Forever Young

Ginny sat amongst the swaying grass, the sun's warmth creeping down her back, shoulders and arms. She watched the midday sun make the wheat all the more golden and the green of the grass light. They glowed below the haze of heat that swam over the line of the hill. She reached back, twisted her long red hair into a tight coil and pulled it over her shoulder. She let her hair uncurl on her chest and she played with a few strands between her fingers, following all the while the ascent of a bird that fluttered and glided across the blue sky.

She stretched out her hand above her, fingers spread wide. The sun blazed between her fingers, outlining her hand, silhouetting it, as she peered upwards. A part of her wanted to soak up every detail that surrounded her – the buzzing of insects, the hum of a bee, the songs of the birds in the trees and the prickly grass beneath her bare feet. She wanted to imprint all she could of this day, this summer day, in her mind. It was the least she could do.

I need to remember this for him, Ginny thought as she lay back on the ground, because he can't make any more memories.

She couldn't pinpoint exactly what she felt, but it reminded her of a breeze brushing against her arm, her cheek, before winding down her spine till the small of her back. It was cold and it made her feel not quite hollow, but getting there.

She rolled over onto her side and curled into herself, eyes shut, her arm tucked under her head. The sunlight warmed her and she could feel the little legs of an overly adventurously ant crawl over her arm. She didn't move, not to flick the ant away or to urge it back to the ground.

She simply lay there, thinking of Fred and all the memories he had no chance to make.

xXx

Ginny tsked under her breath when water splashed onto her top. She grabbed the white sheet and lifted it up above the basin, letting the water stream down. She shook the sheet to rid it of the last droplets, then wrung it tightly till her knuckles were white. She brushed her hair away from her face with the back of her hand, since her fingers were wet and slick with soap. It was then that she looked up out of the little open window above the basin.

She moved the muslin curtains away as she peered outside. Along the dirt road that sneaked around the edge of a copse of trees, there was a figure, but they were too far away to see anything besides their shape. Ginny hung the sheet over her arm and drew her eyes away, frowning.

She left the kitchen through the backdoor, the gravel of the pathway crunching underfoot, before stopping at a washing line. She put a peg in her mouth and threw the sheet over the line. She pulled it straight before stretching up, balancing on the balls of her feet, to peg the sheet down. As she took a step back, the breeze picked up and sent the sheet wafting towards her slowly like a outstretched hand. Ginny turned around to look down the road, a hand on her hip and the other shielding her eyes from the glare of the sun. The figure was closer.

Definitely a blonde, Ginny thought dryly as she went back inside. Pulling the plug of the basin, she watched the water spin away down the drain. She braced herself against the basin, hands wrapped around the edges, as her eyes found their way back to the road again. A part of her wondered if she should go greet this stranger, but another told her she shouldn't. And if she was being truthful to herself, she didn't want to see anyone. Not really.

What if I have been followed though?

Her hand wrapped itself around her wand in her pocket. She took a deep breath and then told herself to relax – there were no more reasons for anyone to worry about being tracked anymore. The war was over. When her hand refused to let go of her wand, she realised that it took very little to make her forget that. She knew that sometimes that the part of her mind that would forever go on replaying the war needed to be reminded that it was over.

The war is finished and done, she told herself firmly, though the fear was slow in fading away.

In the doorway, she stood waiting. And as she watched, the stranger walked around the bend. She knew it was a woman immediately by the long blonde hair that disappeared over her shoulders and the pale yellow dress she wore. As she came closer, Ginny saw that she wasn't wearing any shoes. There was only a necklace of corks around her neck and a small bag on her back.

'Luna?' Ginny breathed, not quite believing it.

The woman looked up at the tree branches hanging overhead that were laden with leaves, a smile on her face. She seemed to be humming, but Ginny could barely hear it over the rustling of the trees in the wind.

'Luna!' Ginny called out, and for a moment she stood still, almost shocked, that she had done so. Ginny was struck suddenly by the thought that it could be someone else and not Luna. Awkwardness came over her in a wave when the woman looked her way.

'Ginny?' the woman yelled back. Her smile widened and she waved. 'Ginny! It's really you!'

Luna ran over without further ado, her bag bouncing madly against her back and her hair streaming out behind her like strands of sunlight. She stopped abruptly before Ginny, making her blink, and gave her a salute with two fingers, grinning as she said, 'Loony Lovegood at your service, ma'm.'

Ginny's mouth curved into a smile even before she knew it. 'Luna, why aren't you wearing any shoes?'

'I like to feel the world beneath my feet. There's lots of the world you just don't experience with shoes,' she said seriously, her grey eyes wide. She tilted her head to the side. 'I don't get even a 'how are you'?'

'I'd ask those kinds of questions when I've invited you inside,' Ginny said, gesturing a hand over her shoulder. 'But those dusty feet' – she pointed and eyed them warily – 'aren't going anywhere near my carpets.'

'It's okay,' Luna said with a shrug. 'You can entertain me from over there. There's a perfectly comfortable patch of grass right here.' She promptly sat down, her dress flared out around her. She smiled expectantly up at Ginny, who rolled her eyes a moment later.

'You haven't changed one bit,' Ginny said, shaking her head.

Luna looked at her, her eyes strange in such a way that they were unreadable, yet not guarded but showing something entirely new to Ginny. 'You have.'

The smile left Ginny's face. She crossed her arms, simultaneously feeling both small and the urge to run her hands through her hair. The rushing joy she had felt when she saw Luna - saw someone she had known so well before – drifted away. 'How are you, Luna?' she asked quietly.

'As well as one can expect,' she answered with a bright expression that belied her words.

Ginny worried at her lip. She stared out at the fields lazing out in the sun. She asked, 'How did you find me?' She had dreaded asking the question, but she needed to know, even though a part of her didn't want to.

Luna cupped a daisy with a hand and played with the petals. 'I wasn't trying to find you, if that's what you want to know,' she said amusedly without looking up. 'It was by chance that I decided to walk along this road today. This is sometimes just how things turn out, I guess. ' She caught Ginny's gaze. 'You never really say goodbye to friends, do you?'

When Ginny didn't answer, she shrugged a shoulder and gave an easy smile. She picked the daisy and put it behind her ear. 'I've been travelling about for while now – a few months, give or take,' she said, easing her bag off her back and onto her lap. 'I've seen some amazing things, Ginny. Both magical and muggle.' She chuckled as she hugged her bag to her chest. 'I've got so many things to write in the Quibbler – that is, when we get it up and running again.'

Ginny gave her a level look. 'And are these things imaginary?'

'Nope,' she answered cheerfully, then tapped her temple with a slightly mocking grin. 'I just have the eyes and the mind that are open to many things, my dear friend. Narrow-mindedness makes you blind, you know.'

'We're not getting into this argument again.'

'Why not? It's been years since we've had it.'

'It's only been two years,' Ginny said softly, almost half-heartedly scolding. She hugged herself tighter, just because she needed something to hold onto. The urge made no sense, but it was better than thoughts of the past, of the war, of things gone now from her life before.

'Feels like a lifetime though,' Luna said airily. 'Why did you leave, Ginny?'

'I . . . I just had to leave home and everything behind for a while.' She stared down at the ground, then murmured, 'I don't really want to talk about it. Sorry.'

Luna shrugged. She pushed herself up to her feet and flicked her hair over her shoulder. 'Well,' she said decisively, 'that settles it.'

'What?' Ginny said with a frown. 'What are talking about?'

With keen eyes and hands on hips, Luna spied out the largest tree next the cottage. Her eyes became brilliant, the one side of her mouth curving upwards mischievously. 'I have found my tree,' she said purposefully, 'and I shall climb it.'

Ginny shook her head in disbelief. 'Luna-'

Luna put her hand up, then put a forefinger to her lips. A grin broke out on her face and she darted off. Ginny watched her with narrowed eyes, exasperated, as the blonde girl weaved her way up through the branches nimbly. Finally, Luna sat down on a high branch, one of her hands on the trunk for support.

'I claiming this tree,' Luna called down, a wild kind of joy in her voice. 'And I'm going to stay here till you stop being stupid, Miss Ginny Weasley!'

'Luna, stop being silly! That's crazy!'

'Have you ever known me to be completely sane? I'm going to stay a while and bother you. Hope you don't mind,' Luna said teasingly, then stuck out her tongue. 'Besides this tree is very nice, thank you very much. Perfect place to sleep really.'

Down below, Ginny huffed angrily. She crossed her arms again and scowled. 'Fine. But you won't see me feeding you! You're being ridiculous. And I'm not stupid!' She stormed off into the cottage.

What followed her was musical laughter from the high up places where birds fly.

xXx

Ginny blinked her eyes blearily, then rubbed them with the back of her hand. She stared up at the ceiling and at the sunlight that made her room glow a deep golden as it shone through her yellow curtains. She pushed herself up to a sitting position on her bed and pulled the curtain to the side. The sudden light made her narrow her eyes and she peered out of the window, only to see a sight that made her frown.

Luna was sitting in the middle of the lawn, one leg stretched out before her, the other pulled close to her chest. She had something in her hands, which she dipped into a tiny bottle at her side now and then. Ginny let go of the curtain with a sigh. She sat still for a moment, before she got out of bed and tugged on one of her old jumpers, one her mother had hand-knitted for her years ago.

Yawning, with her arms crossed over her chest for warmth, Ginny made her way to the front door, down the passage-way. The tiled floor was bitingly cold under her bare feet. She unlocked the door and stepped out onto the path, then the lawn where Luna sat. The grass was still wet with dew and the early morning light filtered in though the cover of leaves overhead. Luna looked up over her shoulder and smiled when she saw Ginny.

'You know, I was thinking this morning,' she started cheerily, 'Why do we call toothbrushes 'toothbrushes'?' She dipped a small brush into a bottle and painted her toenail a vivid red. Each of her nails had a different colour, following a rainbow pattern of sorts.

Ginny looked at her for a moment, then shrugged sleepily. 'Because we brush our teeth with them?'

Luna gave her head a small shake from side to side as if she disagreed. 'We should call them teethbrushes then instead. Surely they're brushes that brush all of our teeth, not just a single tooth.'

'I guess,' Ginny replied, noncommittally. She peered up at the tree Luna climbed yesterday. 'Did you sleep down here or up there?'

'Up there.'

Ginny frowned, then, because she was interested, she asked, 'How did you not fall off?'

Luna stretched out her legs and wiggled her brightly coloured toes. 'Sticky charms. Marvellous feat of magic, I have to say. They've helped me in more spots of trouble than I can remember.'

'You've slept in a lot of trees, huh?'

'I'm a penniless writer, Gin. It's in the job description.'

Ginny sat down next to her on the grass and smiled. 'I'd have thought you'd charm your way into getting some food at least.'

'Oh, you know people, they humour me more like,' Luna said, grinning. 'I'm a loony to them. There's this look in their eyes they get and I know then that in the back of their minds they're saying: don't get too close – or you'll become loony too.'

'Do I have that look?' Ginny murmured, as she wrapped her arms around her knees.

'You used too,' Luna answered thoughtfully. 'Before we were friends. Time will only tell if you've got it again. I hope you don't.' She smiled a quick smile that held more sadness than anything else. And with it, Ginny suddenly felt all the years she had missed – all that time she hadn't had Luna at her side to make her laugh at the unique way she saw the world.

Ginny gave her a side-long glance. 'Me too. Though, tell me if I do have that look. It's been a long time, Luna, and I guess I've changed. But . . . yeah. Well, what can I say? Madness is catching.'

'That it is,' Luna said with a hint of amusement. She bit down on a shiny red apple with a crisp crunch. Ginny glared at her.

'Where did you get that?'

Luna's eyes twinkled. 'From the orchard.'

'From the orchard that's not yours. From the orchard that's owned by my landlord.'

'Oh, come on, it's not like he's going to miss one apple. Or ten.'

'Luna!'

xXx

'We're going to go for a walk.'

Ginny looked up from her book on her lap to see Luna standing in the open doorway, the blue sky bright behind her, empty of clouds for once. She stared at Luna for a moment, at her stubborn grin, her small hands on her hips and her blonde hair tied up high on her head. Such sparkly grey eyes, Ginny thought, a little wistfully. A kind of longing swept over her. She didn't understand why it was there. Maybe she wished she could be as alive as Luna was. Maybe it was nonsensical, probably it was. But maybe it was nothing.

'So?' Luna said, staring at her with an expression that clearly said there was little choice in the matter.

Ginny set her book to the side and held back a sigh. 'Okay,' she said quietly. When she reached for her shoes, Luna shook her determinedly. Ginny didn't feel like listening to another strange reason why she couldn't wear shoes, so she didn't complain.

They set off along the road, then when they found a path into the copse of trees, Luna darted off down it, Ginny at her heels. They settled into a steady pace, walking side by side, as the path was just wide enough. Luna's eyes were wide, shining, seemingly taking everything in.

'You know, I want us to talk like we used to,' Luna said, her gaze set on the path ahead of them.

Ginny raised an eyebrow. 'Like when you said random, strange things and I had to reply with something that would guide us into a real conversation?'

Luna rolled her eyes, chuckling, and said, 'Yeah, something like that. I miss talking to you like that.' She stayed quiet for a moment. 'But ever since the war, there's been this seriousness that's saturated everything. I can see it in you, and I can see it in myself. Sometimes I miss living my life from before, when there was no constant ache in my chest, no memories I'd rather not have. Sure, it wasn't perfect before, but it was better than this. Well, sometimes.'

It hurt, inexplicably, to hear those words from Luna. Ginny's mouth felt dry and she didn't want answer, to say anything. But Luna gave her an expectant glance, one that was both hopeful and looking for understanding. Ginny looked down at the ground, at the fallen leaves that littered the path, and said, 'It was better.' The memory of Fred, his eyes empty in death, limp in George's arms, came into sharp focus. Her eyes smarted with tears, but she blinked them away. 'It was better than this.'

'But what we have now isn't entirely hopeless. A little tougher, but not hopeless,' Luna said. 'Never hopeless.'

No words passed between them after that. They walked in silence to the other side of the copse of trees, then climbed a hill to its very top. Luna sat down then, her legs tucked underneath her, her blond hair swaying with the breeze that passed them by and danced with the grasses in waves. Ginny sat down next to her and found that her nose was just a bit taller than some of the tallest grass around them.

'Do you . . . do you think he's gone to a 'better place' as they say?' Ginny asked, as she stared out at the fields below. She pulled at some grass and played with a blade, breaking it into pieces with her hands.

'This about Fred?' Luna asked quietly. Ginny didn't look her, because she knew she'd cry if she saw sympathy in Luna's eyes. She had heard enough of it from her voice. She nodded once, sharply.

'I don't believe in a god in the muggle sense,' Luna said. 'But at the same time, I believe nothing is ever lost – I believe Fred's spread across this world as rain, as dust and earth. He's not truly gone, since you still love him and think of him. And even though it's painful for you, he's alive in your memories. You know my mother died when I was young . . . well, I believe she's everywhere – everywhere I need her to be.'

'I don't know what to believe. All I know is that my big brother's gone and I've missed him every single day for two very long years. And it isn't getting better. It isn't lessening. It hurts just as much as that first day.'

'Ginny,' Luna murmured softly, her voice thick with emotion. Luna pulled her into a hug and tears very nearly overtook Ginny then. 'Listen to me,' she said gently. 'One day, it'll just click. You'll realise, in your own way, that just because they have stopped living, doesn't mean you have. It may certainly feel like it, but your heart still going strong, Gin. You'll realise that they wouldn't have wanted you to stop living. Then, when you know this, know it to be true and not because someone told you it was, everything changes. The sky is bluer, the grass greener and the world just that bit bigger. You awaken from a sleep, a nightmare perhaps, to what the world was like before they died. It won't be the same – time won't allow for that – but it'll be different in a way you can understand. And that makes all the difference, my friend, a difference that helps you survive past all this heartache.'

'I just don't know what to do anymore, Luna . . .' Ginny whispered, hating how her voice was breaking. 'I really don't know anymore.'

'After I lost my mother, it helped me to think of what she would've wanted for me,' Luna said as she stroked her red hair slowly, soothingly. 'Think of what Fred would've wanted for you, Ginny. You knew him far better than I ever did. Would he ever want you to be like this? Be so unhappy?'

Ginny gave out a deep breath, then a smile twitched reluctantly onto her lips as her eyes brimmed with tears. She wiped them away with the back of her hand. 'The big fool would've given me the worst prank he could think of for acting like this. He'd then laugh and tease me for days about it. No, he wouldn't want me to be like this, Luna.' She sighed deeply. 'Even now I miss their pranks. George doesn't have the heart for them now really . . . but someday I know he will. I miss their laughter. That was one of reasons why I had to leave home. George didn't laugh anymore, never smiled. But together, those brothers of mine always made things seem brighter. . . It's all gone now though.'

Her heart was beating fast in her chest and she could feel herself shake, close to tears, to sobbing. But Ginny had to say something, anything, to get rid of the ache in her chest. She had hidden it for so long. She had hidden away from the world for too long, left her family alone when she needed them and they needed her. She gulped down a sob, or a scream – she didn't really know.

'Why was it possible for us to go for so long without saying we loved each other?' Ginny whispered, closing her eyes. 'I loved my brother – I really did. We grew up together, called each other names, laughed and cried together, comforted one another and held hands through all those hard times that seemed like they would never end. But even with all that, all those years he was there, we never really said we loved one another, even though it was obvious. I want to be able to say it to him – at least one more time. It was left unsaid for so long . . . too long.'

'Then talk to him, Gin,' Luna said, pulling out the hug. 'He's everywhere you need him to be.'

Ginny frowned down at the ground and shook her head.

'Come on, Gin. Come on. Say whatever comes instantly into your head. He's here. He'll listen,' Luna urged. 'Why is there any need to truly say goodbye?'

'I'll feel stupid talking to nothing. He's dead. He can't hear me.'

Luna took her hands in hers. 'Do it. Talk to him.'

Ginny looked up at her and searched her eyes. She frowned at the surety she found in them. She pulled her hands free and clasped them together on her lap. She stared out at the fields. It was a day that looked like any other, but she felt very different, out of sync. Not long ago she had managed to distance herself from this sadness, but after all that had been said and done, it was impossible to go back to that distance.

Then, very quietly, Ginny said, 'I'm sorry. I miss you. I love you, you idiot, and don't you dare forget that. You better be raising hell wherever you are, Fred.'