get pissed off about that too.

Goddammit.

I love my brother, and he loves me, and he's very thickheaded and dense, but I think even he can sense my disapproval about the whole thing. He doesn't go to me all the time anymore with his ideas because he knows I'll shoot them all down. I don't mind; I really don't want to hear the difference between royal lavender and lavender haze (honestly, those colors are the same! I'm partially an artist too, and I know they're the same!).

I just don't want Feliciano to get married. I know I'm selfish but I don't like Ludwig and I don't like how he's just inserted himself into our lives. He hasn't done anything mean to me or said anything weird, but he's just a stranger and he doesn't belong here. I want him to just go away.

Romano, you say, why can't you just be happy for your brother?

Being happy for Feliciano and looking out for Feliciano are completely different things.

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The very worst thing I have ever heard in my life happened a few days ago. And not a lot of things happen that really get me down. I mean, I'm so awesome. Awesome doesn't get hung over little things. Germania says this is why I wasn't first in line although I was older, but screw that. I don't like conforming to old people ways.

So about that…the worst thing ever! I heard that my missing younger brother, Ludwig, was found, safe and sound, in the Italia kingdom.

Don't get me wrong. I don't hate Ludwig or anything. Awesome doesn't hold petty grudges either. I mean, duh. And he's my brother! Who would hate their own sibling? I would know, I'm so awesome. But I really didn't want to hear this.

I mean, I didn't want to hear he was dead either, but just not existing near me. He could float somewhere between missing and presumed dead. Or just alive and…you know…not here. Not close enough to the Deutsch kingdom.

Because, I'll have you know, I was this close to being king. This close. I'm always this close for so many things, and I honestly think I was going to get it. But then my brother, next in line, is discovered and I'm just blown aside.

Maybe I should explain. I wouldn't expect such awesome to penetrate and for you to understand immediately.

My grandpa Germania took me and my little brother Ludwig under his wing when we were still tots. Me, the older and far more awesome than my brother, I, Gilbert, was scheduled to rule when the inevitable death of that old man came about. I mean, that's what everyone told me and everyone knows the oldest gets first dibs. Well, at first, Germania didn't really teach us anything and wanted us to live in the palace. I didn't really get this, cause I thought he was supposed to teach us how to rule, but I guess he thought I was so awesome he didn't need to teach me anything. I spread my awesomeness around like jam on a biscuit.

Then, out of the blue, Germania told us that from his observations, Ludwig was going to be the next in line to the throne and I would be behind him. Imagine that! Such awesomeness like me seconded by my little uptight of a brother!

Ludwig knew how much I wanted to be king, but only an idiot would give up his spot. Even if he gave it up for me, I wouldn't have taken it.

Well, maybe I would have.

Whatever! Anyway, so that was that. I was marked behind my little brother because apparently I was too wild and stubborn and disobedient and all sorts of adjectives that were unsightly for a king. Hey, if I knew that old man liked people who sat and read over burning plants in the yard with a looking glass, I would definitely have stopped. Sometimes you have to kiss ass to get what you want. I'm so awesome it wouldn't affect me in a bad way.

I was sore about it. You can ask anyone. But I won't kill Ludwig myself. That's just not cool. And people would try and kill me if I got the throne. Assassinations aren't awesome, if they involve your own family.

But it wasn't me who put thistles in his bed.

It wasn't me who was throwing things at him from the roof when Germania taught him how to fight outside.

It wasn't me who wrote 'You're a doofus' all over his history essay (the only good thing about not being first in line is that you don't have to sit in classes with boring tutors that teach you things you don't want to learn!).

I mean, I got over it.

And then he disappeared. He had gone out for one thing or another and he didn't come back. We sent out search teams for days. Weeks. Everyone was concerned and hoping for his safety. Myself, I was kinda missing the guy. Even if he was a bit of a neat freak, he was my brother and I missed bothering him.

And then Germania pulled me aside and told me if we never ended up finding Ludwig, he trusted I could easily pick up the reins and become king in his place.

Not to say that I totally forgot my brother at that point, but…let's say I wasn't really keen on him coming back any time soon.

And let me tell you, Germania is getting old.

They were going to coronate me three days later if Ludwig hadn't shown up! Me! Awesome me! But now Ludwig was back, they all were getting ready to welcome back their new king! I was just next in line, and let's face it; Ludwig is younger than me, and I'm sure he's going to outlive me. I would never become king in this lifetime. So I was kind of pissed about this.

It's like someone offering you the chance to become king and then jerking it away.

Wait, that's my life!

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So the days leading up to the damned wedding…Roma was acting like the typical doting mother. He said Feliciano had to wear a dress or the whole thing would be off center. And Feliciano likes wearing dresses anyway. He had a white lacy thing picked out already. I'm not saying I like Ludwig now, or can stand the fact he's getting hitched to my brother, but when Ludwig said that Feliciano wearing a dress was too weird, I kind of agreed with him.

But Feliciano's wearing the dress anyway.

No one wants to listen to me, so I've given up trying. Let Feliciano marry the bastard. I'm going to have nothing to do with it. Especially not if Feliciano is trying to find me, stupid dress in hand, insisting that I play the maid of honor. I swear, I don't think that brother of mine really comprehends that this is a wedding ceremony, not a dress up party. Nothing goes through that thick skull of his.

Did I mention I really hate Ludwig?

Anyway, a carriage appeared at the front gates all of a sudden and there were convoys from Deutsch kingdom to check on Ludwig's welfare and attend the wedding. I watched them from a window on the second floor. Feliciano greeted them like he was already married and this was his extended family. The people from Deutsch are so weird. They salute and do manly things as greetings. I think one of them nearly had a heart attack when Feliciano hugged him.

There's this albino guy that's sort of wandering around the grounds aimlessly. I don't know how he got in, but it can't be good. He's got this bad look in his eyes, like he wants to burn the place down or something. No one's said anything, so I assume he's part of the Deutsch mob that's taken over the palace. Apparently, they want to help with the wedding and all they're doing is cleaning the place.

I saw him coming up the hallway toward me and it was too late to duck into a room or turn the other way.

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So I have to give it to Ludwig; to find a marriage prospect in Italia. I kind of like the place. It's really sunny and happy. It's kind of gloomy and rigid in Deutsch. No one really expects me to do anything, so I won't. I'm cool with my brother getting married, but I'm not cool with the fact that he's there, so I'll pretend I'm just here for show. I'm awesome enough.

I saw Feliciano in the hallway and I was kind of surprised he wasn't hanging around Ludwig. Lately, it seems that they come as a package deal. I've never seen one without the other. I thought this was kind of weird. "Hey, Feliciano! Where's Ludwig?"

Feliciano gave me this look that could melt fire. "I'm not Feliciano. I'm his twin brother, Romano. Remember that, bastard."

Well excuse me! I didn't live in the place! How could I have known? "That's kind of mean to say to your future brother in law," I said.

He gave me the one-over and obviously was not impressed, which I don't understand, seeing that I'm so awesome and great. "You're that kraut's brother? Why am I not surprised? The two of you radiate grossness to the level that I can't even stand looking at you." He was trying to walk away, but no one insults me and just walks away! So I followed him, as anyone would.

"You don't like Ludwig?"

"No. I hate him."

"Why?" The only one allowed to actually hate Ludwig is me. Otherwise, I'm kind of protective when it comes to my brother. This is madness.

Romano looks at me like I'm below his intellect. "In case you didn't know, he was a frog before my brother saved him. I don't approve of my brother marrying frogs. Not to mention he's such an anal freak. He doesn't belong here. He should go back to the pond where he came from." Romano sort of turns away from me, indignant like he's expecting me to refute that so he can swear at me.

"I sort of don't like my brother either." I didn't mean to say that. It just slipped out. But Romano turns to me, sort of surprised, and without the frown and glare, he kind of looks cute like Feliciano.

"Did you just say that?"

"I did." Awesome doesn't take back anything. "You think it's hard on you, but I wasn't too great about hearing he was back."

"How can you say that about your own brother?" Yeah, looking at it that way, I could see Romano would basically do anything for his twin. They're sort of priceless for that. I chuckled.

"Well, it doesn't seem to be a problem with you," I say, "but before he was discovered, I was supposed to be king. He was first in line before he was whisked away." I had heard of the frog story, but I was skeptical about it myself, but Ludwig confirmed it, so it had to be true. "And since we didn't know if he was coming back, they were going to crown me, but then your brother turned him back and now I'm back in the useless pot."

Romano looks at me like he just saw me. "So you don't like this either."

"No, I don't."

I think we've reached a mutual understanding. At least, he doesn't look like he wants to eat my head off anymore. That's good.

And that was when the idea popped in my head. It was a bad idea. It was a rotten plot. But it was so good. I couldn't help it. And I found someone who shared the same (or almost the same) sediments as I did. I sort of stopped in the middle of the hallway, stuck by my brilliance. I think it was a good sign Romano stopped too and turned to look at me. It was now or never.

"I think we should go find the witch and make her turn him back into a frog."

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to be continued

Note: The fact that no one questions the existence of a talking frog is proof enough that this is Hetalia world. I sort of was excited they were finally including more races in Disney movies, what with the new Princess and the Frog movie coming out. So this popped into my mind. Not the first I try a threeshot or a fairy tale parody. I hope you like. Enough to keep reading, at least. Review, please.