Title: Love on Shabondy

Rating: K

Pairing: You'll see. *wink*

Warnings: Violent kissing. Crack.

Disclaimer: You know the drill.

-----X3-----

They met on Shabondy, in a small, cheap restaurant selling decent food. She was scarfing down an entire table of food with her crew—the lot of them were famished after their escape from the Grandline's clutches—while he had just entered, his gait a lazy strut as he pushed through the salon doors.

As fate would have it, they both glanced up at that moment, and they fell still and silent amidst the noise.

In her softly shining eyes, was reflected a tall, handsome prince, golden hair askew over the left side of his face and the one visible curly eyebrow high on his brow in surprise and wonderment.

Oh yes, this man, she thought lustily, coyly adjusting her jacket to bare the skin of her throat. What would mah mama have to say about this roving, hot-blooded stallion, I wonder?

He, in turn, saw voluptuous pink-haired beauty, red lips plush and speckled with crumbs of food, her skin dewy in the restaurant's dim lighting.

She's the one...oh lordy, thank you God! My bachelorhood is at end!

In that moment, he knew it was love. He would do anything for her...die for her...sell his soul to the devil to make her happy...spend each day on his knees serenading her divine loveliness under a golden moon. To hell with his crew, forget the price on his head; this woman would be his...

In that moment, she too knew it was love. She wasted no time; this piratess knew exactly what measures had to be taken when such a feeling swelled up to ignite in her chest...

"You there! Blondie! Marry me!" screamed Lola, Captain of the Rolling Pirates.

"She's gone and asked another one!"

"Will she be rejected again!?"

Duval instantaneously fell to his knees, hearts spewing from his one visible eye.

"Yes! Yes! I shall marry you! My delicate phacochoerus aethiopicus!"

"Ahhh! That's the three-thousandth-four-hundred—wait...what!?"

No-one answered this question. They were all too busy staring in shock at (or averting their eyes from) the pair of lovers now entwined on a table, exchanging spit.

"Somehow," one Rolling Pirate commented to another, sounding nauseated, "I think I preferred it when they rejected her advances."

-----X3-----

I call this the Kokoro-effect. Remember at Enies Lobby in the tunnel, when Sanji was losing consciousness and was in awe describing a mermaid that appeared to be beautiful...then the punch line slams you in the face by showing that wonderfully crinkly old lady instead (I love Kokoro, honestly I do)? Well, this is supposed to have the same effect.

Phacochoerus aethiopicus=Desert Warthog.

Somewhat of a paraphrase from the movie Prince of Egypt, as Ramses eyes up a captive slave girl. "Well then, let us examine this...delicate desert flower."