Fever Dream

Dedicated to my friend and partner in crime Viedyn. Ultra special thanks to her for beta reading and I must apologise to her for my load of errors. Bad author! Bad!

~*~

She was running; that was her only goal, to just keep running. To get away. Avoid the water, avoid the water. Her breath came out in harsh gasps and her lungs ached. Where was her lightsabre? Carefully, carefully along the cliff top – she did not want to fall – and avoid the water at all costs. Yet no matter how gracefully she stepped, no matter how nimbly her feet moved, the ground beneath her began to crack, began to simply fall away. And then she was falling, falling down to the deadly water, her heart racing as she grasped for a handhold in vain. She hit the water with a splash, arms flailing, a scream unwillingly torn from her mouth as the fang-filled mouth of an Acklay surged down to meet her.

"Barriss? Barriss! Wake up, you must wake up!"

With a gasp Barriss shot upwards from her pillow, chest heaving, and the warm hands shaking her withdrew. She was not being eaten by an Acklay – that was just a dream. She was home in the Jedi Temple – with Luminara.

The Miralan turned to look sheepishly at her former Master, biting her lip. "Sorry. Just a nightmare." Her eyes darted to the chrono and she blushed. It was quite late, or early, depending on how one looked at it. "Sorry," she repeated, wincing.

Luminara shook her head and looked warmly at the other woman. "We may be Jedi but we are still people. Bad dreams are nothing to be ashamed of. She scooted across the bed and reached out to the younger woman, rubbing comforting patterns on Barriss' bare back. "Would meditating on your dream help?" Luminara asked after a few moments of silence and increased the pressure, kneading and soothing the tense muscles. Barriss groaned and let her head rest upon the Master's shoulder, eyes fluttering shut.

"That feels so good, thank you," she murmured, neatly side-stepping the question. Luminara simply smiled and waited.

Bitting her lip, Barriss raised her head and Luminara let her hands still, waiting expectantly. "It was…the nightmare was about an acklay and the mission to Vendaxa. I was running along the cliff, without my lightsabre, and then I was falling down to one of the beasts." Barriss flushed and avoided her former Master's eyes. "I shouldn't still be thinking about it, the dream or the mission, but…It just comes to mind at times," she sighed and ran her fingers through her hair as Luminara looked on sympathetically. "Some Jedi I am."

"Dreams pass in time," Luminara replied but she couldn't stop her eyes from drifting to the thin scar that ran along a third of Barriss' stomach. She traced it with one finger and Barriss shivered beneath her touch. Raising her head, the Knight met the other Mirialan's gaze and her heart twisted at the pained look on Luminara's face. Apart from her shameful terror the one other thing Barriss remembered clearly from the Vendaxa mission was the helplessness and fear that she felt from Luminara as her Master hurried to get to her.

The Jedi Master shook her head sadly as she realised what Barriss was remembering. "If anyone should be ashamed of feeling fear on Vendaxa it should be me. I remember one moment you were beside me as we ran along the cliff, desperate to reach the holocron in time, and then suddenly you were falling and I…I could not do anything. Just watch as it all happened. I can not say how relieved I was I found you on the shore line." Luminara pressed her lips to the scar's end and Barriss'hands grasped her long black hair as she arched into the gentle touch.

"I take comfort in the fact that not all injuries and illnesses lead to such bad dreams," Barriss said breathlessly as Luminara mapped the scar's length with her lips. The other woman drew back and kissed her former Padawan's forehead as they remembered the mission where the two Jedi's feelings for each other were revealed.

Their second last assignment before the Clone Wars had nearly been scrubbed part way through when Barriss had come down with the local flu and had been rendered delirious due to fever for several days. Although the former Padawan could remember feeling incredibly weak and being unable to move as life had passed about her like a haze, it had been the best moment of her life. She had forgotten the Jedi, forgotten the Code and could only remember her forbidden and conflicted love for Luminara, something she had inevitably let slip to Master in the thralls of fever.

Her old Master's face shone at the shared memory and she lowered her face to Barriss' neck, nuzzling at the soft skin there, her words nearly lost to the Knight's gasp of surprise and pleasure.

"I could not believe what you had said…nor could I believe that I had not felt alone. It had seemed so…wrong, breaking about every rule in the Order…And you, so young and beautiful, by the Force, you were half my age, but I was so…happy as it just felt…right." Luminara brushed her lips against Barriss' collar bone whilst speaking and the younger woman felt somewhat annoyed that the older woman could manage to think so clearly. The other Jedi at that point would have been hard pressed to form an intelligent sentence.

"Jedi are growing more and more arrogant, so maybe this is not weakness or failing or even wrong but…change. Simply change in the Order." Luminara broke away and laughed a little bitterly. "I think I know why I have not been appointed to the Council yet, especially if this is how I teach my Padawans."

Barriss giggled at that, knowing that Luminara loved to hear her laugh. "I hope I am merely a special case and that your previous Padawan never enjoyed this preferential treatment."

"Never. Only you Barriss, of course. No, my first student and I never willingly broke the Jedi Code at every opportunity."

"I know. And about the breaking, but it is just so much fun, is it not?"

Barriss applauded herself silently when Luminara laughed this time; she felt a certain thrill to know she was the only one to see the great Master Unduli like this, so relaxed, her calm abandoned.

"There is some enjoyment in it and this is better. Dream forgotten now?" Luminara asked after she got her giggles under control.

"Yes, although there was something I meant to talk to you about…Something that could give me even worse nightmares. What is this about you confronting Ventress by yourself?"

Luminara looked away for a moment and drew the sheet around her, eyes fixing on her hands in her lap. "I…forgot. I was so used to having you by my side, augmenting my abilities…being a part of me." She looked up at Barriss and the other Jedi was struck by the sudden sadness she saw there. "I miss you out there on the field…with me…and I haven't quite been able to balance myself yet."

Barriss' eyes widened and this time it was she who scooted across the bed, a hand coming up to caress her former Master's cheek. "I know what you mean. I truly do not know how I will adjust to having a Padawan of my own on Felucia. I miss you, in combat, during space travel, during the trivial walking from place to place." Barriss' thumb began to idly stroke the tattoo pattern on Luminara's chin as she spoke and she leaned forward to trace a perfect triangle with her tongue before kissing the marked skin so like her own pattern. Officially, she had chosen her design to honour her Master…and unofficially as a sign of her love for Luminara.

The Jedi Master gasped under Barriss' ministrations, one hand curling tightly around the sheets draped over them, and her head slipped backwards to pillow on Barriss' chest. "I missed you too…or have I said that already?" Luminara asked and Barriss smiled, her fingers playing with the other Mirialan's sleek hair.

"Thank the Force we have this two day cross over before we leave again. It…it has been too long, far too long, since we last met." The Knight murmured, sinking backwards onto the pillows of the sleep couch and drawing Luminara with her.

"Indeed. Too long, Illum was the last time we were together. And…" Luminara hesitated a moment and Barriss frowned, curious. "I did not have a chance to give you this." Luminara reached an arm out and picked up a pouch sitting on her couch side table. "I got this on Ansion, our last mission before the War. In all the confusion, I haven't had a chance to give it to you. As an unorthodox and forbidden gesture, it seems rather appropriate. It's the necklace with pikach stones. You were looking at it on Ansion"

Barriss opened the pouch carefully, as though it was made of glass, and slowly drew out the piece of jewellery, her memories of lessons forbidding accessories firmly banished to the back of her mind. Luminara smiled at the reverence with which Barriss regarded her present. "I had been going to give it to you during your knighting ceremony but…" Luminara trailed off before sitting up and taking the necklace, carefully setting it around the other Jedi's neck. She did up the clasp and kissed the bare skin of Barriss' neck, deeply breathing in the unique, sweet scent that was her lover.

"Luminara…Thank you," Barriss grasped for the older woman's hand as she spoke, squeezing it gently. Luminara squeezed back as her lips found Barriss' and she tried to spell out every fibre of love she felt in her being for her former student in the kiss. The couch's sheet was the only thing between them as she enveloped the second Mirialan, her arms circling around the younger body before her. Barriss let out a throaty gasp and clung tighter to the other Jedi, one hand coming up to stroke through her lover's hair as Luminara gently pushed Barriss down to the pillow, sprawling on top of the Knight. She gently broke away and for a moment the sound of their heavy breathing was all that punctuated the silence of the room as the two gazed at each other.

"No, thank you," Luminara murmured, but to Barriss the quiet words held as much impact as if they had been shouted from the rooftops of the Temple.

~*~

This was written as both Jedi always intrigued me as characters and also because of their striking appearance. The expanded universe goes on about how physically in sync they are and one day, while I was ruing the lack of femslash in Star Wars, the pairing came to me. I know I'm probably gonna get flamed, but hey, it was fun and my beta reader likes it! :)

There are various minor references to the Star Wars expanded universe media including the novels; Approaching Storm and the Medstar duo, as well as the 2009 Clone Wars television series and the Evasive Action webstrips. For those who wish to know, the necklace is one Barriss looked at on Ansion at the market early in The Apporaching Storm and Barriss' Padawan appears in the Evasive Action webstrips while Luminara engaging Ventress is depicted in the 2009 Clone Wars cartoon.. The Vendaxa mission as well as the mission where Barriss falls ills are products of my imagination. Oh, and Lucas owns Star Wars, not I.