Title: The Crossroads Conundrum

Part 15: Sheldon and Penny

Author: she_burns1

Pairing: Sheldon/Penny, Leonard/Penny

Rating: PG-13

Word Count: 4,805

Summary: Future!fic! Sheldon, Penny, and Leonard all thought they knew exactly what they wanted, but with a big change on the way, all three begin to question themselves, and each of them is lead in a direction they had not anticipated.

Disclaimer: All recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The plot is all mine. No copyright infringement is intended

True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. - Erich Segal

Sheldon knew it was probably a mistake to call his Meemaw, but it had been so long since he had last talked to her and he didn't want her to worry. The moment he got on the phone he realized his error, as she tore him up one side and down the other for getting so many people so worked up over his disappearance.

He calmly explained that he had left a perfectly detailed note for Leonard and that his friend should not have gotten everyone so distressed. He also pointed out (quite smoothly) that he was back in the area, only one town over from Pasadena in a rather nice hotel.

"Well, I better give your Mama a call. Her knees are probably bleeding from being on the floor so long, prayin' to Jesus for you to be safe," Meemaw grumbled and Sheldon pouted at her tone.

"It was not my intention to upset anyone," he said simply, "I just...I just needed some time."

"Well, next time you need some time, you better call me first," she said sharply, "Honestly, Moonpie, used to be a time you would come to me for everything."

Sheldon's jaw worked and he rubbed at his forehead, "I know, I know."

"There's nothing in this world that would make me love you less," she said softly, "You understand that, don't you?"

"I do," he returned, voice just as low. He wondered how much that was true. How true could it be, considering his recent transgressions? If Meemaw knew of them...

But she didn't, and, even despite her harsh tone, her affection for him was obvious as she wrapped up the phone conversation, telling him she loved him and that she would talk to him soon. Once she was gone, Sheldon went about wasting time.

He knew eventually he'd have to go home, but for now, for just today, he decided to take a break from his situation. He got himself something to eat, he watched some television, he worked in his notebook and time slowly crawled by, seconds sinking into minutes, minutes dissolving into hours until finally he sat on his bed and, sighing, found himself leafing once more through the postcards he had written.

He inspected each one, then, putting them aside, he got to his feet and looked out the window. It was almost dark outside, the sun setting, the room washed in golden amber light and he felt restless and unhinged and the feeling did not suit him. He wished everything was just over - the explanations, the awkwardness - all that awaited him when he got home.

It's your own fault, a voice in his mind whispered to him and he waved a hand in the air, batting at it like some invisible gnat.

Maybe that was true - maybe it was his fault, but what else could he have done? And Penny...she had to take some blame, putting him in this position, making him feel this way...

And that's when he heard the knocks.

They were tentative, but they were still in the rhythmic pattern. One. Two Three.

Knock.

Knock.

Knock.

He waited with baited breath and then her voice was there.

"Sheldon?"

He looked at the closed door of his hotel room as if it were a foreign element. He stood, rooted to the spot, heart in his throat, eyes wide and wondered what he should do, what his next move should be.

Knock.

Knock.

Knock.

"...Sheldon?"

He swallowed, running a hand over his face, fingers clenching and unclenching. Taking in a deep breath, he walked to the door. He held the doorknob - the cold metal almost searing his hand. He wanted to rest his forehead to the cool wood of the door, almost overcome with an inexplicable exhaustion.

He turned the knob and opened the door.

88888888888

The moment Penny had answered the phone and Missy had told her where Sheldon was, she had dropped everything. Sheldon had finally broken down, he had called his Meemaw and the moment he had gotten off the phone with her it had all just gone down the line. Meemaw to Sheldon's mom to Missy to Penny.

Part of Penny wanted to call Howard or Raj or even Leonard but Missy, once more using her wicked intuition, told her not to do it, stating within her call to Penny that she would inform Raj and he would tell the boys.

Penny had wanted to tease Missy about Raj and where that was going but there was just no time. They had found Sheldon, she had found Sheldon, and she just had to get to him - her feet, her car, none of it was going fast enough.

And before she knew it, it all seemed too fast, brakes screeching, everything slamming together with a resounding magnitude as she entered the hotel where he was staying.

Her heart was a vicious animal trying to claw its way out of her chest as she went to the front desk and asked for him. The clerk, a sweet faced girl, shook her head, "Normally we don't give this sort of information out, but his grandmother called, and she was such a dear - not to mention my boss is sort of eager for him to leave. His demands are...a bit demanding."

"Yeah, yeah...that's...that's Sheldon," Penny said mildly, finding speech difficult, her nerves on edge. Once she got the room information she entered the elevator and tried to calm herself.

It was a nigh impossible task though, her feet pacing back and forth, her hands rubbing at her arms, eyes inexplicably watering all ready. Sheldon, Sheldon, Sheldon. She was almost there. She was almost at that moment where she was going to see him again.

The elevator dinged as it reached the appropriate floor and the sound seemed almost deafening as she exited and walked towards his room. She stood there, outside the door, breathless, palms sweating and raised her hand to knock.

Was she ready for this?

It seemed so silly. So much pressure behind something so simple, but then again, nothing was ever simple with Sheldon.

She closed her eyes for a moment and his face came to her mind as it had looked back in the laundry room, what felt like, oh, so long ago. His face expressionless, his blue eyes pinning her down and then his mouth, his mouth, just barely on hers, not drawing away, just waiting...

She lifted her hand and knocked. She knocked as they had always knocked and she said his name - said it in a timid tone, but with something else, an undercurrent of the same feeling she had had that day in the laundry room.

Warm heat and the smell of fabric softener and...

He didn't answer. She tried again. She didn't move. she could just feel it. He was there, right there, on the other side of that door. Right there, waiting, waiting just as he had been that day, waiting for her to come that little bit closer...

The door opened.

88888888888

For a moment, Sheldon was blinded by white.

Penny stood there in his hallway, glowing white and for an instant, she was in her wedding gown, looking the picture perfect version of an ethereal princess on her big day, skirts billowing, snowy white and sparkling.

Then the moment was over and he saw her how she really was - wearing a simple, short sleeved white shirt, just that little v-neck to show some skin and regular old jeans. She was just herself. Just Penny - simple, no frills, no fuss, no muss. Just Penny.

She looked at him and he was not 'just' Sheldon. He was different. He looked like a stranger to her. His eyes sort of red-rimmed, his hair sticking up in some places. Oh sure, he had on some black shirt with a robot or something, waffled gray thermal underneath and plain pants but - past that...it was...the air about him was different, almost...

Defeated.

She realized that's what it was, this was how he seemed different. He projected this beaten down, muted sort of atmosphere - as if he just couldn't take anymore. And her heart ached with it. She looked at him, at a loss for what to say. There was so much, too much, and she didn't know where to begin.

Thankfully, he wasn't too drastically changed, as he was the first, as ever, to speak, "Penny."

She found her voice, "Sheldon."

They settled on silence again. Penny shifted her weight from foot to foot, her eyes not quite meeting his, "May I come in?"

He stepped back from the entrance and gave a tiny nod. She entered his room and he shut the door quietly behind her. She looked around his room. It was your average hotel room - nothing special. And yet her blood seemed to be rushing through her system worse than ever, the sound of it pounding in her ears and she looked around, wondering where to sit or where to stand and still what to say, what to say.

He walked over to the bed and sat on the edge of it and she would have expected him to take a stiff posture, back ramrod straight but, again, he was so, so different. Sheldon sat and he was sort of hunched, elbows on his knees, head slightly down and she felt awful seeing him like this.

It was as if he was a proud, wild animal that had been beaten into submission. She felt a hand rise up, but to do what she did not know, so it fell and she swallowed thickly.

At last he spoke, "Penny, I wish to apologize to you and Leonard. It was not my intention to cause either of you any undue stress."

Penny blinked, the only words she could find were a soft, "Okay."

"I am aware that it was, perhaps, selfish of me, to do what I did in the face of your upcoming nuptials, but," he paused here, struggling for but a minute before continuing, "It seemed the best course of action at the time."

"I...understand."

Sheldon scoffed at that, the word 'hardly' right at the tip of his tongue, but he did not say it, instead offering, "I am aware of what trouble I have caused, due only in part to my discussions with my Meemaw. Your presence here would suggest you have spoken to her, as only she knew where I was."

"Actually, it came from Missy, she got it from your Mom, who-"

"Ah, yes, the feminine familial chain of communication, it comes to my attention that it is, indeed, quite efficient."

Penny had nothing to add to that.

Sheldon took in a deep breath, "I imagine Leonard will be along any moment to-"

"No, he won't," Penny said quietly and finally, finally, Sheldon looked at her. And it was almost painful. Right then, she could really see how much of a toll everything had taken on him, his eyes, his eyes, so shocked and kind of sad and it just...

She shook her head and looked away from those eyes, her fingers fidgeting with her hair and her clothes, "He's not coming."

Sheldon seemed almost like a bird then, head sort of bobbing as he digested this, and, thanks to his distraction, she took a seat next to him. He finally spoke, "Is he...does he not want to..."

Penny could sense the turmoil building with him, the tension, at the idea of his friend being so mad at him he refused to come, but she quickly dispelled the fear, "Leonard can't come. I'm sure he knows you're here by now, but he's not in town anymore."

"But...I made sure to be back in time! The wedding..."

"There's not going to be a wedding," she said, her eyes on her knees, "Leonard and I...it's over."

She could hear Sheldon swallow and then he whispered, voice close to inaudible, "Is it my fault?"

She shook her head, blinking rapidly to chase away any tears, "No. No. It's nobody's fault."

Sheldon just nodded then, the movement shaky and unreliable and the silence descended on them once more. They both looked at anything but one another and yet Penny was surprised to find that, deep inside, she felt comforted.

In fact, she felt more comforted than she could remember feeling in a long time. She felt...complete.

She didn't know what that meant. Everything around her was broken and terrible and yet...part of her...part of her, felt like smiling. It was like when a big thunderstorm was raging overhead but there was just that tiny peek in the clouds, the tiniest sliver of sunlight escaping out to kiss the ground.

Sheldon must have felt something similar, or, at least, something that brought him closer to a semblance of the Sheldon she knew, as he said smartly, "I met a lot of people while I was gone. In fact, the train I traveled on seemed to be full of after-school special rejects who offered me all sorts of advice and other homespun flimflam."

Penny smirked, "Oh, really?"

He nodded, then, clearing his throat, "In fact, one of them encouraged me to use these..."

He rose to his feet to retrieve something and when he returned and sat back down next to her, easing a little closer, she found herself blushing, because yes, yes, it was strange he was so close, but then, he was himself but he was somehow not himself. He was more than that, he was different, he was...

What was that word they were all so fond of?

Evolved.

He was evolved.

He wasn't the same Sheldon she had first known. He wasn't the same man who couldn't comprehend sarcasm and couldn't fathom life with a girl around. He was like her, even if in a small way, in that time had passed and they had both grown. They were adults.

It wasn't as if they had been children when they had met, but things had certainly seemed different then. More lighthearted and silly and made of canned laughter. But now, things were more serious and to the point, and she blinked when she realized out of nowhere and for no particular reason. that he actually also smelled good. Clean. Like warm soap. Her blush got worse.

Sheldon handed her the postcards and she looked at them. They were very pretty, very old - the antique art on the front of one of them had two cats dressed up for a wedding and she turned it over only to find bizarre scribblings she could not even begin to understand.

Her confusion must have shown on her face, because Sheldon began to explain to her patiently, as if she were a small child, "This is a rather simple mathematical equation I thought would be useful. I have a more...personal one written on this one here," he casually handed her another card, this one decorated with pretty flowers but, once again, the back was covered in numbers and letters that held no meaning for her.

"Sheldon...I'm sorry, but...I don't have any idea what any of these mean."

Sheldon looked miffed and seemed prepared to snatch them back from her, but she drew them close, "Hey, hey! Doesn't...doesn't mean I don't want them," she bit her bottom lip, "I mean...if they're for me."

"Of course they're for you!" he snapped, sounding more and more like his old self, "I used the 'P' to represent you! And Leonard and I are represented by-" Sheldon's words instantly dried up as Penny's eyes met his and suddenly she understood. Very clearly. This was Sheldon's odd way of communicating how he felt. These mathematical equations were his feelings.

She looked at them again, now with a keener eye, and, while she couldn't understand the true meaning, she understood the purpose, and was touched by it. This was Sheldon...trying to explain things, even how he felt - through science and numbers.

She hugged the cards to her, "Thank you, Sheldon."

He gave her a curt nod and she cleared her throat, shifting about where she sat, "So..." The words trailed off as she tried to figure out what exactly she wanted to say, tried to find her footing in the conversation that was about to take place, she chose a strange way to start, "Sheldon...do you like analogies?"

"Not necessarily. But if they have some solidarity in fact-"

"Okay, well," she interrupted him, not caring if it annoyed him, just wanting to get on with it, "You know how if you bump into a record player it will knock the needle off the record and cause the record to wobble and scratch and just...not be right?"

Sheldon raised an eyebrow, "I suppose."

She sighed, hating the analogy herself now, but just continuing with it, "Well, the only way to fix the record is to take it off the player and put it back on. That way it can pick up where it left off and be itself again."

"Penny, does this have a point?"

"Lord, I hope so," she muttered, scratching her forehead, then looking at him, she gave a weak smile, "Look, what I'm trying to say is...you're the record and I'm...you know...the one who knocked your needle out of place."

Sheldon looked slightly alarmed, "Is this a sexual reference?"

"What?"

"It sounds like something Wolowitz might say. An innuendo."

"No, no, it's not," Penny moaned, closing her eyes, head falling back in exasperation, "I'm mucking this up! I'm just trying to say you haven't been yourself since that night in the laundry room when we...when I...when you..."

"When we kissed." He said and for once, she was thankful for his directness. She opened her eyes and looked at him, nodding, "Yes, yes. Thank you. That."

"You said you were sorry."

Penny blinked, confused, not remembering this and he said it again, "You said you were sorry. As if," he shook his head, concluding, "It was a mistake."

"Maybe...maybe it wasn't." she returned faintly, looking at him expectantly. His eyes met hers and it was there again, that light, jittery nervous feeling she had felt that day in the laundry room, the one that had motivated her towards him and maybe, had motivated him towards her.

That irresistible, invisible string that drew them closer and closer together and Penny found herself saying, "Sheldon, you haven't been yourself...I haven't been...maybe, maybe if we finish what we started...maybe if-"

And then Sheldon Cooper did something that took himself, and Penny, completely by surprise.

He gently took both of her arms in his hands and drew himself forward, pressing his lips to hers.

Penny's eyes widened, words dying in her throat as his mouth touched hers.

It lasted all of a heartbeat, as he drew away swiftly, his eyes darting about her face, his breath coming out in staccato bursts. His long fingers released their grasp but only just, curling on her skin as he waited, waited, waited...waited to see her reaction, waited to see what she would do, what she would say. His busy, busy mind all ready measuring, calculating-

And then she raised a hand, cupped his cheek and eased towards him, her head titling just so, her lips touching his once more. Sheldon relaxed, but only marginally. His previous kisses had never been something worth while and he was surprised to find himself so enraptured by what was taking place.

It was as much a wonderment to him as when he had first discovered his love for physics and that truly surprised him. Sheldon had always thought that, to feel this way, would be a sure sign that he was lowering his mental and moral standards to that of the common man. And Sheldon Cooper was anything but a common man.

Still, the feelings he found cascading through his system now were nothing short of outstandingly pleasant and he found his fingers not only holding her arms more firmly again but drawing her closer, needing her to just...needing her...

He found himself quailing under so many emotions at once and he didn't know how to possibly quantify them. His mind was exploding with a million different thoughts and formulas and theorems and he was bending to her, willing her to help him, and then it all went to screeching silence as the tip of her tongue dragged gently, lazily, along his lower lip.

Sheldon's mind had never been this quiet.

He had never...not thought before.

But a white, blissful thoughtlessness wrapped around him as she continued tasting, exploring the full curve of his bottom lip, which dropped just slightly, allowing her to dip into his mouth. The warm, liquid tip of her tongue flicked against his, causing a lightning bolt of heat to lodge deep within him.

Penny was coaxing him, her mouth, her movements, he could somehow sense it, her asking him to participate and Sheldon was never one to back down from a challenge, no matter how intimidating.

His hands slowly crawled up her arms, leaving goose bumps in their wake, his fingers threading through her golden hair, cradling her head as he matched her, kissing her back, his own mouth just as eager, just as hungry.

What had started off as a slow exploration was quickly heating up into something Penny had not anticipated. Her hands were everywhere, gliding along his chest and his back and she realized vaguely that she was deep in his arms now, his incredibly long arms, wrapped around her, holding her and this, this, this was what she had wanted. What she had needed. This is what had been missing and it was completely mind blowing.

She looked at him as she kissed him and felt as if everything she had ever known was a lie. This was earth shattering. Sheldon Cooper. Sheldon Cooper was making her feel this way, Sheldon Cooper was kissing her this way, Sheldon Cooper was...

A sound tumbled out of her before she could help it, the tiniest of whimpers and she was sure he'd draw away, but instead it just seemed to spur him on. It was as if he was answering to something within him now, something primal that neither he nor she was aware of.

And Penny wanted it to continue. God, how she wanted to just keep right on kissing him. She could lose herself in this. In fact, she was so close to losing herself. Just ease him back on the bed...

But she knew better and she started to pull away slowly, amused as he tried to follow her, his mindless ardor obvious and endearing.

Her voice was a thick whisper, "We should...we should talk..."

"Hmm?" The sound escaped him and it was the closest she had ever seen him to looking dumbstruck. She didn't know why, but she found it kind of sexy in the quirkiest way.

Still.

"Talk." she repeated, pulling away from him more and more.

He did the same and, naturally, still a bit dazed, promptly fell off the end of the bed to land on the floor in a heap. Penny let out a gasp, then found herself giggling as she tried to ask if he was okay. He looked slightly offended by the whole situation as he got to his feet and that just made Penny laugh harder.

And her laughter...

The corner's of Sheldon's mouth twitched just so, tempted to smile and that just added to Penny's laughter and she felt...she felt so good. She hadn't felt this good in...

She couldn't even remember.

She pressed a hand to her stomach, which ached slightly from laughing, and shook her head, "I'm sorry...it shouldn't even be so funny...but your face..."

"My face is comical to you?"

Penny shook her head and patted the spot next to her again, "No, no, I just...sit back down. We should-"

"Talk. Yes. You said as much," Sheldon sat back down next to her, adding under his breath, "Though I can think of much better things we could be doing at the moment."

Penny smirked. Obviously Sheldon had developed a liking for kissing very quickly. Funny. She sighed, "You feel better now? Feel...back on track?"

Sheldon sighed, his head tilting this way and that, "I must admit...it does resolve...certain issues."

"But not others?"

"I will...still have to talk to Leonard," Sheldon said quietly, his eyes avoiding hers again, "I do not see how this cannot be taken as a complete betrayal. Not to mention a breach of our roommate contract."

"I thought there wasn't anything in there about-"

"No, no, not really, but it still seems like a breach," he said sourly, "There's an addendum about stealing each other's clothing and food...supplies...I think this might qualify in that realm."

Penny didn't know how to feel about being compared to supplies, but she let it slide, "Well...we'll all need some time. I don't think...I don't think I should just jump into another relationship right away. I mean, I was with Leonard a long time and then engaged and then-"

"I am tempted to kiss you again," Sheldon broken in suddenly, "If, for no other reason, than to get you to stop talking."

"Oh yeah, you're right back on track," Penny tossed out tartly, but not without a bit of a smile.

God, she really had missed him. Even this.

And he was looking at her now. His eyes holding this note of interest they never had before and for some reason it made a shiver shoot down her spine, her lips suddenly warming at the memory of his kiss.

The warmth faded as she shook her head, tone reflective, "I was supposed to get married tomorrow."

"I know. My plan was to not cause any more unnecessary upheaval. I planned on seeing you at the church, I planned on-"

"You can't plan everything, Sheldon."

He looked at her again, "Trust me. I know."

She could feel him looking at her and she sighed, head tilting to one side, "Hey, did you ever see that movie 'Untamed Heart'?"

"Is it anything like that atrocious 'Lake House' film?"

She chuckled, "Not quite."

"Is this going to be another tedious analogy?"

She ignored him, "In that movie, Christian Slater plays this guy who's sort of...special needs...kind of like you."

"I'm not-"

"Anyway, he falls in love with Marisa Tomei and she kind of likes him back but...she's unsure and she tells one of her friends at one point that he doesn't make sense and she doesn't make sense...but together," she looked at him, "together they make sense."

Sheldon didn't answer at first, then, his face serious, he asked quietly, "What happens now?"

Penny looked at him, startled, because she had never thought she'd hear Sheldon ask her that question. That he would show that kind of...doubt and vulnerability, that he would trust her enough to reveal it, was something precious and unexpected. She wished she could give him a better answer then a soft, "I don't know."

Sheldon looked away from her, swallowing, "Okay."

They both sat there a moment, each of them lost in a sea of questions and thoughts when, out of the corner of her eye, Penny noticed Sheldon's fingers flexing on the bedspread.

His right hand, which was very close to her left one, rose slowly. His fingers crawled closer to hers, sort of creeping up like a spider, and then, eventually settled over them.

Penny smiled and adjusted her hand until their fingers were interlaced. It was funny, but somehow, sitting here on the bed, holding hands, everything seemed more real and more intimate and more serious than anything else that had gone on before.

Penny sighed and found herself flopping back down on the bed, her eyes staring at the ceiling. Sheldon carefully lowered himself and did the same. They both lay there, looking at the stucco as if they were stargazing, silently wondering where they were going from here, what roads awaited them.

But, as they held one another's hands, the idea of whatever road they would chose, whatever direction they might take, seemed a whole lot better, a whole lot brighter, together.